I was disappointed.

The casting was as perfect as it could be, but the voice of the soprano playing Amnita did not have that beautiful, youthful purity that I had envisioned. This was an aggravating fact that taunted me all through the damn opera, making me secretly wish I had approached Christine about playing the part.

However, the crowd loved it. People got to their feet applauding, and I could feel the tension building all through the show; I could sense the approval, almost taste it in the air.

The two I was sitting between were with the crowd. Nadir patted me on the back continuously, taking breaks to clap enthusiastically, and Madame Giry wiped away tears, murmuring words I couldn't understand.

I felt wonderful as I made my way out of the box, when Nadir grabbed my arm, his eyes bright and excited again.

"Erik, um… I have another surprise for you…come this way, I'll explain."

I looked at him, confused, as he led me back behind the stage, and after he glanced around to check that no one was listening, he whispered excitedly, "I promised in the advertisements that I'd introduce the composer tonight, after the performance."

I felt slightly dizzy, but gained composure

"Nadir, may I ask why you find it so entertaining to run my life without discussing it with me first?"

He didn't hear me. He was pushing me out towards the stage.

"No, Daroga, I really don't think this is a good idea…."

I knew that if I wanted to, I could have fought him, but I let him force me on the stage, muttering tired protests. The crowd rose to their feet once more, cheering and applauding. Nadir was saying something, introducing me, no doubt, but I couldn't hear him. My head was swimming. Suddenly, I saw Christine's face in the crowd, for a moment wondering if I was imagining it. Our eyes met, and she looked scared. I turned away quickly, and tried my best to smile and look confident.

When I made my way out the doors, the girl in the pink dress wasn't the only woman waiting for me. Adrianna, the one I had watched rehearsing, along with many other members of the cast and opera goers stared in awe as I stepped out the double doors. They began to cheer, and I felt myself blush. This was absolutely ridiculous.

I smirked as I imagined the reaction that would have followed if Nadir had revealed the mysterious composer to be a disfigured older man. Disappointment at best. Open disgust, more than likely.

However, I caught a glimpse of Christine coming out the door at that moment, accompanied by a rather rich looking young man, quite uncanny to the vicomte himself, his arm around her delicate shoulders. My throat tightened, and I was suddenly determined to enjoy myself despite my misgivings. I strode forward and smiled at the girl in the pink dress who's name escaped me, offered her my gloved hand, (making her giggle like an idiot) and purposely strode right past Christine and into my carriage, waving goodbye to Nadir and Madame Giry through the crowd and avoiding even giving Miss Daeé the slightest impression that I had seen her or cared to.

However, I thought of hardly anything else most the night.

Even as I found my self engaged in entirely questionable acts that I certainly would not include later when I told Madame Giry and Nadir about my night in Paris, I still had trouble keeping my mind off Christine and that new aristocratic fool she let touch her.

"What's the matter with you?"

The girl whose name I still did not know and whose pink dress was now on the floor was gazing at me, her eyes full of confusion, as I avoided making eye contact,

"You're in a different world…you aren't even here, you haven't said a word. You seem so nervous. Those scars on your chest and back don't bother me, you know, I told you that. It makes me think you're like a war hero…"

She giggled. I didn't react.

She looked frustrated, as if expecting me to be the Don Juan she'd seen portrayed in my opera that night.

"Haven't you ever done this before?" she asked suddenly, fixing me with an expecting stare.

I muttered, lying, that of course I had.

"Well, is it me then?" She said, pouting her lip. I glanced around the lavish bedroom, then leaned back against the headboard. Closing my eyes, I told myself to get it together.

"You artists…" she said in my ear, slyly moving down to kiss my chest, "You always have you're head in the clouds…"

And what she proceeded to do next completely took my mind off Christine, and everything else for that matter….

It didn't last forever. I was alone in the dark soon, as she was asleep in no time. I stared at the ceiling, cursing myself. What had I done? I hated this girl. I hated everything she stood for, and knowing that I had just given myself to someone who would no doubt be repulsed by me if she knew who I was at all, I was sick with myself and my impulsive need for normalcy. I glared at her in the dark, she who had given herself to me without a second thought. I found it hard to believe that she even thought about anything at all. She had pursued me for the same reason girls pursued Raoul; it was a shallow desire, based entirely on appearance and status. I suddenly found it unfair for me to even be mad at Christine.

I was a hypocrite. I had fulfilled the ultimate betrayal of everything I had ever pretended to stand for.

For most my life I had denounced the shallow world of humans.

And now, because of a lie, I had attained a ranking in that world. I realized it was not what I wanted at all.

Tomorrow I would go home to the house on the lake and spend the day repenting and playing my music. I would never again wear this infernal mask.

I would be loved, yes, truly loved, for who I really was, or I would die alone.