Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach in any way. Period.
Summary: A drabble about… Ichimaru Gin. On why he works together with Captain Aizen. And his feelings of regret towards Matsumoto Rangiku. Also the days he spent with her.
Warning: Mostly my imagination, with some manga spoilers abound.
Author notes: May seem as senseless to some but I like to think of him this way. Read on and review :p Thanks.
Ichimaru Gin: Trust and pain
"This is a little unfortunate. If only you had held onto me a bit longer… Good bye, Rangiku. I'm sorry." He says to her and sees her shocked gaping face looking at him. Ichimaru Gin smiled sadly to himself. He had succeeded in his plan to be working as an undercover for soul society - an undercover not known to anyone but the supreme commander of Gotei 13, Division 1 captain Yamamoto Genryuusai – against Aizen Sousoke's evil plan.
He had done whatever he can to get his trust. He had hurt the woman he loved most to get his trust. His trust. The trust of Aizen Sousoke.
And Ichimaru Gin wonders if he had made any good choices with the sacrifices he had made. His eyes were always closed. And there must be a reason for him not to have his eyes open in his everyday life. Because he does not want to be controlled by Captain Aizen's hypnosis tactics with his shikai. Of course, his eyes had always been small and so it would not be a problem for him to keep on squinting his eyes.
He was Aizen's vice-captain before he became a captain himself. Aizen had shared with him his dream of standing in the heavens - a dream in order to capture the world in his hands and control it. Look over it. And of the Division 5 captain's plan to prepare for the dream he dreams.
Had he done the right thing? Or had he made the matter worst by joining Aizen? Did Aizen know of his plans? Seems like the 5th captain have not questioned some of his questioning moves, like not stopping Ichigo from saving Rukia and Renji when Aizen Sousoke had come close to killing them both.
It pained him to hurt her. He had found her crying alone when they first met. She did not have a name for herself then. He had helped her and kept her company for decades before their separate ways after both joined the shinigami academy. He knew she needs somebody else' company for her to carry on living. But to a point of time, he knew he would leave her sometime in future, hence would disappear without telling her, hoping for her to learn how to live without him and she did. This pained him yet gave him relief at the same time.
Also, it pained him to go against his conscious sometimes. Like when he was ordered to use Kira Izuru for the plans of Aizen Sousoke. For the trust of Aizen, he complied. Like he was called to kill Kuchiki Rukia after they got the Houyguku from her. He had felt of Kuchiki Byakuya's presence and so hardened his heart to comply with Aizen's 'request'. Gin is sure Aizen would also have felt of the Division 6th captain's presence. Yet not questioning Gin for it.
Had he known of his double identity? Unfortunately he had come this far to get the trust of Aizen Sousoku. Or so he believes.
Owari