A/N: For some reason, poor Tony is a favorite target in many fanfics, mine included. To paraphrase ZivaFan, somewhere out in fanfictionland Tony is cringing every time I get a new idea for a story.
Why break tradition?
Huge thanks go to Rinne for her stellar beta work and encouragement.
The Perils of Tony
Chapter One
It was a typical day in the NCIS squad room. There hadn't been a major case in a while, and the team was restless. DiNozzo was like a hyperactive child, all pent-up nervous energy, annoying the hell out of everyone. Finally, Gibbs couldn't take it any longer.
"DiNozzo!" he yelled, looking down from the second level.
Tony fumbled the wad of paper he was aiming at McGee's ear. "Yes, Boss?"
"Don't you have anything better to do?"
Tony stood and turned to look up at Gibbs. "Not really, Boss."
"Well you better find something," growled Gibbs, "before I have to come down there and . . . "
Tony scrambled to grab his gun and jacket. "I think I'll go down to the firing range, get some target practice in."
McGee and Ziva both started grabbing their weapons. "Good idea…"
"I think I'll join you…"
The three of them hightailed it out of the squad room.
In the car"Not really, Boss?" McGee's voice was incredulous. "I can't believe you said that!"
"He caught me by surprise," said Tony, defensively, pulling into the parking lot of a convenience store and getting out of the car.
Looking around curiously, Ziva followed Tony into the store while McGee waited in the car. "What are we doing here?"
Tony headed for the chips section. "I need fortification; salt, grease, maybe a little nacho cheese." He pulled several bags of chips and popcorn from the shelf and shoved them into Ziva's arms. "Here, take these, I'll grab some soda."
Arms fully laden with junk food and soft drinks, Tony and Ziva headed to the cashier, only to come face-to-face with a very frightened young man aiming a gun at them.
"Stay where you are!"
The two agents froze, not wanting to aggravate the already panicked robber and get an innocent bystander, or themselves, killed.
"Whoa there," Tony kept his voice pitched low and soothing, "you don't want to do something you'll regret."
"Don't do anything to scare this kid," he said to Ziva, under his breath, who nodded.
"I'm already doing something I regret," stammered the robber, "but it's too late to stop now."
Smiling, Tony shook his head. "It's not too late. You haven't hurt anyone. Why don't you just put your gun down, and we can talk this over."
The boy squinted at Tony and Ziva. "You two cops?"
"Federal Agents," replied Ziva.
"And you know how serious it is to shoot a Fed, right?" Tony raised his eyebrows questioningly.
"Ahh, shit." The young man was getting even more fidgety. He kept his gun trained on Tony, but his eyes jumped nervously between Tony and Ziva.
"Is this your first offense… I'm sorry, what's your name?" Tony edged forward, slowly.
"No names!"
"Okay, okay... If this is your first offense, and you stop it before something happens, the court will probably go easy on you. Give you probation, maybe." Tony kept his voice soothing. He could see the young man, considering what was being said, start to relax, the gun starting to waver a bit.
The cashier suddenly grabbed a baseball bat hidden behind him and jumped over the counter, swinging with all his strength at the robber's head.
There was a gunshot and bottles of soda crashed to the floor, glass breaking, liquid flying…
TBC