I'm 100 sorry that I didn't update often guys. Also, I know you probably hate hearing this but a few more chapters and this story's over! Don't worry guys; a sequel's coming up called Parents vs. Kids!
Detergent Recipe
"DASH!"
Dash groaned. Oh please, tell me I imagined that. The last thing I need is a telling off from mom! Unfortunately, things are not going to work out for Dash.
Helen stuck her head in Dash's room. "Dash, you left the tap on after washing the dishes! Do you know just how much money we need to pay the water company now?"
"12 bucks?" Dash asked, not looking up from his comics.
"No, they're not going to ask for 12 bucks!" Helen scowled and then left his room.
"Use the monopoly money; I heard a factory made an edition where the money's exactly the same as the ones we use." Dash called out to his mom.
He waited until Helen was well out of earshot, then Dash pulled out a scrap of paper from his drawer and scribbled on it furiously.
Who: I think you know who…
What: Uh, pull a prank on her, duh!
Where: ...
When: You know, I actually don't know…
Why: 'Cause she's my "sister"
How: Well, let's see, I can first wrap her in one of those green garbage bags, dig up a hole in the ground somewhere, get her in there and fill the hole up with, let me see, detergent! Wait a minute, what is detergent?
Dash scratched his head, confused. He had only heard the word detergent when Helen told Violet not to put too much detergent into something. It must be something bad then; he thought and went off to find out what detergent is.
"Hey mom," Dash asked Helen. She was cooking while talking on the phone.
"Yes?" She said to the phone but Dash though Helen was speaking to him.
"What's detergent?" Dash asked.
"Oh, I know alright," Helen continued to talk to the phone (she can't hear Dash over the cooking noise). "It's these things mixed together to make a really gross substance."
Whoa, no wonder my mom doesn't want Violet to put too much detergent in something; Dash thought, bewildered. Why would anybody even put any on?
"What do you use?" Dash asked, trying not to act disgusted.
"Eggs, milk, freezing cold water, ice cubes, honey, olive oil, onion juice and bubble gum flavoured toothpaste?" Helen cried (to the phone, not to Dash!).
Unfortunately, Dash didn't catch the 8 question marks at the end of the sentence so he thought that was what detergent was made of.
"That's all very well but of course, you can use more stuff in it. It just shouldn't start with an 'E'." Helen concluded to the phone.
"Right, thanks mom," Dash nodded and hurried to the bathroom to barf.
After that disgusting moment, Dash decided to lock the vomit in a sealed bag. "Maybe I can use this," Dash exclaimed as he examined his vomit (ugh!). "After all, it doesn't start with an 'E'!"
Dash thought about the "detergent" he was going to make and barfed again.
"Mom, has Dash touched my door?" Violet asked Helen (who's still on the phone and yes, she's not going to be able to hear Violet).
"No," Helen said to the phone.
"Ok, thanks mom!" Violet's brow furrowed. I know for a fact that Dash is going to pull a prank on me but I'm going to stop him. "Did he say anything to you?"
"Yes indeed," Helen exclaimed in excitement.
"Really? What did he say?" Violet said excitedly.
"He's actually going into the kitchen. Well, that's news Tina." Helen cracked 2 eggs and poured them into a cooking pot.
"Violet," Violet corrected her mom.
"Oh, I'm sorry; I didn't know that would happen." Helen apologised (if you're still wondering, you can stop wondering; Helen is still talking to the phone).
"That's okay; what's he going to do?" Violet asked.
"He was making salad," Helen nodded. "Yes, yes, it's a good thing he hasn't thrown it at anybody's head yet."
Whoa, Dash is going to throw a salad at my head? Violet thought. Well I'd better protect my head then. "Thanks mom,"
"Anytime now, Tina," Helen smiled.
"Violet!" She cried.
"Oh, right," Helen nodded to the phone.
Violet just shook her head and left.
Hm, I wonder when Dash is going to throw this salad at my head. Violet turned around the corner and bumped into Dash.
"Hey, watch it, tin head!" Violet snarled and saw Dash's vomit in a plastic bag. "Why are you keeping your vomit?"
"I'm not," Dash pushed Violet aside and left for his room.
Looks like Dash wants to throw that "treasured possession" at somebody, Violet thought. Ha, too bad for Dash! I'm already two steps ahead of him. If only I know exactly when he's going to plan his oh-so-amazing trick on me.
Okay, my plan's not 100 complete yet, I still need some stuff to make detergent. I should make a list. Dash got out another piece of paper and wrote on it:
Stuff to Use on Violet:
-vomit (done)
-eggs
-milk
-freezing cold water
-ice cubes
-honey
-olive oil
-onion juice
-bubble gum flavoured toothpaste
-ranch dressing
-salt and pepper
-my dad's shaving cream
-tomato sauce
-mouth wash
-talcum powder
-flour
-mashed bananas
-cucumber juice
"Finished," Dash cried, putting down his pencil. "Now, getting all these ingredients is going to take all day. I'd better do it at night, then. Say, 12:00. And the backyard should be the perfect place."
Dash set his alarm clock at 12:00 am and then hurried off to find some eggs.
When Dash rushed off to the kitchen, Violet tiptoed into his room to see when he was going to plan his act. She checked out what time he was going to do it.
"12:00 am!" Violet cried. "That is so late! I'd better change my alarm clock to that as well."
She was about to leave when a piece of paper caught her attention. "What's this?"
Violet picked it up and read it. "Stuff to use on Violet: vomit, eggs, milk, freezing cold water…"
Right when she saw the dressing part, she knew Dash was trying to make a salad. "Looks like my hunch is correct, oh yeah!" Violet cheered and left Dash's room. "But I'm still winning,"
After rummaging around in the fridge (Helen was in the bathroom), Dash finally found a carton of eggs and a jug of milk. He opened it and sniffed.
"I think this is past its date already," Dash announced to no one particularly. He checked the date to be sure. Yup, it read February 12th 2004. Today was March 7th.
"Whoa, this is pretty old," Dash carried all this to his room.
When he dumped it on his bed, Dash rushed to the garage for the hose. He sprayed the cold water in the same bucket Violet used for her water balloons. When it reached to the top, Dash turned off the hose and heaved the bucket to his room.
"Now for the ice cubes," Dash got out the ice cube tray and filled it with tap water. After making sure he turned it off, Dash put it in the freezer for a couple of minutes.
When they were done, Dash had already collected the honey, olive oil, onion juice ("I will not cry, I will not-rats, I'm crying) and the bubble gum flavoured toothpaste.
"Mom, do we have any ranch dressing?" Dash asked Helen.
"Nope, why?" Helen asked.
"Oh, I just wanted to make some salad." Dash said quickly.
"Well then you can't make any salad because we don't have any." Helen said.
"Okay, okay," Dash hurried out of the kitchen to find his list.
After modifying it, it now looked like this:
Stuff to Use on Violet:
-vomit (done)
-eggs (done)
-milk (done)
-freezing cold water (done)
-ice cubes (done)
-honey (done)
-olive oil (done)
-onion juice (done)
-bubble gum flavoured toothpaste (done)
-glue
-salt and pepper
-my dad's shaving cream
-tomato sauce
-mouth wash
-talcum powder
-flour
-mashed bananas
-cucumber juice
"There, all better," Dash smirked. "I like glue better than salad dressing, actually. Also," He got out a bottle. "I have it already," Dash marked it as "done".
After retrieving the correct substances, Dash got out a large shovel and went to the backyard. "Now, how wide should the hole?"
"What eez eet?" Edna asked.
"I just want you to make me some normal clothes that can withstand a ranch salad." Violet said smoothly.
"And why?" Edna asked suspiciously.
"Oh, will you just do it?" Violet asked irritably.
"Ok, ok, you can pick eet up at 10:30pm." Edna shooed Violet out of her house.
"I'm finally finished!" Dash cried, leaning on the shovel.
He had dug an 8ft x 3ft hole all afternoon. It was now 5:56pm, almost time for dinner.
Dash quickly stored the shovel back into the garage and went to wash his hands. On the way, he bumped into Violet again.
"Uh, Dash-" Violet started but he interrupted.
"If you're here to scorn about something, you can leave." Dash said roughly.
"It's not that-" She began.
"Then what?" Dash asked.
"It has to do with your-"
"Oh no, not the usual string of insults!"
"No, Dash-"
"Violet, I've got a lot of things to do-"
"Look!"
Violet held up a mirror and Dash looked at himself. Right on his head was a pile of dirt. "Oh,"
"Trying out for a new look, eh?" Violet smirked and left.
"Argh!" Dash dunked his head in cold water.
"Violet, where's Dash?" Helen asked at the dinner table.
"Washing his hair," Violet replied, sticking her fork into the usual meatloaf they ate.
"Why?" Helen inquired.
"He tried to live like a dog," Was all Violet said.
Dash finally got rid of the mud and went to eat dinner.
"Hi mom, hi dad, bye Violet," Dash said.
"Dash!" Helen cried.
"What?" Dash asked.
"Oh never mind," Helen rolled her eyes.
There was silence at the table. Helen was trying to feed Jack-Jack, Violet was jabbing her fork at her meatloaf, Bob was reading the newspaper (as usual) and Dash was picking at his lettuce.
Helen sighed. "Bob,"
"What?" He asked, not looking up from his paper.
"How many times do I have to say this, do not read the newspaper when eating!" Helen put down Jack-Jack's spoon and picked up her fork.
"Ok," Bob continued to read the newspaper. Helen groaned and ate her own portion of food.
After supper, Dash rushed into his room and brought out all his stuff he had hidden in his closet.
"I'd better put all this in the backyard." Dash ran at triple speed, moving all the stuff from his room.
"I'm going out mom; I'll be back at 11:00. Just need to pick up something from E's." Violet called out from the front door.
"And where on earth are you-" But Violet was already out the door before Helen could finish.
"Kids," Helen muttered under her breath.
Note: Whatcha think? Yup, the next chapter gonna have the BIG hit!