A/N: Ah-ha! You guys thought I'd forgotten about this story didn't you? Well, I hadn't, just been mad busy for the last few months what with graduating, going on holiday, on tour and finding a job! Anyway, here's the next installment. In about the next chapter or so I'm going to end this story and begin a new one for their next school year. I've thought quite a bit about the next part of this story and it's going to be quite different, darker and more complicated for everyone concerned-oh, and chapters will be longer. Ok, so I hope you enjoy this chapter and I'll try and make the next update not too long in coming!
xxx
Chapter 43: Divides
"Loath though I am to mention it, shouldn't we be heading back to Saffron and Sirius soon?"
James and Lily were sat together on the top of a sloping rock in the shelter of the cliffs at their backs. It was well into the night and the scattering of stars above them burned like white fire against the darkness of the sky. A chill wind chased over the surface of the sand and the warmth of the other's body was a welcome heat.
"James?"
"Mmm?" He nuzzled at her neck. Lily smiled and wriggled away, reaching a hand up to turn his face towards her. The look in her eyes made him pause, resolve tempered with an uncertain caution.
"We've been together for just over two months right?"
He nodded.
She paused for a moment, expression thoughtful, "That doesn't sound that long does it?" she mused, but didn't wait for James's reply, "I don't know, I guess it shouldn't matter how long we've been together, but…" she sighed exasperatedly, shaking her head, "I'm not really making much sense am I?"
James grinned at her, his smile a flash in the dark and she gave a short laugh.
"Alright, alright I'll try harder!" her lips twisted into a rueful expression, "I really want to get this right." She paused and James waited patiently, wondering what on earth had gotten her so flustered, it was a side of her he'd rarely witnessed.
"The thing is, James, that even though we might not have been together a long time I have known you for over half a year and I really want this relationship to work. So I want to tell you something- about me, I don't want to have to hide secrets from you. Because if a relationship doesn't have honesty then how can you have trust?" she pulled up short shooting James a shy grin, "I suppose I have started to ramble a bit, haven't I?"
Touched by her earnestness, James was struggling to get a grip on his feelings. He was pretty sure he knew what she was going to say and part of him was kind of humbled by the level of trust she was showing to him after such a short period of time but the other part of him couldn't decide how he should react when she told him. Should he pretend that Saffron hadn't already told him months ago, or should he pretend surprise, and if he pretended surprise should he be shocked-surprised or disbelieving-surprised or happy-surprised or…
"James, I- I'm not exactly your average witch…you see…the thing is…remember all that research I've been doing about the Moonlit Ones and the Huntress?" He nodded mutely. "Well, that wasn't really for school- I mean it was, but really it was more for me. You see I'm… I'm…I'm the Huntress." She gave a nervous laugh.
"Oh."
Oh? That's just great James!, he told himself.
"Oh? I was expecting a bit more than-"
"I mean, wow, I had no ide-" James stopped and sighed, ducking his head as he ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "Ok. Honesty, right?"
She nodded.
"Well, to tell the truth, Lily, I already know- knew I mean. That you were the Huntress."
She leaned back with a start, eyes wide, "What? How?"
"Saffron told me."
"Saffron-" Lily stood abruptly and took a few paces before turning, "Saffron told you?"
James nodded mutely, eyeing her apprehensively and hoping he hadn't just dropped his sister in it big time. Lily didn't exactly look pleased.
"How-no, when?"
"I don't remember exactly, sometime near the beginning of November, the first or the second, it was the day after we'd had Astronomy and heard those freaky noises in the forest. Doesn't really matter though, right?"
Lily looked as if she'd just been slapped, "That was-I'd only just- she-" Lily turned and stopped as if she didn't know which way to go, almost forgetting that James was there. Saffron had told James the same day, the exact same day that she had told Saffron herself. She had barely given it a thought at the time, but afterwards Lily had worried that maybe she should have kept it a secret. But she trusted Saffron, she was the best friend Lily had ever had and she never thought that Saffron would have told anyone.
She wondered how long it had taken Saffron before she'd run off to tell James. Maybe that was unfair of her but it hurt, that someone she had thought would never give her a reason not to trust them could give away something like that without a thought! She knew it had taken Lily years to finally let people in and begin to allow them to get to know her. She knew that Lily had worn the Mediocrity Charm, something that Lily now admitted had been at best ill advised, but it had been done to try and earn back the love and trust of a sister. And to think that knowing this and more that Saffron could have told James the truth of her identity as if it was no more than another piece of gossip to be passed around… If Saffron had really cared about her then surely, surely she would have spared a thought to how Lily would feel about this- this-betrayal.
And all Lily could think was it wasn't her secret to tell and I trusted her, I trusted her.
"I guess you were both having a good laugh at me behind my back, 'ha ha, stupid trusting Lily'-"
He jumped to his feet, "-No, we never-"
"All those times I fumbled for excuses for where I went and what I was doing you-" she span to face him, eyes flashing, "What was this to you? A game?"
"No! It wasn't like that, Lily, please-"
She felt her heart drop like a stone as another realisation hit her and the colour drained from her face, "You, you barely spoke to me before…I remember-"
"-Now wait just one second," James responded, his cheeks flushing with indignation, "You wore that Mediocrity Charm, how could I possibly have tried to get to know you before that?"
But Lily was too hurt to be reasonable, "You never would have looked twice at me if you hadn't have known, admit it! What was I, some sort of novelty girlfriend you could brag about to your friends, was that it?"
"That's not fair!"
"But you don't deny it! You and your friends are always-"
"Leave them out of it!" James warned.
"Fine." She span on her heel and marched off down the beach.
"Wait, Lily-" James started after her.
She turned, her gaze hard, "I had expected- I don't know what I expected, anything but this, this…mockery. I don't think I can be with you, clearly all I was to you was some sort of toy."
"Lily, that's not how I feel! I care about you, I really do. I don't care that you're the Huntress, that's not who you are."
"No, James, you're wrong. That's exactly who I am."
From behind her the white silhouette of Pegasus appeared, winging its way towards her. James just stared at her, his mind racing to find something to say to take this back, something to stop her looking at him as though she didn't know him, hadn't spent every day for the last month laughing and talking with him. The winged horse landed just behind Lily and she mounted him with ease.
"Lily, don't go, I love you."
When she turned to him her face was cold, "No, you don't. You played me for a fool, James Potter. You don't love me. You don't even respect me."
He gaped wordlessly at her as Pegasus pumped his feathered wings and bore them aloft leaving James feeling as though he'd just been swept up in a tornado. He couldn't believe that had just happened. Lily was gone and he had told her that he loved her. He didn't think the last part was really true, what did he know about love? He'd just blurted it out in the hopes that she'd stay, listen to what he had to say.
He trudged back along the beach kicking the sand into gritty clouds around his feet. What had just happened? He couldn't believe Lily had broken up with him over something that wasn't even his fault! She hadn't even tried to listen to what he had to say. The only reason that he hadn't told Lily that he knew she was the Huntress was because he wanted her to want him to know, to trust him. None of this was his fault, if anything Lily seemed at least as annoyed with Saffron as with him, why should she had been angry at him for something Saffron had done?
By now the makeshift camp they had made earlier was in sight. The bright colours of the windbreaks, muted in the dark, surrounded a dying fire which illuminated the pile of blankets and sleeping bags. Sirius sat with a blanket round his shoulder gazing into the burning embers, his expression unusually pensive. Saffron lay beside him, her eyes closed. Sirius looked up as he approached.
"What's up?" he asked at the look on James's face.
"I don't want to talk about it," James replied shortly.
Sirius frowned, "James."
"I said I don't want to talk about it!"
Sirius raised his hands in surrender and looked back the way James had come, "Where's Lily?"
"Gone."
"Gone? Where? What happened?"
James sat on the edge of the mat, pulling his shoes off in short savage motions, "We had a fight. Well, more like she shouted at me and then took off."
"But where did she go? I can tell you're mad at her but shouldn't we go and find her, make sure she's-"
"Lily's fine. Which is more than I can say for our relationship."
"You broke up?" Sirius said in loud astonishment. Beside him Saffron stirred. He lowered his voice, "What on earth happened?"
"Never date red-heads, that's all I can say." James tugged angrily at the zip on his sleeping bag as he tried to pull it up. "Women, why does everything have to be such a bloody drama with them?"
Sirius tried not to laugh at the sight of his best friend struggling with the zip. "I'm sure Lily didn't mean it. Maybe you heard her wrong."
"'You played me for a fool, James Potter'", he mimicked in an absurdly whiny tone.
Sirius let out a snort of laughter, "What was she talking about?"
"Ah well, this is the best bit. Saffron told me something that Lily didn't want her to and because I didn't tell her I knew suddenly she can't trust me anymore and our whole relationship was a farce!"
"What? That's crazy! It doesn't make any sense at all!"
James nodded his assent vigorously, "Try telling her that!"
"Lily's not normally unreasonable, maybe she'll realise she wasn't being fair and this'll all blow over."
"I don't know." James let out a sigh of exasperation and sank back onto his pillows, "Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and this'll just have been some crazy dream. Night, Sirius."
"Night," Sirius echoed.
Touching down on the lawn at the back of her home, Lily felt strangely deflated; all the indignation and anger she had felt during her argument with James had drained away leaving her feeling numb. She had broken up with him. It didn't seem real. Everything had been going so well, it had been working, she knew it had. But all that was just an elaborate illusion, she reminded herself.
As Pegasus disappeared into the breaking dawn she let herself into the house, slowly making her way up the familiar staircase to her room. It was strange to think that this would be her last summer here. But it wasn't really her home anymore. It hadn't been since the day she had received her owl. She belonged in the wizarding world, and come graduation she would find a place of her own to live.
Somewhere she had thought she would share with Saffron, Lily thought with a sigh, sinking down onto her bed. Looking around her gaze lighted on a photo taken of her and Saffron the previous Christmas. They were sat in front of the fire in the Ravenclaw common room, Saffron hugging her enthusiastically with both arms, laughing as Lily grinned happily at the camera. Lily turned her head quickly from the sight as her eyes began to sting. Things were such a mess! Saffron had been her best friend, her first real friend and she had trusted her implicitly. Not only that, but she was an Amazon, one of the Huntress's chosen helpers, how was Lily to rely on her in times of need when Saffron had already betrayed her trust without a second thought?
Lily couldn't even begin to think how she was to find a solution to all this. The early morning rays were already beginning to stream in though her window and she had yet to go to sleep. Just before she pulled her curtains to get some sleep she scribbled two notes; one for her parents which she pushed under their door to let them know she was home, and the other she gave to her owl to take to the Potters, she didn't want to speak to Saffron or James but their parents deserved to know that she was safe.
Saffron woke with a shiver. Her blankets had slid down to the top of her legs during the night and the morning air was chill. The first thing she was aware of was a pounding headache. Then the events of the previous night came flooding back in a wash of sharp images and colours. Lily. She sat bolt upright and immediately regretted it. She sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth and her eyes watered in pain. Clutching her head in one hand she looked around for Lily, hoping to find her lying next to her or further down the beach.
With a sick jolt to the stomach Saffron realised that Lily was nowhere nearby. James and Sirius were asleep either side of her, her brother frowning in his sleep and Sirius with his arms thrown out with the kind of reckless abandon that was so characteristic of him. But Lily, Lily wasn't there. A number of options rushed though her mind: wake James, call for her, search for her yourself. The first two didn't seem particularly palatable options, the few times she'd tried to wake her brother from the kind of sleep he was in now she'd narrowly escaped a black eye.
The hand that wasn't clutching her head strayed absently to the crescent pendant round her neck. She hadn't tried to deliberately find Lily in this way before, sure she'd instinctively channelled something when the Hogwarts Express had been attacked but she hadn't really known what she was doing. The metal didn't feel the way it had then so she felt it could be safely assumed that Lily wasn't in any mortal danger. But all the same Saffron wanted to make sure that Lily was ok, that she had succeeded in her task. So she drew her legs up and rested her aching head in her knees, one fist around the pendant pressed close against her chest. Taking a deep breath she exhaled slowly and sought to feel the same kind of insistent tugging she'd experienced before. Eyes tightly shut, Saffron felt rather like she was trying to see as far as she could in all directions without opening her eyes. Nothing happened. Relaxing her grip on the pendant a little she tried to think what she could be doing wrong. It had seemed the right way to go about it; after all, it made sense to her that to look for something you should use your eyes.
After several more tries her head hurt too much to continue and she gave a frustrated sigh.
"James, wait!"
Saffron's feet slipped and stumbled on the dry, dusty pathway sending clouds of sand and tiny stones skittering away. The heel of her left hand was already grazed and throbbing slightly from her careless attempt to keep up with her brother who strode along on longer legs in front, but she hurried on stubbornly, a determined set to her face.
"James-"
"What? What?" he demanded viciously, turning abruptly on his heel. "What could you possibly want?"
She stopped, eyes widening in the face of his fury, but she squared her shoulders and walked towards him, "What's wrong, James? Why did you snap at me like that on the beach? And where's Lily?"
"What's wrong James? Why did you snap at me? Where's Lily?" he mimicked.
"James."
He stared at her for a moment, shook his head and turned again. Saffron reached out and grabbed his arm; she wasn't going to be put off this easily.
"What is it, James? You're never this mad without a reason, and as far as I'm aware I haven't done anyth-"
"'As far as you're aware'," he laughed shortly, shaking his arm free, "That's so typical of you, Saffron, you just blunder through life without a thought for the consequences of the things you do! Merlin forbid you and Sirius ever have children!"
"James…" her tone was different this time, hurt, but he charged on regardless; unable to stop and filled with a guilty vindictive pleasure at the look on his sister's face.
"You think you're so perfect, the answer to all my problems-"
"James, that's not fair!"
"'Just tell me what's wrong James', you always have to know everything, think you've the answer to everything- well, you're a Ravenclaw, of course you have the best solution, right? Right?" His voice reached an angry crescendo, his hurt and frustration at Lily and Saffron directed fully at his sister.
"Now, wait just a second-"
"Well, I've got news for you, little sister. You'd better wise-up fast and think about someone other that yourself."
"What are you talking about, James?" Her eyes narrowed.
"And another thing, just because I'm your brother doesn't mean that I always want to hear ever little detail of your life- I don't! You think I honestly care about all that trivia you prattle on about?" He paused for a moment, taking in her look of astonishment.
"Just what is your problem, James?" Saffron replied angrily. "How dare you make out that telling each other things is me foisting useless nonsense on you! As I recall this is a two way street."
"Not anymore!" He turned to go.
"James-" Saffron reached out and grabbed his arm.
He tore it roughly from her grip, "For once, can't you just leave me alone? You're always there, tugging at my coattails! Well I'm done coddling you. Stand on your own two feet; you shouldn't need me anymore and I certainly don't need you!" He shoved her away hard. Saffron stumbled back, feet slipping on the scattering of grit and pebbles underfoot and landed heavily on her behind.
"Impedimenta!"
Quick as a flash a bolt of red light shot through the air. James froze, immobilised.
"Expelliarmus!" Sirius came sprinting up the path, wand outstretched. Saffron's wand soared out of her hand, hurtling through the air to where Sirius caught it with his free hand.
"Finite Incantatem." Sirius came to a panting halt next to them, offering Saffron his hand as he released James from her spell.
Scrambling to her feet on her own Saffron dusted the grit from her hands and clothes, avoiding looking James in the eye.
"What's going on here?" Sirius demanded, looking from one to the other.
"Nothing," James replied defensively.
Sirius snorted, "Right, Saffron cursed you for nothing."
"Whose side are you on anyway?" James crossed his arms, still glowering at Saffron.
"When have I not been on your side?" Sirius responded, casting an uneasy glance at Saffron.
"Have it your way!" She snapped, glaring angrily at James with suspiciously bright eyes before breaking into a run along the path to the villa.
She stormed up the path, angrily wiping tears from her eyes. If Sirius hadn't turned up then she would have stayed and given James a piece of her mind. She fumed at the memory of what he had said to her- how dare he! But she couldn't have done anything with Sirius there. This wasn't any of his business and besides, she hated the thought of him being against her like that. She wasn't sure which would have been worse, for him to have sided with James and added his own weight to the argument or if he had sided with her…
She shook her head and pulled the back door open. Dumping her bags by the door she headed through to the hallway.
A tall figure with broad shoulders and a narrow waist turned as she crossed through the open doorway. The cut of the dark blue robes he wore, slightly outdated but obviously well made, said he was from an old and probably wealthy wizarding family. He looked vaguely familiar, but she couldn't quite place a name to the young face, grinning roguishly at her.
"Little Potter, unless I'm very much mistaken." He held out a hand then frowned slightly, "I say, are you alright?"
"Fine." She rubbed her eyes roughly, "Just tired."
"Late night?"
"Yeah," she replied, missing the suggestion in his tone for a moment. Then her cheeks flushed, "I mean no, well, what I mean to say is that yes I did have a late night, but no, not in the way you- Ugh." She threw up her hands in frustration and glared as he started to laugh.
"Fabian," A voice sounded from the next room, "have you asked Myron about whether he's given any more thought to-"
"Hey, Gid," Fabian interrupted loudly, his eyes darting momentarily to Saffron, "come see who's all grown up- Little Potter!"
There was a pause before a second man entered the room. He looked a lot like Fabian, Saffron thought, but older, with a more serious set to his light brown eyes. She'd bet her broom they were brothers. And whatever he had been about to ask Fabian about her dad, she obviously wasn't supposed to know about.
"Well, Saffron Potter," he smiled, a more brotherly expression than Fabian's frankly appraising one, "the last time I saw you was at the party mum and dad threw for my OWLs, you'd have been, what? Eight?"
Saffron shrugged, wracking her brains for who these two could be. They obviously knew her and she felt it rude to tell them that she hadn't the faintest idea who they were.
"Ah, Saffron dear, there you are, did you have a nice evening?" Without waiting for a reply Daniella Potter turned to the older brother, "Gideon, would you and your brother see that the children get home safely."
Saffron's momentary flash of indignation at being called a child vanished as she caught her mother's expression; lines, drawn tight around her eyes betrayed deep anxiety and, to Saffron's horror, fear. It gripped her stomach with an icy fist, what was wrong?
"Mum?" She couldn't help but wish that hadn't come out so much like a lost child, but it was a long time since she had seen that expression on her mother's face. She felt Gideon and Fabian's eyes turn towards her as her mother hurried towards her, the reassuring smile at odds with her worried eyes.
"It's alright, dear, just a bit of bad news is all. But I'm afraid we're going to have to cut our holiday short. Your father and I are needed back at home." She put an arm around Saffron, drawing her into a hug.
"I'm not a child, you know." Saffron grumbled into her mother's shoulder, one hand clutching her tightly all the same.
Drawing back Daniella sighed and looked at her daughter, "I know you aren't, but you'll always be my little girl." She touched her cheek lightly, "Where's your brother, and Sirius?"
"Coming," was Saffron's flat reply, only Fabian caught the flash of pain in her eyes as she turned to look out of the window.
Another time Danielle would have picked up on her tone, but her head was already too full of half formed plans, each one frustrated by lack of knowledge. Things were getting out of control much too fast for her liking, whatever The Daily Prophet said.
"Gideon, would you mind going and hurrying the boys along?" She tried to keep her voice mild, unconcerned, "We really should start making a move." Her feet itched to run out the door until she found her two sons, in thought if not in blood. But for the moment secrecy was her orders, even though they would all hear rumours of it in the next few weeks, even though the restriction chafed.
With the ease of a man used to orders Gideon nodded once and headed towards the back door with little more than a brief question directed at Saffron concerning where she had left them. Myron entered the room, his dark cloak already settled round his shoulders, he had the air of a being ready to spring into action at a second's notice- not the kind of trait commonly associated with those who worked in the Department of Mysteries, but then Myron was not a common man.
"Sorry you have to leave so soon, love," he said, directing his comments at Saffron, whose expression still hovered between wanting to demand more information and a naïve, vulnerable look that said she wanted to be reassured and looked after.
Saffron had always been like that, fiercely independent to anyone other than those who knew her the best. They never saw the momentary backward glances to check her brother was following her as she scaled the highest tree in the park; the unconscious look for approval whenever she talked about the new topic she wanted to pick which wasn't on her project list for her favourite subject. She reminded Daniella of a falcon brought up in captivity; always wanting to fly, raising wings to soar higher than any other bird around, but one eye on the ground to where the falconer stood with his arm out-raised so she always had a safe place to land.
"Come on, Daniella," her husband held out her cloak, "we don't want to keep the others waiting." Catching her longing glance out the window to where Gideon could just be seen disappearing out of sight down the hill, he added, "We'll drop by and see the children once the initial briefing's been given."
She sighed, "Very well." She swung her cloak on, fastening the silver clasp as she turned to the younger Prewitt, "I'll leave Saffron in your capable hands." She dropped a swift kiss on Saffron's head, "I expect I'll see you at dinner." With a last glance at her daughter, she nodded to her husband and disapperated.