Chapter 2: Remembering A Friend

I watched from the shadows as he left the hanger following Jaina's departure. His boots echoed down the corridors and he looked very much like a man with a purpose. In fact, as I followed him I was reminded of that day so many years ago when the Darkest Knight, defeated by love, was determined to save us all from a doomed Temple Praxium on Yavin IV.

As soon as he reached his quarters Zekk hit the door activation panel and stumbled into the meditation chamber like a blind man. He did not bother with the lights and seemed oblivious to my presence as I slipped in behind him. Instead, he settled into a neutral stance with his back to me and his arms loose at his sides. I studied this man whom I had come to consider my brother in silence, hesitant to break into his meditations but not willing to leave him alone just yet.

"What are you doing here, Jacen?"

I smiled and wondered how long he had been aware of me. It was easy to underestimate Zekk, particularly since he was so humble about his abilities.

"San-Ah is worried and I am, too. I am here to help you." I could feel the conflict within my friend. Zekk came here to hide his pain and I was intruding. We both knew that his ship's worry was just an excuse. "I can help. I can be what you need when the pain begins in earnest."

Zekk chuckled bitterly. "We wonder what you mean by 'begins in earnest.' We are dying already, Jacen."

As ludicrous as his claim sounded, I believed it. That was why I was here. "When they move into hyperspace she will be outside normal time and space. You cannot cross with her."

Zekk hung his head and answered in a hoarse voice, "We know." After a moment spent composing himself he turned, allowing me to see his eyes bright with tears and unashamed. "Jaina is scared, but she doesn't know how to be scared, not like this. She has locked herself in her cabin to hide her fear from Kyp. How can you help us?"

"I cannot help 'us', Zekk, I can only help you."

Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes and concentrated. My time with the Fallanassi was cut short by my choice to answer Raynar's call but I still learned something of Force illusions while I was there. Unfortunately, it would still require time to build a convincing illusion of utter silence around these rooms and Kyp would be nearing the exit vector any moment. Several moments later I opened my eyes, satisfied with my creation. Focusing on Zekk, I spoke.

"You are my brother, Zekk. In this room you may vent your feelings safely and without judgment or recrimination. You may weep, you may rage, you may maim. Nothing will escape these walls while I live and breathe."

I looked to make sure he understood that, if he fell, I would not allow him to escape and vent his rage elsewhere. I found more than understanding in Zekk's eyes, I found gratitude. We both stood in silent vigil, waiting for the inevitable.

Two things happened at once. The Jaina corner of my mind wailed in despair and, before me, Zekk screamed out in agony. I staggered to my knees beneath the weight of the psychic assault, barely able to maintain the illusion of quietude and peace. Abruptly, it was over. Jaina was gone, their connection severed by the wilds of space and time. Zekk hit the ground with a sickening thud.

Checking to make sure that my illusion was firmly in place, I shook my head to clear it and began to crawl to Zekk's prone form, cursing all the way. In fact, my father would have no doubt been proud of my muttered rant. I warned him not to keep it all in and now I was afraid of what cutting their connection like that had cost him. Zekk stared up at me with vacant eyes. I couldn't feel him in the Force but I could feel his life's pulse, almost like Vong sense. I raised my hand to his head and recoiled. Zekk wasn't on any plane that I could readily reach. I almost lost the illusion and called out for my uncle but was stopped by a subtle tug at my mind. San-Ah had a suggestion.

I did the only logical thing possible and followed the seedship's advice. I opened up everything I was to Zekk through the Taat bond that people sometimes forget we share. We became JacenTaat. We were ZekkTaat. We remembered to breathe for ZekkTaat during the physical shock of the separation while his mind struggled to reassert itself even that much. We sat and we waited for ZekkTaat to catch up with us and we hoped that he would hurry. It was disagreeable to desire JainaTaat or Jaina Solo this way.

Zekk opened his eyes and looked around. He didn't know where he was, but the sunlit room felt familiar. He sensed someone behind him and turned to see a woman gracefully performing katas with a reverse grip lightsaber that tickled his memory. He was mirroring her movements almost as gracefully. Shrugging, he acknowledged this as a dream and continued.

"Do I know you?"

The woman spared him a glance of her bright blue eyes. "I should know who you know better than you know?"

Zekk had expected that answer somehow.

"I think I know you," Zekk ventured, "Why are you here?"

"That question is very similar to your previous question in most respects."

Zekk grimaced and muttered, "Now I know I know you."

A smile tugged at her soft lips as she stepped out of the form to watch Zekk. It only mildly surprised him that he knew how to continue it without her guidance. It felt as natural as breathing. He also knew that, no matter what, he could not stop because, because,

"The mind is much larger and more complex than I give it credit for."

She nodded in approval. "The student remembers."

"That is why I can think, I mean without Taat, just me right now. The motion of the kata, it focuses me and keeps me anchored here, in this place."

This earned him an eyebrow raised over a pair of serious blue eyes. "The student learns."

Zekk looked at her, annoyed and exhausted. "Look, it has been a very long few years, okay? Can we skip the games?"

Both fiery eyebrows lowered dangerously as she replied, "Who said I was playing, Zekk? Wake up."

Zekk awoke with a gasp and struggled to sit up. I gently withdrew from his mind, wondering very much where he had been but not about to intrude on his solitude. He paid too dearly for it. He looked at me, still in the grips of lonely despair, and I helped him to the couch.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Dazed, Zekk muttered nonsensically. "We, I, remembered someone- only I have forgotten again."

But he did use the pronoun 'I'. It was something.

We sat in silence the rest of the night until his departure the next morning. I think he knew that he could reach me, should he need me. I also think he recognized the need to do this alone. Perhaps someday I will know why.