Chapter 9: Lactose Intolerance
"Plagg? You up?"
"Mmm."
"Plagg? Are you up?"
"No."
"Great. Plagg, I don't know what to do."
"How about shutting up and letting me sleep?"
Plagg tried to snuggle deeper into the pillow. Maybe if he gets in deeper under the pillow, it will block out Adrien's whining.
"She is so wonderful and amazing. I have to do something about her. I can't leave things as they are."
No such luck. Adrien's whine would penetrate a 5-foot soundproof wall. These few feathers, as comfortable as they were, were no match against Adrien's unconventional weapon of sleep destruction. How did he get stuck with such a whiner? He remembered eighteen-year-olds being more mature than this. Then again, he couldn't remember any human males being mature, ever.
"Do you even know who you're talking about? Because I don't." Plagg gave up on sleep.
"Eh? What do you mean? Ladybug, of course."
Plagg flew out from under the pillow to hover over Adrien's head, staring at the dumbfounded boy.
"Of course? All your whining about blue-eyed girls sounds the same to me. How am I supposed to differentiate?"
"What? Oh! Marinette. Don't be ridiculous. You know I am worried about Ladybug."
"Worried. Lovesick. Ladybug, Marinette. I can't keep up. When do we eat?" Plagg flew to the bookshelf and through some books.
I'm sure I stashed some Camembert behind one of these books.
"You know what. I'm thinking I might have preferred it when you weren't talking to me," Adrien threw at him from across the room.
Finding no cheese, Plagg flew back to Adrien and gave him a long stare.
"And there I was hoping you will learn from me and stop talking. But no!" Plagg elongated the 'no' in exasperation. "You have to go on and on. 'Oh my Ladybug, what do I do?', 'Marinette, when did she become so beautiful?', 'my love bug, how I miss what we had!', 'Mari is so amazing!', 'my lady, why is she mean to me?', Blah! Blah! Blah! Get me some cheese and everything will work out."
Plagg dived into the drawer, looking for any crumbs he might have left when he hid some cheese there yesterday. Finding nothing, he flew out to end up face to face with Adrien. The hurt in his eyes was too much for Plagg to bear.
"Listen, Kid." Plagg slowed down to reassure the boy. "You're right. Something is not right with Ladybug and I can't figure out what it is. But stop stressing about it constantly and try to relax. We'll figure it out and solve it."
"You were not so relaxed the last two days. Hiding away, hardly talking." Adrien retorted.
Plagg did not want to think about it. He wanted cheese and Ladybug made him lose his appetite. Well, not really. But it was unpleasant to even consider he might lose it.
With a loud 'humph', Plagg flew under the bed, checking every corner. No Cheese. He needed a distraction.
Ladybug hasn't hit him in over two thousand years. Excluding the times their charges were training or competing. He had challenged Tikki many times in history, boasting his charge was better, but she would usually brush him off. Even the few times they competed, the fights carried no animosity.
"What have you done with all my cheese? You wake me up in the middle of the night and leave me to starve to death." It was Plagg's turn to whine.
"Middle of the night?" Adrien chortled. "The sun has been up for over an hour. I did not touch your cheese, you probably ate it all."
Foosball!
Plagg darted into the foosball table. There it was, lying between the boards, away from anyone's reach, a stinky piece of cheese. Even more stinky than usual. He wasted no time in gobbling up the whole wedge.
"Blah!" Plagg barreled out of the table, letting out a powerful belch. "That was horrible. How long was that in there? Are you trying to kill me?"
Adrien looked back and forth from Plagg to the foosball table. "That explains why my table has been stinking so much. I thought you were sleeping there, so it smelled of you."
Plagg's day was not starting well. His gut emanated strange noises.
Ladybug apologized for hitting them, claiming it for an accident. He believed she regretted her action. Still, he felt the anger in her punch. He hasn't felt that in thousands of years. The last time did not end well.
He needed to speak to Tikki.
"When are we going to your girlfriend?"
"Marinette isn't my girlfriend." Adrien protested.
"Really? Then how did you know exactly who I was referring to?"
Adrien turned bright pink. The color suited him. This boy was so oblivious. He thought his over-the-top feelings for Ladybug were how love feels, so he dismissed his deep affections for Marinette as 'friendly'. It was very rewarding yesterday, seeing his ignorance crack under Marinette's smile. Now these foolish kids can behave out of costume the way they've been avoiding in costume. Then he can eat his cheese in peace without all this tension.
He must speak to Tikki.
"Now go get me some Camembert or I will start singing about you kids, a tree and a spelling bee."
"You are so childish," Adrien accused. That did not stop him from getting up and heading to the kitchen.
Plagg used the opportunity to get hold of Adrien's phone and add a few hearts to Marinette's contact number.
School is so boring. Why did these people have to spend so much time learning so many things which will make absolutely no difference in their lives? Plagg remembered the days when his charge would apprentice to some useful profession. He would do actual work creating real products. What do they want with all these essays and tests? They can't use them for anything. They can't eat them. What's the whole point?
There was one good thing about school. Adrien spent most of the day sitting still. This allowed Plagg to enjoy many hours of good sleep in Adrien's very comfortable pocket. Much better than being bounced around during some sport, like fencing.
Tikki once told him she enjoyed the history classes the most, catching up on events she missed while dormant, or hearing a hindsight analysis of an event she lived through. Plagg sometimes enjoyed those lessons too because he found it hilarious how they had so many facts completely wrong. He should know. Hhe caused most of them.
"You cleared out your schedule this afternoon?" Nino didn't even bother with a 'good morning'.
"Yes. I don't understand why you're hyped about this. I'm just tutoring her." Adrien was still oblivious.
"I'm not sure. Maybe it was the fact that it took me almost an hour yesterday to get you to focus on my new tracks."
"Oh, that? I just never realized she was so..." Adrien's ears bloomed magenta. "So… So bad at physics."
This kid was seriously hopeless. Plagg swallowed a groan, wishing he could come out and tell Adrien a few things about girls, physics, and chemistry.
"Physic, yes," Nino smirked.
Plagg stopped following the conversation as they walked to class. He was anxious to speak to Tikki and solve this problem. Not liking this feeling, he wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible. At long last, they had physics where Marinette sat a few seats behind. Flying down under Adrien's clothes and then through the seat, Plagg made his way to the back, making sure he was out of sight. He lost track of which row she was sitting in. Peeking through a seat, he found Rose and Juleka concentrating on the teacher. He's gone too far. Checking another seat, he found kids he never bothered to learn their names. If he carried on like this, someone would spot him. Frustrated, he flew around in circles trying to find a pink pair of legs. She always wore pink, didn't she?
"You ready for your date today?" he heard right above him.
Plagg recognized the high pitch screech that followed. It was a 'Marinette reacting to Adrien' sound. He's seen this girl jump into burning buildings to pull out people with no hesitation. Mention Adrien and she falls apart. He might find human males immature, but human girls were beyond comprehension.
"It isn't a date," Marinette's stern whisper came from above. "He's only helping me with some physics. Nothing more."
"So you're not excited? Not at all?"
"Excited? How can I be excited? I am too busy freaking out." Yes, that was undeniably the Dupain-Cheng girl.
Plagg nudged his head through the seat, glancing up at the two girls holding their heads close together.
"I thought it was simply a teaching session." Alya's smile seemed wicked from Plagg's perspective.
"It is. Only, I can't get the look he had yesterday out of my head. It was... just…" Marinette let out a long sigh. Plagg wanted to throw up. Human teenage girls.
Spotting Marinette's bag, Plagg dove straight for it.
"Tikki?" He whispered as he passed through layers of fabric.
She did not answer. Nor was she even there. All he found were a bunch of girls' stuff he didn't want to touch. Where was Tikki? She didn't come with her to school? What if there was an akuma attack? That was unlike Tikki. Maybe they had a fight. The way Ladybug was behaving, he could believe it.
"I saw you spoke to Nino between classes. More than usual. That's new." Marinette was shifting the conversation to Alya. Plagg noticed she was always uncomfortable getting too much attention. Even as Ladybug.
"We did. Nothing out of the ordinary. To be honest, mostly about you and Adrien. It was different, though. He wasn't constantly looking around, worried Cheriss will show up. He was more relaxed. It was nice."
"Don't get your hopes up please, he is being friendly while enjoying his new freedom."
Marinette seemed worried. Plagg couldn't figure out about what.
"Yes. She loosened his chain. I hope it is not loose enough for him to hang himself."
"Alya, don't be nasty." Marinette giggled.
She giggled! How can she punch him one day and then giggle the next? Talk about letting akumas run loose in Paris and then squeal about Adrien coming to her house.
What is going on here? Why wasn't Tikki at school?
Plagg made his way back to Adrien, feeling worse than before. They were going to her house. He will corner Tikki and get to the bottom of this.
Adrien stood outside the school, waiting for Marinette and Alya. Plagg, restless in his coat pocket, was almost as anxious as Adrien. They were with Nino and Cheriss, the young girl draped on to Nino as usual. Plagg missed Alya. She was way more fun than Cheriss, and funny too. Nino was an idiot. He was surrounded by idiotic teenage boys and hyper-excited teenage girls. He was getting too old for this.
"Hey guys," Alya called to them as they approached.
"Great, you arrived," Nino called back.
There was an awkward silence where no-one said anything. Plagg poked Adrien in the ribs — hard.
"Ow. Em. Marinette, shall we go?" They walked to Marinette's house in complete silence, neither of them saying a word. Plagg debated poking Adrien again, for good measure.
They arrived at the bakery for some uncomfortable, albeit friendly, moments with her parents. They moved upstairs to her room, where they both stood shuffling around, neither knowing what to do. This merited another poke.
"Ow."
"You ok?" Marinette's concern was obvious. That should jump start his brain.
"Yes, yes. Just, em, something I ate." Adrien patted his chest rather roughly, knocking Plagg. Accidentally? "I guess we should sit at your desk. Wow, is this where you do all your amazing designs? Can I look?"
"They're not completed or any good," Marinette hesitated, "but you can if you want, I don't want to bore you."
"Bore me? Are you kidding? Your designs are always amazing. I would love to see how you come up with them." Adrien, paging through the papers on her desk, missed the sharp intake of breath. "This dress is amazing. You should design something for me. I would so model it. Dad will have a fit when I show up wearing someone else's designs. He would hire you even if only so he can claim I only wear his clothes."
This kid was beyond oblivious. He had no clue what he was doing to the poor girl. Plagg could practically hear Marinette hyperventilating. The fool continued scanning through her work, carelessly throwing her praise. Instead of teaching her physics, he'll need to wipe a melted teenage girl from the floor.
"Physics." A soft squeal interrupted Adrien's blundering.
"Huh? Oh, yes. I… well..." He lost his momentum. "Books. We need some books."
Lame.
"I'll get them." Marinette rushed to the shelves, crashing into the table. She put her hands out to catch herself on the swivel chair, only to have it glide away from her, pulling her off balance. Girl and chair crashed onto the floor.
"Marinette!" Adrien rushed and leaned down to help. "Are you ok?"
Plagg, watching for just such an opportunity, flew out, heading for the back of the room before anyone noticed.
Adrien held out his arm as support for Marinette. She held onto him, pulling herself up to a crouching position, bringing her face right up close to Adrien's. The two froze as their eyes met, remaining in that position for almost a minute.
"Physics," Adrien breathed. Plagg only heard because of his enhanced hearing.
The two pulled away so quickly, Marinette crushed down again. After much apologizing and half sentences, the two were sitting at the desk with open physics books.
"Where do you need help?" Adrien asked.
"Everywhere." Marinette sighed, then perked up. "In physics. I mean, I need help everywhere in physics. I understand nothing. It is all just a bundle of concepts which make no sense at all. I hear Mr. Belrose talk and it's like little worms sitting in my ears, eating up everything before it even gets to my brain. Those little leftover bits they miss and make it to my brain are disconnected and incomplete, leaving me even more confused than when the lesson has started."
Adrien sat, his eyes following Marinette's flailing arms with a warm smile on his face. Marinette realized and dropped her arms to her lap and lowered her head.
"I think we should start at the beginning, quickly get through the topics and see what you already understand and what you need help with. Once we know that, we will see where to concentrate our efforts. Trust me, you know more than you think. All we need to do is tie those," he chuckled, "disconnected, half-eaten bits together and you'll be fine."
Marinette's head snapped up to him. His smile displaced any thoughts that he was making fun of her. With a sharp nod, the two looked down at the books.
While the duo kept each other occupied, Plagg searched most of the room, making sure he was always behind Marinette's back. He went through the drawers, the closet, by her bed, under the bed, in the bed, between her shoes, and in the shoe boxes. He even risked a dip into her vanity closet. As much as a part of him enjoyed watching the pair interact so well together, he wanted them to take a break and go away or something. That will allow him to search the rest of the room. He wished he could tell Adrien what he was up to, so Adrien would find an excuse to take her downstairs. But he couldn't come up with a good story for searching Marinette's room. Stupid rules.
Sitting on one of the support beams, Plagg watched the teenagers' playful banter below. Marinette looked at Adrien with so much adoration it made Plagg sick. But mostly, she concentrated on the work, taking it seriously as well as having some fun. From the little Plagg heard, she was making excellent progress. This was the Ladybug he knew, not the Ladybug which hit him a few days ago. Where was Tikki hiding? He must find her. Plagg sat, looking down at his charge, frustrated and worried.
A/N Next Chapter: Chemistry