Impossible

A Gundam Wing Fan Fiction

Rambled Off by The Manwell

Book Two: PREVENTERS

Duo Maxwell

"Ahh..." I lean back in my chair, close my eyes, fold my hands over my pleasantly full stomach, and murmur to my host, "You know, if I thought you wouldn't kill me on sight, I'd ask you to marry me."

Wufei snorts and I hear the creak of his chair as he leans back against it as well. "You say that every time I cook, Maxwell," he observes dryly. "I'm used to it by now."

I crack open my eyes and attempt to look wounded. "Alas, I have reached the bottom of the pit of pathetic; I've become predictable..." A wicked grin tugs my lips upward at the corners. "How to change that, I wonder..."

Wufei sighs and shakes his head. "I shouldn't have said anything," he intones flatly.

"Yeah," I agree with a mellow sigh. "You really shouldn't have. Especially since Heero's not here to help you distract me from formulating my evil plans."

There's a long pause following that remark. And while long pauses during a conversation with Wufei are not uncommon, this particular one is. I take a moment to study him a little harder, noting the uncertainty in his body language that makes him tense.

"What is it?" I ask him. My eyes widen and my pulse skips as something occurs to me. "Did you find out something about that company Heero's infiltrating or –"

"Calm down, Duo," Wufei says quietly, rising from the table and carrying his dishes to the counter. "You know I'd tell you the moment I found something." He turns and scowls at me thoughtfully. "It's only been three days. What's got you so wound up about it, anyway?"

I shrug. "Nothin' really," I hedge. "I'm always edgy right before the first check-in." Which is true. Mostly. I try to ignore the fact that I've been counting down to Heero's first scheduled communication since we parted ways after work the night before the mission. His message tomorrow should put me out of my misery.

Still, Wufei doesn't buy my lame half-truth. He crosses his arms over his chest and glares at me.

I sigh. "I was up on rotation for this one but Une decided to go with Heero. I just..." My jaw clenches down for a moment. "I just hate being the one that's left behind," I grumble. "The guy in the field has all the options, all the control... And I just hate sitting on my ass, waiting. And I can't even hope for some action because that would mean that Heero's in danger and I have to back him up." I link my fingers behind my head and close my eyes. "Desk duty sucks, no doubt about it," I conclude, "because as badly as I want to be out there, that would mean wishing something would go wrong and that just feels like... like I'm..."

"Betraying your partner?" Wufei supplies when I flounder.

I kind of twitch a little and give him a speculative look. I suddenly realize that I've never really thought of Heero as "my" partner. Just another agent I work with a lot. Huh. "Yeah," I admit, albeit reluctantly.

"You're not the only one," he tells me.

It's not really a comfort, but it does broaden my perspective a little bit on the subject. "So that's why you threatened me with bodily injury if I didn't come over tonight."

Wufei shrugs. "Sometimes distractions are necessary," he replies, quoting Heero.

I can recall when he'd said that, too: not so long after I'd joined up with the Preventers. I'd been defending my seemingly frivolous hobby of tinkering with gizmos and gadgets to Wufei when Heero had thrown in his two cents. I don't think I'd ever heard him defend one of my personality quirks before. Still, despite Heero's support, Wufei hadn't been won over:

"But... For the love of the ancestors, who the hell needs a talking toaster?"

I almost grin at the memory. I love Wufei to death, but the guy just has no sense of adventure.

And that last thought reminds me of sipping coffee with Heero in the break room earlier this week. I sigh.

"You're worried about him," Wufei tells me suddenly.

I resume glaring at him. Taking a breath, I open my mouth to retort but Wufei cuts me off with something equally abrupt.

"What the hell happened between you two?"

Thoroughly confused, I manage a highly intelligent "Huh?"

Wufei settles back in his chair at the table and regards me calmly. "Back during the war, I noticed the way you and Heero dealt with each other. Just from watching, I would have thought you to be friends. But every time you spoke to one another... you sounded like rivals." Wufei's lips curve into a sad sort of smile. "Not much has changed since then, even though you've been partnered with each other nine times out of ten over the last two years."

I absorb this in silence, a little startled that Wufei's even broaching the topic. I mean, what does he care? After all, Heero and I do get along even if we aren't best buddies or anything...

"I consider both of you my friends," Wufei continues, somehow reading my mind. "And I know you consider me a friend, but I don't understand why you haven't extended the same courtesy to Heero."

"Why the hell are you bringing it up, anyway?" I hear myself snark.

"Duo..." Wufei replies slowly. He's using that tone of voice that tells me my churlishness is flowing off of him. He's using that expression that indicates he's baring his soul to me. God damn him. I can't be an asshole now.

And he's still waiting for the truth. Reluctantly, I cooperate.

"I can't," I finally reply, eyes narrowing and arms crossing over my chest.

Wufei frowns, not understanding. In all honesty, I don't really understand it, either. "I don't think I've ever heard Duo Maxwell say he can't do something."

He has a point. And I do wonder why I can't open myself up to Heero but no logical reason is forthcoming. There's only a dark, black, thick space in my mind that separates me from someone who might have been my friend, once upon a time.

I can't think about this right now. All I can do is shake my head and offer the only excuse I have: "I can't."