Hello, my fellow reader. This is the story of Pink: The Source of All Evil!I changed my mind, this is only gona be humor, so it just might work.
PS: Sorry if this story offends any pink lovers.
PSS: My Japanese is a bit rusty. Bear with me, alright?
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, though if I did, Hinata would kick butt and Naruto wouldn't be so stupid….
Chapter 1: The Fun Begins!
Sakura lay against the tree, resting from her vigorous training. The irresponsible Tsunade left her out there with Shizune, telling them to spar each other. Sakura shook her head. This girl is a fricken' Jounin!
"Sakura! It's hasn't even been an hour yet! C'mon out and fight!" Shizune said. Sakura breathed in. Time to use that jutsu, she thought.
She stepped out of her hiding place. Shizune got ready and ran at her. Sakura performed some handseals.
"Ninpou, Sakura no Jutsu!" She screamed. Pink petals appeared behind her and flew at Shizune, who was shocked to see such a-a useless jutsu! Suddenly, the sakura petals rushed at breakneck speed, and Shizune jumped out of the way to avoid being sliced up, only to receive minor injury around her legs. Sakura sneered.
"That was good, but this time you're going down!" She said the last word in a gangster way. Shizune laugh.
"Bring it on, punk!"
Sakura performed a different set of handseals. "Yo, Genjutsu, Pink Jutsu! Dude!" (I know, it's lame and weird…--) Shizune looked around. This genjutsu wasn't very affective, whatever it was. Suddenly, her outfit began to turn pink! Shizune screamed.
"AHH! IT'S PINK!" Shizune screamed louder. Her outfit turned pinker and pinker, until it was such a blinding pink that she had to shield her eyes.
"What have you done to my outfit?" Shizune cried, sobbing quietly, mourning for her pink-ing outfit. She had totally forgotten that this was genjutsu.
"Your outfit isn't the only thing turning pink!" Sakura pointed out. To Shizune's horror, she was right. Everything in her sight was turning pink. Pink clouds, pink trees, pink birds, pink Kakashi reading the disgusting pink book. Even Sakura, who usually is already very pink, is pinker than usual! Everything kept getting brighter and brighter, until Shizune could see nothing a pink. No matter if she opens or closes her eyes, the pink still haunts her.
Shizune sank down, curled up, and sucked on her thumb. "pink…." She said weakly. "Too…much….pink!" She slowly rocked back and forth.
Sakura shook her head. "I think that's enough." She formed the ram handseal. "Kai!"(Release) she yelled. Shizune stopped shaking and fell unconscious. Sakura sighed.
"I guess I have to heal her traumatized head." She gave another sigh, formed green chakra, and put her hand on Shizune's head.
oooooooooooooooooooo
Tsunade was rummaging through her stuff, when she suddenly dreamed about dangoes(1). Yummy, delicious dangoes. She thought. She started drooling, not noticing there was someone outside her window, forming a headseal.
"Dai Shintenshin no Jutsu!"(Grand Mind Transfer Jutsu)(2)
And Tsunade fell unconscious.
oooooooooooooooooooo
Sakura left Shizune in the Konoha Hospital. She was conscious, but her mind was still filled with too much pink. Sakura didn't know she had made such a fearsome jutsu. She grinned to herself. She might even beat Sasuke! While she was thinking, she failed to notice the brown bird flying above her.
oooooooooooooooooooo
At Orochimaru's place, Sasuke sneezed a loud sneeze while performing a fire jutsu, magnifying it. Orochimaru squealed. "Sasuke, you're a genius!" He hugged Sasuke, who was too disgusted to react. Orochimaru straighten himself out.
"Ahem. Now, FETCH ME MY SANDWICH! It is an important part of your training."
oooooooooooooooooooo
Kurenai and Asuma looked at each other. What is it now, they were both wondering. They looked at Kakashi, who could only shrug. Everyone was buzzing around noisily, waiting to see what the announcement was. At last, Tsunade came walking out, her hands on her hips.
"Citizens of Konoha, I have an announcement make!" Everyone fell silent and looked at her. She cleared her throat.
"Pink has been announce the source of all evil!"
Everyone gasped, looked at each other, and began ripping every single piece of pink they had on them. Kakashi took out the whiteout and took his Icha Icha Paradise out.
"Sorry, pink, but you gotta go." He began going over all the pink, which was what most of the book's color what consisted of.
Tsunade took a good look at the crowd before going back to her room. She looked around the room and smiled.
"Hahaha! I am a genius, for I am--" She was interrupted by Kotetsu and Izumo, who reported that they were out of sake.
oooooooooooooooooooo
Sakura quietly walked along the streets of Konoha, wondering why it was so quiet. Suddenly, she heard the chanting of "MUST DESTROY PINK!" She turned to see an large angry mobbed holding out anti-pink signs, running towards her with weapon at hand. Tenten was leading the group, her normal pink outfit turned into a blue outfit.
"DIE! You evil pink bearer!" She threw grabbed for her weapons, then forgot that her weapon pouch was linked to her...shudder...pink outfit. She grabbed a hairpin instead. "Take hairclip!"
Sakura, recovering from her shock, jumped out of the destructive hairpin's path and ran away, out of the village.
"Yeah, and don't come back!" Tenten waved her fist aggressively. "Or else, you would have to face my Destructive Hair Net!" She gave her evil laugh, which resemble that of a dying hamster.
oooooooooooooooooooo
On the wall of the Hokage's room, there was list named "List of Missing-Nin of Konoha". Currently, it read:
Orochimaru, Threat:10/10; Aoi, Threat:6/10; Uchiha Itachi, Threat:10/10; Uchiha Sasuke, Threat: 5/10; Yakushi Kabuto, Threat:8/10; Haruno Sakura, Threat:1/10
Tsunade looked at the list. Sakura's threat level was just too funny. The soul inside Tsunade relaxed. Now that Sakura's gone, nothing will stand in it's way. But if it let's go of Tsunade's body, Tsunade might ruin all of it's plan. So it must wait until it brainwash everybody, including Tsunade. Just thinking about it made it giggle.
oooooooooooooooooooo
Sakura jumped from tree to tree, wondering what the hell just happened. I've probably been put in the missing-nin list. This is so not fair. She thought. However, now, I'm free to go find Sasuke.
With that in mind, she jumped away from the Hidden Leaf and more into the outer world.
To be continued...
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Many of you would probably think that was the worst humor you've ever seen. Flames are not appreciated, but helpful criticism's are. Please R&R!
Explanations
(1) If you have not seen the later episodes of Naruto, dangoes are grilled rice paste in a shape of a ball. Usually, they are presented by three on a bamboo skewer. They are usually coated with sauce, such as anko, a sweet bean paste, or a brown sauce made from sugar and soy sauce.
(2) Shintenshin no Jutsu actually means Art of the Valentine.