NightIntent: My, the things boredom makes me wonder about. This is, mostly, just a bit of a joke, and it was entertaining for me to write. I hope you all like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Snow White.

Tala's fall, and her plot to get back up. A friend's tolerance, and a prince's true nature. The story of Snow White.

Tala's eyes flickered open. She remembered what was going to happen that day and smiled. Tala would be getting a well-planned "lucky" break. Lucky for her, that is. Not so much for the dwarves that forced her to slave away all day, under the pretense that they liked her. But Tala had found a way to get away without going anywhere. And those stupid dwarves wouldn't suspect a thing.

"I love today already," she murmured to herself, her smile turning wicked. She tossed the covers off the bed, then straightened them and got dressed. That day, Tala went about her work singing. Contrary to popular belief, she loathed both singing and housework. The only reason that she had been working for the dwarves for so long was because she had no choice. If she wasn't useful to them, the dwarves would kill her.

Though I suppose they like me well enough now, Tala thought. Her smile widened into an even wickeder grin. Hopefully, they like me enough to not bury my "dead" body. "I can't wait until Kaila gets here," Tala muttered. "After today, I'll never have to do housework again."

Starting to hum again, Tala moved downstairs, to the kitchen. She got a sponge and cleaner from below the sin, and began scrubbing the sink and counters. To pass the time, she mopped the floor, too. After she finished that, she decided she would sit in the living room to wait for Kaila to arrive. "Great, now I'm bored," Tala remarked to the air around her.

All of a sudden, a bird flew in through an open window. "Was that window open before?" Tala asked. Shrugging, she dismissed the question and went to get the bird out of the house. It had flown up to the rafters, and was sitting there, staring at Tala in a distinctly mocking way.

"Why you little--" Tala muttered. "Get down here, damn it!" She started to climb the stairs, grabbing the broom on the way up. Brandishing her household weapon, Tala walked calmly towards the bird, talking to it as she got closer. "There now, it's okay, little bird," she said, raising the broom to strike the bird down to the floor. "You're safe here. I won't hurt you." Much, she added silently to herself.

Right before Tala was about to strike, the bird flew to the other side of the rafters. "Damn you!" Tala exclaimed quietly. "Get back here, so I can smack the hell out of you!"

The bird whistled softly and tipped its head to the side, staring at Tala. Tala nearly growled. "You thrice-cursed little idiot bird, get back here!" she half-yelled. Tala sprinted down the stairs, toward that side of the room. When she was directly below the bird, she threw the broom straight up in the air, expecting it to hit the bird. The result was that the bird flew away.

And Tala was stuck underneath a broom being pulled inexorably downwards by gravity. "Why can't I ever think these things through?" Tala asked herself as the broom fell. It hit her right on the head. "Ow." She grabbed the broom from where it had fallen on the ground and looked around for where the bird had gone.

The bird was exactly where it had been the first time that it'd landed on the rafters. "Damn it!" Tala shrieked. She marched over to the couch, grabbed a pillow, and launched it at the bird. Without moving, she watched where the bird landed again and threw another pillow at it. And another after that. She kept throwing pillows until she was out of ammunition.

Muttering curses on all birds under her breath, Tala went into the kitchen to find something to chase the cursed animal out of the house. Her gaze alighted on something. Of course! Why hadn't she thought of it before? One of the dwarves was desperately fond of poppy seeds, and sprinkled them on almost everything. There was a large bag of them in the pantry. She grabbed a handful and brought it out into the living room.

"Here, little bird," she called sweetly. "Look what I've got for you. Some nice poppy seeds. Come and get them." She dropped the poppy seeds on the floor and went back a few steps. She grabbed the first thing that came to her hand, which just happened to be a mop that she'd leaned there sometime before. The bird cocked its head at Tala and just stared for several moments.

Finally, just when Tala had given up on it, the bird flew down and began to eat the poppy seeds. Tala waited a few moments, until she thought it was engrossed in its eating, then struck. With a triumphant cry, she swung the mop down and hit the bird. With a startled cry, the bird flew up into the air and out the window.

"Ha!" Tala yelled after it. "I got you! Think you can beat me? Stupid bird!"

"Yelling at birds now, Tala?" someone asked. Tala jumped and looked around. Leaning on the wall next to the window was a tall, blonde-haired girl. "You get weirder every time I see you."

"Kaila!" Tala cried. "Finally! I've been waiting for you all day!"

"No kidding," Kaila said. "Now, should we get this over with? I need to go find that prince of yours, too, remember. So. Here's what you asked for." Reaching into her pocket, Kaila pulled out an apple, a few herbs, and a small bag. "Let's begin, shall we?"

Tala took a bite of the apple while Kaila muttered something over the herbs and bag. "Good, that's done," Kaila said in satisfaction. "Give me the apple back." She tucked the apple back into her pocket and pushed the herbs and bag toward Tala. "Put the herbs into this bag. The herbs are spelled to make you sleep until I release the spell. The bag… well, that's to put them in to make the tea. I just spelled it to make sure that the water wouldn't ruin the enchantment. So, that's it, then. I'll see you in a few days when you wake up."

"Yeah," Tala said happily. She gathered up the items. "Wait! Don't you need to leave the apple?"

"Good point," Kaila said. She pulled the apple back out and gave it to Tala. "I'm going to go find Billy, then."

"Billy?" Tala asked, confused.

"Your prince," Kaila said. At Tala's still-perplexed expression, Kaila sighed. "His name's William, isn't it? William, Bill, Billy. You know how much I hate the names William and Bill. But I have no problem with Billy."

"Yeah, sure," Tala said. "See you in a week or so, then." Kaila nodded to Tala and walked out the door. "Yes!" Tala exclaimed. "I can finally get out of this stupid hellhole!" She ran to the kitchen and put water on the stove to boil. As she waited for the water to heat up, she got out a mug, put the herbs into the bag, and the bag into the mug.

Soon, the water was heated enough to make tea. Tala didn't wait for the water to boil, she was too impatient. She quickly drank a few sips of the tea. And nearly gagged. "She could've mentioned how bitter it--" Tala collapsed onto the floor in a dead faint, the mug and apple rolling away from her, tea seeping slowly into the wooden floor.

Later that day, when it was nearly dark, the dwarves came home. "Hey, Snowy!" they called. "Why don't we smell our dinner?" As they walked into the kitchen, they saw Tala lying on the floor, with the wooden floors still wet. They gathered around her, exclaiming at what had happened.

"Oh, my!" one shouted. "What could have happened to her?"

"It was this apple!" another cried. "It must have been poisoned. Or gone bad. Or maybe both!"

"Yes, yes," a third dwarf said. "But what about this tea cup here? What could this have been?"

"Hm," yet another dwarf said. "Maybe she was having tea, got hungry, and decided to eat something. And that just happened to be a bad, poisoned apple."

"Who cares? Let's just bury her and get it over with," a fifth dwarf said. He moved to pick up Tala's prone body and drag her to the door.

"No, no, we can't!" the other six dwarfs exclaimed. "She's too beautiful to bury in the ground!"

"You didn't care when she was alive," the one who wanted to bury Tala said. "Why do you care now?"

"Because you have to honor the dead," the first dwarf said. "We'll make her a glass coffin and keep her in that, in the clearing on the way to work. That way, we can look at her every day, on the way there and the way back. Does that work for everyone?"

There was a muttering of general agreement, and all the dwarves went outside and started on the coffin. Because they just happened to have extra glass lying around. They worked through the night. By the time the sun rose, Tala was lying in her new coffin.

"Perfect," a few dwarves sighed. "Just perfect." They went back to their house for a couple hours of sleep before they had to go back to work.

A few days passed with nothing happening. Tala hadn't woken up from her herb-induced coma yet. On the sixth day after Tala had drunk the tea, she woke up. That afternoon, Kaila came back. Without William.

"Where is he?" Tala demanded. "You said you'd bring him! Oh, what will I do without my prince! Now I can't have my nice, perfect, fairy tale-esque ending!"

"Quit your whining," Kaila said. "I couldn't find him. I'll find you another prince. Just wait a few days."

"I can't wait a few days!" Tala wailed. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to lie still all day, every day, for days in a row? For me, that's impossible! I'll just escape now, and I'll go find William myself."

"Billy, not William," Kaila corrected. "All right, fine. Let's go, then, before those dwarves get back. Come on, hurry up."

Tala got up and walked off with Kaila. "So, where's Wi—Billy's castle?" she inquired.

"You don't know?" Kaila demanded. "But… don't you love him? How can you not know were he lives?"

"Well, he always came to visit me," Tala said by way of explanation. "I never went to his palace. Why should I have? He was the one coming to court me, after all."

Kaila glared at her friend. "Damn princesses," she muttered under her breath. "Spoiled, rotten, lazy princesses." Louder, she said, "I don't know where it is, either, though. Let's pretend it's a three day walk from here, shall we?"

"Three days!" Tala squawked. "I can't walk for that long!"

"You've been doing chores for months. Why can't you walk for three days?" Kaila asked.

"Chores are chores," Tala explained. "Walking is walking. There's a difference."

Kaila rolled her eyes and started walking. "Either deal with it, or stay here," she said over her shoulder. "So, are you coming?"

"Wait for me!" Tala called in a whiny voice. "I don't want to be left behind!" She ran after Kaila, who was walking fairly fast. "No, don't leave me behind! I have to find my William!" When Kaila glared at her, she quickly amended, "Billy, Billy. I know."

"So walk faster," Kaila said. Kaila herself sped up, looking over her shoulder at Tala. She rolled her eyes and paused for a few seconds.

Tala ran up to Kaila. "You know, for a best friend, you're awful mean," she remarked, panting. "So, where are we going to go to find out where Wi—Billy's castle is?"

"We'll ask the people in his kingdom," Kaila explained. "You do know where that is, right?"

"Of course!" Tala exclaimed indignantly. "It's the kingdom of… of… um… Haran!" She looked triumphant at having remembered that.

"Tala. That's your kingdom."

"Oh. Right. Then it's the kingdom next to it."

"Which one?"

"Um. To the north?"

"I think we're in for a long journey."

Tala looked pouty.

A few days later, Tala was lying on the round in the morning, moaning, "Oh, it hurts! I can't sleep on the ground! Princesses aren't made to sleep on the ground! Why does it have to take so long to get to my own, dear prince?"

"Quit your whining," Kaila snapped. "Just shut up. It's not my fault that you can't remember where Billy lives. If you want to find him so bad, remember where he lives and we won't have to circle around all the kingdoms around yours."

"But I caaaaan't!" Tala whined. "It's not that easy to remember things, you know."

"Sure it is, when you're not a self-obsessed, spoiled snob of a princess," Kaila muttered. "Why am I stuck being your friend? Why couldn't you have suckered some other idiot into it?"

"Because you were there, and no one else was." Tala got up slowly. "Let's go. The faster we find Wil—Billy, the sooner I can sleep in a bed."

"Good, so you can ask the next villager we meet if there's a Prince William who rules their country."

"Nooo! I can't talk to peasants!" Tala cried. "That's so… so… low! Who do you think I am!"

"I believe I said that already," Kaila replied. "Come on, let's find someone to ask first."

The two walked on. A couple of hours later, they came to the first city they'd seen since crossing the border into this new kingdom. "Hooray, a bed!" Tala cried, walking faster.

Kaila grabbed Tala's shirt. "Calm down and slow down. There's no rush. Besides, we're not staying here. You want to find Billy, right?"

Tala pouted. "Fine. But I still want to get there faster."

Kaila shrugged. "Do what you want. But you're running on your own, and that means you have to ask."

"Oh," Tala said. She slowed down.

Kaila made a face behind Tala's back. "Fine, we'll go faster." Kaila walked ahead of Tala until they got to the city. When they got there, Tala started darting around, looking at everything around her.

"City, city!" she chanted, staring into all the shops. "Oh, I do love cities! They're so… civilized!" She laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," Kaila said irritably. "Shut up already. Just stand here for a second." Leaving Tala to stare into the window, Kaila went into the shop they were standing in front of. "Excuse me," she said, addressing the shopkeeper, "but I was wondering if, perhaps, you have a prince in this country named William."

"Why, yes we do, Missy," the shopkeeper replied. "Why do you ask?"

"Do you have any idea where his castle is?" Kaila asked.

"Of course. Just follow the main road. The one just outside this shop."

"Thank you very much," Kaila said. She exited the shop. Tala was still staring inside the window. "Come on, princess, let's get going. This is the right place, we just have to follow this road here."

"Hooray!" Tala cried, starting down the road with a single-minded determination. "Let's get going!"

Kaila rolled her eyes and followed.

The two walked for a few more days. "Oww!" Tala whined. "My legs hurt! Are we almost there?"

"I told you five minutes ago," Kaila said. "We've only got about five miles to go. Give or take about three more."

Tala groaned wordlessly. "But I want to be there now!" she exclaimed.

"Deal with is," Kaila said. Suddenly, the sound of hooves hitting the ground sounded behind them. Kaila ordered, "Move to the left. No, your other left!"

The horses passed. Tala looked at their riders. She screeched. "William!" she yelled, racing forward. "William, it's me! Tala! Don't you remember me?" She made a puppy-dog face.

The lead rider, William, looked down at Tala as though she were a piece of dirt stuck on his shoe. "I know no Tala. Be gone, cur."

Tala's eyes widened and filled with tears as her prince rode off. "B-but, he said he loved me," she said, trembling.

"That shows just how pleasant men are." Kaila threw an arm around Tala's shoulders. "Come on, let's go find some work or something. We're low on cash." Tala, still pouting, let Kaila lead her back the way they'd come. Kaila grinned and added, "I'm sure you could work as a housekeeper."

NightIntent: Okay, so I love the evil little whiny princess types. They're entertaining. I was going to make it a happy ending, but... that just didn't make sense to me. After all, she's been gone for months, and the prince probably forgot about her. Plus, she's been doing chores the whole time. Why would a prince want a princess who's been doing chores for months. Besides that, I have a plan for all my stories in this fan fiction. And they all have to do with the time in which Tala's gone, and what dear Billy does. Next is Cinderella. Please review!