A/N: Thank you to the few people who reviewed. It means so much, so on and so forth. Anyways, I'm really busy, but this is fun to write so I'm gonna try updating weekly. Enjoy!

Hot Fuss: Not Exactly...

Disclaimer: I own the three girls and the plot. That's it.

Fowl Manner, 10:00am, Next Day

Artemis stood outside the guest room, bracing himself. He didn't really want to enter the room, but knew he had no choice. If he didn't cooperate, then he would fail. It didn't reassure him that his straight A record was in the hands of three giggling teenage girls.

He glanced down at the piece of paper clutched in his hand. "Artemis." It read. "Come to the guest room at Ten O'clock sharp to begin the testing. Remember; you'll be graded on your ability to cooperate. Yours truly, Genny, Alex, and Tiff." He sighed, forced a smile onto his face, and entered the room.

The room looked much different then it had when his relatives had stayed there. There were now three beds, a slide projector, a chair with straps on the armrests and three large duffle bags. Two of the girls; one with short black hair and dark blue eyes and one with curly brown hair and bright green eyes were standing in front of a mirror, smearing lipstick on their lips. The third girl, a red head with hazel eyes, was fooling with the projector. The three seemed to be in the middle of a conversation.

"Okay," Said the red head. "Brad Pitt or Eminem?"

"Ooooh!" Squealed the brunette. "Tough one. Ummmm…I'm gonna have to go with…Brad Pitt."

"Same." Said the girl with black hair. "What about you, Alex?"

Alex opened her mouth to respond, but spotted Artemis first. "Artemis?"

"Huh?" Both girls turned away from the mirror and saw Artemis. The girl with black hair jumped over to him and smiled. "Why hellooo Artemis. How are you?"

"Quite well." Artemis replied tartly. "But, before we begin, I would like to know the topic of the research I will be taking part in."

The brunette walked over and beamed at him. "Of course! We're studying the Relativity of Psychiatric Repremandation."

Artemis blinked several times. "I'm sorry to disappoint you ladies, but 'Repremandation' is not a word. And the rest doesn't make much sense anyways."

Alex was now flipping through a box of slides. Every now and then she would add one to the projector. "Oh, we know that. We just came up with the name so we could get credit for a fun project. Tiff, could you plug in the projector?"

The brunette walked over to the wall and pushed the plug into the outlet.

"Then, what is the project?" Artemis asked, knowing he wouldn't like the answer.

Genny, the girl with short black hair, smiled wickedly. "We're gonna make you a girls dream-come-true. In other words, we're turning you into the perfect guy. Perfect looks, perfect clothes, perfect attitude, perfect words, perfect kisser, you name it! Then, we're gonna get you a date with whichever girl you find most attractive, and monitor the whole thing."

Artemis blinked several more times. "You cannot be serious!"

"Oh, but we are!" Said Tiff, walking back over to them. "Now take off your shirt."

Artemis frowned. "Why?"

Genny giggled. "A; so we can see what we've got to work with. And B; we need to run our first test."

Artemis shook his head. "No. Absolutely not. It would be improper for me to remove my shirt in the presence of a lady. Not to mention three."

Tiff giggled. "So polite. That's good. But stubborn. That's bad. We need you to take off your shirt, Artemis darling. And we will use force if necessary. For instance…" She walked over to one of the duffle bags and rummaged through it for a few moments. When she returned, she was holding a small, black handgun. "Shirt. Off. Now."

Artemis gulped and removed his shirt.

"Put that away!" Genny and Alex snapped in unison.

Tiff stuck out her tongue, but put on the safety hatch and threw the gun on one of the beds.

"Now." Said Alex, finishing with the slide projector and walking over to him. "Sit!"

He sat obediently, watching helplessly as Genny and Tiff strapped his arms down tightly.

Alex had taken out an EKG Machine and began sticking those suction cup-like things with wires coming out of them that the author of this fic does not know the name of on his chest, stomach and temples.

Genny smiled and began talking as if she were a flight attendant. "Welcome to day one of your Hottie Training. We shall begin with seeing what gets your heart pumping. The Heart Monitor Thingy will monitor your heart rate and we will rate it between one and ten, depending on what the Heart Monitor Thingy says. Understood?"

Artemis groaned. "Yes, I believe I understood, though your lack of grammar was almost unbearable."

Tiff grabbed a spray bottle from her duffle bag and sprayed Artemis with ice-cold water. "No! Bad boy! You do not talk like that to a girl! Now try again."

Artemis held his tongue and said. "Yes, I understood."

Tiff smiled. "Better."

"Okay." Said Alex, flicking off the lights and turning on the projector. A picture of a girl with super-model looks and a shirt that revealed quite a bit of cleavage appeared on the wall Artemis was facing.

Artemis blinked. Then he felt his heart beating against his ribcage.

"Hmm." Murmured Genny, who was pouring over the EKG Machine. "That's about a…seven. Pretty high…"

Tiff marked down something on a clipboard she had gotten somewhere and Alex pressed the projection button. A new slide appeared.

"This is Pricilla." Alex explained, as Artemis examined a picture of a blonde giggling and giving the peace sign to whoever was taking the picture. "She's a cheerleader and kind of dumb. A lot of guys think she's hot though."

Artemis frowned. His heart rate returned to normal.

"Ooooh." Giggled Genny. "Tiff, mark down a two. And write that brains are a turn-on for him."

Alex pressed the button and another picture appeared. Artemis went bright red.

On the wall was an extremely large picture of himself of a baby. A naked picture. In fact, half the screen was obscured by his naked baby butt. His heart rate shot up again. "Where did you get that?"

The three girls were howling with laughter. "N-nine point seven." Choked Genny, holding on the back of the chair for support. After a few minutes the laughter died down and Alex pressed the button again. It was of a set of blonde twins this time, wearing matching red tank tops and mini-skirts. His heart rate went up again.

"Eight point two." Genny reported. "Wow, this guy's a pervert!"

Alex clicked the button again. This time there was a picture of a brunette girl with glass, sitting in front of a computer. "This is Gwenith." Alex said. "She's a B student, but she practices Ju Jitsu. She's pretty good at it."

At the mention of Ju Jitsu, Artemis's heart began beating hard again.

"Um…that's another seven. Write down that athletics is another turn-on.

The slides continued, and by the end of it the three girls had decided his turn-ons were brains, strength, red hair, hazel to green eyes, pretty faces, and rather large breasts. Finally Alex turned off the projector and flicked off the lights. The three girls huddled in a corner and whispered for a few minutes. Genny pulled three lengths of string out of her pocket and held them in her fist. All three picked one, and Alex got the shortest. They all walked back over. Alex's cheeks were flushed red.

"May I please leave know? It is getting quite late."

"Almost." Genny said, trying very hard not to giggle. "We've got just one more test. Alex?"

Alex sighed, and leaned over Artemis. "Don't get any ideas." She mumbled. "This is for the project." She gripped his shoulders gently, then pressed her lips lightly to his.

His breath caught in his throat. The sensation was remarkable. His eyes remained open, and he could see large hazel eyes staring back at him. He started to kiss her back, but she pulled away quickly, though she remained rather close to him.

"Ten." Genny whispered, gazing at the two in surprise.

"That was…amazing." Artemis breathed so only Alex could hear.

"What are you talking about?" She murmured, smiling lightly. "We didn't even get to first base."

"First base? There are bases?"

But before she could answer, Genny and Tiff had unstrapped his arms and thrust him out the door saying. "We need to Analyze, see you tomorrow!"

Artemis stood in the hallway in shock. His first kiss. Her amazing lips. Her beautiful hazel eyes. Her astonishing strength…wait. Alex wasn't strong. And to tell the truth, her eyes weren't all that beautiful. Not as beautiful as…as who's? Who else did he know with hazel eyes? No one. He puzzled over this for a few moments, then walked back to his room to find a new shirt.

Lower Elements Police, 9:00pm, Same Day

Holly Short sat in her cubicle, doodling on a piece of paper. She was bored out of her mind! Ever since Artemis Fowl had been mind wiped, things had gone back to the boring old routine. But she didn't miss him! Of course she didn't! Why should she? He was just an arrogant, selfish, intelligent, dreamy, gorgeous, hunky, mudboy. Okay, so maybe she did miss a teeny tiny bit. But there wasn't anything she could to about it! He was a thing of the past now. He didn't remember anything about her or the people. She sighed and looked down at her drawing. It was of herself in a wedding dress and Artemis in tux. She blushed and shoved the drawing into the paper shredder. Maybe she should sign up for Fowl Watch. Just to check and make sure that Artemis hadn't remembered the people. But that was all! It wasn't as if she was head-over-heals in love with him or anything like that. What would give anyone that impression?

A/N: Okay. As you can see, Artemis does not remember Holly or the other fairies. Do Genny, Alex and Tiff seem a bit Mary Sue? Well, they aren't. Genny is too dumb, Tiff is too aggressive, and all of them arent that pretty, that smart, or that perfect in any way. Alex is slightly more perfect then the other two, but she still isnt a Mary Sue. And I did say this would be an Arty/OC fic as well as an Arty/Holly fic. Review please!