Hey guys! Here's an emotionally charged one shot I wrote last night randomly!Please enjoy

Dear Gohan,

I'm writing this because I have to stop texting you. I have to stop. You won't reply. You can't text me from beyond the grave...but maybe you can read this.

Do you remember our first camping trip?

How old was I then? 8 or 9?

At first I was so excited to be out there, away from the city. My jaw fell to the floor as I saw a new world, like the ones in my books, untouched by the androids.

We talked by the river at sunset. You told me about your father and I can still remember that smile you had, forcing back tears. You changed the subject when you turned your head to look around and said we should go to sleep, but it wasn't that dark yet.

Remember when I was terrified of that snake in the bushes too? And when I went to sleep that day, I clinged tight as I could to you, scared of the noises of the various animals and insects near us?

You made me feel less frightened by talking to me and I got used to the noise.

When I woke up that morning, you were already awake, meditating by the river. I thought you hadn't noticed me there looking at you. I didn't understand what you were doing, and like the stupid kid I was, and still am sometimes, I tried to throw a rock at you, but your ki made it crumble.

I thought you'd be mad and I said sorry, but you still smiled. Then I asked what you were doing and if I could do it too.

Meditation is hard, I learned. Still is.

You made it look effortless.

When I meditate now, it usually fails.

I can't get it out of my head.

You and mom were probably the same.

Remembering everyone who died in such a way.

You know, its been 3 months, 23 days and 2 hours since you died.

Why do I feel nostalgic for times that weren't even so long ago?

Do you remember that morning?

My life changed forever and yours ended.

I'm not sure who has it worse.

We ate pancakes. My mother made them.

You talked about how your grandpa was and your mom too.

I hate that we didn't know what would happen later on.

I hate that we went out.

I hate that I never told you I loved you that day.

Are you filled with regret? Do you wish you hadn't knocked me out?

Would you still be here?

Would I be here?

I'm sorry. I keep asking like I'll get a response.

There's still that childish, stupid side of me that has hope you will reply to me. And I know I should always have hope because you taught me to, but I'm just so cynical these days.

This is good though. I'm getting these feelings out. I have to do it now. I'm deleting your number after I send this.

I have to let go.

It's for the best.

I still want to look back on our messages and stuff though, I don't care if it hurts.

But then am I really letting go?

I want to remember you the way you were before I found you dead.

I want to remember that warm smile and soft eyes. I wanna remember all the hugs you gave me, almost crushing me in those strong arms. I want the pats on my head and the "You know I really love you" and the times you'd sneakily lift me up from behind to tease me embedded into my memory. I want to remember you stifling your laughter when I'd do something embarrassing. I want to remember how you read to me, so quiet, yet so powerful, with a silly or serious voice to fit every character and how you'd lean over my desk when I'd ask for help in my school work. I don't want to ever forget the moments you were tough on me in training, in teaching me a lesson when I did something bad, nor when you were gentle with me and patient, running your fingers through my hair and pulling me close as I hid under the covers because I was scared from the sound of the thunder from outside.

And I so desperately want to forget the you I was faced with that day.

I was so light-headed I was sick, still coming down from my Super-Saiyan high.

Remember I made you sick from my cooking? It was awful, but you ate it anyway to spare my feelings. You weren't mad when it gave you food poisoning.

You were a far better cook than me.

I loved going to the orchard to pick apples with you. Next year, I'm going to make some pies in your honour, and hope that they are 10% as good as the ones you could make. I'll give one to your mother, but I'm somewhat reluctant because I don't want to

a) upset her by reminding her of you

Or

b) have to face her criticism on my atrocious cooking.

Hey, remember Videl?

I finally figured out why you wanted to hang with her so much.

You loved her.

She came to the funeral. I think she loved you too.

I'm sorry for being jealous of her. I didn't understand back then, I just thought she was trying to take my spot as your best friend.

Would you have married her?

I think so. I remember once, you told me you wanted a daughter. You wanted to name her Pan after the Princess in our favourite book. Your mother nagged you so much to get married and start a normal family, but I guess she forgot that we no longer live in a normal world.

I know you always wanted to be a scholar. It isn't your fault you got dragged into all this, but in some ways it was useful. Your sacrifice saved so many, including me, so never feel like it was all for nothing.

Am I angry you left? Yes. As much as I love you endlessly, there's still that little resentful part of me that longs for you to be with me so I wouldn't be left alone to feel the way I do.

You left me to hurt. My limbs are proof of that, as well as my eyes.

Yet, you left me with a gift too.

Not just Super Saiyan, but also to understand loss and what I'm fighting to protect.

I won't ever forget that.

In my dreams, I always try to save you and it never works.

I have these relentless nightmares of that day. Distortions of the real event, but close enough to hurt.

The closest thing I have to really saving you is to save the ordinary people that need my help against the androids.

I'll avenge you. I promise it. I'll bring peace, even if it takes my dying breath like it did to you.

Did dying hurt at all? I've been close...but, you looked somewhat at peace. Maybe it was just my imagination.

Yes, it must have been, they were brutal and you deserved none of it. I'm sorry you had to suffer. I'm also sorry for all the shit you had to put up with in your life, including me. Oh, and sorry for swearing.

If you really are reading this from beyond, I'm sorry for being awkward and writing all this out, I don't know why I'm crying either.

How do I even end something like this?

I'm not even talking to you, technically, so does it matter?

No, no, this is my last goodbye.

I know I said it was my last goodbye at the funeral, but it just couldn't be.

I doubt this will be my last either.

At some point I'll think about you again.

As if I'm not always thinking about you.

It's like...I could be doing anything and then it takes something small and I'm just there again, standing right over your corpse in the pouring rain and I feel dizzy and my heart goes at a million miles a minute.

I wish it would just stop.

Honestly, the sound of loud rain is enough for my anxiety to be triggered.

Ugh, here I am, going on about these things, I'm not even making any sense!

Look, all I wanna say is...

I love you so much, bro, really I do, Gohan.

There is nothing more I want right now than to hug you again and tell you that personally.

But I can't.

But just know that in this world or the next, I'm always gonna be grateful for having you as my master, big brother and best friend.

With love and hope,

Your little bro forever,

Trunks Briefs