Boring Author's Notes: Okay, so I noticed I had this story on this computer too. You just might get a lot of updates during weekends only. Good? Bad? Tastes like coffee? Who knows. Who knows. And don't worry, the actual party itself will soon start.

Enjoy. :)

Three days before Lee's birthday

Steve stopped massaging his temples and looked up on Bryan again.

"Alright, Bryan. I'll tell you this one more time. Every time you curse, I will smack you with this fancy flyswatter. Understood?"

Bryan thought for a while.

"What's wrong with cursing?"

Steve, who had by now understood pretty much how Bryan worked, came up with a good answer pretty fast.

"Basically nothing, but you do it too much, you see? Most women find that unappealing. Now do you get it?"

"Hell yeah!"

Steve immediately smacked him over the head with the flyswatter. Hard.

"NO! Bad cyborg! Bad!" he roared while he continued smacking him. Bryan waved his hands in front of his face, almost as if trying to get rid of an annoying fly.

"Argh! Hey! Stop it!"

- - -

Ganruy quickly opened the envelope and took the letter out. He read it and smiled.

"A party, huh?" he said to himself. "Good! It's been a while since I got to bring the guys to… oh."

He noticed the little box at the end of the letter.

"NOTE: Please, no friends. This is complicated enough already."

He looked up and shrugged before he walked to the bedroom. There he opened the closets and looked at the variety of large suits, large casual clothes and large thongs. A lot of large thongs.

"Hmm… Maybe I should try black this time. They say it works for anything. But I am a fan of pink… Of course, last time I wore that something went horribly wrong… But it's still a very nice colour… Ooh, that one there feels so good on the skin!"

He took the last one out and rubbed it against his cheek.

"Oooooh yes…"

- - -

Eddy woke up with a start.

"Monkeys!" he whined quickly, before he realized where he were. He giggled to himself and wiped some drool off his cheek. He was on the couch again.

"Christie!" he called. "CHRISTIE!"

He got no answer.

"CHRIIISTIE!"

Still nothing for a moment. Then he heard a mutter from the bedroom and someone finally grunted loudly.

"What have I done this time!" Eddy tried to ask.

He heard some disgusting noises, but she never really answered. He muttered some rambling thing about slippers and sat up.

"Get your ass out here!"

Finally, she appeared in the doorway. She looked bad. Really bad.

"What do you want…?"

Eddy frowned.

"I dunno. Didn't you tell me to…?"

"No, no, I just want to sleep…"

"Sleep? When they're still around?"

"Oh yeah… sorry."

They fell silent because they had no idea what they were talking about.

"Now what about that coffee?" Eddy finally barked. Christie rolled her eyes.

"There ain't gonna be coffee. I'll check the mail."

"We get mail?"

She walked away to the front door, stopped and stared in amazement at the envelope on the carpet. She looked back at Eddy.

"This is THE smallest box ever!"

Eddy looked over the back of the couch.

"Wow." He stated with a strangely amazed tone of voice before he fell back again. "That is a small box." He added from there.

Nothing happened for a few minutes.

"So what's inside?" Eddy finally asked.

"I dunno… some things man is not meant to know."

"Like what's really on the moon."

"Why sheep aren't called sheeps."

"How fish survive in the winter."

"Who invented bread."

"Wait a minute… didn't we have this conversation yesterday?"

"There was a yesterday?"

"Whoa… that's so deep."

"Yeah."

"Yeah…"

They fell silent again, thinking about on how many levels that work. Or why they thought of it in the first place.

"What do you think is in there, Eddy?"

"How am I supposed to know? I mean… you know."

"Yeah… I mean… yeah. Should we open it?"

"You remember what happened last time we opened a box?"

"Yeah. It was kinda funny."

"I thought it was brownies. Honest!"

She ignored him, went back and sat down on the couch beside him.

"Honest!" he whined.

"Whatever, Eddy…"

"But then the police came along… it was just horrible. Wasn't it, Christie? Huh!"

"Yeah."

He gave her a sheepish smile.

"I love you."

"Yes, and I love you. Now give me some sugar, bitch."

- - -

Nina cleared her throat, corrected her skirt and made sure her top wasn't too revealing. She then rang the doorbell and waited. An old man opened the door.

"Yes, is this about... OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!"

He grinned happily and then suddenly clutched his left arm with a gurgling noise before collapsing to the floor. His right leg twitched a bit. Nina stared at him before looking up in the sky with a smile.

"You just love me, dontcha?"

She giggled.

"Oh stop… thanks, it's a brand new shirt. Do you like it? Yeah, I thought you would."

She giggled again, almost blushing.

"You just can't wait to kill me off, can you?"

With the little conversation over, she grabbed the old man's feet and dragged him out into the backyard. She dropped him, dusted her hands off, looked around and then shrugged.

"Good enough. Phew! All this heavy work is getting me all sweaty! I better hit the shower…" she rambled and went back inside.

- - -

Anna carried a carpet up to the house. She checked the address, nodded and wondered why the door was open. She knocked it loudly.

"Hello..? Mr. Callahan! I'm here about the ad! MR. CALLAHAN?"

She got no response, so she decided to be a bitch and move her stuff in anyway. She dropped the carpet on the floor, turned around and called:

"Jack! You can take the stuff in now!"

A few moments later, Jack-5 squirmed his way through the door. He carried a lot of cardboard boxes. He stopped and dropped them carelessly on the floor. His eyes flashed and he made a beeping noise before loudly stating:

"MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!"

Anna rolled her eyes and picked up a stuffed bear from the floor. She held it close to her ear as if listening to it, nodding slowly.

"What is that you say, Mr. Noodles? Yes, I agree! He is a lovable man!" she said to the bear before giving Jack a loving look.

"Oh, Jack. I love you."

Flash. Beep!

"AFFIRMATIVE!"

She frowned and looked at the bear again.

"We have to touch his voice up a bit, don't you think?"

She calmly walked up to Jack, removed a piece of sheet metal taped to the back of his head and considered the choice of buttons there.

"Hmm… oooh! Pierce Brosnan!" she squealed and pushed it.

Flash. Beep!

"Affirmative." Jack said in a much softer voice. Anna giggled and leaned on his arm.

"There doesn't seem to be anyone here, you know. Let's make love!"

Flash. Beep!

"Uh… Invalid command!"

"No it's not. I read your manual, really thorough."

Jack looked nervously from side to side before his shoulders slumped in a disappointed way.

"Oh… power saving mode!" he yelled and collapsed to the floor. Anna threw the stuffed bear over her shoulder and gave him an angry look.

"Your eyes are still glowing, Jack."

"No they're not."

"Yes, they are! Get up from the floor or I'll install Windows into you!"

"No!" he gasped and got up immediately. She hugged him with a pleased little whining sound.

"Now kiss me, hot stuff. Don't make me use your safety override function!" she told him and leaned in closer to his face, making disgusting smacking noises. He pretended to look at a wrist watch.

"Oh. My. Look at the time. I better get going!" he said in a monotone voice before running out of the house.

"I'll call you sometime!" he called from the street, still running. She looked after him with a sad little sigh.

"I'm so desperately lonely…"

"Oh. My. God!" A voice gasped behind her. Anna quickly spun around.

"You're dating Jack-5?" Nina asked with an unbelieving frown.

- - -

Jack continued racing down the street, passing a lot of surprised housewives out fora walk. He ran without showing any signs of exhaustion, suddenly coming to an abrupt stop. He stood perfectly still, staring up at the red light. He began to rock on his feet in a nervous manner, looking over his shoulder now and then.

"Come on…!" he hissed. "Turn green!"

A small child stared up on him in amazement.

"Are you a transformer?" it asked with a very quiet voice.

"INVALID COMMAND!" Jack roared at him and continued to stare at the traffic light, mentally begging it to turn green. When it finally did turn green, he continued fleeing from Anna. With a panicky, whining sound.

- - -

Anna stared in surprise at Nina. She was standing in the doorway, wearing a much too big bath-robe and eating ice-cream directly out of the carton with a towel wrapped around her hair. Anna shook her head slowly in disbelief.

"What are you doing in my house!" she asked. Nina stopped moving with a spoonful of ice-cream halfway towards her mouth. She gave Anna a surprised look, not noticing the ice-cream dripping on the floor.

"Your house!"

"Yeah, it's my house! I bought it from poor old Mr. Callahan!"

Nina snorted.

"What? You got another house from one of your 'massage clients'?" she scoffed and laughed. Anna rolled her eyes.

"I did that once! Once! Just drop it already!"

"Listen, I don't care about which old idiot you tricked a house away from, it's mine!"

"Oh, yeah? How?"

Nina motioned to the backyard with her head before eating more ice-cream.

"I bought it from a dead guy."

Anna looked out the window and gasped.

"You killed poor old Mr. Callahan! Oh, real mature, Nina!"

"Hey, it was an accident!"

Anna didn't have to argue with Nina. Her eyes did. In an 'oh, really?' kind of way. Nina held up her hands defensively.

"I wore the pink top! How the hell was I supposed to know that it'd kill him!"

"The pink top? Are you crazy? Why don't you just tattoo 'Porn star!' on your forehead, stupid?"

"Look who's talking!"

Anna stomped her foot on the floor angrily.

"Get out of my house!" she screeched.

"Make me, bitch!"

With an angry, high-pitched scream, Anna leapt at Nina, hoping to at least pull her hair.