A/N: Hey, reviews! Whoopee! (Happy dance) Now I must apologize. See, my computer has had some problems involving a certain Trojan Spy. As I speak (okay, write) the remover thingy is running. So however late this comes, that's the reason!

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 7, 8, 9, or 10, or anything else in this chapter that isn't mine.

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"Hey, Irvine, how'd you get hit in the head? Tifa wasn't there, and that little girl couldn't have thrown you out, so what happened?" Zidane asked as they weaved through the scrap metal that cluttered the streets of the slums.

Irvine winced. Only now did he realize that his prank really couldn't have done much else other than hurt him. He probably shouldn't have used the corner of the pinball machine to hurt himself with either. However, he wouldn't admit that he had reallyinjured himself. "Well Zidane, it actually was that girl in the bar. Even if she's a 6-year-old, she can still wallop people good," he lied.

"Pfft, of course she did, and I'm really a house plant," Zidane said.

Tidus, on the other hand, was much more gullible. He ran up to the front of their line and walked alongside Irvine. "You think I should've gotten her autograph?" he asked.

"Bar!" Zidane shouted.

"No, Tifa's not there, remember?" Irvine said.

"No! I mean that you should watch out for the-"

But Zidane was too late. Irvine ran right into an overhanging bar from the piles of scrap metal lining the path, doing nothing for his aching head.

"Ow! Son of a-"

"Wire!" shouted Tidus.

Instinctively the other two ducked, but they saw that Tidus was pointing to a long, skinny wire hanging against a graffiti-covered wall.

"Think she's up there?" Zidane asked.

Irvine shrugged. "Worth a shot."

They began to diligently climb the wire, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, sometimes jumping onto random swinging things. They reached the top and pulled themselves up.

They were standing in front of a very tall building that seemed to have had it's top half blown up.

"Aw damn it, this freaking' wire just lead us to the Shinra building!" Irvine yelled.

"I spent 20 minutes trying to jump on a bar for this?" Zidane said to no one in particular.

Tidus looked at Irvine. "You say Shinra?" he asked.

"Yeah, this is their headquarters."

"So," Tidus began, "we can just go in there! Elena and Scarlet both work there, and there's bound to be other girls working there, because Shinra would've been sued by now if there wasn't!"

They all eagerly ran inside. Suddenly, the song "Excitable" by Def Leppard started playing somewhere in the background.

"You thinking' what I'm thinking?" Zidane asked.

"Montage!" they all shouted eagerly.

"Meet up on the 60th floor!" Irvine said as he ran off.

The song got louder now, as each went off to get as many dates as they could. They all had one advantage. None of them were from FF7. So, none of the workers knew who they were, and just assumed them to be from Midgar.

Tidus got lucky and entered the break room on the 31st floor, where some people were taking a coffee break. He made his eyes change from brown to blue, then back to brown, then red by accident, causing him to hiss and grow fangswhileall of the employeesscreamed and/or faintedbefore he changed his eyes back to blue. Then he flashed a quick smile, and counted up the number of fainted people on the floor, not bothering to consider that some of them might've just thought he was a monster,and added them to his score.

Irvine just walked up and down the numerous hallways, scoring many points and one black eye for himself. He had accidentally started to hit on a man who bore a remarkable resemblance to woman from the back. Thanks to Irvine's luck, the man was very homophobic, earning Irvine his black eye.

Zidane had a different method for scoring, of course. He was fairly short, and had a tail. So, they would either think he was cute, or some genetic freak escaped from Nibelheim. Luckily, he was mainly thought of as the first one as he swung around by his tail on the various lights, even if he really was a genetic freak. Only one man saw this, and he tried to chase Zidane down and stab him with a red pen. Zidane escaped the wrath of this enraged scientist and continued racking up points.

Finally, they all met at the 60th floor.

"Sorry gentlemen, but I believe I have won this round by a total of 12 dates," Tidus announced in a snooty voice.

"Well, you'd be right, my dear chum, except I've got 14 dates," Irvine said in a very bad imitation of an English accent.

Zidane couldn't help himself. "You guys suck! I got 19 dates!"

Tidus's eyes flashed to the blood red color that had scared some of the people earlier, but changed quickly back to the brown he had when he entered the building. "So! I'll win anyway!" he said as he stuck out his tongue.

"Any of you guys remember what we're doing in here?" Irvine asked as he scratched his head.

"I think we were trying to find the one person. You know, that guy…" Tidus said.

"Hojo?" Zidane suggested.

"No not him. Some other person."

"Heidegger?" Irvine asked.

Tidus shook his head. "I don't think it was a guy."

"Then why'd you say guy?" Zidane said.

"You know what I mean!" Tidus shouted.

"Scarlett?" Irvine guessed.

"That's the one!"

Suddenly, a small ball of light drifted over to them. "Why are you freaks looking for Scarlett? She's dead! She exploded with that lard ball in the robot!" Seymour yelled.

"Didn't we leave you in a ditch or something?" Zidane said.

"It wasn't a ditch, it was a hole, and a very filthy one at that! But you don't care about how the little pyrefly feels, do you? You don't care if he was stuck in poo for two hours! You three man-ditzes were just having a happy montage to some corny 80's song! Well, I, Seymour Guado, will have my revenge!"

Seymour was to busy ranting to notice that Irvine had pulled out his favorite shotgun and was aiming said boom-stick at the crazed spot of light. A resounding bang echoed throughout the halls, and the Yevon Maester was now a sizzling ball of light on the floor.

"Irvine! You didn't kill him, did you?" Tidus yelled.

"Of course I didn't. I can't shoot something with a high, squeaky voice, or else Rinoa and those Poké things would be dead by now. I merely tasered him, that's all," Irvine explained. "That, and he's already dead".

"Where'd you get a taser shotgun?" Zidane asked.

"You'd be amazed what you can find in your local dump."

Irvine didn't get to finish his story of how he had found his gun, as several Shinra soldiers came running down the hall to investigate the shots. Seeing that Irvine was holding a shotgun, they charged.

"Back to the Invincible! We'll come back later!" Zidane shouted. They quickly made their way out of the building, dodging bullets left and right, though they really didn't need to because Shinra soldiers carried very weak guns that had to hit someone many times before theywere killed.

Once aboard the airship, they took off, not wanting to give any brave soldiers a chance to climb ontowings orengines.

"Where are we going now?" Tidus asked as he walked over to where Zidane was sitting.

"I say we go to Gaia. Shinra won't be able to find us, so we can hide there until the heat's off," Zidane said.

"And score with the ladies," Irvine added. "I've had my eye onthat princess."

Then, seeing the glare Zidane was giving him, Irvine had a sudden urge to go explore the rest of the Invincible.

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A/N: All right, weird chapter. If you don't like it and actually have good, I repeat, good, suggestions, click the little thingy down there that says submit review. Oh, and the eye color changing thing that Tidus did was because in 10, Tidus's eyes change from blue to brown and back throughout the game. Never red though.