Sorry if I took so long to write up this chapter. I recently finished my college application and had been accepted into a school of my choice! Whew, that's a large burden off my shoulders now, so I can write more freely.

I also apologize in advance for the (so far) lack of more slash content, since I still prefer writing character development, mostly Megatron, in this chapter. As much as I like to portray him as a young, charismatic and easygoing Decepticon leader, he has his dark moments too, not to mention that this story is (sort of) a telling of the events that set up the stage of the show. So there may be some discomfiting content near the end of the chapter, namely a disturbed subconscious. If dreams of war and death bother you somewhat, then just skip to the last few paragraphs.

Thanks to Ditgital Drama and fan girl 666 for reviewing!

A few megacycles later, Megatron was back in his temporary quarters preparing to rest for the day. His leg wound had been sealed, but he was not to overstrain it for the next few solar cycles. Fine with him. Megatron was planning to take it easy, if the Autobots allowed him, that is.

He activated a datapad as he lay on his berth, going through the statistical reports of the army. However the warlord soon gave up; he just wasn't in the mood for work right now. He didn't want to think about the threat of the still-unknown Project Omega. He didn't want to think about what he should do about the Autobots' space bridge. He didn't even want to think about what he would do with Shockwave when he awoke.

As Megatron usually did when he had nothing else to do, his thoughts turned to Starscream again. He had considered visiting his second after he emerged from the med bay, but decided against it when he realized perhaps Starscream also needed his rest. Megatron could always see him another time when they worked together, or just settle for a messaging session now that he was back at Kalis.

-How are you, Starscream?

-I'm on my way to see you.

Megatron was pleasantly surprised at the fact Starscream hadn't left yet, though he made no movement in making himself presentable as he lay sprawled leisurely on his berth. Here he was wondering when he should visit Starscream, and the Seeker particularly walked up to him voluntarily.

The warlord smirked when his thoughts turned to more… inappropriate things. He would still jump at the opportunity have Starscream in his berth. Megatron wanted to run his hands along those beautiful wings of his and hear the Seeker moan for him. He wanted to pin his second underneath him as he claimed him in a searing kiss, feeling Starscream writhe in suppressed arousal. And most of all Megatron wanted to take his frame, which would no doubt be tight from the appearance of his slim hips.

Megatron released a deep groan as his core temperature arose. He had to stop those thoughts now before he resorted to self-pleasuring.

"Oh, stop it! That wound is nothing compared to the last time I treated you." A familiar sharp voice pierced through Megatron's unsavory daydreams.

The warlord was snapped out rather rudely as he noticed the slender figure of Starscream standing beside the berth. The Seeker was currently wearing a disapproving expression with his arms crossed.

Megatron now instead had to suppress a chuckle. His second was probably the only mech he knew who would barge directly into his quarters after sending three unanswered pings over the network. Starscream also had absolutely no idea on what he was thinking, and it would be best to remain so.

"You look well, Starscream," He greeted cordially, "I thought you would be on your way back to Kalis by now."

"Not yet. I just… came to see how you're doing after being crushed under that beam. You were fortunate to have survived." The Seeker was now actually twiddling his fingers in discomfort. Megatron did not fail to notice this.

"Sit down," He patted the berth, "It's awkward to converse with you still standing."

Starscream's faceplates twisted into something like acute embarrassment or outrage. But he sat down anyways because there was no other seat in the room.

"I'm fine, to answer your question. Knocked out a few dents, sealed up that leg wound. I'm good as new, thanks to your quick intervention."

"What were you even thinking?! I didn't need you to save me by throwing me like that. What were you trying to prove? Is this another attempt to court me? Because it wouldn't work!" Just as quickly Starscream turned awkward, he suddenly became infuriated instead.

Megatron suppressed the urge to slap a hand to his own faceplates. His second really thought too much sometimes, often so quickly that Megatron lost track what he was even ranting on in the first place.

"Court you? I wasn't even thinking of anything relationship-related when I threw you out of the way. It was just…" Megatron sat up abruptly, ready to defend his actions, when he realized he had never thought of why he saved Starscream in the first place. He didn't have to really, for he could have just given a warning. The Seeker was more than capable of getting out of the way fast enough.

Why? Was it because he didn't want to lose one of his most able mechs, or was it because he didn't want to lose a mech he had the mind to interface with? Or was it just a spur of the moment?

Megatron was always a keen analyzer of character. At a first meeting, he would be able to tell whether a mech was easy to interact with or not and other valuable assets. In fact, Megatron knew almost every mech in his army. He knew Blackout preferred to act more than speak, so he could trusted with carrying out orders. He knew Oil Slick carried himself around with a casual attitude, but was surprisingly quick-thinking in battle, which made him an important comrade. He knew Straxus tended to see the negative side of everything and oppose just about every battle strategy, but he was a valuable advisor behind his pessimism. Megatron even prided himself in knowing the difficult-to-interpret Starscream, his second, who was both stubborn and strong and often had tendencies to go into emotional upheavals, but was capable, diligent and loyal to the Decepticons at the same time.

Megatron had analyzed just about anyone he met and came up with his conclusions, but he had never analyzed his motives and actions in detail.

By now the silence had stretched on for quite awhile, though Starscream was content to sit and stare balefully at his leader and tap his claws against the berth.

For once, Megatron took a quick moment to look at himself since the Seeker didn't seem intent on disturbing him.

Tap, tap, tap.

Strange, it was, to know so much about the others and yet spend so little time knowing himself. Megatron had no reason to do so, for he always tried to lead the Decepticons the best he could. Every command and decision of his was meant to benefit his faction, nothing else. The outwardly sophisticated and eloquent impression the warlord gave surprisingly concealed a simple motive: To overthrow the corrupt government, bring equality to all inhabitants on Cybertron and liberate the Decepticons from the edge of society.

Where did Starscream fit into all this?

Megatron knew the answer already.

But to go further down the origins of that motive would unearth a series of events he would rather forget. Megatron had proclaimed that his leadership meant a new beginning when he first came into power for a good reason. He had ordered the abandoning of every Decepticon's past because he had done so himself. To complete this seemly impossible task, the warlord even took up a confident and flamboyant persona, on good terms with everyone and yet close to no one. The rather introverted and thoughtful mech he was before would have given way a long time ago under his tremendous burden.

Tap, tap, tap. For some reason Starscream's tapping was strangely mesmerizing to watch.

Why did he push his second out of the way though? Megatron also knew the answer to that question. The remnants of a solemnly swore oath came back to him gradually, as well as the circumstances under which he did so. A sincere promise to never allow the life of a close one to befall danger if it was within his power to prevent it.

Starscream? A close one?

Megatron shoved aside that thought swiftly, for he had also disregarded that promise as soon as he realized he could not protect every life during the war. He knew it would be better for him to form no close companionship again in order to remain as he was today. Nor did he desire such camaraderie with any mech among the Decepticons.

Then what was this strange longing that still lingered, a longing mixed in faintly with his desire to interface with Starscream. A longing that drove him to make him second-in-command, to defend his words in that particularly disastrous meeting and to throw him out of harm's way.

"You shouldn't fight in the gladiatorial matches, Megs. I'm fine. We have enough credits to sustain us right now." An innocent-sounding voice arose from the depths of long ago, a forgotten past.

"I made this cannon for you. It's a little unwieldy, but I made sure that its firing power compensates for it. Now you can finally defend yourself against that evil mech you've always been fleeing from."

"Can I go to the mines with you today? I want to help."

"No… it's not your fault… I should have stayed at home today. You were kind enough to bring me along. You couldn't have caused that cave-in… I'm fine… I'm fine… I just want to… rest a little…"

Megatron wrenched himself violently from the memories that the voice threatened to pull him into. He couldn't recall right now, the past he had tried to forget for so many thousands of stellar cycles. But he just couldn't help to make connections even back then when the beam was about to fall, that he had once watched, helpless to do anything, as the mech he once considered as a younger brother perish before his sight.

"I was responsible for your safety back then." These words suddenly sprang forth unbidden.

Starscream froze, his tapping completely stilled.

"If it is within my abilities, I would not allow another's life to pass beneath my hands again."

It was only when the Seeker made a sputtering sound of disbelief when Megatron realized what exactly had left his mouth. For a moment he froze in sheer horror. What had he done just now, to indulge in his sealed-away past that had never surfaced since the beginning of the war? He thought he had them suppressed well enough to keep them from surfacing either during recharge or conscious thinking. This was the first time since then that Megatron had experienced any of those memories. The previous talk with Hook had almost brought them up, but now the confrontation with Starscream downright called them back to the forefront of his processor.

What was the Seeker doing to him?

Starscream was strangely silent for a very long time. When he finally spoke, he sounded uncertain and lost.

"I see. I'll be leaving now."

With that he rose stiffly to his pedes and walked as if in a daze through the door. The following whoosh as it slid shut did not serve to startle Megatron out of his reverie. He was still stupefied over what had just happened. He still can't believe that somehow his second had managed to call forth the past he deemed too painful to face.

Who was Starscream really?

-Blitzwing, we need to talk, now. Starscream contacted his friend grimly as he soared through the air in his jet mode on the way to Kalis.

-What is it? From the way you are presenting the request, this sounds serious. Is it about Megatron?

-Of course! Starscream shot back indignantly. His mind was still struggling to grasp what had happened during his last conversation with his leader.

-He didn't upset you again, did he?

-No… Starscream trailed off as he recalled, I asked him why did he bother to save me, allowing himself to become crushed by that beam. Megatron said he didn't want to see me hurt.

-...

-Blitzwing?

-...ThAt Is So CuTe! He LiKeS yOu! Go On, DiD yOu TwO kIsS aNd MaKe OuT ()? I CaN't BeLiEvE I mIsSeD tHaT! (_) Starscream could almost see the mentally-unstable mech gushing with excitement, no doubt in one of his random attacks. He inwardly snarled and told Blitzwing to get a hold of himself.

-I'm sorry for my careless and thoughtless words, Starscream. Please continue.

-Thank the AllSpark that you're back. And then he continued on by implying that he lost someone he cared for before, and he doesn't want to make the same mistake again.

-That's not like Megatron. You sure he's not under the influence of some kind of medication?

-A few cycles before he said that, he was being his usual obnoxious self.

There was a long pause as Blitzwing seemly thought over this.

-I think he does have something for you, He finally answered, Remember that we discussed about personal loyalty to Megatron and how you insisted that he was trying to get you into his berth? Well, our leader may have developed a different kind of interest in you. But I'm not completely sure about this.

Starscream didn't reply right away. He thought about that conversation, in which he finally mustered the willpower to go and visit Megatron in his quarters. The Seeker had felt partially responsible for his leader's injuries sustained during the siege, for he should have known better than tending to another's wounds where the enemy could fire upon them any time. However, just as he realized that Megatron had unnecessarily tried to save his life, Starscream had thought the attempt to be one of the warlord's famous strategies in his courtship. What was he even thinking when he got crushed in the first place?! The Seeker didn't need his help, and instead he got worrying excessively over his leader.

Until when Megatron fell silent after Starscream challenged the other to explain himself.

Megatron's reason then had him speechless. He didn't want to see Starscream hurt.

The more he thought about it, the more Starscream started to falter on the inside. His leader didn't want to see him hurt? He hadn't had anyone extend this kind of concern for him since… millions of stellar cycles.

-Slag it all! Megatron's making it difficult for me to stay away from him!

-Why do you want to stay away from him? Do you still think him unworthy of you?

-I…

Starscream again became buried in his own thoughts. Why did he want to distance himself from Megatron so determinedly right now, or shun him as vehemently as he had done in the beginning? He had noticed a long time ago that Megatron had ceased his perverted behavior completely, so the main cause of his disgust towards his leader had been nullified. In addition, he had seen how the other was truly on the night he was promoted to second-in-command, when he let down all defenses he had built up as the unwavering leader of the Decepticons.

The Seeker had once made up his mind that no matter what Megatron did, he would maintain the healthy distance of a superior and his subordinate with the other. It was the most he could do, after receiving such… degrading treatment when he first joined the Decepticons. He told himself again and again that nothing good would come from paying attention to his leader; following orders was all he should do. Starscream would not allow any mech to shame him, to treat him like a mere object used for another's pleasure.

Yet… why was he still intrigued? He had seen Megatron let slip his probable façade twice, and became interested in what lay beneath the other's easygoing and positive surface. There was something much more than what Starscream had seen, which made him wonder, why did his leader behave like an annoying pervert in the first place?

Why should he bother though? It was none of his business.

Starscream would never admit to anyone that on that memorable night, he had been drawn to the other for the first time. Megatron, sincere in speech for once and weighed down by that strange sorrow… and how he held the Seeker with the tenderness of a lover…

It seemed that keeping their relationship as strictly work-related was harder than it looked.

Starscream knew he shouldn't pry further, but he had an irrational desire to know what the other was like without the high walls he built up around himself. He had seen it happen again back in Altihex, and became curious about it all the more. Why did Megatron do so? Was there something he was trying to hide at all costs?

"I was responsible for your safety back then." Megatron's expression had turned solemn when he uttered those words quietly. Simply recalling the memory brought a warm surge in Starscream's spark. He scowled, dismissing the though as quickly as it came. Since when did he take his leader's words that seriously?

-You still there, Starscream? I mean to tell you one more thing. You mentioned Megatron saying that he once lost someone close to him. Do you know that's the first time anyone has heard our leader mention his past in any way?

-His past? Now that Blitzwing mentioned it, Starscream was starting to become curious, Someone must know of it, of who Megatron was before he rose to power.

-No one does. I suspect the requirement to "put behind all burdens of the past in order to strive for a better future" was set by Megatron himself, because for some reason he absolutely refuses to reveal his own. In a way our leader is completely inaccessible. Now we have one clue: He had lost someone close before, perhaps something he thought he was able to prevent.

Starscream's first reaction was preposterousness, that the whole thing was as cliché as it could get, kind of like those sentimental romance novels Skyfire sometimes liked to discuss about. The shuttle may disapprove of their classmates' relationships, but he was secretly fond of such written work. So Megatron was now the love interest (though he loathed labeling him as that) with the dark and tormented past, requiring the clueless protagonist (though Starscream fiercely argued that he was not) to solve the mystery while trying the rescue the other from sinking deeper into despair.

The Seeker decided that he would seriously stop the tropes before he got to "damsel in distress" or something similar. He wanted to have nothing to do with Megatron's past, the more tormented it was the farther he would stay away from it.

However, Starscream suddenly recalled the night when he had been promoted to second-in-command, when his leader became strangely solemn and yet uncertain at the same time. That was the cycle when he realized that there was more to Megatron than his casual exterior, and whatever caused him to act like that must be something worth knowing about.

So here was another mystery, Megatron's hidden past. At this Starscream became almost curious to solve it despite his earlier reluctance. While he was studying at the Academy, he recalled seeing a new classmate who actively tried to avoid his peers, was often found alone in a secluded corner and always the silent one. Rumors later revealed that the other had lost both of his caretakers recently, one to a fatal illness and another of grief. However after a few stellar cycles, the mech eventually opened up and was soon revealed to be a rather outgoing figure who even participated much in community work.

Not so with Megatron. Starscream was sure that whatever had happened to him, he had plenty of time to get over it. The obvious conclusion that the warlord didn't heightened the fact that his past was bothering him much more than it should, that it was a miracle that Megatron had kept it hidden so far behind his leadership duties and his inappropriate attempts to court the Seeker.

Eventually Kalis came into sight, and Starscream said his farewells with Blitzwing. The revelations he had received today were more than enough to digest.

-Shockwave is online, Megatron. He is asking for your audience. Hook messaged the warlord one solar cycle.

Megatron sighed as he pinched his nasal ridge wearily. Here he was trying to figure out the next step to take in the war, trying to understand the extent of his interest in Starscream and most of all puzzling over the nature of his memories' reappearance, and now he had his former second to worry about. He still opened his messaging channel though, and the response was immediate.

-Lord Megatron, it pleases me to see that you are still online and well. How are the tides of war?

-Unsteady, but still remaining in our favor. We have taken Kalis and Altihex and resolved our energon crisis. But the Autobots are developing new weapons technology they are yet to unveil.

-That is true. And—ah! I have to tell you further information about Project Omega. I unexpectedly found myself near Ultra Magnus' position in that ill-fated battle in which I was disabled. He was conversing with one of his officials and admitted that we were having them outwitted in almost every battle. But he said hopefully Project Omega will change everything. I had a feeling that this project would prove to be a formable threat and tried to contact you as soon as I put some distance from the battle. However you did not answer, and soon after that I was caught in that explosion.

Project Omega… Megatron had almost forgotten about it. Now that Shockwave was awake, he was able to offer more information about it. But the warlord cursed himself for not noticing Shockwave's message earlier before it became buried until tens more during battle. It must have been sent while Megatron had been ambushed by Ultra Magnus and the Elite Guard. He would have received this news much sooner and react much more appropriately instead of puzzling over the project's nature for weeks.

Megatron was right in thinking Project Omega as the Autobots' edge in this war. The question was: What was it? He asked Shockwave quickly.

-According to my understanding, it is a kind of weapon designed to deal mass destruction especially to opponents such as us Decepticons. If this was so, then the weapon may be large in shape and size.

Megatron's mind immediately began to work on overdrive. He must make preparations in order to face a super weapon. But first he had to contact Starscream on his outlook on it…

Oh slag. Megatron still didn't know how to break the news to Shockwave.

-My liege, if you are willing, I will set out for Altihex right away to take up my duties as your faithful second. As if on cue, Shockwave touched upon this awkward

subject.

-Shockwave.

-Yes, Lord Megatron?

-I trust that before Hook left, he gave you orders to stay put in Kaon until you have recovered significantly. Coming here to Altihex is not an action beneficial to your present status.

-I would stand by your side, for no wound can hinder me from my sworn duty to aid you in all matters of warfare. Let me come to Altihex, Lord Megatron. I will not participate in excessive battles and so worry you with my less-than-ideal health. I will try my best to fulfill my duties, in which you must be suffering from the absence of.

Shockwave was really one of the most loyal and capable mechs Megatron had ever met. He hadn't regretted his choice to recruit and appoint the shape-shifter as his second-in-command. But now that Shockwave was actually pestering his leader to allow him to take up his old position again, Megatron felt a hint of annoyance rise.

-You didn't think I would leave the position of second-in-command open while you were unconscious, did you? Your role is one of the most important in the army, and I constantly need someone I could discuss my strategies with a mech I could trust to correct me. I had selected a temporary replacement.

There was quite a strained silence between them. Finally it was Shockwave who replied tensely.

-Who is it?

Should Megatron tell him? He didn't want to make an enemy for Starscream so easily. But what could he do now? The other was particularly pressing him to answer.

-Former head scientist Starscream. He also shows the valuable talent of analyzing situations quickly and reacting to them. In fact it was his strategy that won us Kalis and Altihex.

-You appointed Starscream as your second-in-command?!

Megatron sighed again. He knew Shockwave would take it badly.

-I am not against my temporary replacement, my liege. But you could have appointed someone much more trustworthy and loyal! Do you know that mech struts around as if he thinks he is the leader of the faction?! Prideful, arrogant, selfish, and ambitious! Anyone can see that he wants to replace you, hopefully by gaining your trust before finishing you off in the most unexpected way! How can you trust him that much?!

The warlord was temporarily overwhelmed by Shockwave's angry rant and the fact that the normally well-mannered mech had lost his cool completely, so much that he was struck silent for several cycles. Although Megatron had been temporarily disoriented by his last encounter with the Seeker, his temper now flared up instead when he heard Shockwave's vehement words. How dare anyone accuse Starscream like this when he had only met the Seeker on a few occasions?! Megatron had been interacting with him for stellar cycles and Shockwave not even a solar cycle! If anyone knew the most about Starscream's character, it was Megatron.

-Are you going against my choice made for the best of the faction? If I were you, I would pick my next words carefully.

-I mean no disrespect towards you, Lord Megatron. You may trust Starscream as your inmost advisor, but I find it difficult to serve under him. Please, my liege, listen to the words of one who has seen that mech's more unlikable side. Do not allow him to become your downfall and distract you from the war—

-Shockwave. I think you should consider yourself fortunate that I still see you as a valuable officer, enough that I would stay my hand from dealing you severe punishment for so blatantly opposing me. You are dismissed.

Another long pause.

-I apologize, Lord Megatron.

Well, that was that. Megatron sighed for the third time as he cut the connection. The confrontation with Shockwave went worse than he thought. He never expected the shape-shifter to erupt in fury over Starscream's initiation. And his accusations, none of them were true to Starscream's character. Megatron had to admit that the Seeker was proud, but in a way that made him do his best. But arrogant and selfish? Not at all! He had read reports on how his second had risked his own life to save Blitzwing in the Kalis pipes. As for ambitious, Megatron was sure that he had reached the top of his goals, for there was no position higher than second-in-command other than the title of Decepticon leader. However contrary to what Shockwave had said, Megatron wasn't worried about Starscream trying to usurp him. The Seeker seemed content with his leadership, and he would receive it anyway if the warlord somehow became unable to lead.

Shockwave was definitely overreacting.

Still, what should he do with his former second? Megatron couldn't exactly demote Starscream because of Shockwave. He didn't want to offend either of them.

Megatron groaned instead when he realized he had another burden on his shoulders.

Later that night, he was unable to recharge straight away even after taking a mild sedative. Surprisingly enough, what kept him up wasn't the worry of dealing with Shockwave over his replacement; it was his conversation with Starscream earlier.

The warlord quickly shut down all non-essential systems and managed to force himself into a sedative-induced stasis before he could ponder more upon the matter. But it was already too late.

His dreams were filled with spilled energon and sounds of battle, the sear of laser fire against his armor and the throbbing pain of his many wounds. The blinding flashes of blaster fire and reflective glint of swung blades were everywhere around him, but insane laughter and the crazed glint of a pair of crimson optics were featured most prominently, mocking him, laughing at him, finding amusement in watching him trudge through the mire that was his subconscious.

Out! Megatron snarled at the presence, You are as good as offline since I earned my leadership. Get out of my mind!

There was no reply, but the laughter intensified just as he was thrust into abrupt darkness. For a cycle Megatron stumbled blindly about before his hands found a long thin iron bar that was hung on a nonexistent wall. Light suddenly flared from the object he was holding, and then he was swinging an energon pick into the glowing veins of energon embedded deep in the walls.

He froze, his grip tightening on the tool so hard that it groaned under the pressure. No... he can't enter this place again, not without knowing that he had caused the deaths of countless mechs the last time he was here, where tons of rocks threatened to collapse any moment and bury all who were underneath in everlasting darkness by a single careless swing...

Megatron gave a wordless cry and brought the pick down on his knee, snapping it into two with a resounding crack. The pieces shifted in appearance instead to form the familiar weight of his twin swords in both hands as the darkness swirled away to reveal sudden light, so bright that it blinded him. For a few cycles, he could see nothing, and hear only a tumultuous roar that drowned out everything else.

His battle instincts immediately alerted him of an opponent in the same area as he, so the warlord twisted out of the way of a swung energy mace. He was back in the arena, where the desperate mechs fought for their lives in the hope of gaining more credits and fame. Megatron could smell the harsh tang of freshly spilled energon and the acrid odor of scorched armor plating, so real that for a cycle he was overwhelmed by the sudden change of scene.

Nevertheless he managed to react quick enough to counterattack as his opponent charged again. Megatron flung his swords upwards to slice mercilessly through the other's frame, nearly bisecting him in half. More energon burst from his fatal wound, and for a nanoklik time seemed to stop so that the pink life fluid froze in its trajectory, glittering oddly in the high-powered floodlights.

Then it fell, now a sudden overwhelming torrent that washed everything from his sight. Megatron sputtered in disgust as some of the metallic tasting liquid splashed into his mouth. He tried to claw his way above the unrelenting flood, flailing around wildly after discovering that he had lost his weapons. The warlord finally managed to break through the surface, only to be swept under again. He could no longer see anything, but he could hear so many sounds. There was the shrill voice of a young mech screaming in terror, the pleading sobs of another begging his listener to spare the sparklings, the enraged battle yells of someone he thought he should remember, the cacophonous rings of clashing weapons. All of these sounds blended into one continuous white noise, incomprehensible and overwhelming. Soon they threatened to overload his audio input, and Megatron tried vainly to turn it down. But the voices and sounds remained, growing progressively louder and louder until he shouted out.

Then it was all gone.

Everything became silent. The torrent that had swept him along had disappeared along with the noise.

Megatron found himself kneeling in darkness again, his hands flat against the unseen ground and helm drooped low with his optics tightly shuttered. He onlined them warily, only to see nothing at all even with his night vision. Reaching out blindly, he tried to touch for something, anything that would give him a clue on where he was. Unlike the last time, he couldn't find anything within reach for a few suffocating cycles.

The walls started to close in like an unrelenting vise around his being.

Megatron's intakes began to shorten so that his breaths came in ragged uneven gasps. He could feel his spark throbbing erratically, the normally soothing pulsing rhythm now threatening to overwhelm him with panic. At that cycle, his pede struck against something made of metal.

He fumbled blindly with his hands and found the object he had chanced upon. It was quite large, actually, compared to the mining pick. He felt straight edges, some curves that progressed as he traced his fingers along, and a round conclave surface. There were even a few indents…

He froze, slowly realizing what the object was just as he touched something wet.

Like a switch being flipped, light suddenly burst into existence, blinding Megatron once again. After he tried to readjust to the scene change, he wished his surroundings had remained in darkness.

The mutilated offlined frames of at least tens of mechs lay around him, their paintjobs already faded to gray. To his horror, all of them were either sparklings or young mechs. Their energon pooled beneath the wounds that had killed them, brilliantly vibrant against the colorlessness of the bodies. Even as Megatron watched, the liquid continued to flow sluggishly onto the ground.

The sight of deactivated mechs was familiar to him, but for some reason his tanks roiled in sick disgust. What kind of mech would slaughter those defenseless ones, and would break the unspoken but sacred law that no sparkling was to be harmed?

He looked at the one he had first come upon, and a name floated to the surface of his mind.

No, it couldn't be. He was already offline. He was never among those others, for he had died alone in the darkness―

Intakes hyperventilating, Megatron took a step backwards. The feeling of wetness was still on his bare hands, so he chanced a glance at them.

They were stained the same shade of pink of those younglings' energon.

His hands began to shake as he backed away further from the morbid sight.

Megatron was not the murderer; he was sure of it. Though he had cut down countless Autobots in battle, he would never raise a sword against those who cannot defend themselves. Then why was energon coating his hands, those dirty stained hands that took so many lives away but had never harmed a single youngling? Why was he there, when Megatron was sure that he had no part in striking the final blow? Why? Why? WHY?

He turned and ran, trying to scrub the energon off his hands as fast as he could. A movement at the corner of his vision caught his attention. At first he ignored it and continued on, but soon a figure appeared in front of him, forcing him to halt with the screech of metal against metal.

It was the same sparkling whose name he had recalled.

He stood unmovingly, his small stature barely reaching up to Megatron's knees. His clear blue optics were online, but they were dull and lifeless. His most prominent feature was a gruesome head wound that had almost split his small helm in half, revealing the intricate inner components of his brain module.

"Megs?"

The warlord's spark wrenched at that old nickname he had once tried to get rid of, and later allowed it to grow on him.

The youngling's optics then started to glisten with unshed tears, but when they trickled down his faceplates, they were the color of energon.

"Why did you leave me behind?"

With that Megatron awoke, bolting straight up from where he lay on his berth.

The familiar shapes that defined his room in the darkness greeted him, along with the faint hum of the sleeping computer console nearby. He almost greeted the emergence of reality with unadulterated relief, so much that he slumped limply onto his back again to stare at the ceiling.

His intakes still came in ragged gasps, and Megatron tried to calm down by dismissing the remnants of his dream from memory. There were parts that refused to go away completely though, particularly the last scene.

Why did you leave me behind?

He didn't. He hadn't had a choice. He would have never left him behind if it were out of his own free will. That was why he had sworn he would never let the life of a close one pass beneath his hands again if he was able to preserve it. It was how he honored that sparkling's memory by taking this personal oath, though Megatron had been reluctant to allow himself to become so attached to another.

Then what was Starscream?

Why was his second able to recall that promise? What link did the Seeker have with his past?

For the rest of the night cycle, Megatron was unable to fall into recharge again. He tossed and turned restlessly with his thoughts running rampant and far-reaching as he went over things that up until now, had stayed pushed at the back of his mind. In the end, the warlord had get up to face another new solar cycle without a nanoklik of rest. As usual, he soon shoved those thoughts aside in favor for his pressing duties, and soon the dream was only a fading specter of the night before.

But Megatron felt a sense of worry he hadn't experienced for at least a thousand stellar cycles. He had once yielded under the pressure of recalling the events that had haunted him for so long, a period of time in which he lost his motivation for everything. The warlord had recovered eventually, but he realized it couldn't happen again during the war. He had taken extra precautions to ensure it, yet there it was: A weak point found out of his desire to interface with Starscream.

He would never admit that the anxiety was largely laced with indefinite fear. Because to indulge in them meant acknowledging that he was much less unshakable than others thought, that many times he did not know how to lead the Decepticons, how to deal with Shockwave and most of all, how Starscream had become a potential weak link in his self-imposed façade to stay strong.

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