I just wrote this as I went along… but it turned out pretty cute. Consider this your happy holidays present – thus the theme. It takes place while the Tachikomas are still fairly young, so probably middle of the first season or so.

"Mr. Batou! Mr. Batou! Could you clear something up for us?"

Batou turned to regard his Tachikoma, confusion etched in his features. "Sure," he said, "I'll try..."

"Ok! You see, we were discussing Christmas… is it true that the whole holiday is based on someone being born?"

Batou cocked his head, "Well, yeah. Christ was born – base of the word for the holiday."

"Me next!" cried one of the other Tachikomas, and pushed to the front, "What about Santa Claus?" it asked eagerly, "Who's he supposed to be?"

"Er… I think he comes from Santa Klaus, in Germany or Norway or something like that," the cyborg said, scratching his head, "came down the chimney and left presents in shoes."

"What about Yule and Solstice? Doesn't that happen at the same time?"

Batou shrugged, "I dunno, I always thought so…"

"Do people really walk around and burst into various songs?" yet another think tank asked. "Like… 'We Wish You and Merry Christmas' and 'Silent Night'?"

"Gees, I don't know, guys. They probably do it somewhere – kooky traditions have a tendancy to stick around."

"What about all these plants that have meaning? We keep finding stuff about a Yule log… a Christmas tree… Mistletoe-," the AI unit flailed in frustration, "What is that anyway? Some kind of weapon?"

Another unit's eye socket whirred; Batou recognized its voice as the one that was always reading. "No, no, it's a kind of plant all right, there's a 't' in it."

"Well, I can tell you about Mistletoe," Batou said, and the room immediately fell to dead silence. "It's a tradition that if a household hangs fresh mistletoe once a year, it's good luck. And during the winter, if someone walks under it, they can't move until someone gives them a kiss."

"Wow, that's gotta a really strong restraining beam…"

When Motoko entered section nine that morning, she was most surprised to find Batou doubled up, trying not to choke on his own laughter.

PS – I know a lot of my facts are a bit off or skewed, but I figured Batou wasn't the type to pay attention to that kind of thing, so I didn't bother with research, or purposely let them be off.

Cheers!