A/N: The Misfits are Red Witch's and the X-Men are not mine. Another one-shot bit of hilarity starring everyone's favorite canines!
DOG DAYS
"Someone break out the first aid kits!" Rogue called to the X-Men as they lounged about in the living room. "Forge is at it again!"
"Very funny." Forge said as he walked into the room. "I got sick of people trying to figure out what kind of animal they were based on their Zodiac signs or what year of the Chinese calendar they were born in or by studying those stupid Animalogy books. So I decided, I'd make a machine to determine what animal people are most like!"
"Forge that is the stupidest…well second, no wait…okay, maybe the twelve or so stupidest idea you've ever had." Remy said with a sigh. "Trying to figure out what animal we're most like? Come on!"
"Yeah, we already know that Remy's like a bunny rabbit named Peter Cottontail!" Tabitha cackled.
"Shut up!" Remy said, going red.
"Look, this is perfectly safe." Forge assured them, holding up a small scanner. "All I do is scan someone and the display will tell us what animal they're most like. What could possibly go wrong?"
"Every time someone says that an angel gets its wings ripped off." Rogue groaned.
"Come on! Who wants l be the first to try it?" Forge asked.
"Hi everyone." Rahne said as she walked in from the kitchen. "What's going on?"
"Grab her!" Bobby said.
"What? Hey, wait, what are you doing?" Rahne demanded as the others dragged her over to the couch and plopped her down.
"Sorry Rahne, better you than us." Ray said. "Hit it Forge!"
"Now just a minute—" Rahne started to say when Forge activated the scanner. A bright blue light bathed over Rahne. Rahne started to feel a strange sensation. All of a sudden she felt herself change. Her eyesight changed and everything around her started to grow bigger. It took a minute to realize that it was actually her that was getting smaller.
Rahne blinked and before she knew it she felt her clothes starting to billow around her. In less than a minute Rahne was replaced by her usual wolf form, sitting amid her own clothing.
"Wow…turns out that the animal Rahne resembles most is a wolf. Who'd have thought it?" Tabitha said sarcastically. "I mean it's not like she just, I don't know, turns into one whenever she feels like it!"
"Um, question? When Rahne transforms doesn't her clothes usually change with her?" Jamie asked as he pointed to the wolf sitting atop a pile of Rahne's clothes.
"Ooh boy." Forge groaned. "I didn't think this would happen!"
"You never do!" Rahne snapped from on the couch. She blinked. "Wait…did I just speak? In wolf form?"
"That's new too." Scott said.
"Well at least there's no lasting harm done, I mean she can just turn back whenever she wants…" Forge started before Rahne, snarling cut him off.
"I've already tried! I can't change back!"
"What?" Scott yelped. "Forge!"
"Don't look at me the scanner flipped out!" It was true, the device had started smoking and sputtering ever since Rahne's transformation. "I can't change her back either."
"Look on the bright side." Remy suggested. "If you could have turn back, you'd have been naked." Rahne growled at him.
"Now what?" Kitty asked.
"Well, we should probably move Rahne's clothes off the couch." Ray suggested. "I'll do it."
"Touch my clothes and I'll bite your leg off!" Rahne barked from the couch.
"Calm down Rahne." Rogue said. "You don't know what diseases he might have."
"Yeah, I—hey!" Ray protested.
"I'll take your things up." Paige said as she gathered Rahne's clothes in a bundle.
"In the mean time." Scott said to Forge. "You had better turn Rahne back to normal. Fast."
"I'll get right on it." Forge gulped as he ran off.
"What if he can't turn me back?" Rahne whimpered. "What if I'm stuck as a wolf forever?"
"Well, I'll tell you one thing, I'm not walking her." Bobby said. Rahne growled and pounced on him. "YAAAH! NOT THE FACE!"
"Rahne, calm down!" Jean said. "Maybe you should just stay in your room for a bit. It might wear off on its on."
Rahne, grumbling leaped off Bobby and started bounding up the stairs.
"Well we're off to a great day." Kurt grumbled.
"Hi everybody!" Toad said as he and the Misfits walked in.
"And it just got better." Scott groaned. "What are you doing here?"
"Well, my sisters decided to play around with some tools and they sort of rebuilt a certain…device." Althea said.
"What device?" Scott asked.
"Well…"
Rahne was on her way to her room when she caught whiff of a strange scent. She looked around. "What the—?"
"Helloooo, gorgeous!" Rahne looked in front of her too see a silver furred coyote with the all too familiar voice of Pietro.
"What the—? Who are…what are you?" She asked in surprise.
"I'm your hunka burning love, baby!" The coyote grinned, his eyes turning into a pair of little hearts as if he were some Tex Avery cartoon.
"Keep away from me!" Rahne said, baring her teeth and raising her hackles.
"Just one little kiss?" The coyote pleaded.
"NO!"
"You know you want me…" He smirked as he batted his eyes and puckered his lips—which normal coyotes shouldn't have but who said he was normal?—and leaned in for a kiss.
"I'm out of here!" Rahne said as she turned around and scampered off.
"Oh is that how you want to play it? Hard to catch, eh?" The coyote shrugged. "All right." He bounded after her a la Pepe Le Pew.
"THEY REBUILT THE MCGUFFIN DEVICE?" Scott exploded. "You mean that stupid coyote of Lance's is running around loose somewhere in the Mansion?"
"Not our fault Trinity gave him a teleportation watch." Toad grumbled.
"Great, who knows what trouble that coyote could be causing?" Kitty groaned.
"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Rahne shouted as she ran through the room.
"Honeybunch! You know you love me!" The coyote answered as he bounded through after her.
"Now we know what trouble that coyote it causing." Fred blinked.
"And knowing is—" Toad started.
"Another reason to pound you losers into next year!" Scott snapped. "Get that blasted hound!"
"Why, what did Rahne do?" Pietro asked before getting smacked by his sister.
"Why doesn't she just turn back into a human?" Lina asked.
"Thanks to Forge, she can't." Rogue grumbled.
"Oh boy." Althea groaned. "I think Rahne's in for a rough ride."
"You think?" Scott demanded.
0000000000000
"Keep back!" Rahne warned as the chase continued across the Mansion.
"I just want to cuddle!" The coyote pouted.
"Try it and it'll be the last thing you ever do!"
"Don't you want to have my cubs?"
"I want you neutered you nut!"
"Awww…you know you want me!" The coyote grinned. Rahne groaned and kept running.
Just when she thought she'd finally lost him, she turned a corner and there he was, sitting over a plate of spaghetti with meatballs.
"How about a romantic dinner for two? Oh this is the night, it's a beautiful night..."
"Why me?" Rahne whined.
"Because you're cute!" The coyote gave her a quick lick on the cheek and then scampered off as he left Rahne frothing with rage. She would've started to see red if wolves weren't colorblind.
"I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!" She bellowed as she chased after him.
"I knew you found me irresistible!" He grinned as Rahne chased him. The two canines raced across the Institute. Logan made the mistake of trying to walk through a hallway as they came barreling through. The next thing he knew, he had paw marks all over his body.
"I need a drink." He muttered from his place on the floor. When the coyote ducked into Kitty's room, Rahne followed. The bed was jumped on, pillows were torn, and outfits were covered in fur…especially the dress the coyote put on.
"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful." He said as Rahne chased him.
"Believe me, that's not the reason why!" She snapped.
As the madcap insanity ensued, the X-Men and Misfits just stood by and watched…and tried not to get run over.
"It's like watching a cartoon." Kitty said as the coyote whooped and hollered like Daffy Duck as Rahne chased him through the living room again.
"Shouldn't we do something?" Lina asked.
"No thanks, we prefer to live." Wanda replied.
"Don't worry. Sooner or later the Joes will get my sisters to shut the McGuffin Device off."
"Yeah, probably just after they finish trashing our home!" Kurt said as he heard something expensive sounding break.
Rahne was in a blind hunt, she was barely aware of where she was going. All she was focused on was the coyote just tantalizing out of reach of her paws. So when the coyote ducked into the gym bathroom, Rahne pursued.
She didn't even notice the water until she slipped and went skidding across the wet floor and into the showers.
Rahne was drenched and frankly the smell of wet wolf wasn't any better than that of any other wet dog. She couldn't see anything, somehow a towel had ended up on her head as she went sliding into the bathroom.
"RAHNE!" Sam screamed as he tried to cover himself up. "GIVE A GUY SOME PRIVACY WILL YA!"
Rahne felt the inside of her ears go hot as she ran out of the bathroom.
"Say it isn't so!" The coyote moaned when Rahne came charging out of the bathroom. "How could you? Think of the children!"
"DIE!" Rahne screamed as she started chasing the coyote again. The chase had taken Rahne right past her room when she bowled into an invisible Xi, who promptly reappeared.
"Hi." Xi said simply as Rahne sat on his chest. "Can I get up?"
"What's the lizard got that I haven't got?" The coyote asked in a hurt voice. "I bet old lizard lips can't do this! MWAH!" Rahne nearly screamed again when the coyote kissed her.
"When I get my hands on you—!" She said as she reached out her arms to strangle the coyote, needing half a moment to realize that she actually had arms again. The shock had snapped her back to her human form. Rahne would've been delighted if not for the fact that she was naked and Xi was still there.
"What d'ya know? True loves kiss does get rid of enchantments." The coyote said. "Too bad. No offense, but I liked you better the other way."
Blushing crimson, Rahne bolted into her room and slammed the door behind her.
"Something I said?" The coyote asked Xi. Xi shrugged.
"YOU!" Rahne said as she came out, hastily dressed, and grabbed the coyote by the throat. "I am going to kill you!"
"Gotta go!" The coyote gulped as he wriggled out of her grip and ran off.
"DIE! DIE! DIE!" Rahne bellowed as she chased the coyote around the Mansion again. By this time the others had heard the screaming and had come up to see what was happening.
"Xi? What's going on?" Althea asked.
"I think this place has gone to the dogs." Xi said with a straight face.
THE END