When the War is Over: Chapter Thirteen
(I don't own any copyrights to the Harry Potter series, or anything to do with it. I also don't own any copyrights to the Beetles song 'Yesterday', or anything to do with it).
Yesterday All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay Oh I believe in yesterday...
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me...
Why she had to go I don't know
She wouldn't say I said something wrong
Now I long For yesterday.
My mind clears; I feel the drain of energy in my body as though I'd been hit with a thousand boulders, and I've staggered my way to safety, only to find that it's not so safetey after all. I can't make my eyes leave her still body; I can't make my body move towards her. My heart refuses to beat, and my mind can't process any of this.
Ron is here. Hermione is here. Harry is not here. Harry would never have killed his girlfriend. He would never be unable to make his body move if he did something like that. Ron, with Hermione's help, is gently lifting her down. Her ruined figure, bulging...? I feel dirty watching them take her down, my body springs into action!
"Don't touch her!" I scream, flinging myself on top of her, suddenly mad as the grief overwhelms me.
"I have to get her down mate!" Ron can't seem to make his tone very angry, through the tears. Hermione has collapsed on the ground, unable to move, the sobs visibly racking her body. Ron looks at me, and I nod; He tries to console Hermione while I gently look over Ginny.
Ginny...I know the sobs are racking my body too. The shock subsides, but the pain lingers, hot and sharp. I tenderly brush aside a few coppery tendrils of hair, plastered to her forehead by the rain. No more blood flows from the wound in her bulging stomach. Strangely, my voice mirrors perfect calm.
"She was pregnant?"
Ron freezes, and Hermione, bursts into sobs all over again. Ron looks away sharply, tears staining his own face, mud splattered all over his and Hermione's clothes.
"A few weeks after she got back together with you," he replies.
I brush her face with a tender, parting kiss. I know what I have to do. I know what this war is about. I stand up, feeling the constant weight of the world on my shoulders. Mourn for her later, I tell myself, there will be plenty of time to mourn for them later...
"Are you going to finish it?" Ron asks grimly.
"I have to," is all I reply, and I walk away from her. I can't look back, if I do, I won't be able to go on.
"I'm coming with you." I know arguments will be a waste of time. This is my fault, and Ron has a right to his vengeance.
"Hermione," I can't look at her, I'll fall apart if I do, "go back to the order. Tell them what happened here. Tell them-- tell them the Chosen One is going to finish it once and for all."
"But--"
"Go!" I shout, meaning for my voice, my demeanor, to be harsh. Ron gives me a sharp glance, but nods. I don't hear her leave; I walk on, with Ron striding silently at my side. I'll kill him. I'll kill him for my own Mum and Dad, I'll kill him for Sirius, for Dumbledore, and for them... I'll kill him for every single life he has taken away. When I finish, it won't matter if I get out of here, I'm going to be with her, one way or another.
I don't know how I knew where I was going, so much of the past months have been a fog, but I know when I reach that circular dome, that he is waiting inside.
The doors creek open; He stands in the center of the room, laughing maliciously.
"I see you've awoken. Pity, I enjoyed the idea of your servitude for eternity."
"Draw--- Your--- Wand---" I command. He laughs again.
"Have it your way then." He swings around and launches a well aimed fireball at my chest.
I manage to duck just in time, feeling the scorched hairs on my arm. Ron tosses a fireball back, and Voldemort dodges it easily.
"I'm going to kill you, for what you've done to my sister," he screams.
"I'll do much worse to the rest of your family, I promise," Voldemort laughs. He twitches his wand in a strange fashion, and more fireballs launch from it's tip.
Stone debris crumbles around us, and I throw myself on top of Ron to shield him from it. Pain rips through my body; I feelhis curse tear through every fiber of my body, forcing my movements to Voldemort's will. He laughs, and I feel a force gripping my throat; It lifts me off of Ron and dangles me in the air. Black flecks swim before my eyes, I-- can't--- breathe---
Voldemort screams, and flings me to the ground. Ron has just launched another fireball, and it's hit him directly in the face; His skin crackles, and falls away. A rancid smell permeates the room, and I have to clutch my mouth or vomit. Voldemort raises his hands to his face, and seems to feel his way along invisible seams, before tearing the rest of the charred skin away. Underneath is a shiny, pink, new face, just like his old one. With a flick of his wand, he disarms Ron, and with another, flings him back against the wall; Menacingly, he takes a step towards Ron, when suddenly a great cry fills the air.
Looking up, we see a red phoenix soaring towards us; In it's talons it carries a gleaming sword. It cries out again, sweeps down, and drops the sword before my feet.
"Phawkes?" I whisper, "I thought you died!"
Phawkes eyes me, and than sweeps back into the sky. Without a moment's hesitation, I bend and grab the sword. I take a fighting stance, and watch as Voldemort sweeps across the room towards me; He smoothly pulls a sword out of thin air, that just the opposite of mine: black, with flames licking it's blade.
"Shall we?" He offers, and I charge him.
He brings his sword up and I duck back, to avoid slicing my stomach open. The sword's barest touch burns a sliver of a line across my chest, tearing though my shirt, and leaving raw skin in it's wake. I immediately feint for his knees, and when he tries to block, I bring my sword up and try to slice across his chest. He parry me easily, and we are suddenly blade-locked. With all my force, I try to force the X our blades make closer to his neck, but he forces me back and I stumble. He takes advantage of this and swings for my head, I land on my back, just barely parrying his sword with one arm. With a menacing smile he pushes his sword closer to my neck; Closer, closer-- an inch from my neck-- half an inch-- a sliver-- My arm trembles under the pressure, and I know any moment I'm going to die.
Voldemort backs off suddenly, and a fireball blasts between us. Ron staggers to his feet, and charges him.
"Ron no!" I scream. Voldemort tries to run him through with his sword, but Ron twists to the side at the last moment, spinning around and jabbing his wand into the back of Voldemort's neck. I see the breifest look of surprise cross Voldemort's face.
"Avara-- Kedavara--!" He hisses, and a blast of light erupts form the end of Ron's wand. Voldemort screams and he seems to explode all at once, tissue and blood splatter everything! I duck, and cover my face, his blood burns like acid on my skin.
The sudden silence is deafening. I look up, to see Ron's eyes, wide with shock, his body coated in matter to grotesque to comprehend! He looks at his wand in confusion, as though he has no idea how to use it. I rise, wanting to help him, when suddenly a black figure seems to coalesce from the matter splattered all over the floor.
"Look out!" I shriek, and I snatch my sword from the floor and charge for Ron. With one hand I toss Ron to the side, and with the other arm I run Voldemort through with my sword. The matter, the half-formed Voldemort seems to shatter into a thousand pieces like glass! There is an explosion of light, and a harsh wind seems to rise from out of nowhere, whipping my skin like a thousand needles. Horrendous screams cloud the air, I have to drop my the sword and cover my ears or be deafened by it! The half-formed Voldemort staggers backwards, the sword that I lodged in his chest swinging wildly. He seems to convulse, and than suddenly stand still; Pieces of glass fire in a thousand directions, I feel them pierce my chest, my blood flows freely from my body. I am blinded by the light, deafened by the noise, and wounded beyond healing. My last thoughts are...Ginny...I'm coming, wait for me!
It could have been an hour, a day, or several years. I don't feel the passing of time in this place. The air is still here, warm and white and welcoming. I feel her presence nearby, even though I can't see her.
"Are we dead?" I ask.
"Do you want to be?" She replies.
"Can't I stay here with you?" I beg.
"And do what?"
"Stay here with you--" I repeat.
"The trouble with you Harry," she lectures, "is that your so determined to do things on your own-- your so determined that no one should suffer on your accoun-- that you've forgotten."
"Forgotten what?" I ask.
"Everyone who ever loved you did what they did exactly because of that."
"Did what?"
"You know."
"You know," I sigh, "I don't know--"
"Don't give up so easily! Whatever you do, don't give up--"
I feel her presence fading, I feel the pain in my body, and I can hear the voices of the people around me crying. I don't want to go, but she won't let me stay.
"I don't want to go--" I start to say, but it's as though a warmth was sweeping through my body, like one of our many tender kisses.
"I love you---" She whispers, and it's as though I can see her, looking anxious, looking scared, motioning for me to stay, to go back to the world. Her beautiful red hair bounces on her shoulders; She holds her protruding stomach with a motherly stomach. "I love you--"
"I will---" but she's so far away, so faint, I don't get to finish.
"Harry!" I can hear Ron, but I come back slowly, unwillingly.
"What?" I mumble, he's been shaking me harshly for several minutes, "what--- WHAT?"
Ron stumbles backwards in astonishment. "Sorry mate!" He breathes, "I didn'tsee you'd woken up!"
I sit up slowly, my body aching in a thousand tiny places. The force of Ginny's death burns in the pit of my stomach.
"Sorry mate," I say, "I didn't mean to scare you. How long was I out?"
"Doesn't matter," he replies, "let's just get the heck out of here."
"Sure," I don't care if I'm here or there. I don't care where I go or what I do from this moment on, because she's dead... I wanted to die Ginny, I wanted to die and stay there with you...
The courtyard is untouched, and I take Ginny's lifeless body tenderly in my arms. The rain has stopped, and the clouds have cleared, cruelly revealing a perfect blue sky. The sunlight warms my body, and falls upon Ginny's features, so perfect, so perfect.
"Look!" Ron points to the sky, and we can see a group of people preparing to land. Soon, we're surrounded by a somber group of order members. I am cradling Ginny near my chest, and I am about to say something, when suddenly I feel the slightest of kicks from Ginny's stomach. Glancing down, I feel my breath catch; I can hardly dare to hope--!
"She's still alive!" Someone shouts, studying her carefully, "and I think she's ready to deliver!"
The next days of my life are a hell, and a joy.
At St. Mungo's I pace nervously outside of the delivery room. Ron and Hermione try desperately to remain calm, but I can see their anxiety, and I know why. Ginny was so far gone when we brought her in, that we didn't know if either of them would make it.
The doors swing open, and a pristine looking nurse marches out. Nervously, I try to flatten my hair, but as usual it never works.
"Mr. Potter?" She states, and I nod. "Come with me," and she twirls on her heels and marches through the double doors. Nervously, I follow. On my in, I bump into someone, who seems in a hurry to get out. He's gone so fast that I don't have time to excuse myself.
She leads me to a room, and motions for me to enter. Inside, I see a group of doctors and nurses gathered around Ginny's bed. They turn when I enter, and grins break out all over their faces.
"Mr. Potter," one of them says, "congratulations, your a father. It's a girl."
I feel my knees buckle, and I rush to her bedside. Ginny is frail looking, pale, yet she cradles our daughter in her arms as protectively as though Voldemort might walk through the door at any moment. My heart melts as I see our beautiful little girl wave her fists, and gurgle.
"She's beautiful--" I breathe, and Ginny kisses her forehead lovingly. One of the doctors lifts her up gently, and I cradle her in my arms. I stroke tiny hercheek and she turns her delicate mouth and sucks on my finger, gripping it with her fragile little fist. "Daddy's here," I coo, "Daddy's here, and he loves you so much!"
"What are we going to name her?" Ginny whispers.
"Rachel," it suddenly comes to mind, "we'll call her Rachel."
Ginny leans back on her pillows tiredly, "Rachel Potter," she tries, "it's beautiful!"
Rachel is so little, so precious, with a shock of pitch black hair and bright green eyes. Soon, she falls asleep in my arms, and the nurses take her away to the nursery. Sitting down next to Ginny, we're finally alone.
"You know," I let the fear lace my voice, "I didn't know if you were going to make it..."
"You doubt things so easily," she smiles, and in her eyes I see all I've ever wanted, or will ever want again."
"I was so scared," I take her hand and kiss it softly, so afraid that she might suddenly dissappear.
"I wasn't," she says bravely, and I love the way she's always so brave, "I knew you'd rescue me."
"But I hurt you," I feel a few tears slide down my cheeks, "I hurt the one person I was trying to protect the most!"
"I love you," she looks me deeply in the eyes.
"Look," I tryto compose myself, wanting this to be perfect, "I wanted to wait until you were out of the hospital, but I just can't-- So I'm going to do this now, and if you don't want to answer right away, than I'll understand."
"Do what?" She asks.
Form inside my pocket, I pull out a little box. Opening it up, her eyes widen as she sees the glitter of the ring.
"Will you marry me?" I breathe.
She suddenly grabs me and pulls me on down top of her, crying out in joy and kissing me all over my face! I laugh and turn my head, kissing her on the lips; A kiss that sweeps through me.
"Of course I will!" She laughs, happy tears falling down her face.
Her heart monitor suddenly starts beeping louder. I feel her grip on the back of neck slipping, and I pull back, looking at her worriedly. Alarm bells ring in my head as I see her eyes rolling back in her head! Her heart monitor begins to beep insanely fast, I dash out into the hallway and shout for help!
Within minutes, I've been ushered into the hallway, allowed to watch through the windows as they frantically try to calm her heartbeat! Doctors are scrambling around the room, all kinds of strange instruments are being used on her, magical and non-magical.
Unable to stand it a moment longer I try to rush back into the room, but the nurses drag me out into the hallway. Suddenly, Hermione and Ron appear by my side and try to restrain me!
"Let me go!" I scream, "I need to go to her!"
"Harry, it's to late," Hermione is sobbing again, "Harry-- she's gone!"
"What do you mean gone?" I shove my way through the doctors and nurses; Ginny lies still in the hospital bed, the diamond ring on her finger glinting in the sunlight pouring through the windows. I can barely comprehend that only a few minutes ago we were kissing, and talking about getting married. Glass shatters!-- I feel blood pouring down my hand, and a few nurses jump back, startled. I've just punched the glass window with my fist, shattering it, and cutting myself badly in the process.
"Harry!" Hermione shouts.
"WHAT--- HAPPENED---" I can barely talk, my teeth are clenched so tightly; I feel anger coursing though my body. How dareyou give her to me, only to take her away again! Do you think you can keep her from me this time! I shout inside my head.
"Heart failure," one of the doctors says grimly, coming into the hallway, "her heart simply failed her."
"Mate," Ron is saying, while Hermione tugs on my arm, "don't be like this. What about your daughter?"
Rachel...I could never forget about you, I think, Ginny why did you have to leave me?