A/N: No, I don't have anything to say this time except of course that it's the second last chapter. Next one will be inhumanly long because it feels wrong to split it up. I also boogie all night long.
'njoy.
- - -
THE VERY NEXT EARLY AFTERNOON
Lee opened his eyes. He was in pain. Extreme, utter, horrible pain. And his hand hurt, too. He groaned and put his hands over his eyes as he raised his head from the table. The hilarious little party hat was practically crushed, and his hair was messed up. He tried to get up, but his body didn't function properly yet. He cleared his throat.
"Scotsman…" he groaned quietly. He tried again.
"Scotsman!" he groaned louder, still just a very weak sound. A Scotsman appeared out of nowhere.
"Yessuh?" he asked, unnaturally happily. Lee closed his eyes again.
"Aspirin…" he managed to whisper. The Scotsman disappeared for just a short while and soon returned with a glass of water and some pills. Lee took them thankfully and went back to sleep for ten minutes. He was soon brought back to the painful world of consciousness by Heihachi, collapsing unto the chair beside him.
"Mmmrl?" Lee slurred, looking up. His hilarious little party hat seemed to be in even worse condition than before. Heihachi turned his pale face towards Lee, paused and then grinned.
"Thank god I didn't have any of that punch." He said. Lee grimaced at him.
"Yeah, you're having fun now, aren't you?"
"I would've had a lot more fun if I hadn't been in the bathroom all morning. I got to tell you, don't eat six plates of that stuff Lars serves. It does things to you."
"Mhm." Lee mumbled and struggled his way to his feet. He then sighed and tore the hilarious little party hat off his head.
"I might as well take a walk and make a damage check." He muttered to himself. He walked to the middle of the room, looked down and poked his unconscious 'nephew' with his foot.
"Jin, get up. I might need a shoulder to cry on."
Jin opened his eyes with a groan.
"But I don't want to…" he moaned. Lee sighed deeply and gave him a light kick.
"Just get up."
"Alright, alright…" he sighed and got up, muttering to himself. Lee looked around the dining room. It looked alright, considering the situation. People were sleeping in all sorts of places and positions sometimes defying gravity itself. The band he had hired was long gone. Lee muttered a curse when he noticed the guitarist had run off with his guitar. He made a mental note to sue him as he and Jin walked on. They went down a corridor.
"So how does it compare to yours so far?" Lee asked. Jin shrugged.
"By now I was still happily unaware of everything going on. But I had cheese in my hair, so this is slightly better."
"Ah."
They walked on in uncomfortable silence. Jin cleared his throat.
"Lee, do you know if dad really…" Jin began, but Lee silenced him simply by raising his hand.
"Did you hear that?"
They hurried down the corridor, towards a spot where it sounded like someone was desperately trying to tear a down open. Lee stopped in front of it and unlocked it, causing Lei and Yoshimitsu to stumble out and collapse on the floor. Lee and Jin stared in horror at the nakedness.
"How about now?" Lee asked. Jin shrugged. Yoshimitsu looked up at them before glancing at Lei. He sighed deeply. His eyes were perfectly normal.
"Please note that I am still wearing all my clothes." He muttered.
"Ah forget it, Yoshimitsu. By now they're not going to believe anything we say." Lei said as he got up and corrected his tie. The overall image was incredibly humorous.
"Did you two just…?" Lee finally managed to whisper.
"Told you." Lei said to Yoshimitsu before he turned to Lee. "No we didn't, but by now that doesn't matter, does it?"
"Thanks for the mental image." Jin muttered and rubbed his eyes. Lee blinked slowly, grinned and held out his right hand towards Lei.
"Thanks for coming, see you some other time." He said quickly. Lei stared at his hand, shrugged and shook it. He then walked off.
"I wonder where my pants went…" he mumbled to himself. Yoshimitsu shook Lee's hand and leapt out of the window.
"I hate ninjas…" Lee muttered as he and Jin continued down the hall. They heard the sound of conversation grow stronger. Jin strongly urged Lee to turn around. They turned the corner and saw Paul and Forest standing by a door. They looked up when Lee and Jin arrived. Paul sighed and rolled his eyes.
"Aw, we were too late." He muttered. Forest shrugged.
"Some other time, then."
"Some other time for what?" Lee asked, his eyes in narrow, suspicious slits. Paul and Forest glanced at each other and shrugged. Paul motioned towards the door.
"To defile your boat."
"And your Jacuzzi." Forest added, grinning. Lee tried the door and smirked when he found it was locked.
"We'll see about that." He muttered, took a master key out of his pocket and unlocked the door. He opened a creak in the door and stopped. He pointed at Paul.
"You check first."
"Oh! Diabolic!" Jin squealed, grinning. Paul stuck his head in and checked. He looked somewhat surprised when he yanked his head back out. He gave Lee and Jin a warning look.
"You, um… might not want to see that."
Lee sighed and shook his head slowly.
"What? Has Fergus drowned again?"
Lee and Jin foolishly forced Paul away and opened the door, staring at whatever was inside. There were clothes all over the place, as well as two people in the Jacuzzi, both apparently sleeping heavily. One appeared to be Raven, drooling slightly. And the other was…
"Janitor?" Lee asked, surprised but not chocked. Forest looked over their shoulders.
"Oh, that guy is cute…" he purred, smiling. He noticed something lying on the floor. "Hey, what's that?"
The four men in the door looked down. Then they slowly raised their heads again to take a second look at the other man in the Jacuzzi.
"KING?" they all gasped simultaneously. King jerked out of sleep and looked around, confused.
"Que…?" he mumbled and rubbed his eyes.
"Oh, my god." Jin whispered. "I… I thought I would never have to see something like this again."
"What about the thing we saw a while back?" Lee asked.
"This is worse."
King caught sight of the people in the door, blinked, and noticed his mask lying on the floor. His hands flew up to his face and he examined it in horror. He then met Lee's eyes.
"You just did it, didn't you?" Lee asked. King didn't reply, instead he shook Raven awake.
"Uhwa…?" he slurred. King leant close to him and hissed something. Raven glanced at the crowd in the door and hissed something back. The crowd watched, slightly bored, as the men debated something. The phrase 'I thought you were that hot American chick' was repeated a couple of times. Raven finally cleared his throat and smiled warmly at the people.
"Um… nothing happened." He said. King slapped his forehead with a groan.
"Idiot! Now they'll never believe us!"
"I mean it!"
"You're just making it worse! It's the Hwoarang-syndrome, idiot!"
"Shut up, kitty."
Silence fell upon the people in the room. Raven glared at King, who glared back. The crowd in the doorway looked in somewhat disgusted interest. Lee leant closer to Jin.
"That was a bad thing, right?" he whispered.
"Yes. Yes, it was." Jin replied. King glared at Raven. Without anyone seeing that he had moved, King had suddenly punched Raven right in the face. He stood still for a while, his arm shaking slightly, before he simply stepped out of the Jacuzzi and began putting his clothes on again. Raven sat slumped against the side of the Jacuzzi, unconscious,with a surprised look on his face. Forest looked at him, then at King.
"Aren't you going to force him into a humiliating Cat woman-suit?"
King shrugged and struggled to get his boots back on.
"What's the point? He wears one for work."
Paul made the drum roll-noise and laughed loudly. Lee glanced at Jin.
"Let's get some coffee and just wait for everyone to get off the boat, alright?"
"Sounds like a good plan."
- - -
Lee sipped his coffee with a happy look on his face. The light breeze rustled his hair. He looked out at the coastline they went by, enjoying the pretty sights. He heard steps behind him.
"Whoa! What the hell is this?" someone cried out behind him. Lee glanced over his shoulder. Jin stared at Jack-5's carcass on deck. He looked up at Lee.
"Have you noticed someone slaughtered a robot here?"
Lee looked down at Jack and shrugged.
"Yeah, but at least he isn't naked."
"Technically…"
"He isn't naked!"
"Okay, fine…"
Jin stepped up right next to Lee and looked out over the landscape with a happy sigh. They sipped their coffee. A seagull shrieked somewhere nearby.
"Lee?"
"Hm?"
"Where the hell are we?"
- - -
Bryan opened the cabin door, stretched and sighed happily. He looked around, took a cigarette from his pocket and lit it, enjoying the first one in a long time.
"I feel like a beer." He said to himself with a smile. He glanced over his shoulder. "Do you want a beer?"
Anna mumbled something from inside and turned around in the bed. Bryan shrugged and closed the door. He turned around and found himself face to face with Feng. He took a quick step back with a surprised gasp. Feng looked bad. Horrible, in fact. He had a look of pure horror on his face. Bryan calmed down again, leant closer to Feng and waved his hand in front of his face.
"Hellooo?" he asked. Feng blinked and grimaced, making him look even worse than before.
"Did… did I just agree to marry Nina?" he whispered. Bryan gave him a surprised stare.
"You're getting married?"
"Did I?"
"To Nina?"
"Am I?"
They paused, looking at each other. Feng sighed lightly.
"I think I'll go hang myself."
Bryan grinned and put his arm around his shoulder.
"Nah, you don't have to do that! Let's go beat some people up, that'll make you feel much better!"
Feng looked up at him.
"Violence?" he whispered with a faint hint of happiness in his voice. Bryan nodded slowly. A grin broke out on Feng's face.
"Let's go kill Baek!"
Bryan considered it and shrugged.
- - -
Lee and Jin stood by the gangway, smiling at everyone who came out. There was a large crowd of moderately hung-over people standing on the dock. Ganryu was helped down by some panting Scotsmen. Julia and Marduk came to Lee and Jin. Marduk stretched his hand out.
"I…"
He was interrupted by a hard slap out of nowhere. Julia crossed her arms over her chest.
"I did not give you permission to speak, male!"
He rubbed his cheek and frowned at her. He opened his mouth to say something, but changed his mind. He looked at Lee and Jin, who grinned at him.
"Thanks for a lovely party." Julia purred at them and hooked her arm in Marduk's. "I'll just go home with my souvenir here."
"Help me." Marduk whispered. Jin put his hand on Marduk's arm, as he couldn't reach higher.
"Jesus will, right?" he asked and laughed loudly. Marduk glared darkly at him as Julia led him down the gangway. Lee and Jin were distracted by the sound of running steps. Bryan and Feng appeared and threw something over the railing before breaking out in hysterical laughter about it. They spewed sarcastic comments towards whatever was down there. After a short while, Baek came up, gasping for air. He coughed and looked up at the laughing men up there.
"Bastards!" he called, which just made them laugh even harder.
"Alright, break it up here." Lee said loudly, motioning them down towards the docks. Lee stopped Bryan and pointed at Jack-5.
"Could you take him with you?"
Bryan shrugged, grabbed Jack's foot and dragged him along with him. Jin shook Lee's hand and followed Bryan down the gangway. The Scotsmen came along and pulled it up after them. The crowd suddenly fell silent.
"Hey, where's my car?" Ganryu called out. Some people began mumbling. Asuka helped Baek out of the water.
"And where's the bus?" Marshall asked. As if they were all one, the crowd looked up at Lee on his boat. He grinned nervously, opened his mouth as if to explain and suddenly rushed away.
"GO! GO! GO!" he cried out. Lee's darling Ship left shore quickly, Lee laughing hysterically in the rear of it, pointing at the crowd. The crowd looked after him.
"I get a feeling that something horrible just happened." Bruce stated. They looked around. Ling pointed at something inland.
"Isn't that the Eiffel-tower?" she asked. The crowd turned around and stared at it. There was a complete silence.
"Well, shit on a stick." Paul said, his eyes wide open in surprise. Forest's eyes gleamed with happiness.
"Oh my GOD!" he squealed happily. "We're in San Francisco!"
"Okay, okay, okay!" Heihachi called, stepping up on a crate to be heard over the crowd. "It's obvious we need a leader here, i.e. me. Apparently that little bastard Lee dumped us all in France, so we have to find a way to get back home again!"
The crowd agreed. Heihachi nodded.
"So!" he said loudly, looking at the people. "Does anyone have money for a taxi?"