Title: Needing Your Love

Author: Calie

Summary: Danny's past and family finally begins to catch up with him and he finally reaches out to the person he's wanted for a while now. His decision could have consequences to more than just himself.

Notes: New story. Totally seperate from my Pursuing Lindsay series. I really need reviews for this one. It's a lot easier to write fluff. I'm finding this one to be more involved then I would like. So please let me know that you like it so I convince myself to write more.

Having never been to Danny's apartment before, she had no idea where he lived. However, being a CSI and all, it was quite easy to find a computer and locate his address. Now standing in front of his door, she wasn't exactly sure what she was going to do.

Danny had always been nice to her and when she had been subpoenaed to go back to Montana he had been the first one to see that something was wrong. Eventually after much pursuing by him she spilled and told him everything of that fateful night. Now she wanted to check on him and it wasn't just out of obligation because of what he had done for her. It was because she cared for him and Lindsay was genuinely worried about him and what he might do. While working in New York she heard some rumors of his past but never was sure of anything she heard and didn't dwell on it. Now she had the sneaking suspicion that what happened tonight was somehow connected to his past. Finally she knocked, knowing she wasn't going to leave without at least trying to see him. There was no answer at first and she began to wonder if maybe he wasn't home, even though his truck was parked outside. So she knocked again, this time a little harder. Lindsay sent up a small prayer that none of his neighbors would come outside to see what all the banging was about. This time he did answer and when she saw him, Lindsay wasn't to sure if she was relieved or not.

"What do you want Monroe?" Seeing her out the peep hole had only been a mild surprise. Nothing could really shock him at his point.

"I just wanted to check on you." Her resolve was slightly weakened at his appearance. This wasn't the Danny she was used to. She took in his appearance in an effort to understand what he was going through. He still wore the same pants he had on earlier but he was now shirtless. He wasn't wearing his glasses either which was something she wasn't used to. His face looked tired and aggravated at the same time. Lindsay had the sneaking suspicion that he wouldn't be too welcoming to her presence but she had insisted on trying anyway. Then there were his eyes that looked tired and blood shot. After only a few moments Lindsay got the sinking suspicion that he was drinking.

"Really...? Well, I'm here and alive so you don't have to worry your pretty little face over it." Out of anyone who could have checked on him, Danny hadn't counted on it being Lindsay and hadn't wanted it to be Lindsay. Danny couldn't bring himself to wonder why and just closed to door. Before it closed Lindsay stuck out her boot and stopped the door from closing.

"Just because you're here and alive doesn't mean I'm still not going to worry about you. Please Danny?" Lindsay tried her best to look pleading. All of a sudden he stepped away from door but he didn't close it. Lindsay took that as an invitation and hesitantly pushed the door open. When she stepped in she looked around nervously, almost feeling like someone was going to jump out and grab her. No one did and the only person Lindsay saw was Danny and he was already sitting on the couch facing a blank TV with a beer in his hand. Lindsay turned back to the door, closed it and proceeded locked it trying her best to be quiet about it for some reason. Even her footsteps towards the sofa were quiet and when she came to the sofa she sat down quietly as far away from his as possible. "Can I ask about your brother?" When he turned to her she did her best not to cringe. Danny had never made her uncomfortable before but he was now.

"Why do you care?" The fact that cared was obvious – however, the reasons weren't. When he had wanted was for her to care about him but she hadn't. Now Danny didn't want her there at all. He'd tried for months to get her to see what was right in front of her. And now he didn't even want her friendship.

"Because I care about you Danny. You're probably one of the people I'm closest to in New York." That should be the kind of comment that comforted someone, not snort and shake their head like he just did.

It was a wonderful joke she played on him. Talking to him, being nice to him, and telling him things like that. And yet he still couldn't get as close to her as he wanted. Maybe if he just told her she'd leave. "Fine, he was shot three times in the chest. He's in stable condition but he's breathing through a tube right now. So is that what you needed to hear? Well you've heard it, you can leave now Lindsay."

He got up from the couch and walked back into the kitchen without even looking at her. It wasn't clear to her yet if she should leave or not but as long as she was there she would know he was okay, or somewhat okay. There was a sound of glass connecting to glass and Lindsay sighed. He had to be getting another drink. It took all her willpower to get up from that couch and confront him. When she came to the doorway of the kitchen there were four empty beer bottles on the counter but Lindsay suspected there were more in the trash. And now, he was pouring an already half gone bottle of whiskey into a glass. "Danny..." She walked in and took the bottle out of his hand. "I know you don't want to hear this, but drinking more isn't going to help."

When he reached out to grab the bottle from her, she held her arm away and looked at the bottle. Before he could stop her she stretched over to hold the bottle over the sink and dumped the liquid out. It wasn't the fact that she wasted the whiskey that made him angry; he had enough alcohol to drink himself in oblivion - it was the nerve of her to actually do it.

The anger was evident on his face and when he succeeded in blocking her in by placing his hands on the counter on either side of her she finally became worried. She placed her hands on his chest to hold him back at least a little but that was a mistake in itself. Touching his bare chest made her more uncomfortable then him being so close to her. They got along wonderfully but no one could rattle her more than he could when they were this close. "I'm sorry…I just don't want to see you do this to yourself." He didn't say anything and his anger seemed to fade somewhat. She couldn't imagine the pain he was going through. She knew he didn't get along with his family and rarely spoke with them because of the path he had taken. That had to be hard enough and now to almost lose his only brother was making it worse.

All he had wanted to do was scare her and be angry with her. Danny wanted to take out everything on her when she had dared to pour the contents of the bottle down the drain. Then her hands touched his chest and she looked up at him with those concerned eyes and he couldn't help relaxing slightly. It was when her hand came up to his cheek and cradled his face that he felt his resolve break. Danny's lips came down on hers. She made a soft sound of shock but that was it.

She would never have guessed that to be his reaction to her but she couldn't help but respond. His lips were hard against hers and his tongue slipped into her mouth without any warning and deepened the kiss. The hands that were on the counter suddenly were on her legs and lifting her onto the counter. Lindsay instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist to hold on as he was lifting her up and couldn't help the feeling that rushed through her at being pressed against him. It was wrong to be feeling what she was then. She knew exactly what he was doing and it wasn't going to solve anything. He was drunk, he was hurting, and he was desperate. What they were doing wasn't going to solve anything. It was so hard to drop her legs and push him back but she had to. "Danny, we can't."

He wasn't going to listen, he couldn't. Not after he had been waiting so long for her. Not after he just kissed her. He brought his lips to her neck and kissed down it slowly. "Yes we can." Her hands relaxed on his chest and he stepped closer to her.

No they couldn't. Not even when he was kissing her neck and sliding a hand up the back of her shirt. Why he couldn't have come onto her under better circumstances was something she would have liked to know. But he was using her to take his mind off his situation and that she wouldn't have, no matter how much she felt bad for him. "No." This time she used much more force, at least enough that he was forced to let her go. "You're not going to use me for this."

"Use you?" As usual she had no idea - none whatsoever. He shook his head and turned his back to her and to the refrigerator. When he opened the door she jumped off the counter and shut it with her hand. "You're not drinking anymore."

Danny turned back to her with a glare. He wasn't drunk, even though he'd been working himself up to it. As usual she had no idea of anything going on with him. "I was getting water." She didn't seem totally convinced but she did step away. There were more beers in the refrigerator and he was tempted just to grab one to spite her but in the end he took a bottle of water. "You know Lindsay," he started when he turned back to her, "I may have not been all that nice to you in the beginning but since then I've done everything I could to help you and be nice to you - everything. And now you think I'm using you." He turned from her and walked back to his living room, trying not to think about the look on her face.

It made no sense what he said. If anything he actually seemed hurt about her pushing him away. It shouldn't have bothered him. He could've used any number of women as his release, why should he be upset that she didn't want to be the one? Lindsay was determined to find out though. She followed him in there and stood next to the couch. "Danny, you didn't want me. You wanted someone to help you forget. So why should you be mad that I wouldn't want you to use me for that?"

For a really bright CSI she was kind of clueless. Danny set the bottle down on the table and stood up. "Fine, maybe I was hoping for that." Her forehead wrinkled and he could see the hurt in her face so he quickly continued. "But trust me Lindsay," he softened his voice and stepped closer to her, "I've wanted you for a lot longer than just tonight."

No, no, no. There was no way. Lindsay stepped back and looked down at the floor in confusion. She couldn't help but asking herself over and over again where in the world had this admission of his come from. They had always mildly flirted but that didn't mean anything. That didn't mean this confession that he had just thrown at her. "So you're telling me this now?" Lindsay looked back up at him and shook her head in confusion. "Why?"

Why? That had been a damn good question. He had done a pretty good job of covering up his feelings for her. Sure he'd taken her to lunch a couple of times but she paid for him a few of those times. Then he teased her quite off which probably could be seen as flirting but she dished out her fair share too. So why was it he couldn't contain himself now. Probably because she was right, he had needed someone to help him forget. Except he hadn't just wanted anyone. He couldn't talk to his brother, his family was off limits, and after that all he had was work. If there was anyone one from work he would have wanted it was Lindsay. "I'm tired of acting like I don't want you, especially right now."

"Danny you just can't say things like that. I mean you're brothers in the hospital, don't you have enough to worry about it?" He didn't say anything or even give anything way by his look. Instead he just sat down. She knew she was going to regret it but she sat down. "Danny?"

"Trust me - I have nothing better to do then just sit here. Anyone who visits my brother I don't want to see and Mac said I had to take at least two days off. I think he's worried about me getting in the lab and looking at the evidence." Sitting in his apartment was making him crazy. He'd gone to see his brother as soon as he had found out, just out of desperation. Then when he'd seen his condition had stabilized and their father walked in soon after, Danny knew it was time to leave.

She hadn't wanted to say she was sorry but for some reason she didn't feel like that would be very helpful. Instead she just remained quite. It gave her time to think about what she should do. Lindsay didn't want to leave him, especially now that she could see he had no where else to go. But she was worried about Danny's sudden declaration. She wasn't too sure that he wouldn't try anything again and she wasn't too sure that she would be able to stop him. It definitely wasn't right, but she could only force herself to say no for so long. Him sitting there without a shirt on and his chain lying on his bare chest wasn't helping much either. "Danny I didn't mean to make this any harder by coming over." He turned to her and seemed to be studying her face for a few moments which made her more uncomfortable every second.

"So when I kissed you, did you want me to at all?" That's what would make it harder, her telling him that she didn't want him kissing her, that she didn't share his feelings. Danny didn't have to ask that question then but he was a glutton for punishment at the moment.

She had opened her mouth to say she didn't know. That way she could say something that would keep it neutral. Then after she thought about it she knew that wouldn't give him an answer. "Yes." Suddenly Lindsay felt like she'd lost all her ground with him, especially when he twisted his body and rested an arm on the back of the couch so that he could face her.

"Then why did you stop me?" It was hard to tell but Danny would almost swear that she seemed to become more alarmed when he turned towards her.

"Because under the circumstances I didn't think it was right." Unconsciously she tried to scoot back but she found she couldn't move, the arm of the sofa blocking her.

"I really don't care about that. I would have done it eventually."

He was going to do it again. The man acted like he had no care in the world. His face was closer to hers and she knew he was going to kiss her. "Danny you can't" She put her hands on his shoulders to try and stop him but she couldn't help but notice that she didn't seem to be really pushing him away. At this point she was putting up a feeble attempt to stop him.

There was no point in talking to her, to try and reason with her. Danny just grabbed the back of her head to secure that she couldn't pull back, and leaned forward. Her arms only put up a mild resistance and it was easy enough to close the distance between them.

When he kissed her this time it wasn't as hard and demanding as before. The first time he kissed her she knew she could push him away. He'd given her notice that he had any feelings for her and it hadn't been right. Now that they'd had time to talk and she could feel him against her again it was even harder for her to keep him away. "You can't have sex with me." Her words were said against his lips but she was pretty sure he heard her.

Danny kissed her cheek and brought his lips to her ear. "Who said I wanted to?" She pulled back and for a moment looked a little taken aback. He couldn't help but smirk at her.

It took Lindsay a moment to realize that he was joking. Then when she did he was kissing her again. An arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her towards him and within a moment she found herself on her back. It wasn't exactly a situation she wanted to find herself in. This way she had less control over him and it was a lot more intimate then him kissing her in the kitchen or sitting next to her and kissing her. It took some maneuvering but she pulled her legs onto the sofa and couldn't help but release a soft moan when he settled between her legs. His weight supported by his forearms.

Danny would love to have been able to see how far she would have let him go but there was a knock at the door a couple of minutes later and he pulled away hanging his head. "You've got to be joking." If it weren't for what happened to his brother Danny would have ignored it. Almost nothing could have kept him away from Lindsay at that moment. "Please don't move."

What she should really do was leave, regardless of who was at the door. Instead she went against logic and nodded.

There was another knock at the door and Danny sighed. "Sorry." He pushed himself off her and stood up only to hear another knock. "I'm coming!" Having his time with Lindsay interrupted was aggravating enough, but the consistent knocking was really starting to piss him off. Before he even made a move to open the door he looked through the peep hole. "Fuck." Danny turned to Lindsay. "Lindsay I need you to go in my room."

She had already been sitting up but at his words she stood up. "Do you want me to just leave?"

"No, I really need you just to be out of sight. Please." She seemed to consider it for a second but she nodded. "Just go down the hall. It's the last door. Close the door." When he heard the click of the door shutting, Danny turned back around and opened the door. "What do you want?"

"Now Danny, that's no way to talk to your father."