When it's time for lunch, I meander down to the Operations Bullpen. As much as I like my current office, there's just something about my old office that gives me a warm fuzzy feeling. It wasn't all sunshine and roses down here, but this is where I fell in love with my wife and there's nothing that can top that.
Still I can't help thinking how things would have been different if Leo had picked me to be his successor. Matt wouldn't be President. He'd be opening Health Clinics in Houston. Donna wouldn't be Chief of Staff to the First Lady. Heck, there wouldn't be a First Lady because Arnie Vinick would be President. And Donna and I. . .
Well, who knows? I'd like to think that we're inevitable. But how would we have gotten to this point? Would Donna still have quit if I'd been promoted? If not, would it have taken us even longer to figure out our feelings? As much as I hated our time apart, I think it did us some real good. I don't think I'd have ever made a move while she was still my assistant.
And even though some of our friends thought I'd propose the minute the Bartlet Administration ended, I don't know that I'd have been ready. If I'd even been around. Look what the job did to Leo.
Of course, I can't help but wonder about Leo. If Matt hadn't run, Leo wouldn't have been campaigning either. Maybe he'd still be alive. One decision, so many ripple effects. And we never really know what the consequences of our choices will be. Sometimes we just have to take a leap of faith and hope for the best.
When I get there, Ginger isn't at her desk but Sam's door is open, so I pause for a minute to watch him.
I'm so glad he came back to work here. I truly considered it a personal favor. I don't think I'd have been able to do this without him. And for him to stay for the second term has been above and beyond. I know he's been approached by the D Triple C to run again. I doubt he knows how much I appreciate his sacrifice. But that's about to change.
After a minute, Sam pauses, then looks up from what he's reading.
"Josh!" He greets me with a cheery grin. "How long have you been standing there?"
"Not that long."
"Well, come in! You're the boss, you don't have to sulk around the doorways." He chuckles. "I'm surprised Ginger let you get away with it."
"She's not there. Probably down at the mess. It's lunchtime."
"It is?" He asks, his brow wrinkling in boyish confusion. I swear sometimes Sam looks exactly like he did a decade ago.
"It is. And speaking of which, are you free? Want to join me?"
"Sure!" Sam gets up, grinning. "Where should we go?"
"My office?"
"Fine dining establishment as it is." Sam laughs.
"Margaret'll get us something from the chef." I assure him.
"You really know how to charm a fella." Sam teases. I'm glad to see him in such a good mood. I think we're all feeling it, now that it seems certain that our major piece of legislation is going to pass.
He's still smiling as we walk into Margaret's alcove. "Hey Margaret."
"Hey Sam." She greets him with a grin before giving me a slight glare. "What are you having for lunch?"
She considers it her personal duty to make sure that I eat something healthy relatively close to noon. I occasionally put up a fight just for show, but really between her and Donna, it's just easier to submit.
I'll have that salad with the grilled chicken and apples. With that raspberry dressing." I inform her smugly. Sometimes it's fun to fight and sometimes it's fun to surprise her by giving in without a fuss.
"That sounds great." Sam agrees. "Can you make it two, please?"
Margaret gives us both a smile and a quick nod. As she picks up her phone, I head into my office with Sam on my heels.
"Close the door behind you." I tell him as I make my way over to the sitting area.
Sam lifts an eyebrow, but does as I ask.
"Okay. What's up? You're acting a little weird."
"No, I'm not."
"Josh, I've known you for almost twenty years." Sam starts, then stops and stares at me for a moment.
"What am I doing?"
"I don't know. But you're throwing off a weird vibe."
"A vibe?" I tease him. "You were in California too long."
"Hardly. I was there for 4 years. I've been back here for 5. I've now officially spent more of my life on the East Coast than I have the West. I don't think you fully appreciate what I'm giving up." He volleys back.
And that's the perfect opening.
"Actually, I do. That's what I want to talk about."
"What?" Sam retorts in confusion at my sudden change in tone.
"I want to make sure that you know that I do know what you've sacrificed to be here. I know you were making an obscene amount of money at the firm. Not to mention the weather. And being closer to your Mom. Especially now that you've got a family. And I know that I haven't always made this job easy on you. You've been an incredible right hand man. I couldn't have asked for a better partner in all this."
"Josh," Sam breathes with a pleased smile, "we're brothers. Of course I've got your back, but why do I feel like the other shoe is about to drop?"
"Well, I need you to do something for me."
"Whatever you need."
"I need you to jump off a cliff."
"What?!"
"It's just an expression. That's what President Bartlet said to Leo and CJ when he asked them to be Chief of Staff."
"Josh, I'm not following."
"Sure you are. I'm asking you to take over. I'm going to give Matt my resignation. I want you to take my place."
"Josh-"
"Come on, Sam. You had to have seen this coming. I'm constantly trying to skate out of here, trying to get home to be with my family. I'm irritable and grouchy when something keeps me late. And instead of living for the fight, I'm just looking to get it over."
"You've been an incredibly effective Chief of Staff. Seriously. President Santos has passed more significant legislation in his tenure than any President since FDR."
"That has more to do with him than with me."
"No way Josh." Sam insists. "Sure, he's got some good instincts but you took a three term Congressman, and made him into the leader of the Free World. And you shepherded his agenda from start to finish. You've been remarkable. And we still have three years. Think of how much more we can accomplish!"
"That's why I want you, Sam. I wouldn't trust anyone else to keep this momentum. You and Matt have a great relationship and I know that together you'll continue to do great things. But I'm done. I need a break."
"There's no way to talk you out of it?"
"I wish you wouldn't try."
"Okay. I guess I owe you that. You gave me a break after I lost the 47th. But that doesn't mean that I'm never going to come knocking on your door. I'm going to need your support to do this job, and sometime in the future, I may need you to do other things."
It's as close as I've heard Sam come to mentioning the idea of another Congressional run, and even though I don't plan to run his campaign, I'll definitely want to be a part of it.
"Fair enough."
"Okay. But anyway, you know this isn't really up to you. President Santos might have something to say about all this."
"Yeah, I know. It's not going to be an easy conversation. But once he accepts my resignation, he'll realize that you're the only logical choice to take my place."
. . . .
Sam and I laugh through lunch, exchanging stories about the kids and reminiscing about our own youth. He also promises to have Ainsley call Donna and set up a card night. It's been too long since we did that- this Health Care bill has been all consuming.
After Sam leaves, I take a few minutes to review my notes for my afternoon meeting with Matt. I'm sure he's doing the same in the Oval right now. It gives me a little pang to think about giving this up, but it's quickly replaced by a vision of my kids' faces lighting up as I walk through the door. It's not that I hate this job, but I just can't give it the full attention it requires, not without giving up more than I'm willing to.
Knocking softly on the door as I push it open, I call out, "Mr. President?"
"Come in, Josh!" He immediately responds, giving me a quick grin as I walk through the door.
Then he stands up and walks over to the wing back chairs and takes one. In this moment, I really appreciate the gesture. He could stay behind the Resolute Desk and have me brief from in front or even sit in a small chair next to him, but he's created the habit of having us sit across from each other when we have these meetings because he wants an even exchange of ideas when it's just the two of us, and these chairs facilitate an equality. I hope he continues this with Sam.
"Before we get started, I have a personal matter." I begin, as I pull an envelope from my pocket.
Matt's eyes darken for a minute and his lips purse. He knows exactly what is about to happen. I feel a small pain in my heart. This really isn't easy.
"Sir, it's been an honor and a privilege working for you these past five years. You've been everything I hoped for when I asked you to run and we've accomplished more than anyone ever thought we could. But I think it's time for me to step down."
"Josh, we aren't done yet." Matt answers softly.
"You aren't. And Sam and the rest of the team will serve you well."
"So that's it? That's your resignation? We aren't going to talk about it, you're just going to give me a canned speech? I thought we were friends."
His words have a little bite to them, butMatt doesn't seem angry, Maybe a little hurt. That makes me feel bad.
"Well, we can talk about it now, I suppose. But you don't seem particularly surprised."
"Josh, we're together 80 hours a week. You think I haven't noticed that you want to be home with your family more? I remember what that's like- don't you remember that's why I was going to quit Congress."
"Yeah, I know I talked you into this instead. I'm not really sorry about that. Look what you've done."
"What we've done! You said you'd do this with me."
"Are you going to hold me to that?" I stand up and pace a little, the guilt weighing down on me.
"No, I'm not." He answers, his voice resigned. "Helen warned me about this."
"She did?"
"Yes, after you almost missed the first day of preschool. She warned me that if you ever actually missed anything you'd probably spontaneously combust. And she told me that I'd better start preparing for the idea that you wouldn't last the whole second term."
"Your wife's pretty smart."
"She sure is. But we thought that the four of us would be having this conversation over dinner one day. I don't think either of us expected it to be so sudden and so formal."
"Well, I am sorry about that. I wasn't really planning this myself and maybe I could be handling this better, but the time just feels right. The Health Care Bill is about to pass, I can help Sam with the transition, and we can make it official for the new year."
Matt nods and I feel a little of the pressure in my chest release.
"So you recommend Sam?"
"Of course. There's no one else that will serve you better and I wouldn't go if I didn't think he was ready and willing. But of course it's your decision, if you need me to give you more names to consider, I can do that, but really, Sir, it should be Sam."
"No, I don't need more names. I trust your counsel, Josh."
"Good." I try to hand him my resignation, but he waves it off.
"Not yet. Like I said, I value your counsel. And I still want to talk this out."
"Ahkay."
"So, here's what I'm thinking. Sam becomes Chief of Staff. And together the two of you find him a good deputy, maybe even two so he can delegate a little more than you did. After all Bartlet's not that old and I don't want to be doing this again in a year."
"Okay, that seems reasonable."
"Sam will take over the Chief of Staff duties and you become "Special Counselor to the President."
"What?"
"I'm not ready to let you go yet. You can work from home. Instead of being my gate-keeper and briefing me on everything, you'll just handle special projects. You'll keep your security clearance so you can be briefed on anything important, and then we can still talk about the big stuff. What do you say?"
"I don't know. I think I need to talk to Donna about it."
"Good idea."