Reo: Here we are again!

Jonasel: You know… this job wasn't as glamorous as you made it out to be Reo.

Reo: I know… but you've got a contract so now you're stuck with me for life!

Jonasel: FOR LIFE!

Reo: Yeah… you should read what you sign…

Cut out the Crap!

As they sat down in the great hall, Hermione resisted the urge to kill Harry and Ron, who, on the train, had tried to kill her. Firstly they had tied and gagged her. Then they had found pieces of broken furniture and luggage to put around her feet. Then they had attempted to set her alight using incendio. Thank goodness they were both idiots and couldn't figure out how to do it or Hermione would now be a pile of smoldering ash.

"Greetings once again," Dumbledore bellowed across the hall, "and welcome to another year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"OH MY GOD!" Harry screamed, "WITCHCRAFT!"

"I TOLD YOU HARRY! THEY'RE ALL IN ON IT!" came Ron's voice which was equally loud.

Hermione attempted to move further away from them, but unfortunately the table was crowded.

"Is something wrong Mr Potter and Mr Weasley?" Dumbledore asked. The entire hall was now starring at them, but refusing the urge to laugh only because Dumbledore was speaking.

"YOU'RE ALL WITCHES!" Ron screamed while pointing to Lavender Brown, who was trying not to giggle.

"I see…" Dumbledore said, rolling his eyes which seemed like the one hundredth time. "Well now will probably be a good time to tell you that the school will need to make some cuts this year."

"Cuts?" Hermione asked, ignoring Harry and Ron who were running around frantically, trying to crucify Parvati.

"Yes, it appears that from all the extra magical security expenses used to keep Lord Voldermort from getting into the school… which have been building up since Harry P arrived here… no, that's too obvious… make that H Potter…" Everyone stares at Harry who is tying up Luna to a stake. "Anyway… I'm afraid that that the following areas will suffer severe cuts… library resources…"

Hermione stares at Dumbledore with utter shock written on her face.

"…herbology flora…"

Neville sulks in his seat.

"… and last, but not least… the dark arts…"

Draco punches the nearest person in rage (which coincidentally, just happened to be himself).

"I'm afraid that this is the case at hand…" Dumbledore continued, "…and if any of you see a problem with it I suggest you all take it out on Mr. Potter during your breaks."

The whole hall eyed Harry with pure hatred. Even during the feast not a single one of them uttered a word to Harry, which made him feel depressed.

"It's not my fault that Lord Volde-… Lord Voldemer-…"

"Lord Voldermort Harry," Hermione whispered, not really realising the severity of the name she had just spoken.

"Yeah… that guy. It's not my fault he's trying to kill me," Harry said like an unloved puppy.

"Yeah. It's not your fault that Hermione will have to study with second-rate books," Ron smiled, which made Hermione's lip curl.

"Precisely," Harry said, digging his teeth into a chicken wing. "There's nothing I can do about it."

Meanwhile… on the Slytherin table…

Draco: Now's the perfect opportunity!

Crabbe: Perfect opportunity for what?

Draco: You truly are an idiot, aren't you Crabbe?

Crabbe: I'm not an idiot… I just have no idea what you're talking about, that's all.

Doyle: I think he's referring to the cunning plan…

Crabbe: Oh yes! The cunning plan! What was that again?

Draco: (Put's his face in his hands) we're going to put the potion into Potter's pumpkin juice you blumberhead!

Crabbe: Oh… of course… and why is now the perfect opportunity?

Draco: Because, my petite brained friend, the whole school is outraged at Potter because of all the cuts Dumbledore needed to make for him.

Doyle: I see…

Draco: So if Potter goes insane because of this potion now, no one will care!

Doyle: That's genius Draco!

Draco: I know!

Back with the two idiots, the smartarse and the three posh talking brits (one of them being tied to a stake)

"Why must they cut down on herbology?" Neville queried (in his unusual stereotypical British accent)

"I suppose it has to be done if we have Harry Potter at our school," Ginny stated mockingly.

As Hermione tried desperately to cope with the grief of never seeing another new book in the library again, she noticed Malfoy stand up irregularly from his own table and begin to walk over to theirs.

"Why is Malfoy walking over here?" she asked Ron and Harry. They only had the brain capacity to concentrate on one thing at a time, and at the moment they seemed to be only interested in food. Hermione continued to watch Malfoy as he walked along Harry and Ron's side of the table. Just before he passed them he stumbled, sending a whole palter tumbling onto the ground.

The entire Gryffindor table cracked up. Hermione was the only one who kept a straight face as she watched Malfoy stand up again. Malfoy wasn't usually clumsy she thought as the rest of the table laughed around her. But then, with a slip of a wrist Malfoy did something over Harry's drink. Hermione was obviously the only one who noticed. As Malfoy wandered off Harry was about to take a sip of his drink…

Reo: Muahahahaha!

Jonasel: Stop that…

Reo: No… I won't!

Jonasel: Fine…

Reo: Muahahahaha!

Okay. You do not have to tell me that this is one of the craziest stories I've ever written. I already know. I hope all you insane people have enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it, that's all.

Responses to reviews…

Kimtheoddball-

Reo: I like your character suggestion Kim. I shall consider it.

Jonasel: What! I write! Just because it's not on this site like Reo's is doesn't mean I don't do it too!

Lizie-

Reo: Thank you so much for reviewing Lizie! Luv ya lots!

Lexie-potter-

Reo: No. I didn't write this on that afternoon where you were sleeping. But yes. I'm planning on writing more to this. As for the craziness comment… I already know I'm crazier than Kim, so you don't have to tell me.