Taken

Chapter 8 (Kaguya's Perspective)

Seeu-san had been around more lately. There he was, right in front of me. He would never be really comfortable with me around, I guessed, but there he was all the same. He was probably only doing it so I wouldn't feel so lonely. He'd figured out that he didn't actually have to touch me, just be around where I could see him and sometimes talk to him. Half the time he didn't even answer me, but did that deter me from talking his ear off? Please.

I liked to see him there mainly because he was another human I could relate to, but something else was creeping up inside me that made me think it was more than that. I liked to look at him even on those rare occasions when I had nothing to say. I liked to look at his milky, unmarred skin, or what little of it I could see. He kept pretty covered up all the time, which, come to think of it, was kind of strange for a person who'd been alone so long and hadn't had to worry about anybody seeing anything. I liked to look at his long, red tresses, so carelessly strewn over his shoulders and back when he lay on the couch with his back to me. It might be described as blood red, it was that bright, but I could not think of anything less fitting for Seeu-san. I preferred to think of it like roses.

"You're really handsome, you know it?" I said to the air. Or to Seeu-san. Same difference.

"No, I don't know it," he replied, uncharacteristically stringing more than two words together.

"Well, you are. Now you know." I replied. That was the end. No answer was forthcoming, so I dropped it.

He was actually incredibly handsome. He was downright hot. I felt my eyes sliding over there toward him every chance they got, whenever nothing was happening and he couldn't see me staring. Once I noticed I was staring, though, it didn't seem right. I wasn't sure if he would mind or not, if he had noticed, but I didn't think that was what was bothering me. I felt a little guilty, but I had never felt guilty just for looking at someone before. I was too shy to look at anyone from school like this back when I had lived in Eden- and when had I started thinking of it as Eden? Maybe I had changed more than I thought since I came here.

I had felt something like this before, I knew it. This feeling of wanting to reach out and touch his hair, of imagining how soft it would be, I had felt it before. Someone else's hair had had that allure, along with other anatomical points of interest. I didn't have to think to know who that person was; it was Bambi-chan. I felt for Seeu the same kind of attraction as I had for her. It struck me how they were both so beautiful, but in completely different ways. He had angular, sloping planes in his face, his back, his shoulders, and everywhere, as far as I could tell. He was tall and thin like Bambi-chan, but didn't have her gentle, graceful curves. At least, I didn't think so. I hadn't seen quite as much of him, so I couldn't really say, but it didn't look like he had the sleekness of her figure. There was a complete role reversal when it came to the eyes, though. Seeu-san's eyes were the serene, gentle ones, whereas Bambi-chan's were sharp, intelligently hard, gleaming marbles. Her soul was fiercely beautiful, just like her eyes.

It was weird, this feeling I had about Seeu-san. Even though he looked so soft and gentle, he was capable of much more than lying on the couch all the time. The first time I'd seen him, he'd been fighting someone else who also wanted to take me away from Eden. He had commanded Gold, but had also used his own strength in the fight to secure me. He could kill, and maybe he had. I didn't know what had become of that man after Seeu-san had sent Gold and me to Telene. How many had Seeu-san killed? Probably not many, seeing as how he was alone in his castle most of the time, and maybe none at all. He had been in a war, though, Bambi-chan had told me. Three hundred years ago, Seeu-san might have been very different.

In spite of what my first impression of him had been, by now, after I didn't know how long seeing him in this vegetative state, I could hardly imagine him doing much of anything. If I had ever tried to fantasize about the attractive man I lived with, all I could come up with would probably have been him just laying there, allowing me to touch his hair. Not that I ever tried- that would have been rude and he probably wouldn't have let me anyway. I never thought in that vein long, though- not about him. There was something at the back of my mind telling me I shouldn't. Whenever I started thinking thoughts like that about Seeu-san, I thought about Bambi-chan. Somehow I didn't think she'd be pleased if she knew I was ogling Seeu-san. It wasn't like she necessarily felt that way about me or anything… I mean, maybe, but… how did I know? She probably didn't. Why would she want me? Just… maybe she did, though. I didn't want to ruin whatever we had, even if it was only in my mind.

Did we have anything? I did call her Bambi-chan, instead of using 'san' like I would for a stranger or acquaintance. I think 'san' just made her feel uncomfortable, though. It didn't necessarily mean as much to her as it did to me, since her language might not have terms like that. There were those times I thought I caught her looking at me… I bit my lip. That didn't necessarily mean anything either. I might have been imagining it. Maybe she was just plain looking in my direction, nothing special. It didn't mean she felt anything. Did it? I had tried to tell her with my eyes that it was okay to look, that she didn't have to turn away when I saw her, but she never seemed to get the message, and I was too shy to say it out loud. If I said that out loud and revealed how I felt, it might turn out that she wasn't looking at me like that and I'd feel horrible.

Did I wish I'd told her? I wasn't sure. I wanted her to know, but I didn't want her to know. If she didn't find out, there could never be anything between us, but if she did… anything might happen. She might be grossed out and never speak to me again. In Eden, it depended a lot on where you went- two girls together would be accepted some places and persecuted in others. Suppose Bambi-chan thought it was bad? Even if she was okay with other people doing that, though, it didn't mean she wanted me, and she still might not have ever been looking at me in the first place. Worst of all, though, she might just go with it because I wanted her, and not really want me. She might just not care, and float through it without really enjoying what I could offer her, if I had anything to offer in the first place. I didn't exactly have any experience with this kind of thing… with boys or girls.

Seeu-san left for awhile… I didn't remember why. It was around lunchtime, so maybe he went to get lunch. Maybe he was cooking that soup we had all the time. I didn't know where he was, but I was bored without him, and I went for a walk. That's all it was supposed to be. Just an innocent walk to liven up my mundane day. I got up from the sitting room where Seeu-san and I usually lounged between meals and went out toward the gardens. The doll-parts were cleaned up and it all looked sort of normal again, although a bit wintry, since Seeu-san didn't take care of it. I didn't do anything with it, either, so I guessed I was just as guilty. The gardens weren't very pretty, all tangly and not watered or fed, but at least I was outside. I just wanted to breathe a little fresh air awhile.

I walked through the gardens, drifting pointlessly with no destination in mind. I vaguely thought I should get back in time for lunch, but even that thought didn't form firmly in my head. I was getting so lazy there with Seeu-san that if I ever had to go on the run again or got sent home to Eden and had to go back to school, I'd be sunk. I shrugged mentally and just kept walking. It wasn't hot out like when I'd walked with Bambi-chan back on Telene, and there was pavement here, however obscured by foliage growing out of control. I still got a little nostalgic, though, thinking it had been fun out there hiking and eating wild veggies all summer. I even blushed when I remembered all the baths I'd taken with Bambi-chan. The evenings had been the best part of the days.

Gold followed me out, still living, or functioning, anyway, in the background, following orders to protect me when Seeu-san wasn't around. Somewhere along the line he had been brought here after me. I didn't pay much attention to him; he wasn't usually even around whenever Seeu-san and I were together, which was most of the time. I wonder where he went all those times. Did Seeu-san order him away, or did he just not feel like staying when he didn't have to be there? Had we made him feel unwanted? Could he feel?

He crossed in front of me and said something. I couldn't hear what, since he whispered it as if there were someone there and he didn't want them to hear. Of course there was no one there, but instead of asking him to be louder, I just tried to get closer, knowing he probably wouldn't talk normally if he thought it was dangerous. I never got a chance to hear what he wanted to tell me, though. It was probably a warning, because what came next definitely could have used some warning.

A fiery meteor flew down out of the sky, falling so fast I could barely tell it was there before it had landed. "Gold!" I screamed, suddenly not seeing him. The meteor was right in front of me, smoking, and I had a sickening feeling that under it lay Gold. I tried to make my way around the ball of hot rock to see if I could find any sign of him, but when I looked up to see the source of the calamity, all I saw was a solitary figure standing on the high garden wall. The sky didn't seem disturbed, and to my baffled senses, it seemed the stranger on the wall had sent the offending stone.

Just as I opened my mouth to shout a question, I was overwhelmed. The figure approached me at breakneck speed, and as I managed to choke out her name in the form of a question, Bambi-chan materialized a mere two feet from me. She had sent the ball of fire that had crushed Gold? All the questions on my tongue fought each other to burst forth, but it seemed only Gold, head barely visible beneath the meteor, understood me and instructed me to go. With his last breath, he told me to go with Bambi-chan, someone he seemed to have distrusted so much before. Maybe he understood more than we thought. I listened, only capable of focusing on that one command, go, and fainted into Bambi-chan's arms.