I realize that I abandoned this fic for years, but recently I have the impulse to finish it, no matter what it takes. Because it has been at least 4-5 years since I touched it, my writing style has changed quite a bit, but I'm too lazy to rewrite the whole damn thing. I'm mostly active on Ao3 now, but I will update this fic here as well for consistency's sake.
The other Seekers make their appearance in this chapter. The Starscream clones were originally unnamed, which is why I headcanon that the original versions of their namesakes exist as completely different characters.
It was nerve-wracking, really.
Decepticon leadership was nothing to boast about at all, and those who think they could ought to experience being inundated in battle reports, strategy planning, messages from all the commanders and officers and frustration. See if they could still brag of "being the high-and-mighty "Supreme Leader of All Decepticons" afterwards!
Starscream was ready to reward them with a null-ray blast to the faceplates if they did.
The S Team was less than helpful. Although most of the advisors had accepted his temporary leadership and carried out his decisions, they did not give him their respect. Starscream had given up trying to demand a reasonable response from them during the meetings.
But now that he was supreme commander, he had the authority to do something about it. Starscream had deployed Strika to drive back the Autobot forces on the colonies and assigned Shockwave to full-time espionage work, admittedly because he didn't have the patience to deal with their attitude. He then tried to surround himself with the mechs who supported him, which weren't many in number.
Blitzwing was revealed as a rather competent strategic advisor when his more extreme personalities stayed put. The Seeker began to consult with the jet more often and worked with him frequently to come up with battle plans. However, it didn't escape his attention that Blitzwing was now acting more distantly than before, for he rarely inquired after Starscream's personal life nowadays. Starscream didn't think too much about this; he had dragged Blitzwing into a large workload in the first place. Neither did he have time to ponder on the other's behavior as he took full responsibility in directing the Decepticon war effort.
Now that AllSpark was gone along with the hope of ending the war quickly, he had to make preparations. The Seeker sent a group of Decepticons to the distant planet of Pyrovar to build a backup headquarters there. They had taken the colony at the start of the war and for some reason the Autobots never bothered to regain it. It was the perfect refuge if anything should happen to Kaon.
He also created a task team with the sole mission of finding out as much information about those Omega Sentinels as possible. Apart from discovering that each was supervised by an Autobot commander, the team found out little else. These sentient super weapons always beat them back with heavy losses every time they were encountered on the battlefield. The Decepticons were barely able to retreat successfully, let alone gather intel. Frustration was mounting among Decepticon high command, to the extent that Starscream found himself in shouting matches in almost every strategy meeting.
"... and what about the Wreckers? We've already lost three colonies to them and their Sentinel! Can't you do something-"
"Get off my backstruts!" Starscream snapped back at Straxus, "I'm doing everything I can already without your nagging. What do you want me to do? Disappoint them out of Bk'n?"
Shockwave's optic narrowed, "A clear course of action, Starscream. Lord Megatron trusted in your expertise in aerial assaults."
"I can't do slag if I don't have the mechs for it! Why don't you pull a whole armada out of your aft first and maybe I could do something about it?!"
"Lord Megatron would have flown out to do battle already." Straxus protested.
"And he'll be scrap metal in the first cycle the Sentinels spot him, especially in his current condition! How many times do I have to repeat myself that we can't just rush in-"
"This is going nowhere," Shockwave said in a flat voice, "We'll reconvene after our stand-in leader gets over himself."
Starscream had to exert his full restraint to stop himself from socking Shockwave, preferably in his only optic. He was at least partially grateful that this wasn't a full S-Team meeting, or he would've been trading verbal blows with Strika as well. Nothing he'd done so far was able to satisfy these three. What did Megatron have that Starscream didn't that they should listen to the warlord without question?! He had done nothing but work his aft off as his duties increased tenfold from before. Keeping their colonies, dispatching Decepticons to various locations, monitoring supply transport, trying to prevent the loss of more mechs to the Omega Sentinels. Each of his decisions held new weight, and Starscream had to stop quadruple-guessing himself every time he issued an order.
Was this what Megatron struggled with as well? How did he manage to get this far, especially with… the issues he had been carrying without any mech's knowing? Starscream winced and terminated that line of thought before he could get distracted again. It must have been utter dedication to an end goal, a Cybertron where mechs of all frame types could live without animosity, a return to the Golden Age of expansion. He could pick whatever call-to-action that Megatron had espoused before the war began, but somehow it was becoming harder to reconcile the warlord's words to the mech he'd come to know. Megatron left himself completely behind whenever he stepped into his role as leader of the Decepticons.
This realization really should've come sooner. Starscream drew an intake and turned to Shockwave and Straxus.
"I see your point," He said, "It's an issue of morale with the Wreckers. The longer we leave them alone, the more we risk our ability to fight. Perhaps we can look into assembling a task force to deal with them."
"About time! I'll see which mechs we can spare." Straxus huffed.
Shockwave only nodded, "We need to cover up this operation if it goes forward. The Autobots cannot know where our defenses have been lowered."
The two's unexpected change of attitude caught Starscream off guard. He coughed, at a loss for words, before ending the meeting in a rush.
"We really could use an entire Seeker armada though," Starscream muttered, "If Vos could just pick a fragging side already…"
If only his new position came with the ability to succeed in whatever he set out to do. Trying to turn Vos to their side would be a worthy endeavor, if Starscream wasn't already buried by work. How did that afthead Megatron even have time for anything else?!
Perhaps it wasn't enough. Starscream could bury himself in work easily, as he had done back at the Academy, going multiple solar cycles without recharge to work on his projects. But Megatron…
The Seeker spent the rest of the solar cycle wrapping up remaining tasks, before his pedes took him down the familiar path to the command quarters. A couple of mechs he met along the way raised their servos in salute as he passed by. While he would have relished in the newfound acknowledgement in the past, Starscream couldn't help but think of the other half of the faction who would rather see him gone.
At least Hook wasn't one of them. The passing medic was toting a scanner and a wrench and gave Starscream a curt nod. The seeker had little doubt that he had used the latter to disperse the torrent of visitors by threatening to dismantle each one of them if they dared to swarm this hallway. Starscream was yet to figure out why he was exempt, but at least Hook didn't see him as a nuisance to Megatron's recovery.
The door to the warlord's quarters slid open immediately after he sent a ping. Megatron was sitting at his console, looking his usual self. The room was bathed in a blue glow from the glyphs that scrolled through the display.
"Should you be working?" Starscream pointed out.
Megatron turned around, his optics brightening noticeably upon meeting the Seeker's gaze, "I'm afraid the position of berth rest enforcer has been taken by Hook. Can you match his persistence?"
"I do have a prototype paralyzer gun that I need a volunteer test subject for—"
"I stand corrected," The corner of Megatron's lips lifted, "You haven't been dropping most of the S-Team, have you?"
"Who do you think I am?! The only mech that I wanted to slag today was Shockwave! You left me with this mess in the first place. You could've at least ordered them to obey me…"
Starscream fell into the now familiar-routine of recounting what happened the past solar cycle to Megatron. The warlord always listened with silent attention, his optics never wavering from the Seeker's, his expression pensive. The solar cycle had been like the last, other than Shockwave and Straxus backing down when Starscream had stopped thinking beyond the extra work they were piling on him—
"You don't suppose that half the faction holds the impression that I'm a self-serving opportunist who relishes in power, do you?"
Megatron leaned back into his seat and threaded his servos together, "What if they do? This is part of your test as well. How you address opposition and maintain loyalty among the Decepticons is vital."
"They're probably comparing me to you! Charismatic charming Megatron with a grand vision for Cybertron against an exiled Seeker. How do you expect anyone to succeed you?"
"That's not…" Megatron started, but stopped himself at the last nanklik. Starscream noticed that his leader (for he could never get used to seeing Megatron as anyone else) was doing so a lot more recently. And like always, he allowed the sentence to remain unfinished as he averted his gaze. No smug comment or infuriating smirk followed either.
"I expected you to preen for the next megacycle to hear me admit you had charm." Starscream pointed out.
"And I expected you to have gotten a good enough taste of leadership that I should start watching my back," Megatron said, "But that doesn't seem like the case."
"Don't be ridiculous! You think I want to be in charge of running a war with terrible odds?! Hurry up and take charge again so at least all blame can be assigned to you!"
"..." Megatron was silent again.
Starscream wanted to grab the larger mech and shake him soundly. What was his malfunction in these recent solar cycles?! Didn't they just resolve most of the misunderstandings and conflict between them?! What's he still hung up about? The Seeker thought back to the cycle when he asked Starscream to take over temporarily. Still entirely too keen on touching his frame, still teasing towards Starscream's reactions. But Megatron had displayed uncharacteristic honesty, as he had done earlier while under the influence of sedatives.
"You're still shut in that indecipherable processor of yours," Starscream vented with exasperation, "Is there any time when you told another mech what's going on in there?"
"... We've changed." Megatron said instead, "Both of us, and likely the rest of the Decepticons as well."
The Seeker gave up for the solar cycle. Again, it was no use to coax anything more out of the other. Megatron was at it again with his half-cryptic statements that meant something else entirely.
"If your character ever takes a turn for the worse, I'll be there to blast you a new exhaust port, you thickbolted scrapheap!"
Megatron's neutral countenance shifted, his crimson optics suddenly warm with fondness. His servo reached out towards Starscream, only to pause and withdraw with noticeable awkwardness. It was like Megatron was actively restraining himself. Starscream wondered if the command center incident had anything to do with it, though he quickly dismissed the notion at the memory of the warlord having no issue pawing at his frame a few solar cycles ago. Whatever reason that caused the change in Megatron's behavior, it was a clear sign that he had sealed himself up again.
It was an alarming force of habit.
Megatron's thoughts seemed to unravel and meander with greater frequency during his leave. They revolved around the future of the war, and on the second-in-command who took up so much of his attention. By the AllSpark, if he couldn't pull himself together—
The artifact was gone! What use was it to use its name?!
Megatron had to do a quick reboot of said processor in order to stop himself from spiraling in another storm of broodings. Hook was coming over for a scheduled examination just to check if there was anything out of the ordinary. The warlord was not about to bring his most personal thoughts to the surface so that the medic would chance upon them accidentally.
True to his word, Hook came five cycles later with a cartful of equipment. He was unusually quiet as he attached wires and cables to Megatron's helm. The procedure was straightforward, and soon the medic was discussing the results with professional directness.
"There is nothing physically wrong with you, Lord Megatron." Hook explained, "All systems functional and in excellent condition. But that doesn't mean you're off my radar. I think you and I know the reason why."
"And you know there's nothing I can do about it," Megatron grimaced, "Apart from altering my memory files so that they don't exist in the first place."
Hook scowled, "Memory manipulation is dangerous. For the last time, I refuse to perform the procedure, even if I know that you may lose control again. Recovery is especially unpredictable, and you don't need to be dealing with that in the middle of war."
"Is there anything else I can do?"
"Get enough recharge," Hook ordered, "Don't torment yourself over the things you cannot change. And get over yourself and confront your own past."
Megatron vented slowly, fixing his gaze onto the ceiling again.
"Don't pretend you didn't hear me. I'm not oblivious to what you're doing. You cannot continue to bottle up what you don't want to remember. It will do untold damage, or not already so."
"Is that how you treat all your patients, Hook?"
"I never even went to medical school," Hook shook his helm, his visor flashing, "My primary mentor was Megazarak and the deluge of injured mechs he sent my way every solar cycle. But I had to adapt, didn't I? An industrial engineer had to become a medic to save his own aft. Don't tell me our meeting was a memory you'd rather see gone."
"Your intel was all I had to rely on," Megatron admitted, "I do remember those solar cycles well and go back to them often."
Interestingly enough, wrestling leadership from Megazarak had been an experience that the warlord could think back on without being affected. It had been necessary. Megatron wasn't even sure if another mech could have done it. Countless megacycles without recharge, the heightened awareness of being caught, the strategizing of how to gather a following, and how to confront the former Decepticon leader and oust him with full support of the faction. They had come a long way. Megatron made sure that he always remembered how, so that he would never make the same mistake as Megazarak did.
It had been exhausting. Megatron would have appreciated another mech working with him throughout. If he'd met Starscream earlier, the Seeker could have helped to recruit Decepticons, distribute his manifestos, keep watch during his clandestine speeches by flying overhead in that sleek elegant jet mode of his, deal with the more difficult mechs with his signature stubbornness, his optics narrowed, claws jabbing animatedly in the air. And at the end of the solar cycle, Starscream would likely point out everything Megatron should've done better, before curling against his frame in that empty hab suite on a half-disassembled starship that the Kaon shipbreakers somehow never completed work on. The Seeker would rest his helm against Megatron's chestplates, his wings folded parallel, his spark thrumming next to his audio receptors as the ship creaked around them.
Megatron onlined his optics and terminated that line of thought forcefully. As usual, he couldn't leave Starscream alone even when his second was absent. If Hook had realized that the warlord had drifted off, he didn't comment on it.
"You made quite the impression," The medic said as he began to pack up his tools, "You were younger than me. I originally thought you were some foolhardy upstart who didn't know better and I had to go out of my way to keep you out of trouble. But your speechmaking was provoking even back then. Most mechs take hundreds of stellar cycles to speak with that kind of authority and discernment. The first time I heard you, I knew you are nothing like Megazarak."
Hook stopped and lowered his helm, his servos fiddling with his ever present wrench.
"But I don't mean it lightly when I said that you remind me of him on many occasions. Don't make me witness the rise of another tyrant, Lord Megatron."
Hook's parting words persisted long after he left. Megatron lay in silence, his processor cycling through the events and decisions that brought him to where he was now. Where would he be if he chose to leave instead of confronting his predecessor?
Anywhere but a warlord commandeering an army into battle, most likely. Anywhere but a leader who made the decision to take the Decepticons to war, who may or may not have used his ideals for Cybertron to burn away what remained of Megazarak's influence.
Millions of stellar cycles of war with no end in sight. How many Decepticons had fallen with the belief they had given their spark for a worthy cause? They knew nothing of how the rest of the faction were now fighting for survival, and how Megatron could do little to turn the tides. Rhetorics did nothing, neither did charisma. Even that was in doubt after what he did in the command center. Then what was left?
Starscream was quick to notice Megatron's change of mood when he came by the next solar cycle. His second always did, even though he struggled visibly in bringing it up.
"Megatron, I—No, slag it all. What's bothering you now?" Starscream gesticulated with an air of frustration.
"We've lost too many Decepticons since Altihex was taken."
"That can be fixed. We can turn that around if we manage to cripple most of the Omega Sentinels. They can't pin us down forever…"
The accursed Autobot superweapons, which no Decepticon could stand against so far. They had no right to be resisting as fiercely as they were. It was their fault for prolonging the war, that they tossed the AllSpark into regions unknown, that more mechs are offlining by the solar cycle, that he had no idea what lay ahead and what he could have done better to turn the situation around.
Starscream's features softened. His servo reached for Megatron's, the tips of his claws prickling for the briefest of nanokliks. But something flashed in his topics. His second turned around and left his quarters without another word.
He wanted to stop him, to grasp Starscream's servo and pull him close and tell him everything, regardless that this might overstep the final boundary that kept them as leader and second-in-command. Or perhaps they have already. From the time when he thought Starscream would make a good frag and pulled out all charm to win him over, to… whatever this was becoming.
Starscream was defiant, short-tempered, critical, and difficult, but somehow every solar cycle spent with him felt shorter than it should. How should such a mech mean to Megatron, especially with his ability to affect him so often? With full knowledge that they were in the middle of war and an entire faction depended on him to lead, he went ahead and indulged himself regardless. But now he had even less right, not after losing control and then collapsing from overstressed systems afterwards.
The memory of Starscream's servo resting on his helm as he drifted among dismal half-coherent thoughts resurfaced. His second, who had defied his expectations and tended to him despite having all the reasons to stay away, who had been there when he needed his support the most. It would be so easy to latch on and treat the Seeker as a way out of all his troubles.
And Starscream would be willing as well, but Megatron knew that was no longer an option he was privileged to take.
Starscream could feel a helm-ache coming on. When he agreed to give leadership a try, he also didn't anticipate the absolute deluge of communications that came along and the tedium of responding to them. At least the chaos was slightly preferable to Megatron's new distant and unresponsive demeanor. He had been trying for decacyles to break the uncomfortable silence that stretched between them during his visits, but Megatron wasn't budging.
Why did he even bother?! Starscream saw Oil Slick's report on the ongoing battle at Hydrax Plateau and promptly slapped a servo to his own faceplates. He was going to have a very stern word with the chemist about not testing uncontrollable mixtures with Decepticons present. They'd lost the entire squad.
And then another report on the Wreckers, well, wrecking havoc on Salvvatan IV and destroying a shipyard. Some progress made in a prisoner exchange agreement. Requests for resupply at the outer colonies (He probably needed to find a better method for that than overworking Astrotrain). Worrisome news about Quintesson activity where the Decepticons were currently regrouping their space fleet…
And the intermittent but frequent personal messages that came once every stellar cycle, from two very familiar names who still brought a pang to his spark. Starscream had stopped responding shortly after he was exiled, mostly because he didn't want to think about the life he could have had. Add his studies, dealing with the Academy's denial of his degree and the chaos of his early days with Decepticons, the Seeker believed he had good reasons to remain unresponsive. But the most recent message, sent a solar cycle ago, clearly did not.
I know you won't respond, but I'm going to continue trying. The bond between former trinemates isn't so easily broken. At least tell us that you're still functioning, Starscream. Why are you still so determined to ignore us?
Don't try anything rash, Thundercracker. I'm in the middle of running a war here. Starscream sent, before turning back to Oil Slick's report to compose a summons.
It was a mistake. His vision immediately lit up with another tidal wave of notifications, scrolling so fast that he could barely see their contents. Starscream groaned and dug his servos into the console in front of him. He should've been content with the utter mess that was his communications log.
Starscream! You're still around! I can't believe you ignored us for thousands of stellar cycles! Some trinemate you are, pretending like you never knew us.
Skywarp, don't send your messages so quickly. What if he's in the middle of something?
Well whatever he's doing I hope it blows up in his faceplates because that's what he deserves! You hear me, Screamer?!
Starscream scowled, the familiar nickname bringing both fondness and irritation. For the last time don't call me that. I have a reputation to uphold.
I don't know if I'm relieved or worried that you don't seem to have changed a bit, Starscream, Thundercracker said, You're still terrible with saying anything remotely nice.
That's why we stuck around with him, because he can't get along with anyone else! You should've seen how Ramjet unloaded all of his thoughts about you after you left!
That's not—
I didn't know his vocabulary was so colorful. Even Thrust was impressed—
Skywarp, that's not the point! Thundercracker protested.
Starscream watched the exchange with a growing sense of disorientation. It was both familiar and strange to be roped into his trinemates' arguing again, but there was a sense that he had missed a large part of the new closeness that had developed between these two.
Thanks for reminding me why I never responded, Skywarp. The past thousands of stellar cycles were blissful without you barging on me with your inane ideas.
Aw Screamer! Who else would dare to keep you from overworking yourself?
And me, Starscream? What did you have against me? Thundercracker asked.
You're just plain boring. I didn't even bother.
Yes, I missed you too.
To his own surprise, Starscream wasn't as repulsed by the exchange as he thought it would be. His former trinemates had launched straight into their usual antics as if nothing had ever happened since they last met.
I thought you wanted to kick my skidplate from Skywards Tower to the Sea of Rust if you ever saw me again, Thundercracker.
Because you were being an insufferable aft. You didn't have to accept the exile. Skywarp and I were ready to defend you to our last intake.
You didn't have to be so mean about it either! TC was ready to cry when you called him a flying scrapheap with no talents except for startling mechs with his sonic boom. Even when you decided to leave, there's nothing wrong with us wanting to visit you!
Starscream had struggled to ignore the invitation during his first solar cycles at the Academy, surrounded by mechs he shared no common background with and bewildered at how different the culture was from Vos. Solitude was foreign to him as well. But even that was preferable to going back on his resolve in leaving, which Thundercracker and Skywarp would not have helped in. The two had gone on to become full-fledged members of Vosian Air Command as well.
I suppose you need another million stellar cycles to process where you want to be, but I don't think I want to respect your desire to be left alone for that long, Thundercracker's resignation could be felt through his text, You mentioned something about running a war. Are you fighting in the Autobot Decepticon conflict?
I can't tell you much, but I'm standing in for Megatron for now.
Wait… Skywarp realized, Megatron is the leader of the Decepticons, which means that you are—
By the AllSpark, Starscream, I can't believe—
I'm only telling you two because I don't want you two spamming my communications feed from now on. Don't make this information public.
A long pause from their end. Starscream's scowl grew deeper as cycles ticked by.
My apologies. Skywarp went off telling as many Seekers he could get his servos on. I had to stop him. You should have known better than to tell him any secret.
Starscream threw his servos up in the air, So now it's my fault! Of course it is.
This is awesome news! It's gotta be shared. I don't why you're trying to stop me, TC. The coneheads are going to be grinding their gears! And Nightstrike will be wringing out both of his servos—
For spark's sake stop it, Skywarp! It's not intended public information! And I'm surprised you would end up doing that, Starscream. Didn't you choose exile because you wanted a scientific career no matter what anyone said?
I didn't ask to lead an army either. I started out as a scientist among the Decepticons, but…
Where to begin describing everything that happened between him and Megatron to his estranged trinemates? Starscream's helm-ache came back with a vengeance.
Does this mean we can join you now, Screamer? Vos may be neutral, but that doesn't mean we are! I'm done sitting on my aft. Lemme shoot some Autobots!
Don't say that so flippantly, Warp. It's nothing like our training exercises.
Have you two been following recent events of the war?
Yes. For some reason, Thundercracker's reply held more weight than the single word implied.
Something about the AllSpark being tossed into space? Skywarp asked, That sounds bad for Cybertron. Also some kind of superweapon that's been destroying a lot of stuff?
That's not even half of it.
There was a growing commotion outside of the command center. Helms were beginning to turn. Starscream stood and made his way to the doors. But his processor still worked to word what he truly wanted to express. Skywarp's enthusiasm brought back his uncertainty, and the impulse to simply invite the two to join him hit the Seeker with full force.
To add two more mechs whom he'd keep company with, so that he'd have someone else to rant about Megatron's infuriating commitment to silence. To reunite with his trinemates and fight at their side. To take down an Omega Sentinel with their combined firepower.
And to see them blasted from the sky by a Sentinel's quasar beams, their broken frames crashing into the rubble below.
Look, I'm not here to recruit you two. Stay in Vos, and keep your helms down.
Heh, maybe that's not up to you to decide. Skywarp said with smugness.
What did you—Did you tell Sunstorm? I thought I jammed your comm. frequencies. Skywarp, you are an absolute menace when you put your mind to it. How'd you even—
The command center doors slid open to reveal a large group of mechs surrounding all three Reflector triplets from the intelligence team. It took some shoving and shouting on Starscream's part to get past the crowd, and realize the excitement was there for good reason.
"This just in! There's a lot of commotion going on at Vosian leadership for some reason. All signs point to a possible alliance with us!"
The group burst into another wave of disbelieving exclamations, but Starscream was having trouble picking out individual words. The absurdity of what he'd just unleashed in an instance of annoyance was still a struggle to process.
Someone was getting throttled for this. And of course it was all Megatron's fault in the first place.
Feedback for the overworked writer? The pandemic has shut me in to the point that I'm reviving dead fics now instead of doing actual work ^_^