A/N The almost obligatory Sam/Janet infirmary scene. I think I'm getting predictable in my old age… Also this chapter and the next are going to get slightly surreal, but what can I say? Jaffa cakes do strange things to the mind. It willreturn to normal, promise! Also apologies for the HUGE delay between updates. Lack of internet etc. My New Year's Resolution is to update regularly. And finish this story sometime this century... we can all live in hope can't we?

Chapter 21

Entering the infirmary, Sam was amused to note that Jack was already sitting on a cot, wearing his 'I hate Doctors' look.

"What surprises has Janet got for you today sir?" She asked cheekily as she sat down on a spare bed. Daniel, also feeling very cheerful, chuckled and sat down on a bed.

"Ah, the joke is on you Carter. I may have mentioned your hand to the Doc. And how you came by the injury. She just went into her office a second."

Teal'c looked up at Sam and smiled. "You do, as they say Major Carter, win some and lose some."

Janet walked into the room, followed by her entourage of nurses, and started pulling the screens around the beds and issuing orders. Placing a tray of miscellaneous medical equipment next to Sam, Janet took great joy in studying her friend closely before saying something.

"Jan?"

"You've been up to no good." She pronounced in a low voice.

"What?"

"And I'm not referring to the jump off the balcony, although I want that explaining in a minute as well." She watched Sam attempt to remain blank faced, before a small smile crept on her lips.

"I knew it! What've you and Daniel been up to?"

"Janet!" Sam hissed, gesturing for her to quieten down a bit. "We didn't do anything. And how did you guess?"

"Don't worry; no one else is likely to. I just know these things."

"She's all seeing and all knowing remember Carter." Jack's voice made both of them jump, before Sam giggled and Janet cleared her throat.

"I would hate to think you were listening in on a private conversation Colonel." She said loudly.

"Nope, nope, I wasn't doing – ouch, was that completely necessary?"

Sounds of a hand being swatted followed and Janet smirked at Sam. "So?"

"So…?"

"So what happened?"

"Janet, I'm not having this conversation with you. I'll have it with you later, when Daniel is not in the same room." She added very quietly.

"I'll hold you to that."

"Fine."

Janet looked at Sam's wrist and started to unravel the blue linen around it.

"You jumped off a balcony?"

Sam briefly explained the situation and Janet looked at the wrist in front of her.

"I would say it's definitely broken. I'll need to do an x-ray to be sure though. I'll set one up in a minute. Who bandaged it up?"

Sam blushed and Janet didn't need a vocal response. "Hmm, really? He did a good job."

X x x x x

One plastered wrist later and SG1 sat in the briefing room, freshly showered, fed, watered and generally happy to be sitting on seats that didn't gallop.

General Hammond walked in and looked at them all. He studied Colonel O'Neill's barely contained excitement and sighed.
"Ok Colonel, what did you do?" He had a feeling this was going to be bad.

"What? I didn't do anything Sir. I'm just happy to be here."

Yet more mystery. "And why is that?"

"This is going to be the best debriefing ever!"

Hammond and Teal'c simultaneously raised their eyebrows and looked at him. He smiled cheekily and shuffled the paper in front of him.

"Would someone care to tell me what's going on? Perhaps you Dr Jackson – you seem to be in a fairly normal state of mind."

Daniel looked up from where he had been gazing at a rubber plant – wondering what to cook for Sam. He cleared his throat and focussed on the task at hand; making a mental note that Italian would be nice.

Pushing his glasses up his nose while gathering his thoughts, he began. "After arriving on the planet-"

"-which had plenty of trees, again."

Hammond shot a look at Jack and nodded for Daniel to continue.

"After arriving, we discovered that there were indigenous people.-"

"By 'discovered' he means 'were captured'."

"Colonel, I won't warn you again. What is up with him today? Dr Frasier did check you all out didn't she?" The General looked at Daniel.

"Yes Sir, she did. It's probably all the fresh air. Anyway, as Jack kindly pointed out, we were captured by some indigenous people, and taken to the dungeons of a castle."

"To cut a long story short, Daniel and I were sentenced to be hung and Carter was destined to marry the evil Sheriff." Jack nodded sincerely and carried on. "But we escaped, with the help of these Merry Men who were from the story of Robin Hood. It turned out Daniel was Robin Hood, and Carter was Maid Marian, and Teal'c was Little John, and guess who I was? I was the King. Did you ever see the film Sir? Well that Scottish James Bond played the King. So we dialled home, told you we were staying, then led the villagers in a revolt against the evil Sheriff – which ended without the use of guns, and a lady attacked a knight with a live chicken General. Just imagine it – feathers flying every-"

"Colonel." The general shot his 2IC a look.

"Well she was."

"I don't care."

The table sat in silence and studied Jack, who shifted uneasily in his chair and rubbed his head.

"Are you feeling well O'Neill?" Teal'c questioned solemnly, looking at Jack.

"Actually now that you mention it, it is a bit hot in here. And I have a slight headache. Nothing serious though."

General Hammond shared looks with everyone in turn. "Anyone else feel 'a bit hot'?"

A shaking of heads confirmed his suspicions. "Perhaps you ought to head down to the infirmary Colonel, see if Dr Frasier has your blood works back yet." There was no movement from Jack. "That's an order Colonel."

"I really don't think this is necessary. But fine." He stood up and wobbled a bit, causing Teal'c to stand up ready to catch him. "I'm fine. Really."

"Teal'c, make sure he gets there. And tell Doctor Frasier his symptoms – if she doesn't notice them for herself."

Teal'c nodded and led a reluctant but quiet Colonel out of the room.

General Hammond watched them leave, before turning to the two remaining members of SG1.

"Are you two feeling like yourselves?"

"Yep. I have no idea what just went on with Jack." Daniel said with a confused look on his face.

"He was fine earlier Sir. Whatever it is has obviously developed since he got back." Sam glanced at the door the Colonel had just exited.

"Right, well if you could just fill in the details from the Colonel's…summary, then head down to the infirmary and make sure there is nothing wrong with yourselves."