A/N: I'm getting quite a lot of reviews now, which makes me feel somewhat more appreciated. Thanks peoples! I dedicate some coffee to your honour.

- - -

Ganryu looked out over the crowd, looking extremely bored. He sighed and shifted his weight from foot to foot, wishing he could go lay down somewhere. He noticed a bleeding clown coming towards him.

"Bruce?" he asked. "What the hell has happened to you?"

Bruce gave him a very, very weary look.

"Jun is what happened." He replied, rubbing a bump on his head. Ganryu nodded slightly before he frowned.

"Just why are you so depressed, anyway?"

"It's a long, boring story that I don't have the energy to tell right now." Bruce replied. "Sorry."

"Ah, don't be. I didn't really care."

"Oh."

There was a short, uncomfortable silence. Bruce's face suddenly lit up. He showed Ganryu a bloody broke-off bottleneck with a disturbing smile.

"Hey, Ganryu. What if I just put this on the floor, and we don't notice it, and then you could just trip and fall over me so I land on it?" he offered with an optimistic grin. Ganryu stared at him, confused, before he finally seemed to realize something.

"Oh. Oh, geez…" he said, looking a bit embarrassed. "Listen, Bruce, I'm flattered and everything, but I don't swing that way, okay? Sorry."

Bruce's grin remained on his face for a short moment while the horrid happiness faded from his eyes. His entire body suddenly slumped down as he moaned in a disappointed way. Ganryu stretched an arm out and patted his shoulder.

"You could always try Hwoarang!"

They both looked around, waiting for him to come by and protest. He didn't.

- - -

Kazuya walked around Lee's boat, just checking out his surroundings. He walked past a corridor, glanced down it, gasped and leapt back behind the wall. He breathed quickly, staring at the wall in front of him.

"Jun!" he hissed to himself. "Not her! Last time she caught me I wound up with Wimp in there."

He looked around the corner again, making sure she couldn't see him. He then returned to his semi-safe hiding place.

"But she does have a sweet ass, even though she's been dead for 20 years…" he mumbled, considering the options. "The trouble is that she's more damn fertile than a rabbit! Stupid genes…"

He could hear her approaching. He looked around himself frantically. He spotted a very heavy-looking door a bit away. It had a card-reader with numeric buttons on the side and a sign that said 'Machine Room' on it. Jun's steps came even closer. He made his decision, leapt towards the door and closed it behind him. He then leant against it and sighed in relief.

It suddenly clicked evilly.

His eyes flew open as he gasped in horror. He turned around and tried the handle. It was tightly shut and locked. He tried throwing himself against it, but to no avail. He leant against it again and sunk down to the floor, where he sat sadly.

"Stupid technology." He muttered.

- - -

The re-Americanizing group stopped on deck, Baek and Asuka the only ones who breathed quickly. They looked around.

"Okay…" Asuka panted. "Now… what?"

"Okay, let's see… Do you see anything American out here?" Marduk asked.

The group looked around. King gave up and shrugged.

"The sea?" Asuka suggested.

"Star signs? Americans likes stars, don't they?" Baek guessed.

"Um… Bryan!" Feng said, not seeing anything better. Bryan struggled on Marduk's shoulder. He jumped a little on the spot which caused Bryan to make uncomfortable noises and Asuka to giggle quietly at the sight. Marduk frowned, humming while thinking about what to use to re-Americanize Bryan.

"Does anyone here know hypnotism?" he asked, not really knowing what else to do. The members of the group looked at each other.

"Okay, okay… Does anyone happen to see a bald eagle anywhere?"

There was absolute silence, except from the muffled noises from Bryan.

"No one? Okay, that's okay, they're endangered, after all. Any elephants?"

"Elephants?"

"Yeah, I thought… you know, the republican party… ah, never mind."

There was a long silence again. King suddenly seemed to notice something.

"What about a harpoon?"

Marduk frowned.

"Harpoon? How could we re-Americanize Bryan with that?"

"I just thought that they had a lot of guns in the US."

The group members stared at each other before they all stared at the harpoon a little bit away. They were quiet for a while.

"Yeah… all it takes is firepower!" Marduk exclaimed happily.

"Brilliant!"

"Great idea, King!"

"Can anyone fire a harpoon?"

"Idiot! We can't just shoot thin air, we have to kill something!"

"Oh…"

They were all quiet for a while.

"Does anyone know where the captain came from again?"

They were quiet for a while.

"Wasn't he Norwegian?" Feng asked. The group members stared at each other and grinned evilly.

"We're going to need a whale." Marduk purred.

- - -

Steve wandered aimlessly through the corridors of Ship, looking around. He had abandoned his cup of tea ages ago. He looked sadly on the numerous doors, listening for signs of life. He sighed, looking down at the floor, before he heard laughter from far away. He brightened up and hurried towards it, soon meeting Anna and Nina stumbling through the corridor. They were both laughing wildly, looking quite drunk. Steve knew there was something strange about it, but couldn't put his finger on what it was.

"Hello mom. Auntie." He greeted them. "How are you?"

They glanced at each other and broke out into hysterical laughter again.

"Can the British stuff, honey, it's a party!" Anna advised him and sounded more Irish than ever. She giggled.

"Shut up, Anna." Nina said with a chuckle. "We're just fine, Stevie! We just met a man!"

Steve grimaced at the nickname before he realized what she had said.

"You met a man? Who? Was it Paul again?" he asked before he realized something. "Mom, why are you wearing someone else's pants?"

"Because she paid for 'em, that's why." Anna replied for Nina. Nina tried to focus her eyes on Steve with a frown.

"Darling, for the last time, Paul isn't your dad."

Steve looked closer on the pants.

"Wait… isn't that Lei's?"

"He just might be your new DAD!" Nina shrieked. Anna shrieked the very same thing, but replaced the 'dad' with 'uncle'. Then she stole Steve's top hat and put it on her own head as the sisters continued their drunken travel down the hall. Steve looked after them, noticing that they had been handcuffed together. He grinned to himself.

"That might be interesting." He said to himself and continued the other way. He soon came to an open door. He peeked inside and was greeted by roaring cheering and a strange smell of burning pain. The Scotsmen around the table grinned at him.

"Well, 'ello laddie! Whatcha want?" one of them said after a while. He stepped inside, looking at the Scotsmen around the table, wondering for a short while what Wang was doing there. He accepted a glass of the amber liquid, still smelling like burning pain.

"Well…" he began, swirling the drink around in the glass. "You see, I tried to make a gentleman out of one of those psychotic, killer cyborgs and I think I did a pretty good job but everyone else just seemed not to like it but he agreed to it himself to get laid, which by the way didn't work, but now some of the guys has kidnapped him and I can't get any more tea and my mother might marry a Chinese guy, which sucks, but anyway, I haven't got anything special to do, so I was just wondering what you guys were doing and if I could join in?"

He took a deep breath. The Scotsmen stared at him. Steve noticed that Wang was asleep and, strangely enough, bleeding. He dug his hand down into his pocket.

"I brought a deck of cards." He said quietly. The Scotsmen looked at each other and cheered loudly again.

"Aye, come sit down laddie!" the Scotsman who first had spoken exclaimed and pushed Wang away from the chair. Wang collapsed to the floor with a grunt. The Scotsman looked down on him and shook his head slowly.

"Poor ol' Chinese lad. Couldn't handle a drink."

"Or a beating!" the Scotsman next to him added happily. The first Scotsman glared at him and elbowed his side.

"Sssshut up!"

He then turned his attention back to Steve and pulled out Wang's chair.

"Come sit down, laddie! Oh, seems to be a little blood here…" he mumbled, took out a napkin from his pocket and wiped the seat. He then grimaced. "Aah, that only made it worse. Darn. Oh well, come 'ave a seat!"

Steve sat down with a smile. He began mixing the cards.

"Aces high?" he asked.

- - -

King soon returned, panting. Marduk looked around, trying to find something, before he turned to King again.

"So?" he asked. King took a deep breath.

"I couldn't… find… a whale." He panted.

"Understandable. Did you find something similar?"

"Sorry… Ganryu had… hurt his… back."

"Okay, anything else?"

King looked over Marduk's head. Something came crashing down. Marduk spun around and found himself staring into a pair of blood red eyes. They flashed and there was a beeping sound.

"MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!" Jack-5 exclaimed loudly. Asuka grimaced.

"We need to touch up that voice a bit." She said, walked around to his back and carelessly tore off the piece of sheet metal taped to the back of his head. She grinned and handed it to Feng.

"I wish all men had one of these." She said with a glance towards Baek. She then checked the buttons.

"Oh! Oh! Sylvester Stallone!" she squealed happily and pressed the button. There came a whirring sound from Jack before his eyes flashed again. He beeped.

"Mission accomplished." He jarred. She sighed admiringly. No one said anything for a very long while. Feng coughed slightly. All of a sudden, Bryan sneezed. He made some humming noises before he gasped, still inside the sack.

"Oh God! It's going to touch my FACE!" he cried out in horror. Baek chuckled to himself. Marduk shook his head slowly.

"Jack-5." He said, wagging his finger before his face. "Your next mission is to re-Americanize Bryan, understood?"

Flash. Beep!

"Positive."

"Could you please stop saying re-Americanize?" King sighed. Marduk ignored him.

"And to do that, you're going to have to act like a whale. Understood?"

Flash. Beep!

"Invalid command!"

Marduk rolled his eyes.

"This thing is an abomination to nature, isn't it?"

Baek crossed his arms.

"Oh, and Bryan isn't?"

"Not to mention Mister Bestiality here." Feng added, pointing to King. King snarled angrily and slapped the back of his head. Feng glared at him and clenched his fists with an angry hiss.

"Why does everyone do that! I'm not a damn little BOY!"

The group laughed shortly as Feng wiped away the angry, angry tears. Marduk turned back to Jack.

"Can you swim?"

Flash. Beep!

"Positive."

"Good! Take a swim! King, go get the captain. And hurry!"

King hurried away to get the captain. Jack remained on deck. Marduk gave him a puzzled look.

"Take a swim, Jack-5." He said. Jack did nothing. Marduk sighed and rolled his eyes. "Unit go in sea. Go for a dive. Get into the ocean. SIMON SAYS go swim!"

"I know what to do." Baek said, took Jack's big hand and led him to the railing. He motioned to Marduk.

"Now get on your knees behind him."

Marduk grimaced.

"I kneel to no one but the almighty."

"Just get down."

Marduk sighed, put Bryan down on the floor (under Feng's constant supervision) and knelt down behind Jack. He looked over his shoulder at Baek, who motioned to him.

"All four."

Marduk looked embarrassed as he got down.

"Now what?"

Baek grinned evilly.

"It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again!" he said with a loud laugh. Feng and Asuka glanced at each other.

"I don't get it." She admitted. Baek rolled his eyes.

"You've never heard it? It's a classic. What an outrage."

No one said anything for a long while.

"Oh god! It touched my face!" Bryan whined, which made Baek happy again.

- - -

Steve looked down on his hand, every now and then eyeing the rest of the players around the table. He moistened his dry, painfully whiskey-soaked lips and cleared his throat. He then looked around, checking to see if it was his turn. He looked at all the hands on the table and finally put down his own cards.

"Four aces." He stated proudly and grinned evilly. The Scotsmen turned to the last one in the order. The last Scotsman grinned even more evilly at Steve and put his cards down.

"Five aces." He purred and stretched out to collect his winnings. The Scotsmen and Steve gave a loud, simultaneous groan of disappointment.

"Oh, buttfuck." Steve added, still sounding very British, and thought about what else to bet.