Hey guys, sorry for the lapse in updates. I've been trying to focus more on my mental health recently (needed to recover from 2020 tbh), which was probably why I delayed this chapter – it was really emotionally consuming to write lol! Thank you so much for the comments, kindness, concrit and reminders to update both here and on tumblr; I read and appreciate every word. That said, I do acknowledge that I don't address every concern or reply every query, but I do feel strongly about how I want the story to unfold, so your patience means a lot! We have many, many more chapters to get through...

Added a song to the playlist – Carried Away by Surf Mesa :)

Sending love your way, hope everyone stays safe and well.

Chapter 41: The Bridge

She missed me too.

Scorpius sat there across from Rose, trying to hold on to some measure of control as his heart battered against his ribcage. For reasons beyond his comprehension, his absence somehow mattered to her. It was gravely foolish to hope, and Scorpius knew it. And yet…

She missed me too.

Another terrible stab of delight in his chest.

Rose was right; they had a lot to talk about. But only a potent silence hung between them now. He could tell she was nervous—she leaned against the windowsill, shifting from one foot to another. All the while he merely drank her in, savouring the familiarity of her. Wispy red curls, tucked behind delicate pink ears. Silly freckles sprinkled across the bridge of her dainty nose. And then there was that freshly kissed mouth…

His face was getting hot. Enough now, he told himself.

Get a hold of yourself, fuck's sake.

Rose must have noticed him staring. Her small hands fidgeted nervously by her sides before disappearing under the gaping sleeve hems of her oversized jumper. She was chewing absently on her bottom lip, looking like she was in the middle of a complicated arithmancy problem.

A problem, of course, that happened to include him.

The past few days, at least, had provided Scorpius with some degree of clarity. His conversation with Poppy had been particularly sobering. Georgia's previous treatment of him had exacerbated his own volatile mood swings and abhorrent behavior, but he was solely to blame for the damage inflicted to himself and those around him. Including Rose. As shameful as it was to acknowledge, it had been the easiest damn thing for Scorpius to give in to destructive urges at any threat to his diminished self-worth. Always so quick to throw a tantrum, numb it down with mind-blowing sex, and douse the rest in alcohol…

Nothing had fed his feral green-eyed monster more than his own self-loathing.

He knew his abrasive nature left little room for gentleness. Even so, ever since their kiss in the library, there had been nothing gentle about the way Scorpius wanted Rose. He certainly tried, at first, to go as slow as she needed. But now, just being around her made him feel vaguely out of control.

His feelings for her had no grip on reason.

But Rose, sensible creature that she was, obviously had a penchant for doing things the hard way. She was hardly the sort to turn a blind eye on recent events. As she twiddled her thumbs now, looking lost in thought, Scorpius finally broke the silence.

"Everything alright with Langdon, then?"

Rose glanced up in surprise; she clearly didn't expect him to broach the subject before she did.

"Yeah," she said, collecting herself. "She's talking to Headmistress McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey again today. They want to make sure she's okay, and then they're going to see about reporting Crossley to the Ministry."

This news genuinely relieved Scorpius. "Glad to hear it."

Rose gave him a little smile. "Actually… I wanted to thank you. Georgia told me about what you did. It means a lot to Poppy, that others came forward too. She couldn't have done it without your help."

"Least I could do, really." And Scorpius meant it. After Langdon's sudden confession, all he'd done was take Georgia and Emery aside to explain the situation, then leave the decision in their hands. Of course, he and Georgia could hardly bear each other now, but this topic was obviously of some importance to her.

They had ended their conversation on surprisingly cordial terms.

"It's a big deal. Crossley's gotten away with this for too long—he's taken advantage of too many people. I'm just glad nobody else needs to go through it again." A dark look passed Rose's face. "Hope he gets a Dementor. Or five."

Scorpius' mouth twitched at her unusual lack of mercy. Though Crossley was certainly the last person to deserve any.

"Rose, listen," he said with some effort, trying not to fumble through his next words. "I didn't realise how complicated the whole thing was until Langdon explained it. Especially with the—Mergirl situation, I mean." The embarrassing memory of his blow-up over Fawley had returned, but Scorpius forced himself to push on. "I understand now why you wanted to wait before telling me anything. I should have taken your word for it, but I… I've never been good with trusting people. I thought you'd be the exception, but…"

Rose's expression softened, understanding dawning on her face. "But I'm not."

A sour disappointment rose in his gut. It felt like defeat, to finally confront the fact that he was possibly broken. Not just to Rose, but to himself. And that his fondness for her, despite his own hopeful desperation, had not been enough to fix him. "No," he said at last, somehow unable to look at her now. "You're not."

Rose hummed thoughtfully under her breath.

"Do you know what I like best about you, Scorpius?" she said, her words quiet and measured. "You respect everything I've been through. It was—hard for me to imagine being with anyone after the situation with Jamie, or to even tell anyone that it happened. I was just so uncomfortable, and I thought that maybe I was the one who wasn't any good. With boys or relationships. In some ways, I still believe that." Rose shook her head slightly, quashing the thought. "But it's different with you. I've realised that it's… always been a bit different with you."

It was hard to know what she meant when he could barely hear her above his hammering heart. "Different… how?"

"What I mean to say is, I don't mind." The colour on her cheeks deepened. "That you're still learning to trust me. Because you've been through a lot, too. So it might take time, but—that's okay, because I'm learning with you. I… don't know how to be with someone, Scorpius. I still don't know what I'm doing." She had gone completely scarlet now, barely able to look at him. "But I want to know… how to be with you."

Scorpius stared dumbly at her. "How to… be with me?"

Rose nodded, her earnestness so endearing that it made his insides clench. "Don't get me wrong. You're very unreasonable when you're jealous… if that's what it was. That's not something I want to learn to deal with. Not if it means having to defend myself for the things Georgia did to you. If she's always the reason you're mad about something, you're not even giving us a chance. Whatever you had with her, that's not what we have." Despite the girlish bravado in her words, there was an imperceptible tremble in her voice. "You know that, don't you?"

The afternoon light from the window had shifted, the contrast of shadows now outlining her wispy frame and cherubic softness of her profile. So happy in the sunshine, Scorpius thought absently. But so damn lovely in the dark.

As though under a spell, he beckoned to her, arm outstretched.

"Come here," he heard himself say.

Rose blinked back at him, hesitation written over her features. But Scorpius merely waited until she moved towards him and came within arm's reach. His fingers closed over her elbow, tugging her towards the sofa and over his lap. She stumbled forward, grasping his shoulders for purchase as her knees sank into the sofa cushions on either side of him. Scorpius was all hard planes and taut muscle, but Rose felt like just the opposite, loose-limbed and pliant… she melded warmly against him like she'd always been meant to be there.

His arms circled tightly around her slim waist as hers went around his shoulders, his nose buried in her hair. Just breathing her in brought a terrible sense of headiness to him. Without realising, he'd hunted beyond the familiar surface notes of citrus and ivory soap, greedy for the essence of her in more intimate places. Under her earlobe, he found the addictive salt-sweet scent of her skin, her sun-like warmth as comforting as a childhood pillow. Instinctively, he felt himself relax into her.

"Rosie." His mouth brushed against her ear; she must have felt the next words rather than heard them. "I'm sorry."

Her eyelashes tickled his cheek. "What for?"

Scorpius closed his eyes, trying to stem the shame that lapped at the edges of his heart. Surely she already knew why. For hurting her with his inadequacies, his imperfections, his selfish desire to be the centre of her world. For not being gentle. He'd accused her of seeing another man, but he was the one seeing another woman in her place.

"For starting a fight." She shivered as his fingers traced along the line of her spine. "For losing my temper at you." He tilted his head to hers, his mouth pressing over hers ever so lightly. "For everything."

"For making me cry, too?" she murmured.

Alarm went through him. "Did you?"

Rose peered down at him, a crinkle in her impish eyes. "Almost, but not quite."

She was teasing him again, as she was wont to do… but the Trevor incident returned to Scorpius in flashes then, that heartrending memory of Rose sobbing in the snow filling him with fresh regret. He could not bear the thought of her crying over anything. Least of all him. "Sorry," he repeated, pressing an urgent kiss in her hair. "Sorry."

"Scorpius." Her nose touched his, humour fading from her expression. "I'm sorry too."

"You've nothing to be sorry for."

He could feel Rose's wry smile against his jawline. "I'm sure I do," she corrected gently. "Al just informed me about how self-righteous I can be about things. I thought he was spouting a crock of nonsense at first—" Scorpius snorted at this, "but he did get me thinking. And I realised that I couldn't have helped Poppy as much as she needed if I'd just—stubbornly done this alone. He does have a point, you know." She paused, her hands coming to rest on his broad chest. "I—I would have drowned if you hadn't found me."

The topic was uncomfortable coming from Poppy, but hearing it from Rose felt doubly disconcerting. "Arnold helped," Scorpius said shortly, wanting to move on from the subject entirely.

But Rose didn't budge even as he tried to distract himself with the loose strings of her jumper sleeve. Her tone was contemplative now. "You give yourself too little credit, Scorpius."

"I don't know how else it could have happened," he snapped, sounding more forceful than he intended. "Rose, this isn't—something I care to take credit for. I wasn't doing you a damn favour. You and Langdon make it sound like I made a choice to save you, as if… I had any other option at that point. Your safety isn't a choice for me. It's fucking necessary." So much for keeping his temper in check. Scorpius closed his eyes and took a sharp breath, trying to curb his growing agitation. "If you care even a little bit about me," he continued, his voice low and hoarse, "then you won't get into these situations by yourself again. I don't even care if it's Fawley you choose to do this with. As long as you stay safe. If you ever get hurt… I don't what I'd do."

He regretted his outburst at once. Rose's eyes had gone wide, and she looked at a loss for words. Circe—perhaps he'd taken it too far this time. Scorpius faltered, trying to find a way to soften the blow of his words. But then Rose had unexpectedly shifted forward on his lap to draw him closer still. So she could kiss him.

The world rushed into a pause as her mouth pressed shyly over his. Rose so rarely took initiative with him; it took him a moment to find his bearings. Once he got past the shock, he gave in to the pace of her affections… each one so careful and sweet. Vanilla and cola, he thought distantly, parting his lips so his tongue could find hers, each warm kiss coaxing them both towards something deeper. No, there was nothing gentle in the way he wanted her… and yet here he was, every thorny edge melting into the lightness of her caress. He was obsessed with how tender she was with him, how she held him like he was something worthwhile and precious. Kissing her was like filling up on sunlight. The breathless sound in the back of her throat made him rock hard at once, a devilish heat filling the minute gaps between them… He barely noticed as his back hit the velvet seat cushions, Rose draped atop the length of him as he tugged her down over him. His entire world had reduced itself to Rose, Rose, Rose—her hot mouth, her fragrant skin, the delicious weight of her body against his…

"A lot," she whispered then, as his fingers skimmed up her pale thigh.

"What?" he mumbled, fixating his affections down her pretty jawline.

"Not just a little bit. I care about you a lot. Scorpius…" She pulled away gently, her hand rising to his cheek to guide his ravenous gaze to hers. "I like you so much."

He was so strung out that he must have misheard. Scorpius' eyebrows knotted in disbelief. He stared up intently at Rose, his blood growing loud in his ears. "Say it again."

"I like you," she repeated, the words soft against his cheek. "Don't you believe me?"

"No," Scorpius breathed, suddenly at a loss of what to do next. His swollen heart was lodged in his throat, any logic he possessed thrown out the window by the tender sight of Rose blushing above him. He felt painfully out of his element. So used to fighting tooth and nail for what he couldn't have that it was hard to accept the radical idea that—

She likes me.

The realisation eventually strung itself together, its implications haphazard and foreign, each one running rampant through his thoughts. Something shifted within him then; a curtain he didn't even know was there behind his eyes, parting to reveal a thousand tiny open windows. So very suddenly, he glimpsed endless summers in exotic places; strange beasts and odd adventures; lovemaking until morning. For one terrifying moment, a feeling familiar yet completely new swept through Scorpius… a delirious kind of happiness that he'd only known too briefly before his rage turned it into the ashes that coloured his own heart.

As he gazed up at Rose, stunned and reeling from his own imagination, a flash of doubt passed her face. But she did not burst into tears or throw a tantrum, as perhaps he would. Instead, she seemed to be considering what to do next.

Sensible, adorable girl.

"Should I kiss you more?" Rose wondered, inching closer to brush her mouth shyly over his. "Touch you more?" she continued softly, her small hands skimming up the tense muscles of his torso. So inexperienced but so bold… It was almost embarrassing how quickly his body reacted, his pulse quickening beneath her touch. Chemical and automatic.

"Imp." His voice was hoarse now. "Don't tease me."

"I'm not teasing you." Her eyes were intent on his now, even though she was blushing so hard he could feel the heat coming off her face. He loved this about her—how damn stubborn she was being about her own inexperience. "Tell me what to do. Please. I'm new at this."

"I'm bad at this," he returned, with some difficulty. "I'll make a mess of it."

Her eyes softened. "You won't."

"I'll disappoint you."

"You won't." And the understanding Scorpius saw in her face made his heart ache something fierce. She could tell, surely, how much it meant to him, that she was the one reaching for him first… and how desperately afraid he was that she would take it away. She had no map for the damage inside of him, and yet she somehow managed to navigate her way into a heart wrangled by old wounds, its phantom aches still tenderly present. No, Rose could do nothing for those parts of him. That was his to handle, his ghosts to exorcise.

But she chose him all the same.

He reached out then, wrapping his arms around her to lock her against him. "I adore you, Rose," he whispered. "So much that it scares me."

He felt her smile against his cheek as she relaxed slightly. "I'm scared too," she said softly, drawing back to brush his pale hair from his forehead. There was a sigh in her next words. "Scorpius. You're the only one I'd do this with."

Their gazes met, and Scorpius felt the last of his stubborn defences melt at the sight of her so sure and sincere. Despite everything. Despite him. It was hard to remember what happened next, only that he had moved swiftly from beneath her, repositioning himself on the sofa so his larger frame could encase hers as they met in an urgent, heady kiss. This time, however, Scorpius was intent on claiming more than her mouth… an almost feral desire had built up within him to prove she was his. To himself and to others. He wanted something of himself on her, all over her. Rose's breath skipped as he tugged her loose jumper off her shoulder.

"Scorpius—" she breathed, as he leaned in and licked a stripe up her neck.

He was desperate to be gentle, but he was also dying to savour her.

As Rose whimpered beneath him, his mouth found the throbbing pulse on her neck. He nuzzled the tender spot, his fingers tightening over Rose's wrist as she squirmed… the sweet pressure of her soft curves against his erection so dizzying he could barely think. Scorpius pressed a string of heated kisses into her skin, his tongue teasing a languid pattern into each one. Rose hummed in protest, her short breaths hot as his hand cradled her neck, his hungry mouth finally sucking at the column of warmth there. Determined to mark her, to satiate the devious streak of possessiveness that ran hot through him. But Rose wasn't having it, a gentle thumb brushing his cheek to get his attention.

"Not where they can see," she murmured. "Scorpius, we're the only ones who need to know. The rest of them aren't important. It's just you and me."

Not where they can see. Not comprehending her meaning, Scorpius' manic gaze raked over the length of Rose's neck. Her throat visibly working as she arrived at some unsaid decision. Then her hand came to rest on the top of her chest.

His mouth went dry.

Rose had unbuttoned the top of her jumper, the fuzzy fabric slipping past the tips of her freckled shoulders… revealing the delicate slopes of her pale collarbones… then dropping further past a pink cotton bralette, the pristine flesh of her small breasts rising and dipping with her stuttered breaths. The sight of her this way was almost too sensual to comprehend; his entire being was suddenly ravaged with an all-consuming hunger. Rose's eyes flitted up to his face then. She looked shy but determined and just—so damn fuckable he could hardly bear it.

"Just for you and me. Okay?" Her gentle hands were firm on the sides of his face, but he could hear the uncertainty in her voice, and that was enough to knock some clarity into his fogged brain.

Go gentle on me when the time comes, won't you?

Rendered wordless by arousal and disbelief, Scorpius half-nodded, pushing her back into the cushions and leaning in, his mouth swiftly finding her collarbone. It took everything in him to go slow, but he stayed the course, nipping and tasting, a blush following each kiss towards the hollow of her clavicle. Rose made an adorable sound beside his ear, tickled by his hot breath against the cooling trail of kisses. Scorpius lifted his head and kissed her then, delicious and deep. His hands wandered, desperate to map out every part of her… to memorise every naked slope and curve allowed to him.

Rose made a soft sound of protest when he pulled away, her plush lips swollen from his bites. Fuck, she was so hot… Trying to school his breathing, Scorpius fumbled for the buttons on his shirtfront. He wanted to feel her skin against his. Rose watched him with hooded eyes, her breath hitching as he lowered himself over her once more. As his bare torso met her heated skin for the first time, he made a low, roughened sound in his throat and buried his head in her shoulder. Not enough.

"Want you so much," he murmured thickly, feeling drunk on affection.

A fond smile touched her lips, and Rose reached up to kiss his jawline. "I want you too," she confessed quietly.

She had embraced him beneath his dress shirt, her gentle hands moving to stroke the broad, muscled planes of his back… No longer able to hold back, Scorpius returned to kissing her, his palm working under her jumper, drifting up her stomach and coming to rest over her breast, squeezing the tender flesh there as she moaned against his mouth. Not enough. His erection pressed insistently against her inner thigh as his other hand pushed up her knee to hike up her skirt… unable to resist an experimental roll of his hips against hers. He couldn't hide the growl of pleasure in his throat as she arched instinctively beneath him, both of them trembling at the growing pleasure between their hips. Not enough. Not enough.

A fleeting thought came to Scorpius then, of making love to her right there and then. It was not the first time he'd ever considered this—he was, after all, a healthy, robust male who had been celibate far too long… And Rose, for all of her innocence, had already been part of too many unspeakable shower fantasies. And yet, despite the fog of desire poisoning his veins and thickening his cock, some sensible part of him knew Rose was far from ready.

Not enough.

But he had to be the one to slow down.

Abruptly, he sat up on the sofa and dragged Rose back onto his lap. She squeaked in surprise as he smirked up at her… taking a moment to relish her kiss-flushed cheeks and the wild tumble of red hair over her naked shoulders. He made her this way. Delectably pink all over, brimming with a newfound physical awareness that seemed to overwhelm her. Slowly, he reminded himself, swallowing his growing longing as their foreheads touched.

"Scor," Rose said softly, as he brushed her hair from her cheek. She had never called him that before.

He already loved it.

In response, his slender fingers skimmed under the edge of her skirt, caressing her pale thighs as he pressed a reassuring kiss soundly into her neck.

"Let me," Scorpius murmured against her ear, shifting his attention to a spot on the edge of her bralette. His darkened gaze flickered to hers, as though waiting for her permission… when Rose merely buried her nose in his hair, he lowered his head and kissed her there. She squirmed within his arms, but he merely tightened his hold on her as he continued to suck, his mouth hot and languid over the sweet curve of her breast… biting and nipping at leisure before soothing each sting with his tongue. He only drew away to observe the love bite, his heart skittering when the redness of the mark intensified with Rose's deepening blush… her shy kiss hidden under his ear.

A slow smile tugged in the corner of his mouth. She was precious.

No words were said between them as he pulled her jumper back in place, the love bite tucked away beneath the fabric. Rose stayed surprisingly still as he buttoned her up, his fingers slipping into her hair to comb through her frazzled strands. After a moment, Rose reached out for him in kind, doing up the front of his shirt with nimble fingers. Such a simple and intimate thing. Scorpius sank back against the sofa as he watched her, completely captivated as she moved to straighten his collar, her keen attention to smoothing its creases putting a bout of fresh flutters in his stomach. His expression softened when their eyes met.

I want this. I'll always want this.

His hand came up to cup her face.

"We're not breaking up at graduation."