Takes place after The Siege 3 but before Intruder.

Pairing: McKay and OC but includes the rest of the gang. I kept Ford healthy, just cause he's a cute kid.

Rating: T

Summery: Rodney helps a friend deal with loss and gains something in return. Please R&R This has been edited, cut into chapters and resubmitted.

Recovery

Chapter One

It was over. It seemed to end so quickly, even though the Wraith attacks had been going on for two days. After all the hard work and fear and loss of life, it really was over. With the arrival of The Daedalus the Wraith Hive ships had, literally, gone down in a blaze. Everyone was still holding their breaths expecting something to bring them back and to start the whole damn thing all over again. But they were actually gone!

To everyone's relief and delight, Major John Shepherd had managed to survive his intended suicide mission to deliver a nuclear bomb to the Hive ships. But there was still incredible loss of life for that group of adventurous scientists and military men that had come to Atlantis just a few months earlier, knowing that they would most likely never be able to return to Earth and their families.

When it finally hit home to the survivors that the battle was actually over, well, that's when the party began. There were hugs and tears and cries of delight when friends found each other. Everyone seemed to gather in The Control Room, where Drs. Weir, McKay and Beckett had almost collapsed from sheer fatigue and relief. Then, starting low and then building in intensity and volume, the song "WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS" could be heard all over Atlantis through the intercom system. People, arm in arm, with the tears of triumph in their eyes, sang together the new unofficial anthem of the city.

Elizabeth Weir turned to find a grinning Dr. Casie Ronin, Atlantis' head Biochemist, with her arms around both Carson Beckett and Rodney McKay as they sang with the music she had not so spontaneously had on hand... just in case. She wasn't quite sure how many times the song played that night but they were all quite sure they didn't want to hear it again for quite a while.

As the festivities wound down and people started wondering back to their rooms, Rodney decided that maybe he should follow their example and go sleep for a week. As he worked his way back through the hallways of Atlantis, he happened to see Casie sitting on the floor of one of the many balconies with her feet hanging over the edge as she leaned on the railing looking out over the city.

"Isn't that kind of a long way down?" he asked her.

She turned her head and gave him a halfhearted smile. "I guess it is if I actually looked down. I try not to do that." She turned back to look out over the water.

Rodney walked closer and looked down at the diminutive ash-blond who appeared to be preoccupied. "Are you OK, Casie? You look like you've got something on your mind."

"I was thinking about all those we lost," She rose from the floor and looked at him puzzled, "I mean... I was trying to. I can't remember them..." She looked up into Rodney's eyes, pleading for help, "What kind of person can live and work side by side with people for months and when they die...can't even remember their names or even their faces?"

"What do you mean... wh...you can't remember them?" he asked puzzled.

"No! I can't!" Casie was getting more and more upset. "I tried to. I... I heard some guys talking at the party about someone and I realized that I had no idea who they were talking about! What's wrong with me, Rodney?"

"You sure it's not just a case of too much of Radek's moonshine? That stuff is pretty volatile."

She shook her head, "No, God knows, he shoved enough of that stuff in my direction, good thing I mixed it with some juice... but I've always had a good memory. People used to say it was almost photographic or some such crap. I just don't forget things...especially people I care about!"

He grabbed her hands when she shakily reached for the railing, feeling the tremble in them and looked into her azure blue eyes, noticing for the first time since he met her in Antarctica, the darker blue that ringed each iris. He had never seen eyes like her's before. "Did you ever think that your psyche is blocking those memories precisely because you care so much?" She looked at him puzzled as he continued. "You care about everyone here. Since the day we arrived you've worked on bringing us all together as a family. You kept the military guys from separating themselves from us civilians, as well as keeping any tight cliques from forming and shutting out the rest." She tried to look away from his all too honest expression, "Look at me, Casie. I mean it, you actually like people and they know that. Even those of us that haven't really earned it. I only know of one person that's gotten to the point of you calling him a jerk...actually, I think it was more like "asshole"." He grinned when he saw the dawning comprehension in her eyes and the hint of a smile. "Cavanaugh." They said in unison.

"He IS an asshole." she stated.

"Ya, well...you're right there. And I doubt that you would find anyone here that would disagree with you." Rodney put a finger under her chin to get her to look up at him again. He felt his heart thump as he saw the trust and vulnerability in those incredible eyes. "Boy, that moonshine of Radek's' is dangerous." He thought. "You think I could be right?" He stumbled over the words, suddenly feeling how very close she was standing to him. He'd only ever thought of her as another scientist, not an attractive woman.

"About me or Cavanaugh?" She gave him that half smile of her's then said, "You know that's the first time you've ever asked me that. I thought you were always right!" He grinned down at her again but backed away a bit. "And just when did you start sounding like a Shrink?"

"Well...to tell you the truth, I've had a few talks with Kate Heightmeyer myself in the past couple weeks." He gave her a stern look. "Which I'd like to be kept just between you and me. Maybe you should go have a chat with her."

Casie pulled away from him quickly. "NO! I don't want people to think I'm nuts!"

"Casie, it doesn't mean..."

"I SAID NO!"

"OK, what about Carson though? You've known him longer than any of us. He's good at giving advice. I think he actually enjoys it in some sick little way."

She wrapped her arms around herself and turned back to look out at the water. "Ya, like I'd really want him to know about this."

That hit Rodney in the gut, he'd actually thought that maybe... but if she already had feelings for his friend, well, so much for that idea. "Why are you confiding in me about this?" He wanted to just leave and let her deal with her emotional problems herself, why should he care about her anyway?

Casie turned back to him and in the darkness he could see tears on her cheeks, making him forget his irritation. "Carson has been family to me for the last 12 years. I know if I had a problem he would want to help, but..." She hesitated for a moment, "He has always wanted there to be more between us that I can give him. He was my father's best student and I love him dearly but... I can't give him what he wants, I just don't feel that way toward him." She was suddenly very shy in front of him. "I thought...I've always felt like I could come to you. I don't know why, but...you don't seem to be as intimidating to me as most people do."

"Now thats a change. Usually, either I irritate the hell out of people or scare them to death."

"You said I care about people...well, I do...but beyond all the jokes and everything... they scare the hell out of me. Always have. My dad said that I let people in, just so far, but then I put up a brick wall to keep them from hurting me." She sniffed and wiped her face with the back of her hand. A very childlike and endearing movement, "I don't know why I can talk to you, but I can... I hope... you don't mind."

Rodney suddenly realized that she had been doing the same thing he had been doing for most of his life, with a slight twist. While she had been hiding behind humor and that incredible smile with perfect teeth, he had been keeping people away with snide remarks and boasting of his intellectual superiority. Belittling people before they could turn and hurt him. It seemed that without actually knowing it, she had seen in him, a kindred spirit. And surprisingly enough, he had never been quite as annoyed with her as he had with everyone else at one time or other. She always answered his sarcasm with a smile and a chuckle rather than being intimidated or hurt. That had always puzzled him, but never made him want to work harder at directing his acid wit toward her. "No, I don't mind. As long as this talking thing can be reciprocal?" He gave her what he hoped was his most charming smile but was more likely his usual kinetic, nervous smirk. He just had no way with women, and he knew it.

"Deal!" She put out her hand offering to seal it with a handshake, but when he reached out and grasped it, she pulled him into a spontaneous hug, stretching up to be able to get her arms around his neck. Before he could recover from the surprise and take full advantage by wrapping his arms around her, she let go. "I guess I'd better let you go get some sleep. We'll all probably want to kick Zelenka tomorrow." She tried smiling but as her eyes met his she said quietly, "Thank you." Then she turned and walked slowly off the balcony and down the corridor.

He watched her go, but as he worried about her, he also managed to appreciate the view of her backside till she was out of his sight.