Hey guys! I'm sorry I didn't update right away; I have been so busy! It isn't easy balancing a full time college class load and then working almost thirty hours a week. I have also been sick, so I haven't really felt like doing anything. I am so behind in my classes, it isn't even funny. But, in my free time I sit down and write.

I know my story has been mushy, but I am so stressed out and it makes me happy. Plus, from what I have seen in the previews and from what I have read in the magazines, it is going to be a tough season for Derek and Meredith. This is the closest they are going to get to happiness for right now. So enjoy this while we watch them hurt each other on TV!

I might also do some revisions but it would just be more detailed. I'm still sick but I wanted to get something up. Enjoy!

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Derek led Meredith into the restaurant, where they were quickly greeted and seated.

They ordered water instead of wine because of Meredith's condition and Derek didn't want to drink and possibly impair his vision while driving with Meredith in the car.

The topic discussed at dinner brought forward some insecurity among the couple.

"Mer, is there something bothering you? You haven't said much since we left the house. Are you having fun?" Derek asked.

"I'm fine, I was just thinking about a couple of things, please don't worry." Meredith said, knowing exactly what was bothering her.

Derek seemed somewhat satisfied but there was some doubt. He knew Meredith and her behavior was not exactly her normal self. Ever since last year, they vowed to not keep secrets from each other. Secrets only bring pain; they knew that too well.

They made some more small chat, talking about all the gossip at the hospital, including the fact that there was a new opening for a surgeon. They wondered where the new surgeon would come from.

They also talked about their Lamaze class.

"Derek, I hope you can come to my next Lamaze class with me, considering you're the father. Do you know how annoying it was to have Alex there? Yea, he

really enjoyed that." Meredith said as she chuckled lightly.

"Well" said Derek, "would you rather have had Bailey?"

"Ugh, could you imagine Bailey? I would feel extra awkward!" Meredith exclaimed

"Yea, that would be funny actually. Our focus object is the little ferry boat right?" Derek asked as Meredith finished off her steak, and then he added, "Wow Mer, I didn't even finish my steak!"

"Ok," Meredith began, "first of all, yes we are using the ferryboat as our focus object. Secondly, why did you mention the steak? Am I getting too fat?" Meredith asked with tears in her eyes.

"Oh crap, I've really put my foot in my mouth now." Derek thought to himself. "I have got to learn to watch what I say, Meredith is really sensitive lately." Derek reminded himself. "I'm sorry Mer, I didn't mean anything by it. I know you are eating for two and you are not fat! You are perfectly healthy for a woman who is seven and a half months pregnant and have still managed to keep off the extra weight some other woman gain. You look beautiful pregnant. Don't forget that, ok?" Derek said as he went to hug her.

A second later Derek looked at his watch and realized that if they were going to take a ferryboat, they had better get going. It was already nearing 8:30.

He paid the check and they headed off to the boats.

A half and hour later they were sitting on a seat on the boat, which was still docked.

Meredith felt weird all of a sudden and decided to head to the bathroom.

"Mer, I'll be right here when you get back, don't be too long though. I don't want you to miss the scenery." Derek said as he kissed Meredith's forehead.

"I'll be fine Derek, love you" Meredith said as she headed to the bathroom.

"Love you too Mer!" Derek said as he watched her go.

Meredith hurried off to the bathroom, she really wasn't feeling well and she didn't know why. She had never been pregnant before and didn't know what was normal or not. She figured it might just be anxiety; she's had a lot of it lately and especially tonight. "How am I going to be a good mother? My mother was barely around to teach me how. I'm an intern, the bottom of the food chain; I am so scared about failing. I love my baby but can I make it? I love Derek but sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough. Plus, now he's got me thinking about Addison. I can't forget about her, it makes me so nervous. I'm so scared she's not out of out lives yet." Meredith thought to herself as she looked in the bathroom mirror and felt the baby kick. She quickly put her hand to her belly and went back to her thoughts.

"What is she comes back? What am I going to do? I love Derek and I am so afraid of losing him. I know he loves me but sometimes I am so insecure. Let's face it, I have never been lucky in the company department. I've always been a loner, I hope I can do this." Meredith thought as she headed back to Derek.

She walked onto the main deck where she knew Derek would be. "We must be getting ready to leave soon." Meredith said to herself as she searched for her husband.

Then she saw it; her worst fear had come true.

Addison Shepard was kissing Derek. Derek Shepard, her husband.

Meredith quickly rushed over to where they stood, "Derek what he hell are you doing?"

"It isn't what you think Meredith, she kissed me. I don't know what the hell she is thinking!" Derek exclaimed in his defense.

"Addison, stay away from my husband! What are you thinking? He has a wife with a baby on the way? Divorce means divorce! I am his wife now!" Meredith yelled at Addison, causing people to look.

"Oh, your pregnant? I thought you looked a little heavy." Addison said with a snide grin on her face.

"Go to hell Addison, stay out of my life. I can't believe this! Derek take me home now!" Meredith demanded, shocked at what she saw.

With that, Meredith walked off in a huff with Derek following quickly behind.

As he left, he shot a hateful glance at Addison.

"Meredith, wait up!" Derek called out in the parking lot along the pier. He caught up to her as they neared the BMW.

"Meredith please talk to me, the kiss meant nothing! She kissed me; she surprised me! I didn't know she was back in town," Derek pleaded.

"Just get in the car, Derek. Drive me home and we'll talk. People are staring at us." Meredith said as Derek closed her door and headed toward his.

5 minutes later they were in the car heading home.

"I'm sorry Mer. I didn't know tonight was gong to be like this. I know it is our anniversary and it shouldn't be like this. Please forgive me; I didn't know she was going to kiss me. She just appeared there. She must be in town applying for the new surgeon position. Please Meredith, I love you. You are the only one I love." Derek said tenderly as he went to grab Meredith's hand.

She pulled away from his grasp, bringing tears to Derek's eyes.

"Derek, I know you too well to know that you would not leave me. But, you responded to her kiss and I am so scared of losing you. You should have just told her off or something. I hate that woman Derek; I hate what she does to us. Do you know how it felt when I saw you guys kissing? I felt my whole world break apart. I am so insecure right now. Maybe it's hormones, I don't know." Meredith said with tears streaming down her face. This time she let Derek grab her hand.

Derek was about to respond when he saw the lights speeding toward him. But, he couldn't swerve in time.

He yelled out "I love you Meredith!" as the sound of shattering metal and glass filled the air and the blackness engulfed them.