Chapter One - Another Town Tradition in the Making
"Jeez, Taylor, do you honestly think that I'd sign and then LIE about it?" Luke screamed.
He had been arguing with Taylor on and off all morning over Taylor's newest project: a town play, right in the middle of the square. And though Luke hated the idea, there was nothing he could do to object justifiably. Until Taylor forged his name on the list of 'volunteer participants'.
" Get OUT! I'm not taking any part in another one of your ridiculous town traditions," and before Taylor could object, he added," And that, my friend, is final."
Taylor opened his mouth to argue, but seemed to think better of it. With a frustrated sigh he turned and walked out of the diner, while Luke returned to filling coffee mugs.
"Coffee, please."
Just when he thought the morning was doomed to be a miserable one, he heard her voice.
"I won't contribute to your death," he replied as she followed him around.
" Oh, I see. But you can contribute to theirs? Hey Kirk, how do you feel about Luke contributing to your death? How bout you Andrew?"
" Sit down, Lorelai," he held back a smile as he ignored her interrogation of his other customers.
" Anywhere?"
" Anywhere." She smiled and walked to an occupied table.
" Would you mind moving?" she joked, while they stared at her in disbelief.
" Ah, Jeez. I hate when you do that," Luke grumbled as he directed her to an empty table.
" Oh, but Luke! You said anywhere..."
" Sit here-"
" And you'll get me my coffee?"
" No, I won't be contributing to your death, haven't I made that clear?"
" You will if I pay you," she bantered.
" How bout you don't pay me, and you try tea? Maybe some fruit?"
" Or I can pay someone else to kill me... but really, I'd like it to be someone who can look good doing it. And those employees over at Weston's... Not so attractive, let me tell you..."
"Will decaf work?" he asked, ignoring the fact that she just insinuated he was attractive. He smiled at the thought.
"Does it ever?"
" You've never tried it."
" Luke, you are incredibly stubborn today. Death. Now. Please. And look pretty while you're doing it..." she flirted.
" I don't do anything looking pretty," he argued.
" Oh, of course you do. Don't be so hard on yourself. Like that one time, when you were fixing my dryer and I made you try on that-"
" If I get you the coffee will you shut up?" he asked, knowing the answer.
" Only if it comes with a danish," she answered as he walked away. He returned with her coffee and a danish as she clapped excitedly.
" Finally. I mean, really Luke. If you keep up these games, you're gonna lose your favorite customer..."
" I don't believe that for a second," he replied, and went back to his work.
A minute later, Taylor was back.
" Out, Taylor!" He screamed, walking towards the door.
" Really, Luke. I don't see how you run a business treating people the way you do.." he sighed.
"- Exactly what I was saying, Taylor!" Lorelai butt in.
" Well, thank you Lorelai, I'm glad to see that someone else-"
" She was kidding. Now get out!"
And once again, he was gone.
"What was all that about?" Lorelai questioned.
" His new project. The town play. He signed my name on that stupid volunteer list thinking he would trick me into taking part..."
" Yeah, really.. Who would sign your name! We all know you'd never..." Uh-oh.
" I would never sign that. I hate plays..."
" Oooh! Rant! Three, two, and ONE!"
" They're long, they're boring. And it's not like we can't see it on film now anyway. Then the fact that we all KNOW each other. Like hey, look at Kirk up there, acting as though he's a brave, undefeatable hero.. When in reality, we all know he sleeps with a damn nightlight. What's the point?"
" I resent that, Luke. Mother got rid of my nightlight atleast two months ago," Kirk said, then returned to his breakfast.
Lorelai giggled at the mention of Kirk's nightlight. " And he's hardly a hero. Remember when he tried to save Cinnamon from that tree! No offense Kirk!"
Luke stopped his rant and actually smiled at this. " Exactly."
" Now that you're in a good mood. I have something to tell you that's gonna make you hate me again."
" What's that?" Luke asked distractedly. He was staring at the window where Taylor was arguing with Miss Patty.
" You know that volunteer list that your name just happened to appear on?"
" You mean the one that Taylor's been shoving in my face; the one that he forged my name on? What about it? "
" Oh nothing. It just wasn't Taylor who signed your name," she said acting nonchalant as she finished her coffee.
" KIRK!" He screamed, turning to the next table where Kirk jumped a mile high.
" As much as I would love to put the blame on him, no. It was Lorelai Gilmore," she admitted, waiting for his reaction.
" WHAT!"
" Yeah, I know! What was that Rory thinking!" she joked.
" Lorelai..."
" I knowww. I'm sorry Luke, I thought I told you already. Apparently, not."
" What- when- why would you sign me up for a PLAY? Was it some kind of practical joke!"
" Noooo. But I signed up. And I couldn't go and do this alone, could I? Of course not. And since Rory's not here, I decided you would be perfect."
" In who's world am I the perfect person to participate in another town tradition in the making?"
" Do you have to ask? Mine, obviously.."
" Okay, bad question."
"Are you mad at me?" she gave him a sad face.
" No... at least I got myself out of your mess."
" What?"
" Atleast I -"
" No, I heard you. But you can't back out!"
" I already did."
" Luke! You signed up!"
" No, YOU signed me up."
" But-"
" No."
" But-"
" No, Lorelai."
"Don't tell me this won't be fun. What about spending time with me couldn't be FUN!"
"The part where I'm taking part in a play organized by Taylor."
" I can't believe you don't wanna hang out with me."
" Don't do that."
" Do what?" she said, knowing exactly.
" That. That face. That thing where you make me feel all guilty."
" I have no idea what you're talking about. I just can't believe that after I went through the trouble of arranging time for us... to have fun, and do something different, outside of our normal coffee provider/junkie relationship, and you just want to ruin it all..." she rambled, embellishing the entire situation.
" Jeez, Lorelai, why didn't you just ask me out?" he teased.
" WHAT!" she stopped her ramblings immediately and felt her face turn red at the grin he was giving her.
" Well, I mean... all this talk of wanting to hang out with me, to have fun with me.. Outside of the diner.." he went on, surprised but pleased with how uncomfortable she was growing. But then he saw her eyes light up.
"Are you insinuating you want to do something dirty with me, Luke? Because I was just hoping to have someone to embarrass myself with in front of the town. But if you wanted something else... and are trying to trick me into it-"
" Ah, Jeez. You win okay? I'll do the play. Stop making a scene."
" Making a scene? I'm not making a scene."
"Then why is everyone staring at us?"
" Probably because you wanna do something dirty with me... outside of the diner of course. Don't worry, people. This place is sanitary. He wants to do it out of the diner..." she was really having fun with this.
"If I give you more coffee, will you leave?"
"Why, are you gonna follow me out so we can do something dirty?"
" You're not letting this go are you?"
" After I oh so expertly turned the table on you? No."
" When does this play thing start?"
" Meeting tonight at Miss Patty's. Be there at 8."
" What if I'm not?"
" I'll have to come find you, but I'll bring someone with me. So that when I do, you can't trick me into doing something dirttttttty. I mean, that's the only reason you wouldn't show right? To trick me into looking for you, so you can get me all alone.. Outside of the diner."
" You really have to stop."
" Why, am I making you uncomfortable? Or am I turning you on?"
" You're just getting too much enjoyment from the idea of doing something dirty with me. And last I heard, you had a boyfriend."
" My cue to leave. Thanks for helping me kill myself."
" Anytime."