Sometimes
By headupintheclouds
Sometimes I think about him. It's not that I mean to or anything, it just sort of happens. Merlin knows I'd give anything to be free of it. Neither Ron nor Harry have said anything about it, but I think they know. The other day, after I'd corrected one of Harry's essays, Ron was poring over it, copying it dutifully onto his own parchment. After a bit, he looked up, confused, and asked "Draco?"
I glanced over at Harry's parchment and realized my mistake: the paper was about the Dragon Emancipation Act of 1327 (which was later repealed in 1576), and instead of writing 'dragon,' I'd written 'Draco.' I tried not to think about the flush steadily creeping up my cheeks, and quickly corrected it. They both gave me odd looks, but continued on.
I was surprised that neither of them suffered from an outburst- especially Ron. Ever since we started dating, he'd been especially sensitive about him. At first it didn't make sense, but then I realized that since Draco and I work together as Head Boy and Girl, Ron was jealous. I thought it was ludicrous, but then outlandish things started happening.
Draco stopped talking to me. At all. We share a common room, so it was terribly obvious that he wasn't saying a word to me. Not that I preferred the daily 'Mudblood' greeting, but it's just strange. I would ask him questions, and all I would get in response would be a vague grunt, or partial nod. Snape even tried to make us work together in Defense Against the Dark Arts, and took off twenty points from Gryffindor because he wouldn't speak to me. He gave some kind of twisted explanation, but I think he was just getting back at me for knowing what moonworm is (an animal which can be thrown at an enemy's wand, and will twirl itself around it, sort of engulfing the wand and making it useless).
Anyway, it became a sort of game to me, to get him to talk. And he was in the lead, by far. I don't think I've heard the sound of his voice, directed at me solely, in months. They say the opposite of love is indifference, so that's what I began to think of his behaviour- as indifference.
Not much later, he began to intrude into my thoughts. Not purposefully, of course. Draco Malfoy is no telepath. But he would just pop into my mind at random points. To tell you the truth, I didn't mind. What I did mind was that it distracted me in class. I was falling from top of the class into second.
That was the other side effect- Draco threw himself mercilessly into his studies. I am a studious person, but there wasn't a minute that I spent studying that Draco couldn't match and exceed.
But today was a Hogsmeade trip day, which me and a silent Draco had planned so tediously. I'd decided that today would be the day that Ron and I broke up. I was being dishonest. I didn't intend to, but I was leading on. I'd been doing it for months.
When I thought about it, today was a horrid day to do it- about a week before his birthday, and a Hogsmeade trip.
But I intended to do it- If I put it off much longer, I would surely lose my nerve. I told myself over and over that it wasn't for Draco, that Draco had nothing to do with it. But he did. All too much.
Anyway, we walked down to Hogsmeade, me and Ron. Harry hadn't gotten a date (with Gunny Weasley, specifically), and had decided not to attend. He didn't mean to be mopey about it, I know. But he was. He was an absolute wreck/nightmare/what have you.
We were walking out the gates, and Ron grabbed my hand. I let him. I felt guilty about it, I swear, but I figured that he may as well have a nice time until it happens.
I talked it out in my head- it wasn't as if Ron never looked at other girls. This was probably just as much of a game for him as me.
"What to do today, 'Mione?" he asked cutely. I'm not afraid to admit it- Ronald Weasley is cute. But in a kiddish way. The nickname had come about a month or so into our relationship: I despised it. But I managed to grin and shrug.
He looked at me seriously. "Why so quiet?" he asked seriously.
I couldn't look at him, couldn't answer. He slowed to a stop, pulling me with him as I tried to push on.
"We need to talk- you need to talk," he said quietly.
"I- I don't," I said, unconvincingly.
You don't love me, do you?" he asked slowly. He was vulnerable to the answer, but I knew he was ready to hear it.
"Not the way I should," I replied carefully. Not because I had any specific worry or care about it, but more because it was required. The demise of an 8-month relationship should make me worry and care, but it didn't.
He nodded; I was right: he was ready to hear it. He started to trudge up to the castle, but turned around to face me again.
"Hermione, whatever you do-" he seemed to pause. Personally, I was just glad he used my name. "-I'll support you." And I knew what he meant by that. We both did. And then he turned and fumbled up the hill, behind which was the castle.
I was going to follow him (at a reasonable, demise-of-an-8-month-relationship distance, of course), but I decided that after working hard to orchestrate this, it wouldn't fit to not go. I doubted Draco would, but I at least would enjoy the benefit of our hard work.
So I followed the (now desolate) trail into Hogsmeade and decided to wander around a bit. I had nothing pressing to do, so I could explore the farthest limits of the town. I started off on a trail and followed it until I found fields of tall grass. But I didn't stop there.
A/N: Hey guys! I've been dead to you lately, but I've returned for this. Another chapter of TELE should come out… at some point. Anyway, please review, and this IS a series, no worries. More later!