Ah, hopefully I can update more frequently, though I am still in a somewhat crabby mood having just got another wisdom molar yanked out yesterday (although we only paid 5 dollars for the procedure. Hooray for Taiwanese health insurance!). The good news is, I am determined to keep this story rolling because we're already halfway through. And yep, more mech lovin' coming up near the end and in this chapter. Enjoy!
Thanks to Guest, DitgitalDrama, fan girl 666 and jack for reviewing! Thanks also to all those who favorited and subscribed!
The following orbital cycles passed like a dream, the events which happened during this period of time seemly unreal. Each solar cycle was the same: Get up, double-check Kalis' defenses, ward off another Autobot invasion, report to Megatron and recharge. Although punctuated between those skirmishes were unexpected night attacks, the Autobots didn't try to lay a siege around either city-state. That was more than fine with Starscream.
Ever since he had learned of Megatron's possibly disturbed history, the Seeker had been initiating their messaging sessions quite diligently. But for some reason his leader became strangely withdrawn, never allowing their conversations to go on longer than necessary and speaking only about the most trivial of things. For example, it often went like this:
-Well, Megatron. How are things at Altihex?
-Fine, thank you. You?
-Never better. The Decepticons under my command are finally beginning to quiet down. They accept me as their rightful commander now.
-That's good to hear.
-What's up with you? You usually never answer me so briefly. Once Starscream once even confronted Megatron about his apparent coldness.
-Nothing. You are thinking more than you should again. Go get some rest; the city-state needs you at full strength to defend.
Then the messaging would end, leaving Starscream feeling empty and confused. What did Megatron get stuck up his tailpipe? It was as if the warlord had made up his mind to distance himself from the Seeker, just as he had done the same to his leader so long ago.
Starscream had to clench his fists frustratedly. Why did this have to happen when he was about to try his best to discover why his leader had apparently sealed himself behind a confident outer shell?
To make things worse, he received news that Shockwave had awoken from stasis, although he was still too weak to do anything productive yet. Starscream was grateful that he wasn't currently stationed in Kaon. The shape-shifter would still cause trouble for him, even more now that Seeker had taken his place.
Soon he was preoccupied with the events of war again. Scrash had reported the Autobots warping onto the colonies out of a blue sphere of swirling energy, catching them off guard. They managed to hold back the enemy, but Megatron had to give orders to halt all advances of the army in order to combat them efficiently. For now the colony Autobots were no formable threat. However, it was clear that the space-bridge project was finished. The Autobots were now able to warp anywhere they wished.
Starscream knew Megatron was struggling to think of a way to counter this new threat, but he hadn't chosen to discuss it with his second. At first the Seeker was indignant over this. But after another round of advising from Blitzwing, Starscream realized that just like himself, Megatron needed his time alone to think.
-Perhaps he's even consulting his own trusted mech. That means he wants to make things work out between you two. I think that's a good thing. Blitzwing concluded after his random persona finished gushing over the definitely nonexistent infatuation Starscream had for his leader.
But Megatron was not consulting anyone, for it was not his habit to reveal his inmost thoughts. He always struggled with them alone, like right now. Also contrary to Blitzwing's interpretation, Megatron wasn't thinking about how he could make things work out between him and his second. For some reason his thoughts kept returning to several stellar cycles ago, the time when he first started to associate with Starscream.
Megatron shuttered his optics as he sank into his memories. He remembered when Starscream had joined the cause willingly, an angry young mech who had been denied of his degree in the Cybertronian Science Academy. How could he ever forget how they first met by literally running into each other, or the increasingly amusing attempts Starscream made to avoid him?
Back then everything was much simpler than it was today.
When was it when he first wanted to interface with the Seeker? Megatron supposed that the desire eventually had to surface as he continued to observe Starscream. It was such a straightforward desire, for mechs would literally fight to share a berth with their leader. All he had to do is walk up to Starscream and ask.
But the Seeker was not easily won over. Megatron saw his pride and stubbornness, which kept him from submitting to the warlord's advances. However Megatron was not the mech to give up so easily, so he initiated the courting. Sometimes he wondered if the results would be better if he directly made advances instead. But Starscream was the type of mech who would kick him in the crotch and run for it rather than submit under him.
At first it wasn't serious at all. He only sought to gain Starscream's attention and hopefully the other's own interest. Though Megatron had made the Seeker his second-in-command with genuine desire to keep him safe, he secretly hoped that this action would give him a better chance of success. He had done all he was willing to do to appear desirable before his new second.
But now it seemed like this game had taken a new turn.
Megatron still wanted Starscream, but found himself concerned over his safety in battle ever since the Kalis incident. Starscream was rarely injured severely in battle, but the warlord suddenly found his spark constricting in its chamber during the few times his second did. He had dismissed it as the motivation to keep Starscream alive until he got what he wanted from him…
Until Megatron began to discover that Starscream was weakening him in ways he didn't comprehend.
He was skilled in rhetorics and analyzing other mechs, so he should be able to find a reason for this. But Megatron didn't understand this phenomenon. Whenever he spoke to Starscream over the messaging network, he felt himself open up more and more to his ever-inquisitive second, revealing more than he usually would about himself. Gradually he had started to make connections to his past; the memory files he had buried long before the beginning of the war were now surfacing.
What was Starscream doing to him?
Megatron cannot afford this opening up of himself. He had to be strong in order to win this war. It was the very reason why he resolved to forget his past when he became Decepticon leader. Afterwards he never thought about them, never recalled, never kept any mementoes, never regretted, never brooded over, and never spoke about it. Megatron was weary of becoming incapacitated every time when he remembered the amount of lives lost because of him. He cannot mourn for them, or curse him for ruining everything he touched. The Decepticons needed a strong leader in times of war, so Megatron had to get rid of all potential weaknesses he possessed.
But the memories he allowed to surface back then showed that he was already yielding. How had Starscream progressed from an interfacing interest to a mech who weakened his very personality?
If he continued to attempt to draw the Seeker closer to him, it would become worse. Somehow Starscream was capable of challenging his restraint itself and forcing him to ponder more than he should, so much that it was starting to bring up the past. It was a ridiculous thought, that another mech was responsible for this when he did particularly nothing, or had anything to do with his past. But it was reality; it had happened more than once already. He can no longer try to explain it with another reason.
Megatron thought of keeping his second at a safe distance from then on. He would not speak to him more than necessary, lest he make himself more vulnerable as time progressed. He would treat him strictly as a fellow worker, nothing more. Now that he thought of how Starscream was affecting his performance in the war, Megatron actually found himself intimidated by the prospect of a real relationship he couldn't afford to maintain, because his interest shouldn't have led to that in the first place.
The warlord sighed for the umpteenth time as he tried to pull from his brooding to focus once more on the war effort. He hoped Starscream would take the hint. But how? The Seeker had finally proven his personal loyalty when he saved Megatron from under that beam during the last battle. How could he return the favor by distancing himself from Starscream? Did he even want to distance himself from him?
Megatron soon had to shove all thoughts about his second the back of his mind to concentrate on his work. As for Shockwave, he had received an extremely long apology letter from the shape-shifter, which mainly begged for his forgiveness for his insolence. He eventually allowed Shockwave the position of the head of the intelligence division, a job fit for his currently recovering frame. But Megatron had a feeling that Shockwave wasn't done with Starscream just yet. He would have to keep a close optic on his former second from now on.
-Lord Megatron! The Autobots are driving us back as they send more forces through the space-bridge. Five colonies have already fallen under their control. We need to do something quick and soon! Sideways brought grim news one solar cycle during a sudden attack on Altihex.
-Can you afford to spare the Decepticons currently stationed at the colonies not under attack? Megatron immediately got thinking, even though he was currently soaring through the air in his alt-mode, taking down advancing Autobots with his cannon with well-aimed shots.
-No, sir. We don't know when or where the Autobots would strike next. If we leave a colony understaffed, they may be taken even faster than before.
-Then I will send backup from Kaon and deploy some of the space fleet.
-It may be too late, but that would be much appreciated, Lord Megatron. Sideways out.
The warlord sighed inwardly as he eliminated another group who had hoped to sneak into the city-state. One would think that the Autobots would have given up by now, since they were trying to take back the two city-states for orbital cycles without success. But now that the colonies were under attack via space bridge, it was as if the Autobots had received a confidence boost, that they believed they could take Altihex and Kalis with the power of teleportation at their disposal.
The war would be dragged on longer with this new turning point.
Megatron knew he was becoming weary of the Great War. He was tired of having to manage his army in order to counter the assault of their enemy. It used to be an attempt to reform the government, but now it had evolved into a full out war. Just as many Decepticons offlined each solar cycle as the Autobots. The war was sapping everyone's strength, resources and lives. Megatron had seen how the Decepticons progressed from marching into battle in war songs and triumphant confidence into grim determinacy. The somewhat excited atmosphere of winning the war at the beginning had dissipated almost completely, and now every Decepticon fought for their own lives instead. The war had to end sometime soon before it did irreparable damage on both Cybertron and its inhabitants.
But how? The Autobots showed no sign of yielding at all, which they would probably never do with their advantage of space-bridges. They would not admit defeat and acknowledge that their government needed a reform. And they would never do so, unless they were utterly and completely defeated.
Which would not happen soon, Megatron realized. He needed a miracle in order for this to happen. The Decepticon military strength and skills were not enough to win this war. They didn't have the scientific minds to make new breakthrough inventions like the Autobots did. They needed something else.
By the AllSpark, Megatron was going to get himself offlined if he was thinking this much in the middle of a battle. He barely managed to avoid two homing missiles fired at him by doing complicated barrel rolls, making them detonate in mid-air.
Wait, the AllSpark!
If he couldn't triumph by military strength, he might as well rely on the power of the otherworldly. The AllSpark was mainly known for its life-giving properties, but contained potent power within too. If it was somewhat harnessed and used as a weapon, then the tides of war could very well turn in the Decepticons' favor.
But no. The last time when someone tried to use the AllSpark, or more accurately, tried to integrate it into himself, the resultant surge of pure energy had driven the mech insane. Megatron knew better than most mechs that the sacred artifact was not a power to be trifled with, for he had known the results of this insanity first handedly. In fact, he once considered this idea at the beginning of the Great War only to discard it almost immediately. The Decepticons didn't need to suffer under another psychotic leader.
However, that was his predecessor who was such a mech. Megatron wasn't. His motivations were much too different. There was a slightest chance that he would succeed in what the other had failed.
In a losing war, the littlest hope was better than none.
Megatron smiled grimly at this revelation. Did he not swear that he would endeavor to strive to his limits to see this war through? What was a small risk compared to the victory that could be won?
Actually obtaining the AllSpark would be easier said than done. The artifact was currently kept in the hands of the Autobots in the city state of Protihex, which would no doubt be under heavy guard if they hadn't moved it to a remote location.
But one thing at a time. The warlord would have to get out of this battle alive in order to actually consider this idea. However, it gave Megatron a hope he hadn't felt for many stellar cycles.
One solar cycle Starscream received orders to travel to Altihex to meet with Megatron. Because what they were to discuss was classified top secret, they couldn't use the messaging network instead. The Seeker had asked the other about the nature of the discussion, and Megatron had only hinted it as "an action that may potentially win us a quick victory over the Autobots". His curiosity awakened, Starscream set out as soon as he can. But when he heard Megatron's plan, he had to burst out in a mixture of disbelief and horror.
"You want to use the AllSpark as a weapon?!"
"I don't see anything wrong about this to earn your exclamation," Megatron said shortly, "Your role is to devise a strategy that will gain us the artifact."
Starscream winced inwardly. He could see that his leader was being adamant about this hopeless plan, not to mention still withdrawn since they last spoke face-to-face. Not a good combination.
And using the AllSpark as a weapon! It was a thought so outrageous that the most radical of the Decepticons would quail at even the very notion of it. Even though the artifact was not in their possession, they still respected it for its life-giving abilities. All Cybertronians were sparked through the AllSpark, given life by the essence of the creator of their race. To use it as a weapon… it was utterly unthinkable.
"But the AllSpark is one of the seven sacred relics of Cybertron, known to be the representation of Primus Himself! Using it like that is almost like defiling it. The AllSpark gives life, and now you want to use it to end lives!"
It was only after finishing his rant that Starscream realized he had directly gone against his leader's orders. Seeing his current mood, Megatron probably wouldn't take it well.
"Starscream." Megatron's faceplates were hard, "I take it that just like me, you are tiring of this war."
"I…" The Seeker trailed off when he realized this was true.
"The Autobots will prolong the war with the invention of the space-bridge. We cannot afford to let them have an edge, which would no doubt sap more lives and resources from our side. The war must be won whatever the cost. Currently we have no means to counter them, so I have placed my hope in an artifact of Cybertron."
Starscream was almost won over to the warlord's side again. Everything he said made sense, and all appealed to the Seeker's desires. But he couldn't stop a nagging feeling from creeping up.
"Even if you discard the AllSpark's holiness and are still determined to use its power, you cannot guarantee that it would allow itself to be used. Its power is unstable and unrefined; it might even offline you if you dare to touch it with that intention in your mind!" Starscream voiced his worries.
"You speak as if the artifact has a mind of its own."
"It does, Megatron. Like I said before, it is a representation of the divine. The scientists of the Cybertronian Science Academy have studied the artifact for many millions of stellar cycles and still couldn't figure out its properties, other than that pulses with a life of its own."
"We will worry about that later," His leader remained unmoved, "For now the issue remains: How to obtain the AllSpark itself?"
"But—" Starscream was about to shoot back that despite using the AllSpark was a plan that might work, actually making it work was another plan in itself when he remembered Megatron's grim expression when he had last retorted. So the Seeker swallowed his words reluctantly and sighed. When Megatron got an idea, he seldom gave up on it.
When had his leader become so cold towards him, and what had he done to deserve it? Starscream was sure that he had not offended the other so much that he should change his attitude so drastically. Even though he hated it when Megatron was flirting with him, he suddenly realized he missed the warlord's positive and easygoing presence. Megatron had tolerated Starscream's violent emotional outbursts with nothing but a smile and a casual remark, never losing his temper towards his second. He always conversed with Starscream whenever he could, responding eagerly to whatever the Seeker said and offering his own experiences.
But Megatron had been changed by the war, and the Seeker wasn't sure whether it was for the good or worse. He would have never considered such a radical plan in using the AllSpark as a weapon previously. Now that the warlord had done so, it showed that he was truly desperate.
"Starscream." The gentle tone in his leader's voice caught his attention, "I want this war to end as much as you do. It has gone on long enough. I tell you the truth. Only one-half of the remaining Decepticons are the ones who first answered my call to arms. Something must be done before the Autobots vanquish us all. I don't want to continue to lose my trusted officers, especially you, Starscream."
The Seeker caught his breath sharply at this as his mind suddenly flash backed to on the night when he was promoted… then the time when he challenged Megatron to explain himself after the siege of Altihex. Both instances when his leader offered his concern when he had been least expecting it, when his spark warmed with longing at the other's words.
Despite his recent coldness, Megatron still cared for him to a degree. Though he had tried to keep his distance for some unspecified reason, the warlord had not discarded all possible feelings he might have for him.
What had happened to his leader's former inappropriate attempts to again his attention?
I didn't want to see you hurt. Megatron had answered him when Starscream questioned his motives after the battle for Altihex. He couldn't even start to comprehend why his leader was suddenly so concerned over his welfare. But he had been concerned already before that…
I don't want to continue to lose my trusted officers, especially you, Starscream.
He realized that no one had ever extended this kind of care to him. Not even Skyfire, with who he remained strictly as friends. The shuttle was kind enough to accompany him almost everywhere, force him to refuel and recharge whenever Starscream was engrossed in a project, help him in brainstorming for an assignment and more. The Seeker had several suspicions that Skyfire had wanted something more for a period of time. But things never went beyond that.
Megatron's hand suddenly found his, the warlord's larger one almost enveloping the Seeker's much smaller and delicate one. Starscream made a small sound akin to a gasp of surprise at the small but interestingly intimate contact. For some reason this felt more complete than the time when Megatron had made out with him so many stellar cycles ago.
"Help me end this war," Megatron leaned down to murmur right beside Starscream's audios, "With both sides at peace, we can actually consider… something between us."
"Both sides at peace…" The Seeker breathed, hardly believing what Megatron was saying. Was he openly admitting that he had given up his pursuit for his frame and wanted something deeper instead?
"All if we triumph over the Autobots using the power of the AllSpark."
He wasn't listening anymore. Of all the words Megatron spoke, only seven of them stood out to Starscream.
We can actually consider something between us.
He looked up towards his leader, and suddenly found that their faceplates were so close that they were almost touching. In fact if Starscream only tilted his helm a little…
Their lips met.
The kiss was tender and soft, nothing dominating or wanting about it. Unlike the first time, it wasn't forced and meant to silence. Unlike the second time, it wasn't passionate and heated. There was simply the sensation of Megatron's mouth moving against his, his lips gentle and slow.
The older mech's arm wound around Starscream's thin waist, his other hand coming up to cup the back of his helm lightly with no intention to grope at all. Before he knew it, Starscream had brought up both his arms to wrap around his leader's elegantly-spiked helm, stroking fondly at the back. For the first time, he wanted to give himself fully over to the other, to enjoy the way his leader's hands rested lightly on him and how their lips molded against each other's.
The kiss seemed to last an eternity as the two remained connected, their frames intertwined closely. In fact Starscream wouldn't have separated at all, until a telltale whoosh interrupted the silence as the doors of the command center slid open.
They jumped apart almost guiltily, Megatron acting as if nothing happened and Starscream still blushing profusely as Strika strode in.
"Lord Megatron, I bring the report you had requested. Did I interrupt something?"
"Um… no," For the first time Starscream saw Megatron act flustered as he practically wrung his hands, "I'll have a look at that report, if you would please."
"And what are doing here, Seeker? I thought you were supposed to be defending Kalis." Strika then addressed Starscream in a hostile tone.
With that Megatron seemed to recover himself and calmly explained that he called his second over for a discussion over the best course of action to be taken in the future. Then he asked Starscream to return to Kalis and think up of a strategy while at it. It was like the kiss never happened, that Megatron had returned to his previous cold persona. Starscream could not help but feel a sharp twinge of disappointment at this. He had hoped that Megatron would snap out of it afterwards.
But no courtship was perfect. Starscream still had to think about what he should do about the AllSpark, and fight down his guiltiness while at it. No amount of distraction from his leader could assuage his emerging unease over the whole plan, though he secretly saved the memory where he could recall it once again whenever he was feeling discouraged by the other.
Thank you for reading, and please review if you have any suggestions or constructive criticisms or just some encouragement! I'm the kind of writer who loves to hear from the readers, however few the words!