Chapter Four

Karen Roe was starting to worry about her son. Usually he spent the weekend with his brother and team mates at parties and playing ball. However, Lucas had been in his room all weekend. She knew there had to be something wrong, and after sitting and debating whether or not to ask him, she soon found herself knocking on his door.

"Lucas?" she called.

He quickly hid the journal he had been reading all weekend under his bed, and grabbed a tennis ball. Lying back, he began throwing it up in the air and catching it.

"Come in." he called back.

Karen wandered into the room and took a seat at the foot of his bed. At first she didn't say anything, only looked around the room taking in its appearance remembering how it use to look when he was younger. Lucas looked down at her.

"Are you okay sweetie?" she finally asked, her voice full of concern.

"I'm fine mom." He replied and continued throwing the ball up into the air.

Karen took a moment before she continued her questioning.

"It's just you've been in here all weekend, not that I mind you being at home, it's just, did something happen at school, something with the team?"

"Mom I told you I'm fine, I'm just a little tired is all."

Karen knew there was something he wasn't telling her, just like she knew there was something wrong in the first place.

"Are you sure? You know you can talk to me, about anything."

"I know mom." She patted his knee as she got up, knowing that he would talk to her when he was ready, she was almost at the door when he spoke again.

"Mom?" she turned to her son. He paused as if thinking whether or not to continue.

"Did you ever wish that things were different? I mean was there ever a time when you felt like you were meant to be somewhere else, a different life?"

"Honey everyone feels that way at least once in their life. You just have to realise what it is you want, and go for it." Lucas thought about what she said.

"Thanks mom."

"No problem." She said closing the door behind her.

He reached under the bed and pulled out the journal, staring at it in his hands. He had read it all, and he felt guilty for doing so, but also glad that he had. He had finally found someone who understood him. Taking what his mom had said, and what he had read in the journal, he got up with determination to find some paper. He was going to change everything, but he didn't care, anything would be better than the lie he was living.

Haley got to school early on Monday morning. She needed to catch up with her journal, after missing the last two days. It felt strange not pouring her life out into her journal, but all would be well once she got to her locker.

Lucas arrived at Tree Hill High very early that morning, he wanted to make sure he knew which locker the journal was from. He hid in one of the empty classrooms across from where he had originally found it, and waited for someone to show up. From the last couple of entries in the diary he knew who the owner was, he just couldn't put a face or name to girl he remembered. Why hadn't he been listening to her name when Mr Knightley had told her to stay after class? Because he was living up to his reputation as the guy who didn't care. It was after reading her last entry that Lucas knew he had to change, and for the better.

Of all the people you would expect to waltz into the library and pick up a copy of Steinbeck, Lucas Scott, with the exception of his brother and the rest of Tree Hill High royalty, was definitely not one of them. Why on earth would the most popular guy in school pick up a book, let alone come into the library. Yet as unbelievable as it seems, part of me understands. Surrounding yourself with that many people, having everything you've ever wanted, it must leave you feeling kinda…empty.

After reading those words, Lucas finally began to realise why he was feeling the way he was. It was then that he decided to do what he had done. In his hands were the journal, and an envelope. Looking up from them he saw her.

Haley opened her locker. Everything was where she had left it, only she couldn't see her journal. She dropped her bag on the floor and started pulling her books out of her locker, checking each one as she went. Soon the entire contents of her locker was on the floor, and as it was getting late, students had to walk around the books that had accumulated in their way. She started putting everything back into her locker, checking the books once again, she had no idea where her journal was. She checked her watch, she just had enough time to check the library before class.

Lucas watched as the girl he remembered pulled everything from her locker. He kept out of sight, and once she left, he walked to his locker. Nathan, Peyton and Brooke were already there.

"Where were you this morning?" Nathan asked.

"What?" he asked placing the journal in his locker before any of them could see it.

"I stopped by your place this morning, your mom said you left early."

"Yeah, I just headed down to River Court." Lucas said putting his books into his bag. He noticed how easy it was to lie to them, it had become a regular occurrence lately.

"Man you think about basketball almost as much as me." At that they all headed off for first period.

Half an hour later, Lucas used the bathroom excuse, and snuck out to the lockers. Stopping at the janitor's storeroom, Lucas fished the money from his pocket and exchanged it for a scrap of paper. Opening his locker, he pulled out the journal and the envelope, and headed for the girl's locker. Looking to the scrap of paper he entered her locker combination, and quietly placed both the journal and envelope inside, sneaking back to class.

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