Chapter 1: Antibug

Mornings were always difficult, even before life became a three-ring circus. Daily shows of flying trapeze, acrobatics, gymnastics and target shooting, with her being the target more often than not.

Her public persona, the superhero with the mask, performing acts to be proud of. The toughest act was juggling. Always juggling. Day in and day out, in costume and out, always juggling. Hero, idol, star, student, daughter, friend, girl.

Until she was no longer juggling. None of the other acts existed anymore. She was not a hero or idol or a star. All that remained was the student, the daughter, the friend.

She was just a girl.

She had one act - the clown. The only act she remembered doing, the only one she knew. Awkward and clumsy, her very presence inspired jokes. Everyone around her must burst with laughter at the comedy which is Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

School.

That had its own level of difficulty.

Picking an outfit was usually easy, with always a pang of regret. She had many outfits she designed and made herself, but could never bring herself to wear in public. She always reverted to a t-shirt and jeans with a blazer of sorts. Her black hair pulled back into twin-tails. Nothing fancy, nothing special - just like Marinette.

She always admired how Ladybug wore that skin-tight bodysuit showing all her curves to the world, with plenty of curves as she got older. She has seen the sites dedicated to Ladybug. The pictures, art and meme were quite startling. Some were gross, even freaky. But most were entertaining, even flattering. There were photos, GIFS, stories, and even songs all dedicated to Ladybug. It could get very overwhelming.

Perhaps it was for Ladybug. But for Marinette, it was just another thing that Ladybug had that she didn't.

"Marinette," that's her name, she was certain.

"Marinette!"

Marinette's head snapped up to attention. This was class and she was sleeping. Again.

Let me think. Where am I? Yes, Physics. That would explain the sleeping.

"Marinette, please sit up and pay attention. I do not tolerate this rude behavior. I expect more of you."

That was Mr. Belrose. He was nice. She used to like his lessons.

"I am sorry, Mr. Belrose," piped Marinette in the most awake voice she could summon, "I'm listening. This won't happen again."

"I sure hope so. Now everyone please turn to page one hundred and twenty-seven and work through items six to ten."

Marinette's eyes were drifting again as the words swam on the page. She could not find item six. All the numbers on the page looked to be eight.

Ok, item eight it is. I'll do all the eights.

"What's going on, Marinette? Still insomnia. Did you get those pills I suggested?"

The elbow in her side indicated Alya was the one pestering her. At least she still cared.

"Sort-of and no. I told you I don't think they'll help."

"I'm sure they will. They helped me last year. I spent a whole week awake when you-know-what with you-know-who. These pills dropped me like a sack of green beans into a pleasant comatose."

"Since I have no you-know-what or any you-know-who, then they will not work on me."

"Really?" you could hear the slyness creeping into Alya's voice, "You-know-who is two rows in front on the right. I would think he would inspire pill taking."

Marinette growled under her breath. She didn't have to look who Alya was referring to, but her eyes shifted towards him of their own. Starting with the neat short blond hair, her gaze lowered to caress his neck and wander along the white shirt covering his shoulders. She has known Adrien Agreste about as long as she's known Alya, although "know" is too strong a word. Throughout the years, they never had a conversation for more than a few minutes. It was her fault, she knew that. They used to be good friends but whenever she spoke to him, she would get all flustered and confused saying the most muddled sentences, embarrassing herself all the time. She knew everything about him, but did she know him?

"Enough, I told you I'm over him. He's just another guy. Ok, good looking. Fine, gorgeous. Yes, he is kind and amazing and has a smile that makes my knees wobble and I'll do anything for him if he looked at me and asked. But even with those amazing broad shoulders he's grown into, he is still only a friend, and barely that." Marinette growled again and covered her face.

"Yep, that's what I thought. Same old Marinette. Almost the same, you aren't such a goofball around him anymore."

She knew how to embarrass herself when near Adrien. She spent most of her earlier years tied up in knots trying to be with him but not able to form a cohesive sentence once in his presence.

"That's because I'm not around him, thanks to you" muttered Marinette under her breath so Alya would not hear.

"Ah!" ok, she heard.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Marinette rushed to apologize, "I'm not sure what got into me. Not your fault at all. You have been great and wonderful and it was the right decision and I back you up all the way… and I'll just shut up now."

"I'm fine," Alya said, "It's been almost a year. I'm over him."

"Is that so?" Marinette watched Alya from the corner of her eyes. "So it won't bother you that Cheriss was still going to every gig Nino does and wraps herself onto him whenever possible."

"Not at all," Alya pointedly looked away.

"They've been together over seven months and poor Adrien still spends most of his time on his phone since his best friend's mouth is too occupied for a conversation."

"I'm sure they get some time to interact."

"Not that I've noticed."

"I guess you would know, since you still watch Adrien all the time."

Marinette shut up, the conversation coming back to her own crush.

"It's ok, it's all fine," Alya said at last. She recently upgraded her conversations with Nino from a few words to complete sentences. She was still single.

"By the way," Alya's voice sounded hopeful, "what's the answer to number eight?"

"Which one?"

By lunchtime, Marinette felt better and could enjoy lunch with Alya and Nathaniel. That did not last long.

"...and he didn't stop there. He just didn't know when to stop. He kept on saying 'it doesn't make sense'. Mrs. Faure eventually told him to hold his thoughts and come speak to her after class. It was so ridiculous. He's such an idiot. Why does she even bother?" Chloe's aloof voice was mocking Kim at a nearby table.

Marinette felt a vein throbbing in her temple. A lifetime of experience with Chloe, and still she's surprised by her cruelty. Chloe often aimed her snide remarks at Marinette, who tried to ignore her. It has become more difficult. Armed with the knowledge of Chloe's fears and insecurities, Chloe's words used to ricochet off Marinette. But for a few months now, every taunt, jive, and hurtful word would sink into Marinette's heart and stick there.

It was worse when Chloe shifted her ray of destruction onto others. Marinette felt so bad for them her heart would burst. She identified with how they felt, wanting to tell them it was not true and they should not listen to her. She had enough hearing Chloe spitting venom on everyone around her. She should get up and tell Chloe to shut up and leave Kim alone, make herself the target and not let others suffer.

She believed it and used to do it. Now she couldn't find the courage to face Chloe. Only sit there with her face burning, her fist crunching up the page she was busy doodling on.

Alya looked over to Marinette and stopped mid-sentence.

"You ok, Mari?" she looked at her with concern.

"Chloe is getting to her again," Nath volunteered, "I caught a few words, she is on about Kim again."

"Ooo, that girl grinds me the wrong way," Alya's eyes turned deep and menacing. "Someone should put a stop to this." She looked pointedly at Marinette, who just twisted into herself, covering her face with her hand. "What's happened to you? I used to have to hold you back." She shook off a puzzled look, leaned forward, rising out of her seat.

"Chloe, that's enough," from somewhere behind Marinette a low but firm voice cut through Chloe's high pitch whine. Alya froze mid-movement, then flopped down into her seat.

"Adrikins," Chloe's voice rose an octave, "come sit with us Adrikins."

"No Chloe, you are being cruel again and you need to stop it. We've had enough hearing you spitting venom on everyone around you." Although Adrien's voice was low, they could hear the anger in every breath.

Hearing Adrien repeating her thoughts, Marinette's heart once again threatened to burst, this time from the warmth and love she felt, lifting her spirit out of her body floating to the wonderful soul of the man she did not see but could feel his heat warming the entire room. How could she stop loving him? He kind and caring, and brave to stand up to Chloe that way. Even braver since Chloe was his childhood friend. He is such a kind person; he remained her friend even when she was nasty and spoilt.

"Earth to Marinette." Alya nudged her, trying to get her attention

"Huh?"

"Seriously Mari? You've been staring blankly into space for over two minutes."

"What? What happened?"

"Adrien walked away and Chloe chased after him, apologizing. Can you believe it, Chloe apologizing? I think she was more shocked than anyone to hear Adrien talk to her that way," Alya said with wonder.

"Well, she deserved it. She shouldn't make fun of Kim, he's a really nice guy. She shouldn't laugh no matter what he did. I should know. I make a fool of myself all the time."

"That's why we love you so much" Alya smiled at her.

"What does that mean? If I'll act all proper and perfect, saying the right things and doing amazing things — you won't love me anymore?"

"Then it won't be you, Mari. That would be someone else."

"So you don't want me to be perfect. Thanks. I'll stay the same goofball self forever. Go through life tripping and falling over everything, embarrassing myself, no one will ever want me. I'll die alone in a tiny apartment with a cat for company."

"Mari?" Alya asked, suddenly worried, "Are you ok? I thought you were joking."

"I thought so too," said Marinette, laying her forehead on the table. "Now, I'm no longer sure."

"Don't worry, Mari," Nathaniel reassured her, "we don't need you to be perfect. No-one is perfect. You are wonderful the way you are and one day, some lucky guy will realize what he's been missing all this time without you in his life and will crawl on his knees asking you to shed some of your beautiful light on the shadows of his heart."

"Nath." sighed Marinette, looking up with a smile on her face. "That was beautiful."

"Anyway, not everyone can be perfect," Alya happily announced. "After all, there is only one Ladybug."

Marinette's forehead sunk down to the table again. She let out a groan.

"What?" asked Alya in surprise, "What did I say?"

Alya was already sitting at a wooden table when Marinette walked into the small café. Pot plants lined two of the walls and several landscape paintings hang in strategic positions, giving the place a homely feeling. Most of the tables were still empty, creating a quiet, relaxed atmosphere. Marinette tried to absorb the calm from the air as she sat.

Alya was typing on her phone, her brow wrinkling as she concentrated. She looked up with a small jump as Marinette took her seat.

"Great, I ordered us coffee, it should be here in a minute."

"Updating the Ladyblog?" Marinette asked in a bored voice. "You'd think a great reporter like yourself would find a new scoop to chase after. I've been telling you to move on for a while, but would you listen?"

"Hey, you used to love my Ladyblog. There were even a few blogs about you. And that one time, when you organized a private interview with Ladybug. Ah, wow. I still tremble at the memory. You're amazing. There is no one else who's had so much personal interaction with Ladybug and Chat Noir. You're always in the right place at the right time."

"You mean the wrong place at the wrong time. Interacting with those heroes is not a fun walk in the park. It usually involves a lot of running away and getting hurt. Anyway, that was long ago. I work hard to stay out of their way and be nowhere near them."

"Don't spoil the memory Mari, you had fun and you know it. You were beaming when you gave me the details for my blog, you encouraged me to add more and more. What happened? Now, you are dissing it all the time and trying to get me to stop. Even with all the new sites, Ladyblog is still the number one place for anything Ladybug and Chat Noir related, having a constantly increasing number of subscribers. It is good, I'm doing good work."

Marinette looked away, embarrassed by Alya's words. She was right. She had no right to ruin this special project of hers. It was good; she was good at it.

The silence was stretching too long it was becoming uncomfortable.

The waitress arrived, cheerfully handing them their drinks. Marinette thanked her, her smile not quite reaching her eyes.

"I'm sorry," Marinette said, attempting to fix things. "I didn't mean to put the blog down, and most definitely not you. You're a brilliant reporter. Maybe you should show your brilliance in diverse ways." She flashed a fake smile, attempting to dispel the tension.

"Diverse ways, eh?" a small smile crept up Alya's face. "So you're sorry about what you said?"

"Yes, Alya, of course."

"You have had to apologize a few times lately."

"I'm sorry."

"I have an idea how you can make up for it."

"Oh no, I don't like that smile."

"Alix's party!" exclaimed Alya "I know what you're going to wear!" Everyone in the café turned to look at the sudden disturbance in the quiet, restful atmosphere.

Alya spread an apologetic smile to the other customers until they all went back to their own business.

"I know what you're going to wear to the costume party," Alya repeated in a low voice.

"I will not like it, am I?"

"The way you've been talking, I expect you'll hate it," Alya sported an enormous smile.

Before Alya could relate the cruel and sadistic idea she had for Marinette, someone screamed outside the window.

They both turned in time to see a young woman turn around and sprint in the opposite direction. Silver paint landed on the car parked out front, converting it to painting. Within a heartbeat, there were more cries and people running past the café, away from something not yet visible.

"I will show you beauty!" a voice roared outside. "I will show you exceptional talent."

"Great," sighed Marinette. "Another akuma attack. You'd think people would be used to this by now and will stop all the screaming and running. It really gets kind of repetitive."

Alya's mouth hang open for ten seconds before she snapped it shut. She shook her head at Marinette and got up.

"Sit, please," Marinette grabbed Alya's elbow, pulling her down. "Stay and drink with me. Tell me what you were thinking. I'll do it, whatever it is, just stay. Ladybug and the cat can deal with it and we can sit here and enjoy our drinks."

"Mari! I have to go. I need to film this. This is important. I'll speak to you later."

With that, Alya rushed out the door, holding up her phone, filming the running people.

"That is important? That is important, but I'm not?" Her headache was starting again. The other patrons were trying to find a safe place away from the windows. They did not hear Marinette muttering to herself. "Go. Run to your perfect Ladybug. Leave me here, I don't mind. I know I don't measure up. I'll just stay here by myself and enjoy this wonderful…"

Marinette's lap was getting wet. She looked down to see the coffee cup got knocked over when Alya rushed to get up. The coffee oozed over the tabletop until it reached the edge and dripped on Marinette.

"Great." Marinette looked up and watched Alya searching the surrounding rooftops. Marinette watched how she was once again losing her best friend to Ladybug.

A/N Next chapter: "Confrontation"