*4 weeks later*
Abbey and Jed are waiting for us on the front porch as we pull up to the house, causing Lulu to squeal and bounce in her seat.
"I see them! I see them." She shouts, grinning at Josh and me. "Jonah! We're at the farm. We're gonna see kitties, and horsies, and maybe a snake!"
"Hopefully no snakes." Josh mumbles under his breath.
I agree. "Probably not. It's starting to get cold."
"Thank God for small favors."
Once Josh unbuckles her and opens the door, Lulu bounds towards them yelling, "Grandpa! Grandma!"
"Hello sweetheart!" Abbey greets her. "Look how big you are!"
"I'm four now." Lulu tells her matter of factly, just before throwing her arms up in a silent demand to be picked up and hugged.
Abbey grins as she complies. "I know. Did you have a nice birthday?"
"Yes. I took muffins to school and they sang to me! And then after Mommy got home from work we had cupcakes and I got a bike but it was too dark to ride it so I had to wait until the next day so we could go to the park. And I got a pink helmet from Bubbe because you have to wear a helmet when you ride a bike even if you have training wheels. Right, Daddy?"
"That's right." Josh agrees, as he gives Abbey a quick one armed hug.
"And let me see that baby." Abbey insists, sitting Lulu down in the porch swing next to Jed, then joining them herself. I plop Jonah into her lap and he gives them both a gummy smile
"Oh, they grow so fast." She sighs. It's been over three months since they came to DC, ostensibly for a concert at the Kennedy Center, but also to meet Jonah, and twist a few arms on Health Care and a lot has happened since then.
"He was 15 pounds at his four month check up yesterday." Josh proudly informs her as I pull out the phone to take a picture. They look so picture perfect all sitting there in their chunky fall sweaters.
"I weigh TWICE as much as him!" Lulu declares, just as proudly, earning a grin from both Abbey and Jed.
"Well you are twice as big." Jed tells her fondly.
"I'm four YEARS old and he's only 4 MONTHS old." Lulu points out. She's very proud of aging up a year and likes to remind everyone as often as possible.
"Well shall we go inside and find some lunch?" Abbey inquires once I finish snapping pictures.
"Yes, please!" Lulu shouts as she jumps off the swing. Jed gets up slowly with the help of his cane, while Josh, Abbey, and I watch him carefully.
Once he's steady, he shuffles towards the door. "Come along. I've got chili going and I think it's ready."
"Should we bring our bags in here or are we out at the guest house?" Josh asks, gesturing back to the car.
"You can grab them." Abbey tells him. "I've got the kids in the adjoining rooms upstairs, and you too can take Liz's old room. Zoey and Charlie are taking the master out in the guest house, with Ellie, Vic and Tori upstairs. Annie and her girlfriend might end up out there too, if they stay the night."
"Girlfriend?" Josh stammers, "what happened to Neil?"
"Well, obviously that didn't work out." Abbey laughs. "But Katie is very nice."
"She has purple hair." Jed announces. "She's very vivacious."
"Well, ahkay." Josh responds. It's kind of nice to see that nobody's really blinking about Annie's change in status. Or maybe it's not a change at all, it's really none of my business. I just know that if this were happening at my family's thanksgiving it wouldn't be pleasant and I'm really glad we're here where it's not a big deal.
Josh grabs our suitcase and bags from the trunk while Lulu and I follow the Bartlets into the house.
By the time we're done washing our hands in the powder room, Josh is making his way upstairs to drop the luggage off.
"I'll be back down in a few minutes. Don't wait on me." He suggests.
"Look! It's me and Jonah!" Lulu exclaims when we walk into the kitchen. Sure enough, there on the fridge is the photo of them dressed up as the Princess and the pea for Halloween.
"Isn't my dress pretty Grandpa Jed?" Lulu asks rhetorically, not waiting for his answer before hugging herself and spinning.
"Yes." He agrees anyway. "That was a cute idea."
"I thought so too, although Josh may be regretting it. I think he's had to read that story every night for the last month."
"It's a good story, Mama!" Lulu insists.
"Yes it is," Abbey agrees, "now can you please take your seat so we can eat."
. . . .
After lunch, Josh takes Jonah upstairs for a nap, and Jed takes Lulu into the living room to play a game, leaving Abbey and I a chance to talk while we clean up the kitchen.
"So, Josh is on Paternity Leave? Abbey inquires. "How's that going?"
"Honestly, I wasn't sure what to expect. Before it started, I alternated between thinking that he would be fantastic and imagining an unmitigated disaster. Then I'd feel guilty because I do have faith in Josh. And if anyone's earned a break from politics it's him. You know what I mean?"
"Yes, but that doesn't really tell me how it's going."
"It's amazing. He gets Lulu her breakfast and helps her get ready for school while I get ready for work. He's even learned how to french braid! I've always known he was more capable than anyone ever gave him credit for."
"So what's the problem?"
"It's not really a problem per se. It's just that I could really get used to this. But I also think that he's such a brilliant political thinker that it would be selfish of me to want to see him home baking cookies instead."
"Ah." She pauses for a minute. "Is that the only reason you're hesitant?"
I'm not really sure where she's going with this, so I just shrug.
"You know, when the girls were really small, Jed was a Professor and I was new in my career. He went a couple years with a reduced course load, and did a lot of work from home. And while I loved it and it was best for the girls, there were people that said I was selfish, that as a woman, I should be putting my family first and not making my husband sacrifice his career. And I think there was a part of me that worried that him being home meant that I wasn't as good of a Mom as I should be."
Okay, yeah. Maybe I do worry a little about that. But I try not to.
"But you know what I discovered?" Abbey continues without waiting for a response, a determined look in her eyes. "That's bullshit! Don't let anyone ever make you feel like it should be your career taking a back seat. You two are great parents, whether you both work, or Josh takes a turn staying home for a little while. You are raising fabulous kids and you've got nothing to feel bad about."
"Thanks Abbey. You know, Josh actually did tender his resignation but President Santos wouldn't accept. He asked Josh to stay on as a special counselor, and he insisted Josh take 12 weeks before he made a final decision. So this Paternity Leave is a trial of sorts, so Josh can decide what to do."
"Ah. I understand. So you've got Josh trying to prove to himself and you that he can do it. Meanwhile, you're not sure whether you should want him to do it. And the leader of the free world doesn't really want him to do it. Have I got that right?"
Her summary makes me laugh aloud. "Yeah. That's pretty much it. And I think Josh is close to turning Matt down, but he really hates the thought of disappointing anyone. So I think he is hoping that Jed will tell him it's okay."
"Well, then let's go find the two of them and see if we can't sort this all out."
. . .
We find Josh, Jed, and Lulu in the family room. Josh is putting a dvd in the player for Lulu so I know he's thinking the same thing as I am, that it would be good to have this talk before the rest of the family arrives.
It only takes a few minutes before we're settled in Jed's office, and I have a flash of deja vu from when the Bartlet's mentored us during the Transition. Our weekly dinners with them really helped us prepare for our careers, married life, and raising kids. I'm so thankful for all they've done for us.
"So . . . just like old times?" Jed starts, seeming to have the same feeling as I do. "What's on your mind, son?"
"I'm resigning as Chief of Staff." Josh blurts out.
"I see." Jed responds gently.
"Ever since Jonah was born, I've had a hard time going to work. I'd find myself wishing I wasn't there a lot. And anytime there was a little break, I'd find myself wondering about the kids and wishing I was home with them. And at the end of the day I would regret how much time I was away. Even passing the health care bill didn't seem as sweet as it should . . . because I know how much it cost my family."
"Ah, so this isn't just paternity leave?"
"No, it's a test run. Sam is the Acting Chief of Staff, and he knows I won't be resuming the role. But Matt would like me to stay on as a Counselor to the President. And I don't want to let him down.
"Josh, you've always wanted to be the guy the guy counts on, and you have been. You're not letting anyone down by doing what's best for you and your family."
"But how do I say no when my President is asking me to serve?" Josh asks somewhat plaintively.
"Well, you weigh the pros and cons. And you follow your instincts. There's upside and downside to every decision and you just make the best choice you can. That's true for Presidents too, you know. Look at some of the choices I made. CJ was a real risk, but Leo was right when he said you were the future of the party and we couldn't tie you to the White House forever. And look how well that turned out."
Josh smiles a little bit at that. I know he and Jed made peace a long time ago over Josh getting passed over as Chief of Staff, but it's still nice to hear that it wasn't because they thought he couldn't handle the job.
"See that just makes me worried that I'm letting the entire party down if I don't stay on." Josh chuckles ironically.
"Well that's not what I meant. Let me ask you this- it's been four weeks, right? What's it been like? Does Sam call every day for advice?"
"No, Sam's been doing great on his own. I knew he would. We've only talked about work at little bit on the weekends while the families are all together. It's been nice."
"What about the President?"
"We've had lunch twice. And we had dinner with them last week. He ran a couple things by me just to get another perspective, but it wasn't a big deal."
"So if it stayed like that, you think you could handle it?"
"Yes, but I'm worried that it wouldn't stay like that. Counselor to the President is a real job. And if I take it, it would be a lot more time consuming than what I'm doing now. And I have to be honest, I really like being home full time. I don't want to go back to working even 40 hours a week."
"Well, then I think you have your answer. And you know, it doesn't have to be a real job for you to keep your security clearance. Leo never came back on the payroll officially. He only came into the White House when he wanted to."
"And you think that would be enough? If I didn't take the job, but if I was still around a little just to help?"
"Yes, Josh. I think that would be enough. I think Matt and Sam would appreciate having you as an occasional sounding board, and that your wife and children would love to have more of your time. And I know that I'd still be just as proud of you as I am right now. Not just because you've been a loyal public servant, but because you're a good man and you've always done the right thing."
Josh beams at Jed. I think that's exactly what he needed to hear. And I think once we sit down in the residence with Matt and Helen and tell them what we've decided, they'll understand why Josh is turning down the job. After all, some things are more important.