And last time we ended, we were reaching the highlight of the story, weren't we? Perhaps I should write a long introduction to hold out the suspense. However, I have nothing to write about, so that falls flat.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the things I own. The things I own are the things not owned by Colfer. Colfer owns everything except the things I own. The things Colfer own are the things I do not own. :) Try that one, all you people who think you're the next Artemis Fowl.

The room was silent for a moment. Then, Sool began to shuffle along to his right, dragging Holly with him, kicking and squirming. "Right," he breathed. "Anyone even moves, and I'll blow her head off. There are bullets in this gun. Big bullets."

He stopped, propping Holly up against him, and elbowed the panel. Nothing happened.

Everyone looked at him curiously. What was he doing?

Sool rubbed his sweat streaked forehead with the back of his hand, and checked to make sure he'd pushed on the right wall panel. He was inches away from safety. There, he could lock the panel, shoot Holly, and get away in the pod that was sitting on the roof.

Again, he elbowed it. Nothing happened. In his frustration, he gave a panel a tremendous kick, only managing to stub his toe.

Someone tittered.

He looked up. And then at Artemis.

Artemis smiled, and leaned against the table. "You know Sool, you're a bit naïve, aren't you? You didn't really think I would succumb to a plan so ridiculous, did you?"

Quietly, he picked up the gun lying on the table. "Put her down, and drop the gun."

Sool took a few deep breathes, sucking in the air, and then letting it out with a whoosh. He smiled nervously at Artemis. He'd meant it to be a certain smile, but it wouldn't come out that way. "You don't understand, Artemis. I have Holly. And you care about her. I told you caring traps you, and you're trapped. You care about her."

"Do I?"

"Shut up!" squeaked Sool, turning to the messier in his desperation.

Artemis grinned wolfishly. "And what happens, Sool, if I feel like talking? I'm Artemis Fowl, you know, and no one tells me what to do, I'm afraid. I have my own powers."

Sool was shaking with anger and fear. He didn't know what to do. Finally, he gave the door another kick, again stubbing his toe.

"Child, child. Oh your simplicity. Do you really think I would have left a route for escape?" Artemis began toying with the gun in his hand, finally pulling the safety. "It's locked."

Sool turned his head, eyes darting wildly across the room, searching for a way out.

"There's nothing you can do, Sool," said Artemis with a smile. "Now let go of Holly, and drop the gun."

But Sool ignored him, dragging Holly across the room towards the LEP officers, and motioning them aside. "One of you shoots me, and I'll kill Holly the last thing before I go out."

He saw Trouble shake his head warningly at the men, and managed a smile. "That's right Kelp. No shooting."

There was a hiss, and in front of him, the doors suddenly closed. He spun, looking back at Artemis, who was holding the remote. "Very good, Fowl. You forget I know the code."

He wiped his sweaty palm on his pants, and began punching in the numbers. The keypad beeped infuriatingly, and refused to open the doors for him. Again, he tried. And finally, a third time, though he was beginning to suspect that Artemis had been one step ahead of him again.

"Don't bother, Sool." Artemis examined his hands, and then looked up again. "I changed the code while you were sleeping. You'll never figure it out. Give it up."

After a long moment, in which Sool stared, and Artemis smirked, Sool picked up Holly again, and started back to the control panel, grinding his teeth furiously, and giving himself a headache.

As they passed Trouble, Holly turned her head, meeting his eyes. "It's okay," she mouthed.

Sool battered her over the head with the gun. "Don't try and communicate with them, Short! Don't you dare, or I'll shoot you! You know I'll shoot you! You know I will!"

"Bite me," muttered Holly, and stepped on his twice-stubbed toe with vengeance.

Foaly groaned, and reached for another handful of carrots. Holly had to go and be insolent, just when her life was in danger. What was she thinking? Sool would shoot her, just to be spiteful. But that was Holly. Insolent in the face of danger.

He hesitated, and then decided to add a little background music to make it more like a movie, tense, and suspenseful.

After turning it on, he checked on the Council members. They were sitting glued to the screen. Even Cahartez, who claimed to be experiencing emotional trauma over being stuffed in a vent for over twenty-five hours. Or so he thought it'd been.

It was true, at least, that plenty of things had happened since he'd been up in the vent, and plenty of things had changed, including his opinion of his precious little Sool.

With a sigh, he opened a bottle of beetle juice, and leaned back in his chair. Holly would be alright. Holly was always alright.

Sool whacked Holly over the head once again, and spun around, keeping her between himself and the LEP guns as he backed towards the control panels. Artemis he wasn't worried about. Artemis had a gun, but it wasn't loaded, and his own was. No threat there.

The best way out of this, obviously, would be to hit the instant detonation button, and then program the DNA cannons to take out the fairies in front of him. With one of the lasers, he could cut a hole in the wall panel, and escape. As easy as that.

He pushed past Artemis, groping across the panel, and finally finding the button he was looking for. Instant detonation. He smiled slightly, and looked at Artemis.

"What are you doing?" Artemis took a half step closer, and then backed up as he pointed the gun at Holly's head again.

"Do you know what this button does, Fowl? No? Well I shall tell you. As soon as I was gone, I know you were going to destroy the bombs. But this button will make sure you can not do that. And the time doesn't matter. We have about five minutes anyways. You see, this button is for emergencies like this. It's an instant detonation button."

Sool pressed the button deliberately, and smiled, as the computer whirred. "Authorization."

His smiled widened. "Computer confirm."

There were a few beeps. Then: "Confirmed."

"You see Fowl? As simple as that. In exactly ten seconds, the world will blow up. No matter what you do. It's a non-reversible act."

Holly let out a gasp of anger, and began to jump up and down on Sool's injured toe, hollering profanities at him, and finally managing to kick him in the groin again.

Artemis just smiled. "Indeed. It is a non-reversible act, Sool. But I'm afraid it will be without the results you were hoping for."

Sool froze, suddenly feeling the pain his elated triumph had blocked out. Again, Artemis had anticipated him. And done something that he would not like. Perhaps disconnected the wire. Maybe the other computer would never get the signal. But in that case, he would just dawdle for four more minutes, and wait for them to blow up.

"You see, Sool—"

The screen suddenly went black. Foaly started, and let out a scream of rage. Something had cut off the cameras. Something had cut off his connection. Something had purged his cameras from the system. Something was ruining his drama!

"No lights Fowl. Try stopping me now." You could hear the smugness in Sool's voice.

"There may be no lights, Sool, but I can see you." There was a rustling sound, as someone moved. "You see, Sool, I have the ability to see in the dark. And don't stick out your tongue at me!"

An audible gasp. "You can see me?"

"Yes. And I must say that was extremely childish."

Sool let out a howl of frustration. "You shut up, you!"

"My name is Artemis Fowl."

"Shut up!"

Crash.

The lights came back on, and Artemis was standing there, remote in hand, looking at Sool, who'd crept to the other side of the room, and tripped over Holly's chair. "I trust you're not injured?"

For an instant— just an instant— Sool looked exactly like his cousin. His face turned from an embarrassed pink, to deep red. And from deep red, to bright purple. And from bright purple, to an ugly bruised one. And then to an odd color with tints of blue.

"I would breath, if I were you," advised Artemis calmly.

Sool struggled upwards, pulling Holly along, who went limp on him, and kept slithering down to the floor every time he tried to stand her up. "Stand up! Damn you Short!"

"I'm tired…" whined Holly. "I'm tired. My shoulder hurts. I have to go to the bathroom."

There were more titters from the men at the door. Holly sounded exactly like a bored kid on an extra long shuttle ride. She even had the whole whine perfected. It was beautiful.

Sool let out a high-pitched scream, neck bulging, and jerked Holly across the floor towards the men. "You! Kelp! Put down your laser, and kick it over to me across the floor. Don't you dare try to pull anything on me either, or I'll shoot her. I swear."

In silence, Trouble set down the gun, and kicked it over in Sool's general direction, not wanting to help him, but not wanting to get Holly hurt either. Especially that.

Sool picked it up, and tucked it under his arm, quickly pointing the other gun at Holly's head again, and dragging her after him as he fought to reach the door.

Holly put up quite an amusing fight though. She kicked, and screamed, and complained, and caught herself on everything she possibly could. And asked annoying questions, and tried to bite Sool's fingers, and most of all kept saying she had to got to the bathroom.

Which is, by the way, the most embarrassing, and annoying phrase for a criminal mastermind trying to take over the world to have to listen to over and over again. Especially in front of everyone.

Sool set his jaw, pointed the gun at the door, and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened.

Holly snickered. "You didn't pull the safety, Sool."

More titters. Sool was losing the ability to think rationally. And the titters were not helping. They didn't go with the image he was trying to create— of a dangerous, sinister man, who kept his head in all situations, and always had a way out.

It took a while to cut a hole in the wall. He'd made it that way on purpose, and now he wished he hadn't. The entire time, Holly wouldn't stop complaining, and whining, and asking to go to the bathroom.

Finally, the hole was done. Sool swung Holly up, and looked at the room. "If anyone follows me, I'll shoot her."

Holly snickered wickedly. "If he remembers to pull the safety first."

Sool kicked at her, and missed, stubbing his toe once again. And once again, Holly snickered.

Muttering to himself, Sool grabbed her, and disappeared through the hole into the darkness. A second later, there was a loud crash, and a pained howl, and more snickers from Holly. "Did you forget you have to lift your foot when you go up stairs?"

After a few minutes of swearing, they could hear the heavy clomp of boots on concrete stairs.

Trouble looked at Artemis, and then crossed the room to him. "What now, Fowl? What now?"

Artemis opened his hand, revealing a blank access chip. "Without this, he isn't going anywhere, and he'll find that out soon enough. He took it from Holly's suit, but I swiped it when I woke him up."

"What if he comes back for it?"

Artemis held out his hand. "Give me your access chip. It won't work on the pod, but he won't know until he tries."

Trouble dropped it into his hand.

"Thank you."

"What about the nukes?"

He shook his head. "I switched the wires for instant detonation and abortion. The nukes are all destroyed."

"What if he shoots Holly?"

Artemis turned, and walked across to the hole in the wall. "She'll be fine. Trust me."

"But what if she's not!" Trouble drew his gun, and strode across to Artemis, tilting back his head, and glaring up at him. "What if she gets hurt? What if something happens?"

Artemis sighed, and shut his eyes. "It may. It may not. It probably will. There are risks we all take in things like this, and Holly is always the first to take them. She knew the risks when she got involved. She's happy, now that the nukes are stopped."

"That's all? What if he kills her?" Trouble was shouting now.

"He can't."

"Yes he can!" Trouble trembled with rage. "He has that gun, and he's happy to use it!"

"Yes. But it doesn't have any bullets in it."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive."

Finally, Trouble turned away. "So what now?"

"We wait. He'll be back."

They waited. Minutes ticked by, and more. And more.

Then, they heard shouting. "You took it! I know you swiped it! I know you did! Give to me right now, or I'll shoot you!"

Artemis stuck his head through the hole. "That won't be necessary, Sool. She doesn't have it."

There was another crash, and then loud bumps and thuds, and even louder complaint from Holly, as Sool brought them both hurtling down the stairs, and they collided with the wall.

"You missed a step," pointed out Holly, even though it was a tad bit unnecessary.

Sool leaned out. "Alright, Kelp. Tell your boys to pile their weapons over there in the corner. It's not against the rules. You're not giving them up. Go on! Tell them!"

Trouble looked at him for a long time. Then, he motioned with finger, tossing his gun across the room into the corner. One by one, the others followed his example. Reluctantly, but willing to do it for Trouble, and knowing Fowl would have something.

"Right. Now, Fowl? Hand me the chip. Right now." Sool nodded, poking Holly with the gun.

With a sigh, Artemis reached into his pocket, and searched for a moment, finally drawing out an access chip, and holding it out. "Drop Holly. Drop her, Sool, and you can have it."

"Give it to me."

Artemis hesitated, and finally dropped his hand within Sool's reach. Sool snatched it out of his hand, and stepped back, pulling Holly up the stairs by her cuffs.

"Now what?" Trouble looked up at Artemis impatiently. He wanted to heal Holly desperately, and get her home. She looked so tired. And her arm was getting worse, and still bleeding from all the rough play she'd gone through. And he had to talk to her.

Artemis squeezed through the hole, and stood there a moment, listening. "Alright. Come on."

Foaly let out a gasp of horror. They couldn't do this! How were they supposed to watch well? Ah, yes. The men's video feed. It would be just slightly jerky, and full of jolts on the stairs, but it would work. He switched to Newt's feed, and settled back to watch.

The phone rang, and eyes glued to the screen, as they filed in, one by one, he picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hey Foaly. Demon. How're things going?"

"I don't know. Sool has Holly on the roof, and is going to get away in a pod. Or try to, except Artemis gave him the wrong access chip. Anyway, I'll talk to you later. It's at the best part. Bye." Foaly hung up, and then realized that he'd been talking to the worst, most wanted hit man in all of Haven. And that he'd hung up on him.

He gulped, grabbed another bottle of beetle juice, fished out another carrot, and looked back at the screen.

Artemis began his way up the stairs, Trouble close behind him. "Do you need him alive?"

"No," snapped Trouble. "To much legal junk. We can't kill him unless we start an avalanche by accident. But believe me— more than anything else in the world, I'd like to throttle him. If there were anyway to do so, I would, but there aren't."

Artemis smiled, and said nothing.

"Why?"

"Because I was thinking the same thing. The only difference, is the fact that your own laws forbid you to punish me, or stop me. After all, Sool kidnapped me. That, technically, can be justified under code 679, situation 'E' in Volume 18, The Laws and—"

"You know this stuff?" asked Trouble in disbelief.

"I have to." Artemis smiled. "After all, not everything I do is legal, and I don't want to get in trouble with the People. I've studied your laws for a long time now. Kind of. I'm getting to know the legal technicalities that can get me out of uncomfortable situations."

Trouble shook his head. "Well, like you said, I can't stop you, and I sure as hell hope you blow him into little pieces."

Artemis opened the roof door, and looked out.

Sool was stomping around Holly in a circle, making a trench in the deep snow that covered the roof. "I want to know the access code! I want to know it now!"

"But there is none!" protested Holly through chattering teeth.

"Then what do you call that?" Sool leaned over, picking her up and shaking her violently. "You listen to me, Short. This whole act has been real cute, and a lot of fun. But it over! I have a few more seconds, probably, until they come swarming up here."

"Probably," agreed Holly.

"Shut up! Now if you want me to leave you here— alive— for them, I want to know the access code. And don't tell me there isn't one, because that's what the stupid computer wants, and when I entered the code, it denies me entrance! You got in! How?"

"There isn't a code, though," said Holly in a confused voice. "I swear there isn't one, Sool. I swear. I never had to enter one before."

Sool threw her down, and stuck the chip in the slot.

The computer beeped for the code.

Holly shook her head. "There was no code when I used it. It just opened right up."

"Ah…" Sool turned, and pulled her to her feet again. "I know. The pony programmed it so only you could use it. You open it for me, Short, and I'll let you go."

Hesitantly, Holly turned, and pushed in the chip. The computer beeped for the code again.

Sool threw her back down with a swear word, and leaned against the pod to think.

Even from ten feet away, with the wind, they could here Holly's teeth chattering. Trouble clenched his fists, and pushed past Fowl, raising the door a bit more to climb out.

Artemis jerked him back down. "Wait until he empties the gun. If there's no threat, he won't do it at point blank."

"Until he empties it?" hissed Trouble. "You mean it's not empty?" His voice started to rise. "He'll kill her Fowl! What are you thinking? What are you doing? Just let me—"

"You left your gun down there. And Sool would have a few seconds to shoot her anyways before he blacked out. Just wait, Trouble. Trust me when I say she'll be alright."

"Why don't you shoot him? You have a gun!"

"I know. But he's been messing with it. It's for close range only. He thinks the one he's holding is close range. That's why he won't let go of Holly."

"This is close range! We're not more than fifteen feet away!"

"I mean about three feet range," snapped Artemis. "After that, there's no guarantee it'll do what I want it to do. I believe the bullets explode. That's what he meant about blowing her head off."

"But his gun—"

"Wait, Kelp. There are no bullets in it."

After a long, long, minute of silence, Trouble leaned back against the concrete wall, and waited, eyes on Holly.

Sool looked down at Holly, coming out of his daze. "Alright, Short. I know you know the code. And I'll be fair, because you've been a good sport, and made things interesting. So you have until five to start talking, or I'm going to blow your head off."

Holly shut her mouth tightly, and looked at him.

"One."

Nothing.

"Two."

Still nothing.

"I'm serious Short. Three."

Holly shook her head.

"Four." Sool leaned over, and jerked her to her feet. "I'd start talking, Short. It's not going to do anyone any good to have you dead."

"Yes it will."

"Oh really?" Sool sneered. "And what good would that be?"

"You still won't have the code, and you're stuck here. You spend the rest of your life in prison." Holly laughed openly in his face.

"Five. Are you going to say anything?"

"Don't forget to pull the safety. And tell Trouble I love him," said Holly cheerfully.

The force of the shot lifted her into the air, where the wind caught her, and slammed her down into a drift. Blood spurted everywhere, liberally sprinkling the ground red, and turning to snow to a pink slush.

She lay still, and did not move.

Trouble gasped, and then buried his face in his hands.

Artemis shook his head, and climbed out. "Hello, Sool. I advise you to lie down on your back, with your hands over your head."

"Why should I?"

Artemis pulled the safety. "Does this gun mean anything?" He walked closer, ignoring the gun Sool was pointing at him.

"It's not loaded, Arty-boy."

"Oh really?"

Sool swallowed, and quickly pulled his own trigger. Nothing happened. He got an empty, hollow click. No bullets. Nothing.

"You know what?" Artemis leaned down. "You destroyed those nukes. They never detonated. And Holly's alive and well. You didn't even penetrate her skin. And the gun you're holding is the empty one. I have the full one. And I'm going to blow your head off, little man."

"You can't!" sputtered Sool. "You can't! That's murder! It's against the law!"

Artemis laughed. "And what's all this around us, Sool?"

"Trouble Kelp!" shrieked Sool. "I demand my rights! You have to help me! Stop him!"

"I don't have a gun," said Trouble with a grim smile. "I put it downstairs in the pile. Just like you said, Commander. Just like you said. Or don't you remember telling me that?"

"Please?" sniveled Sool. "He'll kill me!"

Trouble just smiled.

"Oh gods," gasped Sool, as Artemis pointed the gun at his head.

In the Council room, Vinyáya clapped her hands gleefully. Justice. If any person on the planet deserved to die, it was Sool. Not just for this try, but for everything else he'd done in the past.

Foaly leaned forwards in his chair, chanting a lone plead for the shot. To not have to worry about Sool breaking out of prison like he worried about Opal… oh the joy.

He wasn't all that worried about Holly now. Everything made sense, sort of. The capsule had been in the gun. Artemis's blood was all over the ground. Holly was fine. Just a little tired from everything, mostly likely.

Something stirred to their left. Something moved.

Trouble turned, staring at Holly in amazement, as she lifted her head, and glared meaningfully at Artemis, who was staring straight ahead in the other direction.

"Artemis Fowl!"

He didn't answer.

"Artemis Fowl!"

Artemis turned with a sigh. "Look Holly, he deserves it. You know that! You know he does! I'm not going to hurt an innocent person, Holly, and you know that! He deserves it! Look what he was going to do with the nukes! He was going to make you all slaves!"

"Artemis!"

"Don't say anything, Holly. Please don't say anything!"

"Fine. I won't." Holly stood up with a wince, ignoring the blood that trickled over her, and tottered over to Artemis, something clutched tightly against her in her hand.

"What?"

Slowly, she opened her fingers. Something glinted, and Artemis reached down with a pout, picking up a small gold ring, and reading the inscription in silence.

"The spark," said Holly, and passed out.

So there you go. Artemis turns out to be a pretty good guy after all, but still with a hint of malevolent evil, and a delicious need for revenge, etc. etc. etc. You get the point. It was delightfully fun to write it all, anyway. I did okay on the scheme, and Artemis's character too.

But anyways… It's not the end yet, and you all know it. Holly and Trouble are not happily married. So. More is coming.

You who do not review: Your evils will condemn you on the day of judgment. :)