A/N: I decided to repost this, utilizing the chapter feature. I'm planning to release it a little at a time, in case this is your first time reading it. Some chapters are really short, so some will have 3-4 chapters in the same grouping. This was written over about two weeks, most of which was spent in a gorgeous coastal Maine house in January with no heat. One can write a lot on a laptop next to a fireplace.
Chapter 1
Angel
awoke suddenly and looked out the window of the tiny plane. It was
the first time she'd been airborne, and she was shocked she'd been
able to sleep. She'd been both exalted and terrified for the first
hour of the flight from New York to Orlando. Now that they were
nearing San Juan, she couldn't keep her eyes open. The woman seated
next to her had stared openly at her face the moment she'd sat down.
Angel had spoken pleasantly to her for awhile and she had warmed
considerably. Now Angel played with the rings on her first finger and
wished she had her real clothes on. The woman was staring again, and
Angel felt exposed. The older woman seemed to sense that there was
something different about this thin young man sitting next to her. He
was dressed fairly normally, in faded jeans, a t-shirt, and a light
jacket, too warm for late spring this far South, but he still seemed
to shiver.
"Are you ok?" she asked. She had a fairly
thick Southern accent. Georgia maybe, Angel guessed.
"Yeah,
it's just my first time home in awhile. I'm nervous."
"You
said you were going to see your family, right?"
"Yeah,
my grandmother, mostly. I haven't seen her in so long. More than 10
years."
"You look pale."
"I'm just tired.
I've been travelling since five this morning."
"Oh, you
poor thing. You'll be so happy to get to your family."
"Yeah,
I can't wait to see my grandmother." This was true. Angel's
Abuelita had always been her favorite relative. She was a tiny woman,
strong and sparkling, with a fiery temper and a fiercely loving
disposition. She was the person in Angel's family with whom she most
identified.
"Where did you say you came from?"
"New
York City."
"Oooh, that sounds scary to me. What's it
like?"
"I love New York. It's the greatest city in the
world."
"But your family is in San Juan. How can you
live in that big city without your family?"
"I have
another family in New York."
"Do you have kids?"
She was fishing.
"No, I have friends." Angel decided to
go for broke. If this woman had any gaydar at all (and she believed
she did), she would already know what Angel was about to say. "And
I have a lover. Tom."
"Oh." She didn't sound
shocked. Angel had been right about the gaydar. "What's he like?
Do you have a picture?"
Angel smiled. This woman had opened
up a can of worms now.
"He's brilliant," she said
proudly. "A professor." She dug for her purse in her
backpack, trying not to let the woman see it. Angel was proud of
being a drag queen, but being in drag on the streets of New York was
one thing. Flying across the Heartland in drag was quite another. She
wanted to reach San Juan in one piece, thank you very much. She
pulled out a picture of Collins from her wallet. She was a little
embarrassed that it had hearts drawn on it with puff paint, but the
woman didn't seem fazed.
"Oooh, he is handsome." Angel
smiled.
"Yes, he is."
"A professor, you said?
What does he teach?"
"Philosophy."
"So he's
a rich guy, huh?" The woman winked.
"Yeah, we're just
rolling in money. Angel smiled in return.
"Got any more
pictures?"
"Ummm. . .yeah. Here's one more." She
handed it over.
"Who's the beautiful woman with him?"
The woman looked a little more closely. "Oh wow, that's you,
isn't it?"
"Yeah, that's me. That was New Year's
Eve."
"Wow! You're gorgeous!"
"Thanks. He
thinks so too." Angel was beginning to like this woman, and she
was really glad she'd taken this trip. She would have to reevaluate
her feelings about Southerners. Suddenly, the pilot came over the
intercom, announcing their descent into San Juan. The woman handed
the photos back to Angel, who put them back into her wallet. The
plane touched down with a bump and taxied into the gate.
"I
hope you have a great time with your family."
"Thanks."
Angel smiled. "Enjoy your new grandbaby."
"I will.
Give your Tom a big hug for me."
Angel grinned, as she always
did when Collins was mentioned.
"I'll give him ten." She
picked up her backpack, waved to the woman, who was waiting to take
her carry on from overhead, and joined the slow progression of people
leaving the plane.
As soon as she got off the plane, she saw them.
Her family.
"Abuelita!" she cried.
"Angel-cita!
Mijo!"
She ran toward her grandmother, who was surrounded by
a throng of cousins. How on Earth did they all get here, she
wondered.
Angel hugged her grandmother first. Abuelita took hold
of Angel's wrist and looked carefully into her face.
"Mijo,
you are so thin! What have you been eating? You are so pale!"
"I'm
fine, Abuelita."
"You look so different. Where are your
clothes?"
"They're packed. I didn't want to draw too
much attention on the way."
"Let's get you home, you can
change." Angel smiled. Her Abuelita knew her so well. Angel
greeted all of her cousins with hugs and kisses. There were five
there in total. Most of them had been very small children when Angel
had last been to San Juan. They claimed Angel's thrift store suitcase
and her 15-year-old cousin Julio insisted on carrying it to the car.
Her favorite cousin from childhood, Consuela, took her hand and they
walked outside together, chatting in Spanish as if they'd never
been separated. The younger cousins swirled around them, whooping,
singing, and talking in Spanish and English. In many ways, Angel felt
more at home than she had in years.
They all went out to the
parking garage. Abuelita led Angel and the others to a brand new
minivan.
"Wow, Abuelita, is this yours?" Angel
asked.
"No, I borrowed it from the Frasiers." The
Frasiers were the family for whom Abuelita worked. "I told them
that my Angel-cita was coming home, and that she'd want to see her
cousins right away." Abuelita patted Angel's cheek and Angel
hugged her again, joyfully.
Angel led Consuela to the back of the
van so they could chat. As Abuelita started the van and drove her
grandchildren home, Angel held Consuela's hand and leaned in close.
She switched to English so that it would be harder for Abuelita to
understand, even if she did hear.
"Connie, I have something
to tell you. It's not an easy thing to say, and it may be even harder
to hear." Angel paused. "I'm here to tell Abuelita
goodbye."
"Goodbye? Angel, where are you going?"
Angel
paused again. This was the hardest possible thing to tell people,
especially those whom she loved. She sighed.
"Connie, I have
AIDS. I'm doing ok, but I don't think I have too much longer."
Connie stared at Angel.
"What? Angel, you're not serious!"
Her eyes began to glisten as she searched Angel's face for a lie, a
joke, something. "Please tell me that you're lying to me."
"I
wish I could tell you I were, but it's true." Angel paused, then
took Connie's other hand and smiled. "I also have good news. I'm
in love."
"In love? Angel, I'm not ready for all this.
It's too much."
"I know, Connie, I'm sorry. I realize
that I'm springing a lot on you, but I just couldn't tell you this on
the phone. I had to do it in person. Can you help me tell
Abuelita?"
Tears coursed down Connie's face.
"Angel,
what happened to you in New York?"
"Lots of things. I
can't tell you all of it. Some of it is too sad to go into, but I'll
never be sorry I went. Just know that I am happier now than I have
ever been." Angel hugged her cousin and wiped the tears off her
cheeks. She seemed to be doing a lot of that these days. She
suspected that there would be plenty more to come. "Try not to
cry. My life is the best it's ever been and I don't want any more
sadness."
Connie sighed shakily, wiped off the last of the
tears, and tried to pull herself back together.
"Ok, Angel, I
will help you however I can. Abuelita will be such a mess. . .God, I
can't imagine how she'll deal with this." Angel gently stroked
her cousin's curls.
"She's strong, she'll pull through. We'll
just have to help her."
Connie looked at Angel with her head
to one side.
"Angel, you have changed so much."
"I
wish you knew how good Tom is for me." His name was like a
charm, she couldn't use it enough.
Connie smiled a little, in
spite of herself.
"Tom? Is he your new honey? Is he cute?"
Suddenly things were back to something like normal. They were
gossiping as if they were teenagers again.
"You have no idea
how cute." Angel pulled the picture out of her purse again.
"Look."
"Whoa, you weren't kidding. What a hottie."
Angel blushed.
"I know."
"And you love
him?"
"Completely."
"And he loves you?"
"I
am the luckiest person in the world. He loves me as much as I love
him." Connie smiled, then her face clouded again.
"Has
he got--?"
"Yes. He has."
"And--?"
"He's
very healthy up to now." Angel crossed her fingers at shoulder
level for Connie to see.
"I hope he stays that way."
"Me
too." Angel replied, thinking 'I am going to need his strength
before too much longer.'
