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Disclaimer: I do not own 'The Zeta Project'. I do not own any of its characters. I deeply appreciate Robert Goodman as the creator of 'The Zeta Project' and all 'The Zeta Project' team. So it's just a fanfic.
As English isn't my native language, I want to thank Dragonmaster01 for her editing work on this chapter.
As in all of my stories, here Zee has a material covering over his synthoid's body. More details about this idea, you can find in Chapter Three of my fanfic "The Nettle's Shirt', book 1 of 'You Need Me".
Ro's thoughts are with italic letters.
Hide and Seek
by Iglika
Chapter 3
Ro's point of view
When the van's door slammed behind us, Zee switched his hologram from Casey's appearance to his Zee look and the moment I was about to yell at him what he was thinking that he was doing, Bennet became… Casey!
I broke into laugher and they both smiled shyly yet proudly.
"I gave him Dr. Edmund's bracelet." said Zee quickly. "Come one, we have to hurry!" and he placed his hands on Casey's shoulder and on my shoulder as well. His hologram flashed again and we three became… something like a dark cloud, which crawled near to the ground.
"Wow, Zee! When did you find out that you can do this?" I asked, still surprised by his new skill.
"Just some practice" answered Zee modestly. "This could work only in a dark, foggy winter evening like this, though."
We managed to get out of the park without problems, although the agents were running around us searching for Bennet. We didn't meet him while we were walking across the park and I had to admit that Zee had calculated everything.
Then, while we were on the street again, Casey, using the bracelet, became some middle aged man, and Zee and I were some ordinary couple - a blonde boy and his sandy haired girlfriend, who he hugged around the shoulders.
"We have to hide before Bennet comes back." said Casey, offering Zee his hand, "Thank you, Zee. I trust you to keep my sister safe and well! Take care, you both! We'll meet again at Morgan's house for Ro's birthday, right?"
Zee and I nodded, then Casey took a taxi, while we both kept walking.
Zee was sure that it was safer for us to remain in this town. He had given Casey some of his creds so my brother will mislead Bennet that we had left this town, while using Casey's creds; we'll stay in a hotel.
It wasn't too late, but I was terribly tired and after I ate the dinner Zee had ordered for me, I merely wanted to get some sleep before we eventually would have to run again.
I went to bed without changing. Zee sat in his usual chair.
But this evening I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sleep for the first time in an age. Everything was so stressful today. And not only Bennet's attack on us, it was something almost usual and common, but my conversation with Casey, the way my brother had discovered my deepest secret. I would like to talk to Zee about all this, but how could I?
I merely had to pretend that I was sleeping…
But the curiosity what actually Zee was doing while I was sleeping didn't let me in peace.
I lifted my head a little bit and I looked at him. He had leaned backward against the chair with closed eyes, as if he was asleep. He really looked as if he was sleeping. Because of me? In order to not scare me if I would wake up in the middle of the night and see his non-sleeping eyes gazed in mine?
What he thought about now? Did he think about me, as I thought about him? Did he think about our future? What he expected from the future? He never talked about his dreams, never. He wanted to be free; he wanted to become more human and then what?
Zee didn't remain that way for too long. He stood up, he approached my bed, he stood in front of me for a while as if he hesitated, then he bend over me and… I felt his hand tenderly to caress my hair, then I felt his warm fingers on my forehead, on my cheek… he caressed me… he caressed me so gently…
Did he doing this always when I was sleeping? Or he did it just now, because he still felt guilty that he had allowed me to convince him that he had to leave me without his protection? Did he know how tender were the touches of his fingers? I sensed that he was bending over me more; I sensed the fresh scent of his face as if it was of some after shave… his face was so close to mine…
My heart sank and then began to beat so fast...
Still under his fingers, which kept gently caressing my hair, I turned my head toward him and I opened my eyes. His face was really so close to mine and his lips…
But he immediately drew back of me, so quickly and so frightened as if he was some thief, who was caught on the scene of the crime.
"Ro… I'm so sorry…I…I thought… I thought you were sleeping…"
Why he was so scared? Because his detectors had mislead him into thinking I was sleeping or because I had sensed his caresses?
"Ro… I'm… I'm very sorry…please forgive me, Ro…"
"It's okay, Zee" I smiled at him, "It's okay, it's really okay" I stood up and tenderly cupped his face with my hands and… it was the most clear hint I could give him, that I not merely didn't mind that he had caressed me, but that he could… he could kiss me…
But...
Zee didn't kiss me.
He merely remained unmovable. The coldness of his behavior beneath the warmth of his skin while I still held his face burned my hands and on my turn I drew back from him.
He looked at me with astonishment, but he was still motionless as if he was some ice statue.
I flopped onto the bed again. I buried my face in the pillow, trying to stop my mad willingness to drown in tears.
You absolutely hadn't in mind to kiss me, Zee, had you… I'm not as sweet as Tiffy, am I…?
And why you caressed me then? If you didn't wanted to kiss me, if you don't love me, then why?
Probably Casey was right. Zee was just a machine, a machine, which was unable to experience a real love. Or he was able to love, but not me. It was more than clear that he was in love with Tiffy. So he may go to spend as much time as he wanted with her, he can kiss her as much as he wants, he may take her as his accomplice, he can marry her, he can do what ever he wants to do, that didn't matter to me anymore.
"Ro…"
"Leave me alone!"
"But, Ro… you're crying…"
"Not of your business!"
"Ro, please…"
"I said - leave me alone!"
"You... you just want me to let you alone for a while, right? You want to… you want to be alone for a little while, is it so? Ro? I could wait for you in the corridor… or in the lobby…"
"No! I want you to leave!" I harshly turned toward him and I yelled in a helpless anger, "I want you to get out of here! Go away!"
"But… Ro… why…"
"Can't you see?"
"N-no… I… I don't think I can… if it's not because I dared to caress you, then I really don't know why… what I did to you, why you are crying, please tell me! Ro…"
"It's useless, Zee, just go away and let me alone! You ever feel guilty to expose my life to danger, well, now is the time, please leave me and go way!"
"You don't say it seriously, Ro, do you? You you're just mad at me…"
"Yes, I am."
"Then tell me why! Please tell me why, Ro!"
"It's exactly because you can't understand. It's over, Zee. Please go away."
"But Ro…"
"I said it's over!"
I didn't look at him although I felt his anxious gaze on me.
"Ro… do you really want… do you really want me to… leave?"
"Just leave."
No, Zee, don't! Don't go away, please don't! Hug me, Zee, kiss me, prove me that you love me… you're not just an obeying machine, so why you always obeying me? I don't want you to be so humble, don't you understand? Hug me, Zee, please hug me… and never leave me if you really love me! Zee-e-e-e!
I heard the hissing sound of his cred card and then his soft, unbearable sad voice, "Any creds could be enough… I could send you…"
"Stop caring for me!"
Stop caring for my material needs, Zee, can't you see I need you!
"Ro… I could call Casey or…"
"Get out of here!" I yelled completely out of control.
Zee stared at me in disbelieve, sad, confused, desperate…
But why? Because he had gotten used to being with me? Because he would feel lost without his translator, without his teacher? Because he… because he just had to have an owner?
His eyelids winced as it was from real pain…
"Goodbye, Ro…" he whispered… he opened the door…
And he left.
He left…
He left me…
He really left me…
I jumped off the bed and took my shoes and jacket...
What I had done… what I had done… I sent away the only one who really wanted to take care of me… the only one who loved me… even if he loved me just as his friend, or… even as his… owner… even if it was so, Zee loved me… he doesn't love Tiffy, that was crazy… he was so devoted to me, he can't love Tiffy… I didn't have to doubt in his love towards me, Zee was the only one who loved me so unselfishly…
What I had done… Zee still needed me, he needed my help, he was in danger without me, he wouldn't make it without me…
I took my knapsack, I tuck in my stuff, my counter… and I went out…
The corridor was empty… maybe Zee was still in the lobby… I took the elevator…
Zee had left…
Why didn't I have mercy on him… he was different, he was so sensitive… he had such a tender soul, he was such a kind person and… after all…he was… a robot… no matter if I tried to ignore it, Zee was a robot… how easily I could forget that he always was inclined to take my words literally… how I was able to forget that as a robot he can fulfill his duty to obey just because he would think that that would please me… he had left… he had take my words literally… and he had left…
Why didn't you say that you love me, Zee? Why did you left me… didn't you understand… didn't you understand how much I love you, Zee… I really love you…
The lobby… there were a few people here… on the desk there was a family, who obviously had just came in the hotel, and a young couple who waited to take their key… two boys and two girls talked sitting around the coffee table… Zee couldn't be one of them… but what about that man, who looked at the brochures at the brochures stand? Or this one, who was sitting near to the two girls and the two boys? No, he was middle aged and he looked too much like Zee's first appearance from the first day I met him. He wouldn't wear any similar hologram now, it wasn't him.
But that man on the brochures stand… He was shorter than Zee, with sharp features, he was lean, brown haired, with clothes, which were out of fashion and with yellow glasses. His appearance seemed like a too logical choice for Zee - everything in this man was opposite to Zee. And there was an odd detail - this man had a red bandana around his neck. That could be just a coincidence, but that remained me of Zee's stupid red hologram bandana he made when he had made that ridiculous safari-outfit and the cowboy's clothing he made while we were hiking. But still… how could I be sure that it was Zee? Except that strong feeling inside of me that I was able to recognize him no matter what his hologram was, I had no way to check if I was right. I couldn't take this man by the hand to make sure if there was a pulse on his wrist… I couldn't try to take his glasses or his bandana in order to be positive if they were some part of Zee's material covering or they were real…
But I knew Zee was here, I just felt it, I sensed it, I was sure he was here…
And I knew he was offended, he would watch over me, he even would follow me, but he would do this the way I wouldn't be able to notice, he would never let me to see his Zee appearance again… unless I would manage to convince him to forgive me…
I had to provoke him, I had no other chance… it was risky, it was very risky, but I really had no other option… I couldn't go and speak privately to that man who I thought was Zee… what he would think of me if I was wrong? So I looked around once again and as I was standing in the middle of the lobby, I turned toward this man and I yelled at him as if we were some separate couple, "Okay, Zee, I'm the guilty one, but please don't try to act as if you don't know me! I'm so sorry for everything that I told you! Please, forgive me! Please don't leave me that way! Please, don't do this to me! I'm really sorry for everything! Please forgive me! Please forgive me, Zee!"
To be continued…
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