Chapter 28: Old Lady Cologne Speaks of the Darkling
The Smashers are in the Tendo house.
"Come and sit down!" Soun says to the Smashers.
Upon seeing the panda, Nana says, "Wow! You have a pet panda!"
The panda pulls out a sign that writes, "I'm not their pet panda!"
"Now that's a smart panda…"
Akane walks into the room, muttering angrily to herself, "That Ranma… Always barging into my room at the wrong time! And that old pervert too!" When she sees the Smashers, she immediately shows her manners. "Oh hello! I am Akana Tendo, the youngest daughter here!"
Parry flies up in front of her and says, "I'm the Smasher's faithful pet parrot Parry! And I say you're such a cute girl!"
"Oh really! You're such a nice bird!"
Nabiki comes into the room. "Hi everyone, I'm home! Oh, we have visitors! I'm the second daughter Nabiki and I'm sure you are Mr. Game, right?"
"Right!" G&W replies.
A red hair pigtailed girl who is wet all over steps in from the backyard door. "Akane! I didn't mean to barge into your room while you were changing your clothes! It's because that old lecher…"
The panda pulls out a sign that writes, "Ranma, my son! Show your manners in front of visitors!"
"Wait a minute… A panda's human daughter is his son!" exclaims Mewtwo.
"There's an explanation to this…" Soun tells him. Kasumi brings a hot water kettle and gives it to Soun, who pours it on Ranma and the panda. Ranma changes from a girl into a boy and the panda turns into his father, Genma! "And as you can see, they are cursed by the Jusenkyo springs!"
"Now that reminds me of someone…" Fox thought to himself. In his mind, he is thinking of three particular Space Pirates whose names all start with P.
"So what brings you all the way from Eagleland to here?" Soun asks the Smashers.
"Actually, we're here on an important mission," says Fox. "Have you ever heard of the Darkling?"
"Darkling?" says the Tendo and Saotome families in unison.
"I'm sure I heard of it," says Soun, rubbing his chin. "Have you, Saotome?"
"No, I don't know anything," replies Genma.
"I'm sure master Happosai knows more about it," continues Soun.
"I last saw him jump out my room window and across the roofs," says Akane. "He must be out there panty raiding, and may take a while to return."
"But I can make him return very fast," mentions Nabiki.
"Then please do it!" Fox tells her.
Nabiki stretches out her hand and says, "500 yen please."
"I only have dollars…"
"You didn't convert it into yen when you came here? Never mind… I'll do it for free this time." Nabiki rushes out the room and up the stairs. A few minutes later, she came back down to the living room.
"What did you do?" Ranma asks her.
"I hanged some of Akane's underwear and pictures of you topless in your female form outside the window!" she replies. "Surely the old man will see it and come to pick it up!"
"Can't you think of other ways besides that!" Akane shouts at her, and then she zooms up the stairs. A few minutes later, the sound of crashing, punching, and kicking can be heard coming from upstairs. Soon, Akane returns to the living room with a beaten up old man, who is very short, in her hands.
When the old man, Happosai, comes back to his senses, Fox explains the situation to him. "Yes, I have heard of the Darkling," says Happosai after hearing the story. "I only know that they are powerful and evil beings that terrorized the entire world 1000 of years ago, but were eventually sealed up by the Hand Families. That's all I know about them. Maybe you should go talk to Cologne to learn more about it."
"Talk to a cologne? How can a cologne talk?" asks Nana.
"She's Shampoo's great-grandmother," Ranma tells her.
"A cologne is the great-grandmother of a shampoo? Now that's weird…"
"No no no… Shampoo is the name…"
Before Ranma can finish, Mewtwo interrupts him, saying, "A bike is coming from the northwest direction." A few seconds later, a bicycle comes crashing into the backyard door and on top of the table!
"Nihao! Ranma my airen!" says the purple-haired Chinese girl who is on top of the bike. "Shampoo brought Ranma special lunch!"
"That's Shampoo…" Ranma points to her.
"Oh," says Nana.
"What are you doing here!" Akane shouts at Shampoo. "I didn't say you can come!"
"Shampoo no take order from angry girl!" Shampoo snaps back. The two of them glares at each other and growls fiercely, as if they are going to fight any minute.
Ranma got in between them and says, "Please don't fight here, okay? Shampoo, can you please…"
"Ai, yes! Shampoo wants to marry Ranma!" She happily puts her arms tightly around him and embraces him.
"That's not what I was going to say!"
-
Meanwhile, out on the streets, Thundon and Bob Fungus have just killed a passerby. The other people around them are struck with fear as they all know very well who they are. "A sad person he is…" says Thundon. "One who does not have knowledge does not deserve a place in the land of the living."
"Yes, he does not deserve a place in the world indeed," says Bob.
A random person whispers to one of the people in the crowd, "Why did they kill him…?"
"I think it was on a debate about whether Birdo is a male or female… The dead man replied female, but they insisted it's a male and then killed him…"
"That's just too cruel! Everyone knows that Birdo is female!"
Instantly after saying this, Bob turns to that man and fires his gun at the man's head, killing him. The crowd screams in fear and runs off. A few seconds later, several police cars come into the scene. "Poor fellows… They do not know who they are facing," says Thundon.
The policemen got down from the cars and point their guns at them. "You're under arrest! We will not allow you to go around and kill for dumb reasons!" Thundon pulls out a large saber and rushes towards the police cars. In a blink of an eye, all the police cars explode and the explosion consumes all the policemen.
Thundon sheathes his saber and walks back to Bob. "Let's go. We have a mission to accomplish."
-
Shampoo is leading the Smashers to her house. Ranma and Akane are also with them. "Why are going with them?" Akane asks Ranma.
"I want to know about this Darkling they speak about. What about you? Why must you follow me?"
"Um… Same reason, I guess.
They soon come to a small restaurant on the side of the street. The billboard above the entrance says Cat Café. "Grandma, I'm back!" says Shampoo when she steps into the restaurant.
"You're back, my daughter! I see that we have customers!" says Cologne, looking up from her newspaper. "Welcome!" When she sees Ranma, she says, "You're here too, son-in-law to be. Have you finally agreed on your engagement with Shampoo?"
Akane gives him an angry glare. "Is that what you're here for?"
"No! I never said I came here for that!"
Suddenly, a young man in a white robe jumps out from nowhere and embraces Ranma tightly. "Shampoo, my love! You're finally back! I've been waiting for centuries for your return!"
"GET OFF ME, YOU BLIND DUCK!" shouts Ranma angrily as he hits the young man, named Mousse, on the head and then shoves him off.
"I'll never understand what this is all about…" Parry thought to himself.
"Welcome, customers!" Cologne greets the Smashers warmly. "Please make your order!"
Fox says to her, "Actually, we're here to…"
Before he can finish, Samus interrupts, "Miso ramen, please!"
"You're hungry?" Fox asks her.
"Can't one eat during a mission?"
"Your choice…"
"I want ramen in vegetable soup!" says Falco.
"Ramen of mixed variety!" orders Dr. Mario.
"Yakisoba!" says Popo.
"I want the same as brothers!" says Nana.
"I'm not in the mood for eating," says Mewtwo.
"I want beef ramen and a dish of gyoza!" orders G&W.
Seeing that almost everyone ordered a food, Fox also makes an order. "I want fried noodle with ducks."
"Okay! I'll go cook them up!" says Cologne as she hops into the kitchen to start cooking.
After some waiting, all the foods are served to them. While they are all eating, Mewtwo starts a conversation with Cologne. "Grandmother, we have something important to ask you."
"Let me hear it."
"Have you or have you not heard of Darkling?"
"Why do you speak of the foul evil that terrorized the whole world thousand of years ago?"
Mewtwo explains to her their mission and the current situation. Cologne nods and says, "I see… So he has finally done it."
"Do you know who the king of Darkling is?"
"He is a foul demon who was once a threat to Japan about 500 years ago. He soon came to the idea about breaking the seal of the Dark Gate, a gate locked away in the Forbidden Realm."
"Wait a minute… Forbidden realm?" asks Mewtwo curiously. The other Smashers look up from eating their meals and Ranma, Akane, Shampoo, and Mousse listen with interest.
"Yes, it is an alternate dimension hidden somewhere high in the heavens," explains Cologne while pointing her staff to the ceiling. "That is where all those unfit to live in the world are sealed. That is also where the Hand Family sealed the Darkling, behind the Dark Gate." Everyone listens with even more interest as she speaks on. "The Hand Family fears that the Darkling may one day be freed from their prison, so they created the 26 Holy Weapons using their genes as the main ingredient."
"But why can the Darkling only be killed by the Holy Weapons?" asks Samus.
"The Darkling are of pure evil. They are the very incarnation of evil itself. The Hand Family is loyal followers of righteousness and holiness. They have not broken any of the world's justice laws. That is why they are the only ones that can destroy the Darkling. Of course, they fear that their clan may someday come to an end, and if Darkling break loose, who will stop them? They pulled off a bit of their genes and DNA and then created the Holy Weapons, so that whoever is worthy of it can use it to destroy the Darkling. You Smashers are trained by Master Hand, who comes from the Hand Family, so that is why you are all worthy of using the weapons; though I'm not sure about the parrot with you."
"He's just some stalker," says Falco. "He's nothing important."
"Hey! I may come into use at times!" says Parry.
"But who is the person that opened the Dark Gate?" asks Dr. Mario.
"The name of that demon has now become the King of Darkling because he opened the gate. His name was greatly hated and held with the lowest respect. He was thought to have died, but apparently, he's much more alive than we thought all these 500 years…"
Suddenly, an explosion blasts open the entrance and knocks down some of the chairs and tables! Falco's food even splat onto his face! "Who's there!" shouts Ranma angrily.
The smoke clears and they see Thundon and Bob Fungus standing outside. "You are the Smashers, I presume?" asks Thundon.
"And what if we say yes?" says Mewtwo.
Bob points his large gun at Mewtwo and says, "Then die."
-
Deep under the sea, a lone auto-controlled submarine is moving through the pitch black seafloor, scanning the area around itself. Not far away, a deep grumbling sound is heard and air bubbles float up towards the surface. The submarine immediately catches notice of this and swims near the place where the air bubbles emerged.
Back in the secret base, a navigator robot looks up from the computer monitor. "Lord Yamatoman, we picked up something on the radar!"
"Is it him?" asks Yamatoman.
"We're unsure of it yet. We'll investigate further.
Back in the sea, the submarine swims nearer and nearer to the source of the grumbling and air bubbles. When it got near enough, the sub begins scanning the 'seafloor'.
"The scanning shows that the object we picked up has signs of life!" says the navigator.
"How big is it?"
"Approximately 100 meters in height."
"Then it must be him!"
"It even shows signs of radiation running throughout the body!"
"Without doubt, it's him! What's the location?"
"About 1000 miles off the coast of Yokohama!"
"Then let's dispatch the Darkling!"
-
Back at Cat Café, the Smashers and the Ranma cast are standing face to face with the vicious killers of Foolurene. "Whose orders do you take that you want to kill us?" Samus asks them.
"We follow the order of Lord Yamamtoman," replies Bob. "He wants us to kill you because you will be a roadblock to his plans."
"What plans? We don't even know him!"
"The plan to destroy the Dark Reactor."
"Dark Reactor? I see, you are henchman of the Darkling King," says Falco. "I think YOU are the ones getting in our way."
"Speak as you want, but you cannot live to see another day," says Thundon, unsheathing his large saber.
Cologne hops in front of them and says, "You wicked people of Foolurene! You dare damage my restaurant and not feel ashamed about it! Why do you not use the door?"
"Because we have never trained to use the door; therefore, we do not know how to open a door."
"These guys are crazy!" exclaims Dr. Mario.
"But enough talk, you shall die this instant," says Thundon.
"I'll handle them myself," says Colgone, getting into fighting stance. "They will pay for what they have done to many people!"
"You better not, old granny," Falco tells her. "You can break your bones."
"No underestimate grandma!" Shampoo tells him. "She very strong!"
Bob points his gun at Cologne and pulls the trigger. Cologne reacted quickly and jumps up to avoid the shot, and then he lightly taps Bob's forehead with the tip of her staff. The light tap amazingly sends Bob flying backwards! Imagine the reaction of the Smashers when they see this! "She's strong!" exclaims Dr. Mario.
Thundon swings his saber at Cologne, but she avoids it and then throws a series of quick fury punches at Thundon. The fists move so fast that it gives an illusion that she has many hands! Thundon takes the beating and slowly move backwards until he falls onto his back. "Urgh… You're strong for an old woman…" he says. "But I'm afraid I have to get serious know." Thundon gets back up and rushes toward Cologne at a blinding speed. Cologne quickly brings up her staff in front of her and blocks the blow from Thundon's saber. As the two of them clash weapons together, Bob sneaks up behind Cologne and is about to pull his gun trigger when suddenly Mousse hops in front of him and blocks the bullets with a shield.
"It's not fair to fight one on two," says Mousse. He stretches out his right hand and several chains shoot out from his sleeve, and they all wrap around Bob. Mousse lifts Bob into the air using the chains and slams him back down onto the street with hard slam.
"UUUUUURRRGHHH!"
Cologne uses her staff to flip Thundon into the air and he drops back down on Bob. While the two are trying to get off each other, Cologne steps in front of them and says to herself, "Keep calm… They are now in deep panic. Keep calm…" Cologne begins twirling her staff in her hand, forming a large tornado out of it. The tornado picks up the two Fools and takes them high into the sky until they disappear out of sight.
"That should do it," says Cologne. The Smashers' jaws have all dropped open upon seeing the marvelous technique.
"Can someone this old be that powerful!" gasps Mewtwo.
"I can't believe an old woman can be this powerful!" exclaims Fox.
"See, I told you the hag will win," Ranma tells them.
-
Meanwhile, in the hidden base…
"The Darkling are ready," a robot says to Yamatoman.
"Good. Now sent them out to him," commands Yamatoman. "Do not fail."
"Yes sir!"
A large plane carrying a big capsule takes off from the base and high above the sea. When the plane reaches a specific spot above the sea, it lets go the capsule and drops it into the sea. The capsule sinks in the deepest part of the sea and breaks open, releasing more than a hundred Darkling…
TO BE CONTINUED…
I tell you the truth, you have not see the last of Thundon and Bob Fungus yet.