Title: Choose Your Reality 5?
Author: Sorceress Fantasia
Warnings: AU, slight angst, spoilers for YGO's ending, minor OCs, humour, fluff and sap
Disclaimer: Yugi belongs to Yami who belongs to Yugi who belongs to Yami who belongs to Yugi who belongs to Yami... Ahem, so you get the idea. Anyway, I do not own Yugioh. I own only this plot.
Intro: They say that for every universe that exists, there is another universe that runs parallel to it. But when Yami discovers that, he also finds himself faced with two Yugis: one who sees him as his best friend, and another who loves him more than life itself.
Note: Inspired by a short (one-shot, in fact) manga by Watase Yui, who is also the author of 'Fushigi Yugi' and 'Ayashi no Ceres'.
"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?"
"I'm sure, little one. You have work to do, don't you? I'll be fine."
When Yugi frowned, Yami sighed amusedly.
"Yugi, I'm just going to get some groceries. What can happen?"
"Faint?" the younger one suggested almost nonchalantly, raising an eyebrow.
Yami had the grace to flush, but he quickly recovered. "It's been two months, Yugi."
"Yes, but you still get dizzy spells sometimes."
Yami flushed harder. He quickly said, "I promise to be back as soon as possible, and if –that's a very big if- I feel unwell, I'll call for help. Really."
Finally, Yugi nodded with a sigh. "Just remember you have Kaiba-kun on speed dial in your cell phone. I just programmed it last night."
It was still a little difficult to accept that he was on such good terms with Kaiba in this world, but Yami nodded. He wouldn't make it out of the front door of their house if he didn't, he noted inwardly. Yugi had always been a fussbudget, and ever since returning home from the hospital 2 months ago, Yami learnt that those fussing tendencies had gotten a lot worse. It was nothing Yami couldn't handle though, and in fact, he secretly reveled in the extra attention his lover was paying him. In the beginning, at least.
Then, Yami noticed that Yugi was still staring at him.
"Well then, I'm off," he said, kissing his lover soundly before leaving.
"Be careful out there!" Yugi replied, waving him goodbye at the door.
Yami thought he heard the door to their house slammed shut only when he rounded a corner, and he frowned. As much as he enjoyed having Yugi's extra attention, there was a thin line between fussing over someone and being smothering. So even though the grocery store was only a short walk from the kame game shop, Yami thought that the little bit of time alone would be good.
Something was really off with their relationship.
When he had been yearning for Yugi, back in the other world, Yami had noticed a constant emptiness in his heart which his aibou had once filled before dating Anzu. It was a dreadful feeling, to know who could complete his life and yet could do little to get Yugi back by his side.
Then, all of a sudden, Yami found himself in a new world, and Yugi was head over heels in love with him. While he loved Yugi, he soon noticed another emotion welling up inside of him: discomfort. And once the initial ecstasy had worn off, Yami could only feel the discomfort growing. Perhaps it was a discomfort that stemmed from being tied down suddenly, a lack of freedom and having another person in his life. It was just like when he had first became Yugi's partner and best friend, but also quite different. But he really couldn't be sure. Was that the reason? Where did the discomfort come from, really?
Yami knew Yugi felt something wasn't right either. For a relationship that had been going on for 6 years, there were no other plausible reasons as to why they suddenly experienced instances of awkward silence, among other things.
And the worst thing? Their mind link wasn't working. Or rather, they had no mind link at all. They had panicked and tried to feel each other via their links for a whole day before giving up, jokingly blaming it on a temporary network problem, and that it'd be back to normal soon. But it never did. Yugi had been desperate enough to call up Ishizu in Egypt, but the woman had no answers for them. In fact, she had been just as confused as Yugi, and completely unable to comprehend the possibility of a yami and his hikari losing their mind link.
A tiny, irritating voice inside his head told him quite gleefully that whatever the problem was, it was probably a lack of a real sex life. After all, they did have quite the collection of lube and condoms, and they hadn't used any since Yami returned home from the hospital.
Yami frowned. It wasn't that he didn't want Yugi; rather, the problem was that he wanted Yugi too much, and he had no idea how to go about wanting his lover. Whenever they engaged in heavy petting, heavy enough for their clothes to go flying, Yami would freeze up at the important moment and at Yugi's questioning looks, he would try to divert Yugi's attention, but it always ended up in awkwardness and nothing else. Well, that and a lot of sexual frustration. Once or twice, he had pleasured Yugi with his hands and mouth, but it wasn't enough and Yami could tell. So eventually, their heavy make out sessions stopped in intensity, and lately, stopped completely. He even tried to claim that he had dizzy spells so he could get out of their make out sessions, but it was such a far fetched explanation after the first few times. After all, it /had/ been two months since his hospital stay.
He sighed.
Suddenly, he caught a whiff of something familiar and he blinked hard. Shaking off his depressing thoughts, Yami peered to his left, and just as he expected, a lone sakura tree was standing there in the field. It was a really strange place for a single tree to be growing.
Ignoring his trek to the grocery store for the moment, Yami deviated off his path, as though answering someone's summoning in a trance. The little bubble of happiness grew bigger when his eyes fell onto a carving on the tree trunk. He raised a hand to caress it, feeling the rough wooden surface under his fingers.
There, on the trunk, was a love umbrella. There was one in this world too? Had he carved one for the Yugi of this world too?
Yami took a closer look. It was his. His love umbrella. The one he had carved after leaving left their friend's gathering for the sakura festival, the day when Yugi had been too absorbed in Anzu to even notice his existence.
No, to be fair, it was the other Yugi. The Yugi in the other world. The Yugi who smiled and called him his best friend, but never his lover. The Yugi who did not love him, and never would.
And Yami felt his heart wrench in pain, but with it came a realization.
How was the other Yugi doing without him? Did he miss him? Did he notice that Yami was missing? Or was he still off gallivanting with his girlfriend?
Yami shook off the last thought. It wasn't fair to say that about Yugi. The little one was in love, and being in love... tended to make one lose sight of other things. And Yugi had spent most of his dates with their mind link sealed shut. He didn't want to bother Yami with his frivolous feelings if they spilled over, he had said so jokingly. But with their mind link kept shut so frequently, Yami could only feel his hikari drifting away from him more and more everyday. Still, Yami had no idea what he would do if Yugi's love for Anzu did spill over. Would he go crazy?
In the end, he found himself understanding Yugi less and less. There were just too many empty spaces in their relationship that he could not grasp, could not understand. He was never given the chance to.
But even so... even so, Yami couldn't help but love the boy who had held out his hand for him in the darkness, couldn't help but love the boy who had saved him and given him a new lease of life.
He loved Yugi. He loved Yugi more than life itself.
So where was he? Away from the one he loved the most. Away from Yugi. The Yugi waiting for him at home, in this world, wasn't really Yugi. At least, that Yugi wasn't the Yugi he had known throughout all these years.
Then, suddenly, he heard Yugi's voice, resonating and trembling deep within his millennium puzzle. And the voice was so, so sad. Yami thought his heart was going to bleed in pain at the utter hopelessness in that voice.
'Yami! Yami! Where are you? Please answer me! Please come back to me...'
His aibou... his Yugi... was calling for him? Was asking for him? A wave of relief rushed into his heart, along with a feeling of being needed again. Yami closed his eyes, willing for the puzzle to strengthen their mind link so he could see or at least feel Yugi's aura. The shadows in the puzzle fizzled for a moment while they got used to powering up again, just like a rusty steel trap that hadn't been used for far too long.
When they finally did get to work, an off-focus image started to appear in Yami's head before sharpening to show Yugi's back. The little hikari was sitting alone on his bed, head bowed and shoulders shaking. He was clearly not happy, his silhouette giving off an aura so miserable Yami could almost feel it, even when he was so far away in another world.
It was almost... how Yami had felt when he was trapped in the puzzle. Shrouded in darkness, wrapped in shadows, and not being able to see a single beam of light. There was only despair, regret, and... hopelessness. Yami's eyes darkened, hands gripping his puzzle tighter.
'Yami... don't you want me anymore? Aren't I your aibou? Please come back... I'm sorry...'
Yugi wrapped his arms around his body to stop his trembling, but he only trembled harder.
At that sight, Yami could not help but feel guilty. Perhaps he had jumped too quickly to conclusions. Perhaps he had wronged Yugi. Yugi had never abandoned him. Not in the way he had thought, at least. There would no reason for Yugi to feel so distressed about his disappearance otherwise. And hadn't he been Yugi's best friend for years before? Hadn't he been the one Yugi ran to whenever the little one encountered problems, or whenever he wanted to share his day's experience? Yami had always been the one he ran to, be it a storm raging outside their house or a decision to buy a certain present for their friend's birthday. Yami felt a smile, one he had almost forgotten and the one he always reserved for Yugi only, tugging on his lips.
He wanted to call out to Yugi, his aibou, that he was alright. He wanted to tell Yugi, his best friend, that it would be okay. He wanted to kiss Yugi's tears away. The powers of the millennium puzzle started to flare to life.
But it was at that moment when he felt, rather than saw, Anzu appearing beside Yugi. She frowned deeply, as though she could also feel Yugi's pain, and embraced Yugi from the back, resting her head near his nape. While Yugi's anguish did not dissipate completely, Yami could feel it easing and when it did, Yugi turned around to return the embrace. Yami immediately shut off their mind link again with a snap. The powers in the puzzle dimmed and fizzled away.
Yami gazed at the love umbrella he had carved all that while ago again. Yami and Yugi, forever. Despite his best efforts, the carving was amateurish; it was sloppy; it was plain. But the words he had carved were truer than any diamonds in the world, more sincere than any flowery words, more heartfelt than even a soul's most sincere song. The carving was Yami's heart laid out for all to see.
However, the image in Yami's mind, the love umbrella Yugi had carved for Anzu, the one that carried the words Yugi and Anzu forever, was superimposed over the one he carved. Yami smiled bitterly, feeling himself fall against the tree.
"Is... Is Anzu still that important to you? Even if I'm not around, she can ease the pain in your heart, help you solve your problems, and she can save you? Even if I'm not around...?" – Yami chuckled self-deprecatingly –"You may be upset now, but one day, you'll realize that life goes on anyway, with or without me. And you'd still have Anzu by your side. You won't need me anymore then. You won't need me anymore..."
Suddenly filled with the need to escape, Yami pushed himself off the blooming sakura tree and turned back for his home. He stumbled at first, mind numb from revelation and heart heavy with pain, but his running soon turned fluid, and then mechanical. His mind went blank.
He did not even notice when he started to cry.
Yami had little idea how long he had been out, and had even less idea of how quick he was back. Instead, all he knew was he needed to get back inside and see his lover, to feel his lips under his own, to feel his arms wrapped around his back. He needed to feel Yugi.
After a short fumble with his keys, Yami forced the door open, and it ricocheted when it hit the wall. But Yami was already dashing into the house, searching wildly for his lover. Somehow, he couldn't find his vocal cords, couldn't make them work, couldn't shout for Yugi. And the thought never even came into his mind. Instead, he could only tear through the house, ramming every door open, shoving everything obstructing him out of his path.
When he found no signs of his lover in the first floor, he sped up the stairs to their room, faltering once, twice, but always pushing himself off the ground with his hands and quickly dashing off again. Finally, he was at the door, and he tried to push it open but failed. Yami growled low, immediately fumbling with the knob only to find the door firmly locked.
"Yami? Is that you?" A voice inside the room yelled. "Give me a moment!"
That was all the time Yami needed to calm down enough to hear the harsh and hurried 'Bye, Jou! I'll call you again' Yugi said. Then, the door opened, and there was his lover, looking bewildered and confused.
"Sorry I took so long, but I was on the phone with Jou and I didn't expect you to be home so soon..."
Yugi's explanation was cut short when Yami pulled him into a tight embrace.
"...Yami?"
Yami choked, unknowing of the tears that were coursing down his cheeks.
"Just... just let me hug you, Yugi. Just let me feel you..."
It took a while for the message to sink into Yugi's startled mind, but when it did, he wrapped his arms around Yami's shaking shoulders. He paid no attention to the tears that were trekking down his own cheeks.
And the phone lay quietly in the bed, as did everything else in the house.
Hours later, the tears had finally subsided, and the couple was sitting together in the dining room and drinking hot chocolate.
"What happened, Yami?" Yugi asked softly, setting down his mug on the table and gazing wistfully at the older teen.
"I'm not sure..." Yami paused, staring at his interlocked fingers with clouded eyes. "I was on my way to the grocery store, and I saw a sakura tree, and... it had a love umbrella on it. With our names on it."
"Yeah, you carved that for me the day before you got into the hospital."
"When I looked at it, I... I thought I heard you calling for me. So... So I came back," Yami finished. He felt the weight of Yugi's gaze, and he finally looked up to see Yugi's faint smile.
"You thought I was calling for me? Maybe. I've always called for you whenever you're not by my side, whenever I can't see you."
Neither mentioned that their mind link was still not working. Yami did not mention why their mind link was not working either, but he already knew the answer.
"And I've always needed you," Yami replied.
Yugi smiled bitterly, averting his gaze, and silence reigned for a long while. Finally, Yugi looked into Yami's eyes again.
"Really? You know, I was on the phone with Jou earlier, and I was just telling him how you don't touch me anymore," he said, ignoring his lover's surprised gawk. "What's wrong with us, Yami? It wasn't like this before."
"I..."
"Do you still want me, Yami?"
"Of course I do! I just..."
"Then show me. Show me that you still want me."
Yami bit his lips.
'Yami... don't you want me anymore? Aren't I your aibou? Please come back... I'm sorry...'
He closed his eyes, and his decision was made.
Standing up, Yami crossed over to the other side where Yugi was seated, and with an intense look, lifted Yugi into his arms like a bride. They gazed into the other's eyes, and when Yami saw what he wanted in Yugi's violet orbs, he left the dining room and turned up the stairs. During the short walk, Yugi remained quiet, and the only sounds were Yami's footsteps.
Yami kicked the door to their room close.
Yami never noticed that Yugi snored, as soft as it was. But now, with the little one snuggled against his chest, barrowing into his arms, sated and soundly asleep, Yami could hear the faint snores clearly. It was the first time he could remember lying in bed with Yugi like this, wide awake while the other was asleep. When they stilled shared a body and later a room, Yami was always the one who fell asleep first. Then, he moved out of Yugi's room, and there weren't any chances for him to look at Yugi sleeping anymore.
Apart from that first, it was also the first time they were both completely naked under the sheets.
Yami blushed lightly when he looked over to the nightstand, where a tube of strawberry flavoured lubricant and a used condom were lying. Quietly, he took the tube of lube and carefully screwed the cap back on. They had been too anxious, too eager earlier to keep the lube properly. Once he managed to put the cap back on, Yami put the lube back onto the nightstand and allowed his arm to drape across Yugi's bare shoulders again. He smiled gently when Yugi made a soft sound and snuggled closer.
'Yami... don't you want me anymore? Aren't I your aibou? Please come back... I'm sorry...'
That sentence was still echoing in his sound.
"Yugi... It doesn't matter anymore. You have Anzu to be there for you..." Yami whispered. Despite his resignation, however, a chill suddenly grabbed him from within. The warmth quickly came back, however, when the body in his arms snuggled closer. He peered down at Yugi, who was fast asleep and snoring lightly. "Right... it doesn't matter anymore. This Yugi is the one who loves me. You don't... at least not in the way I want you to."
"It doesn't matter anymore."
-tbc-
A/N: I admit that this chapter can be a trying read cuz I'm not always very clear on which Yugi I'm referring to. And even when it seems clear, some of the 'Yugi' here refers to both of them. However, that serves the purpose of showing how Yami is mixing them up himself. So now the angst is here, let's see what the next chapter will bring. It's gonna get more angst-y from here... with some fluff near the end.