Daughter of Helba- Yhea, um, about this story… What can I say?

Shigure- "HELP ME!"

DH- "No, this is funny to watch. Anyway I made this story out of sheer boredom, I guess I dedicate this story to my friend Tiffannie, who we call Pcc, Puffy cheek chipmunk. So maybe its not so appropriate because I used gophers, but hell who cares."

Shigure – "PLEASE HELP ME!"

Kyo - \kicks Shigure \ "Shut up! She's trying to speak."

DH- "Thanks Kyo. Anyway, I don't own Fruits basket but if I did, this would be animated and not playing on a old rickety projector in my mind." \walks off stage \ "Enjoy!"

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Gopher problems

Tohru was walking home form school with Yuki and Kyo beside her. It was just a normal afternoon; the three of them planned on doing their homework before Tohru started supper. Unfortunately when they arrived back at Shigure's house they came across a small problem. Well, actually, it was a large problem.

"Hello kids." Shigure greeted from his spot, bleeding on the ground.

"OH MY GOODNESS! SHIGURE-SAN WHAT HAPPENED!" Tohru cried helping the older man to his feet and Yuki helped her.

"Well I was attacked…" Shigure started before Tohru gasped.

"Oh no! We have to call the police!" she shouted in horror.

"Or the pound." Kyo stated his cat ears atop of his head twitching.

Tohru and Yuki looked at the cat in confusion, instead of explaining Kyo just pointed to the house. Turning to look at the house Tohru and Yuki jumped back in surprise.

The house was covered. They were sitting on the window boxes. They were chewing on the veranda supports and on Tohru's laundry line. They had strewn papers all over the lawn and books were half bitten in amongst them. Mean while sitting oh so proud in the front of the doorway were several…

"Gophers?" Yuki sweat dropped.

"Yes, gophers." Shigure laughed. "I was harmlessly sitting at my computer when all of a sudden a whole army of gophers came marching into the room and the kicked me outside."

"How horrible." Tohru sighed listening carefully to Shigure's valiant tale of how he held off a hundred gophers that wanted to eat his computer.

"Where did all the gophers come form?" Momiji asked coming up beside Kyo who was watching a couple of gophers play cards. Kyo jumped and accidentally landed on the gophers that he had been watching.

"Ahh! Momiji!" Kyo shouted getting off the gophers and staring at it in horror. "Oh no! You made me kill it! BAKA RABBIT!" Kyo stopped his ring of insults as he felt eye on the back of his head. Turning he saw a whole lot of angry gophers staring at him with glowing red eyes. "Uh oh." The cat stood up and started running with the rabbit right beside him.

They ran around the house creating a small circular hole around the house.

Kyo and Momiji jumped into the trench preparing to fight.

"We must defend the house!" Kyo shouted putting his foot up on a rock. He was now dressed in an Army outfit, as was Momiji and Tohru who had joined the fray. They too, were both dressed in Camouflage outfits.

"Defend the innocent home where we live!" Kyo cried. "Bring up arms, my friends! Come! We fight today!" The three of them turned to run at the brown animals but Tohru tripped coming out of the trench and landed on Kyo and Momiji.

A large puff of smoke irrupted in Tohru's face as she landed. When the smoke cleared she was face to face with an orange cat and a white rabbit.

"Oh no! Kyo-kun, Momiji! I'm sorry!" Tohru cried.

"Never mind it!" Kyo shouted getting up on his hind legs as the gophers came closer! "We fight on!"

"Wheeee! Let's go!" Momiji cheered hopping up and down.

So the three of them rushed off. After about five minutes, the whole yard was full of tuckered out gophers, one cat a rabbit and Tohru.

Suddenly one gopher came up to Momiji and talked to him. Momiji raised an eyebrow ( so rabbits have eyebrows?) and laughed.

"No way." Momiji laughed. "Hey Kyo-kun! Guess what!"

"Hun? What?" the cat asked lying on its back and starring at the rabbit.

"The gophers are only attacking the house because of Shigure." The rabbit replied. "They want a disclaimer put on the gopher that he used in his story!" Momiji laughed.

In a flat second Kyo was on his feet starring at the rabbit incredulously. "No way? Seriously?" he asked turning to the dog, who squeaked and jumped behind Yuki. "Well this changes everything!" Kyo turned to the lead gopher that was beside him. "Okay, you guys can have at him."

The gopher jumped to her feet and gave an evil smile at Shigure. She nodded her thanks to Kyo and raced off with the rest of the gophers after a very scared Shigure.

"Well that takes care of everything." Tohru laughed happily as Yuki walked over to them stunned, but yet looking at them like they were the stupidest people on Earth.

"Not everything." Yuki stated pointing to the house.

Tohru's, Kyo's and Momiji's jaw dropped open as they remembered the horrible state of the house.

"Well I have to go!" Momiji sweat dropped. "I have loads of homework to do. Bye!" the rabbit shouted as he waved to his friends, running off down the road.

"Great…" Kyo grumbled as they stared at the house. "This is going to take forever."

Yuki and Tohru nodded. Eventually they stopped staring at the house and started to clean it up, leaving quite a big chunk of it for Shigure to clean. And so this part ends, and the gophers never returned…

Because in order for them to return they'd have to leave first, and they didn't. The lead gopher, which they figured out in human language, name was Tiffannie. So Tiffannie and her fellow gopher friends stayed at Shigure's house…

"Squeak, squeak, squearkers." Tiffannie squeaked holding a glass out. A sorely beat up Shigure walked over and poured it more tea.

The gopher turned to Kyo and squeaked. Kyo nodded his head and laughed evilly. "Good idea."

Shigure looked at the gopher and cat. Tears streamed down his face in rivers. 'Why me?' he asked himself as a teacup was chucked at his head. "Coming Master Gopher-Sama."

And so, Gopher Master, or Tiffannie, got comfortable waiting for the next adventure with the Sohma family, and waiting to meet the rest of them.

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DH- Yup so, let me know what you think.

Army Kyo- Haha today we FIGHT!

Tiffannie – No today you review and tomorrow you check for more addictions to this crazy ass thing.

DH- thanks Tiff. R&R please!