The Road Not Chosen
by Joan Powers
Chapter 2
Devon explained, "Julia says although she keeps the medical equipment under close scrutiny, someone could've easily borrowed a hypodermic syringe to administer the poison to me while I was sleeping. During those first months on the planet, just before we discovered that Julia worked for the Council, Bess somehow managed to grab one to sedate her - remember?"
"So what." The mechanic remained unconvinced.
"What about that day I got lost?" She blushed and tilted her head to examine her boot laces as she spoke, embarrassed by her foolishness. Frustrated by her physical weakness caused by the poison, once she'd started feeling slightly better, in her typical headstrong fashion, she'd circumvented Dr. Heller's orders and insisted on going swimming by herself. While that in itself hadn't been a bad idea, once at the pond she'd discovered a Grendler whom she'd proceeded to chase after in hopes of locating food stocks. Needless to say, the Grendler moved much faster than she had and she'd only managed to get herself lost in the process.
During her misadventure, she'd fallen and injured herself. Though she'd sustained mostly minor cuts, her weakened immune system wasn't able to combat the ensuing infection. Since her gear, which had been supposedly fixed the evening before, had malfunctioned, she'd spent the better part of the night in a feverish state, alone in the woods. Luckily, Eden Advance had been able to locate her in time to contain her infection. Yet her actions had impeded her overall physical recovery by over four weeks.
"C'mon, how would any one know that you were gonna pull such a stupid stunt?" Noticing her offended expression he added, "Sorry, I tell it like I see it. Diplomacy was never one of my skills." She softened. "As far as I can tell, the set probably broke when you fell. No big mystery there. Any other evidence?"
She paused. "No. I guess it does seem paranoid. I'm just having trouble keeping these kind of thoughts out of my head. Still, there's really no proof for either of these ideas. Maybe we'll never know." She sighed with frustration.
John leaned closer to put his arm around her shoulder, "Let's take this one day at a time, Devon. Whatever happened, we're gonna get through each day. Together."
Her breath caught in her throat as she instinctively leaned against the curve of his shoulder. It'd been over a month since his body was this close to her. Even though over two months had passed since the Terrians had healed her and her physical health was almost restored, John had treated her as if she were some fragile flower. While he hadn't been avoiding her company, he'd kept his distance, almost as if he were afraid of losing control if he came too close to her. That night several weeks ago when they'd first kissed, flames of desire immediately sparked within them. They'd almost recklessly given in to their passion.
Without dwelling on the consequences, she shifted her position to rest her back more comfortably against John's chest, and he wrapped his arms firmly around her waist. She could feel the warmth emanating from him, it was wonderful. Her instincts warned her to pull away before this led to something she wasn't ready for. But it'd been such a long time since she had a lover. Someone to hold her and comfort her. Someone she felt safe with. It'd been too long. She closed her eyes as she nestled against him, simply enjoying his nearness.
John interrupted her thoughts, "Is there any other information we can get to explore either of those possibilities? Did Julia do every possible test on you that she could think of?"
She straightened up as she remembered, "She's done peripheral scans, but she wanted to put off doing more invasive ones until I was stronger. I'll have to talk with her about that."
He objected, "Wait a minute. Don't push her to do the tests until she's certain you're strong enough."
With exasperation she turned to face him and exclaimed, "John, in case you hadn't noticed, I'm practically back to normal. Julia says so."
At that point, her face was only inches away from his. She began to breathe more rapidly as her urge to touch to him grew more intense. She wanted to run her fingers through those tangled blond curls; to feel his body pressed up against hers; to pull his face towards her so she could kiss him --- now. Looking into his eyes, she could tell that he felt the same way.
Unable to resist, she leaned towards him, closing the gap between them. "I'm not gonna break," she whispered as she impulsively brushed her lips against his.
John responded warmly to her overture, wrapping his arm about her shoulder as they deepened the kiss. Those sensations, which they'd discovered several weeks ago and had been unable to completely forget, were immediately reawakened.
However, as they began to explore one another's bodies, this time neither one pulled away.
XXXXXX
A year, it'd been almost a year since they'd crashed onto this supposedly uninhabited planet, G889. All that time spent in the company of complete strangers, many whom had now become close companions. Approximately three hundred sixty Station days since the Terrians had entered his dreams.
Had the dreaming changed him? Julia was concerned about the effects of these communications on his physiology so she faithfully examined him. Though he'd never admit it to her, he was grateful for her precautions. While she hadn't detected any biochemical changes in him, he wasn't the same as the man who'd arrived here.
He almost cringed as he recalled how he'd wallowed in self-pity after they'd crash landed in the escape pod, whining about the pain of his injured leg and stubbornly refusing to cope with day to day life. No wonder Julia'd lost her temper with him when he pleaded with her to put him in a cryochamber and cart him across the planet.
He leaned forward to glance at the woman sitting in the passenger seat of the Dunerail. The wind was whipping her blonde locks across her face, which was apparently irritating her. He laughed. Julia was quite a woman. More complex than any other he'd known. Initially, her beauty and aloofness challenged him. She'd been a conquest to be taken, a night of passion with her would've been another notch on his belt. But somewhere along the line, his attitude had changed. Julia became more than just a prize to be enjoyed for the moment. Perhaps it grew from his respect for her as she diligently treated his injuries; or maybe it stemmed from that fact that despite their adverse circumstances, Julia always did her part without complaint.
Regardless, once he'd fallen in love with Julia, all the rules had changed for him. Forever. Once he was the king of casual flings, relationships were merely a game to him. Not anymore. Suddenly he was the vulnerable one and he wasn't sure that he liked that feeling. After their first intimate night together, he'd been deeply hurt when Julia claimed that she couldn't remember a thing about the evening. When they discovered she was a Council spy, he was overwhelmed by his emotions; he felt angry and betrayed. In fact, he'd been so angry he'd been one of the first to vote to leave her behind. Yet the next day as their caravan moved on, he knew in his heart that he couldn't abandon her. He had to give her another chance.
"Nothing yet," Julia flatly relayed to Alonzo as she used the jumpers to scan the terrain.
"You all right Julia? You sound tired," the pilot asked, with concern.
She curtly replied, "I'm fine. Just impatient to continue moving on. I'm tired of all these delays."
"We all are. I don't understand it. We've been through worse than this. The weather in these mountains is better than that desert we just crossed. For once, we have plenty of sources for food and water. So why does traveling seem so difficult now? The entire group is tense."
Slipping into her professional guise, Julia commented, "It's a documented fact that the human body can respond to stressful conditions over limited periods of time. But as that time period becomes prolonged, it takes our minds and bodies longer to recover. We've been traveling so long that a day or two of rest is no longer sufficient time for us to 'recharge our batteries' - I think in our minds, we're geared up to find that pass so we can overcome the next obstacle in our journey. Once we locate it, maybe then we'll allow ourselves to relax. As you said, these delays are minor, it's just the timing. It's the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back."
The pilot nodded, "I'll agree there."
"Have the Terrians told you anything about this area?" Julia asked tentatively as she turned to glance at Alonzo. Immediately he became withdrawn, focusing his attention on their surroundings as they drove through the forest.
While Alonzo had grown to accept his unusual form of communications with the natives of G889, lately their lack of directness irritated him. Although the Terrians were sometimes blindingly clear in their intentions, other times they didn't make much sense at all. During his first few months on the planet, he'd learned that their conversation wasn't a two-way process. It didn't work that way. It irked him that certain members of their crew, such as Morgan Martin, still refused to acknowledge this. As if it were a situation he could somehow influence or change.
He took a breath then responded, "Not really. The past few nights on the Dream Plane, I keep finding myself exploring some cave. It looks just like any other Terrian cave to me. I can't figure out why they keep showing it to me."
"Have they ever done that before?" Julia asked with concern.
"Not really. I wish I could make sense of it. Since they keep repeating the image, it must be important to them, and to us." He rubbed his temple as he struggled to recall the details of the dream. Something different had happened last night, if only he could remember what it was.
"Wanna take a break?" Julia offered.
"Okay."
He stopped the Rail and the two climbed out of the vehicle. After drinking from her canteen, Julia motioned to a nearby ridge, "Why don't we hike up that way? Maybe we'll be able to see better. At the least, it'll probably have a great view." Alonzo nodded so she set a brisk pace towards the incline.
As he fell in behind her, he teased her. "You know Julia, I think you actually like all these mountains."
She smiled at him. "They are beautiful. I don't know what it is but something about them appeals to me. It's not the same as the recreational VR hiking programs I used on the Stations. C'mon!" She reached back and enthusiastically grabbed his hand to tug him along side of her.
He eagerly followed with a broad grin. Deviating from their prescribed mission, Julia was clearly doing this for him to distract him from his concerns about the Terrians. A fresh wave of love for her washed over him as he watched her shapely figure.
They tramped through the pine forest, underneath the canopy of needles towards a clearing. As Julia'd hoped, the ridge bordered a majestic canyon. Alonzo rushed towards the edge to get a better view. He excitedly exclaimed, "Julia, look! There's a lake down there."
The young doctor was close behind, "I see it. What a view." She brought up the jumpers to investigate further. As she scanned the area she bit her lip and frowned, "There's a river feeding into that lake."
"So?"
She pointed towards the left as she explained, "It looks pretty wide. It could effectively block our progress." As the doctor spoke, Alonzo knew in the pit of his stomach that she was right.
"Great. Let's hope Devon and Danziger had better luck," he grumbled. Julia continued to scrutinize the horizon with the jumpers. With a touch of irritation in his voice, he added, "You're right Julia, you don't have to convince me. That river's going to be a big problem."
She held up a hand as if asking not to be disturbed. After a moment, she grinned and exclaimed, "Look at this!" Then she transferred the glasses to him. It took him a few seconds to refocus the lenses in the direction she was gesturing to. Just north of the lake, the feeder river grew narrow. Alonzo's spirits began to revive. Now that they might be able to negotiate. Then he saw it. A pass wide enough to drive several Transrovers through. He threw his arms around Julia and they began to laugh.
XXXXXX
"Yeah, Danziger here." He stood as he adjusted the visual feed of his gear and spoke into the transmitter.
"We found it! Alonzo and Julia found the pass." Magus's image greeted him with a gleeful grin.
He paused a moment before responding, "You're kidding? That's great. Is it far?"
"Not by Rail. It may be a little harder to find a level route for the Transrover but Julia and Alonzo are checking it out."
"Great news. How are the kids doing?"
Magus answered, "They're fine. They're with Yale now. You need to talk to them?"
"Nah. We'll be back in a few hours. I don't want to wear Devon out, so we're gonna take it slow."
"Okay. See ya later. Magus out."
Danziger tossed aside the gear set as he hurried back towards Devon who was sitting on the ground, struggling to button her shirt with trembling fingers. He knelt to assist her as she pointed out, "Your shirt's not tucked in."
"They couldn't tell."
"Do you think they know?" she asked nervously.
"Know what?"
"What we were doing."
He shrugged, "I don't know. Who cares?" Seeing her wounded expression, he quickly added, "I mean, it's none of their business. You're the one who insisted we had to answer the gear. You hear the good news?" She smiled awkwardly. After he finished assisting her with her blouse, he sat down beside her and grabbed one of her hands, "You okay with this?"
Devon paused before she thoughtfully responded, "Yes. It's just...been a long time." She took a breath before continuing. Lacking her usual confident demeanor, she hesitantly asked, "Um...John, I don't regret what just happened, but can we take this slowly? Keep this to ourselves for a while?"
"Okay," he murmured, suddenly looking towards the ground.
He'd misunderstood her intention, so she pulled his hand closer to her and more intently explained, "I haven't felt this way about anybody for years. I feel a little like a teenager -- kind of awkward. With all the other issues facing us -- the kids, scouting routes, equipment failure, the Colony ship, -- I'd rather not rush into a relationship. Let's just take things one day at a time?"
"Sure," he responded more confidently. Their eyes met and he began to caress her palm with his fingertips. With his other hand, he reached forward to tenderly touch her cheek. "You feeling okay? I didn't wanna wear you out," he sheepishly grinned.
"You're terrible -- I'm fine!" she laughed. "I wanna know what took you so long," she teased, with a mischievous glint in her eyes.
Flabbergasted, he sputtered, "Me? Look who's talking - the ultimate loner in the group. "
She blushed, "I guess I haven't given you much of a chance to get closer to me, have I?"
"Damn right."
More softly, she asked, "When did you...know?"
Trying to be casual but not succeeding, he explained, "I don't know. It's been...a while. At first, I tried to ignore it; I didn't think you were interested. Me being some drone mechanic. But, after you collapsed and we had to put you in that cryosleep chamber... then...leave you behind..." He was having difficulty continuing, his emotions were starting to choke him up; so Devon leaned forward to draw him into a hug. His voice wavered slightly as he almost whispered, "Christ, I had the most horrible nightmares that I'd never see you again."
"Shh. Don't think about that anymore. That's over." She kissed the top of his head, which was pressed against her shoulder. "What's important now is that we have each other. Along with some pretty wonderful kids, and a way to get out of these mountains." Regretfully she looked towards the sky as she spoke, "Damn, I guess we'd better go soon. They're probably looking for us to get back to camp."
"Not yet. I told them we'd be gone a while. We have plenty of time. The kids are fine, they're with Yale."
She responded, "But we better get moving so we can start planning tomorrow's route."
John tightened his grip around her, not allowing her to budge. "What's the rush Devon? 'Lonz and Julia are in the best position to get that information. You know, you don't have to be directly involved in all the decisions around here. Are you that anxious to get away from me?" He smiled and stroked her hair as he teased her.
She began to relax as she held his gaze, the tenderness in his voice allaying her concerns. Rather than protest, she joked back, "Don't remind me, you're the person who made all the decisions in my absence. I practically had to steal my group back from you."
He grinned naughtily, "I don't think it's your group anymore."
She reached up to push a few stray curls away from his eyes as he pulled her face closer to his. "As to wanting to get away from you--" He leaned forward to cover her mouth with his before she could protest.
XXXXXX
Devon was lying on her cot, unable to sleep. Unfortunately, this was becoming routine. As her physical body grew stronger, her thoughts started to keep her awake at night. No matter how much she chided herself about her behavior, she couldn't keep those unbidden concerns out of her mind. It was driving her crazy. She didn't understand why this was happening to her for she'd never been one to dwell on circumstances she couldn't control. She'd considered that one of her strengths. So why was she now spending her evenings dwelling upon her fears?
Getting the group safely to New Pacifica to set up the colony, the arrival of the colony ship, and the identity of the person who had poisoned her were some of concerns which plagued her. She'd even had nightmares about them. In the most recent one, the colony ship miraculously appeared on the horizon above them. After a moment of jubilant cheering by the members of Eden Advance, the ship exploded in a sickening burst, casting debris all about.
Normally she could handle these types of situations. Any head of a multi-orbit firm knew that progress couldn't be made without venturing forth in this fashion. She'd even enjoyed 'playing the game' for her instincts were finely honed and she usually came out on top. Perhaps it was the fact that the stakes were higher now; people's lives were involved rather than simply money or jobs.
However, the fact that someone had gotten so close to her, that they had tried to kill her, had ultimately dented her self-confidence. For once she felt vulnerable. This being new territory for her, she wasn't sure how to employ damage control. She became convinced that resolving this question would help her regain her equilibrium and allow her to sleep nights.
Telling John about their theories regarding her illness hadn't changed anything, but it had made her feel better. When Julia and Alonzo returned to camp the next day, she was going to consult with the doctor about other tests which could be performed. Surely there must be some sort of microscopic residue of the delivery system within her body which could be detected by more sensitive tests. She was more than willing to undergo the discomfort of the assays, since not knowing the truth had been slowly gnawing away at her. She'd been relieved by John's firm stance that no one in the group could've poisoned her. Now, if she could just completely convince herself of it, to get rid of that nagging feeling within her.
Of course, making love in the clearing with John hadn't been part of her plans. She was shocked by her behavior, normally she wasn't such an impulsive person. While she was allowing herself to admit to her feelings for John, a physical relationship between them was best put off, at least until they established the colony. Yet, today she couldn't help herself. Afterwards, warning bells had clanged loudly within her. She didn't need more things to worry about. Her experience with her former husband made her leery of romantic liaisons. But...it had been wonderful. So wonderful that they'd made love a second time in the meadow and she half wished she'd invited him to join her in her tent that evening, since for the duration of her illness, her son had been bunking with Yale.
She shook her head to clear her thoughts - what was she thinking? She wasn't some love struck teenager - was she? She didn't want to move that fast. She had many other responsibilities to take care of.
"Mom! Mom!" Uly called as he ran into her tent and over to her cot. She sat up to hold her son.
"What's wrong,Uly?"
"It's the Terrians. They don't want us to take the pass."
She hesitated, hoping she misunderstood him. Assuming a soothing tone of voice, she asked, "What are you talking about Uly? What exactly did the Terrians say?"
He sat down on the edge of her cot, beside her. "Well, it was more like a feeling."
"I see," Devon replied as she put her arms around her son and began to stroke his hair. To calm him down, she asked gently, "Are you sure honey? I know sometimes the Terrians can be hard to understand. Why don't we check with Alonzo in the morning?"
Uly was still upset. "What are we gonna do Mom? The Terrians are our friends. I don't wanna do something that they don't want us to."
"I don't want to do anything like that either. Let's just calm down. We'll check with Alonzo as soon as we can, okay?" Judging his shaken appearance, she added, "Wanna stay with me tonight?"
He nodded vigorously and curled up beside her. After she covered him up with the blanket, he fell asleep within minutes. She held him closely, for she'd missed being this close to her son.
Had her son simply misunderstood the Terrians? Now she really wasn't going to be able to sleep.
XXXXXX
TBC