Chapter 5

The following morning, Angel arose, feeling wrong. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but something just wasn't right with her. Her muscles felt sore, even her eyes ached. 'Exhaustion,' she decided 'That's all, I'm still tired.' She rose slowly and went to the kitchen, where she heard her Abuelita stirring. She was making breakfast.
"Good morning, Angel-cita. Do you want some breakfast?"
The thought of eating anything made Angel's stomach turn.
"No thank you, Abuelita. I think I'm still full from last night."
"But you're so thin, we have to get some good food into you. Can I make you some coffee at least?"
"How about some tea, Abuelita?"
Abuelita looked at her strangely.
"Tea only? All right, tea it is. How about some toast?"
"Thank you, some toast would be nice."
Angel sat, warming her hands on the mug of tea for a long time. She drank a little, and nibbled on the edges of the toast. Abuelita looked at her, worried.
"Angel-cita, why won't you eat?"
"I ate plenty last night, Abuelita. I'm just tired, I think."
Abuelita stood and came to Angel. She put her hands on her grandchild's face and immediately pulled them back.
"Angel! You're burning up! Go and lie down immediately!"
Angel obeyed, her body feeling suddenly very heavy. She was glad she hadn't gotten dressed yet this morning. Her feet felt so heavy she doubted she'd have been able to move them at all if she had real shoes on them. She trudged toward the bedroom, then changed her mind and turned toward the couch in the living room. She lay down on it, feeling its scratchy rough surface on her face. Abuelita followed, wringing her hands a little. She brought the tea with her, and pulled up a table to place it where Angel could reach it. She went to her own bedroom and brought a blanket and a pillow.
"Angel-cita, I thought you said you were feeling fine."
"I was. I am. This is nothing, just a cold, I think." Angel closed her eyes as a wave of nausea rushed over her.
"Mija! Your face! It's so pale!" Abuelita ran to the kitchen and returned with a wet washcloth. She placed it on Angel's forehead and left it there for awhile. Then she used it to wash Angel's temples, neck, wrists, and hands. Angel closed her eyes again. As lousy as she felt right now, it felt good to be cared for. She went to sleep with Abuelita sitting right beside her in a patch of morning sunlight. When she awoke, the light had changed and Abuelita was nowhere to be seen.
Connie heard Angel stirring and came out of the kitchen.
"Angel, you're awake. How are you feeling?"
"A little better, I think. Where's Abuelita?"
"She's gone to see her doctor. She's going to try to get him to come here, I think. I've never seen her so worried. Can I bring you something?"
"Will you bring me my purse and some water maybe?"
"Ok." Connie turned and started for the kitchen.
"Connie?" Her cousin stopped and turned back toward Angel.
"Yeah?"
"Will you also bring me the phone please?"
"Sure. Gonna call your honey?"
"Yeah, I need to talk to him right now."
Connie left and returned a minute later with some ice water and the telephone. She handed both to her cousin. Angel drank some of the water gratefully and took the phone. Connie went to the back bedroom and returned with Angel's purse. Angel dug around in it, found her prescription bottle and took out and swallowed her AZT.
"Thanks sweetie."
"You're welcome. Anything else?"
"Nope, I'm just gonna try calling Collins."
"Ok, I'll leave you alone. Let me know if you want anything else."
"Thanks."
Angel lifted the phone and dialed her own number. She turned slightly and lay the phone on her ear. She counted the rings, afraid he wasn't at home. After the fourth ring, he answered.
"Hello?" She sighed. Just hearing his voice was soothing.
"Hi lover."
"Angel! How was your trip? How is your family."
"Fine baby."
"Are you ok? You don't sound like yourself."
"I'm sick, honey."
"What? What's wrong?" Angel could hear the concern in his voice.
"It's nothing, sweetheart, I'm just feeling a little down. A cold, maybe."
"Do you need anything? What can I do to help?"
"Just hearing your voice is enough. I miss you."
"I miss you too, love."
"What are you up to today?"
"I've got all these midterms to grade. Luckily, the kids are on Spring Break, so I've got plenty of time, but there are so many of them."
"You shouldn't give tests, Professor Collins, it's mean." Angel smiled for the first time today. This was an old joke.
"Angel, should I come there?" Angel didn't answer for a long time. She really wanted to see Collins. She missed him awfully and it had been only a little more than 24 hours since she'd seen him, but she knew full well they could not afford another trip to San Juan.
"No sweetie," she said at last, "I'll be fine. My grandmother and cousin are taking good care of me. It's just a cold, after all."
"Will you call me later tonight and tell me how you're doing? I'm worried about you." Angel smiled.
"I will." She paused "Collins?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
"I love you too, Angel." She could hear the smile in his voice.
"Honey, I have to go. My cousin is here and she's taking good care of me. I'll be ok. Don't worry. I just needed to hear your voice."
"I'm glad to hear your voice too."
"Love you."
"I love you, my Angel."
"I'll call you later. 'Bye."
"'Bye."
She hung up the phone and Connie came back into the room with a mug in her hand.
"How's your guy?"
"I shouldn't have called him. I worried him."
"He loves you a lot."
"Yeah, I'm so lucky."
"Here, I made you some more tea. Let's sit you up."
Connie reached around Angel's shoulders and helped her into a sitting position. Angel felt even more nauseous than before.
"Whoa, Connie, stop!"
"What's the matter?"
"Baby, if I move one more inch, I am seriously going to throw up. I need to lay back down." Connie helped her ease back into the couch. At that moment, the front door opened and Abuelita came in with the doctor.
"Angel-cita, this is Dr Ramirez."
Angel tried to smile.
"Hiya." She felt pretty sick by now.
"Hi Angel. Sounds like you've caught a little something, huh?"
Angel switched to English, attempting to spare her grandmother pain if she could.
"Dr Ramirez, I don't know if my grandmother's told you about my HIV status. . ."
"Yes, she told me everything she knew in the car. She was pretty fuzzy on the details though. I don' t think it matters much for today anyway. How are you feeling?"
"I've been nauseous and weak all day. That's about the worst of it."
"Muscles achy?"
"Yeah, I just figured I was overtired." Dr Ramirez pulled out a thermometer and put it in Angel's ear. He pushed a button and Angel heard a beep.
"Yep, you've certainly got a fever. 102.3. Not too shabby, my friend. I'd say you've just caught some flu from someplace. It's no fun, but not too big of a deal. Stay in bed, drink plenty, and take some ibuprofen. You'll be fine in a day or so." He switched back to Spanish and winked at Abuelita. "You'll be fine, especially with such good caretakers."
"Is it possible this will become a secondary infection?" Angel was back to English again.
"Not too likely. You're just going to have to take good care of yourself and get lots of sleep to make sure it doesn't turn into pneumonia. Just take it easy for a couple of days, you'll be fine."
"Thanks, Dr Ramirez. Sorry you got dragged out here for nothing but the flu."
"It's my pleasure. Your grandmother is a great woman. I'm always willing to do whatever I can to help her out."
"Abuelita thinks you can help with my AIDS too." This was, for Abuelita's benefit, in Spanish. Dr Ramirez followed suit.
"I wish I could, but I know very little about it, regrettably. Where are you getting your care?"
"In a clinic in Alphabet City."
"I'd say that's probably the best place for you. And you're on AZT?"
"Yeah, I've been on it for about two years now."

"That's the best I know to do for it."

"How are your T-Cells?"
"They've been great, no problems."

"And your immunities? Have you been sick at all lately?"
"Not at all. I've been healthy as can be."

"Well, for someone with HIV, a flu can be dangerous, but you seem to be just about on the other side of it by now. Sleep as much as you can and try not to worry."
"Thank you, Doctor." Dr Ramirez put out his hand for Angel to shake. She took it gently and shook hands.
"It's nice to meet you Angel. Your grandmother's told me a lot about you. You'll have to come back and visit when you're feeling better." His voice was warm and kind.
"I'd like that. 'Bye."
"Goodbye Angel."
Connie led Dr Ramirez outside and stayed for a few minutes talking with him. Abuelita sat down next to Angel.
"Angel. Mija. Are you feeling any better?"
"I think I might be, actually."
Abuelita smiled and kissed Angel on the forehead.

"Sleep now, Mija."

Angel settled back into the couch and was asleep again in moments. She didn't hear Connie come back inside and pick up the phone.