One of my roommates watches soap operas. I sat down and watched part of Passions with her, and this is what came of it.
For some inane reason, there was a TV monitor in the hanger, tuned in to an ancient American soap opera channel. Even a moment after walking in, all Motoko could do was stare in utter confusion. "What's going on here?" she finally demanded, turning to the nearest Tachikoma.
"Oh! Major! We were just so bored that we decided to route a TV channel into one of the monitors and watch it." It leaned in, as if letting her in on a large secret, electronic voice at a stage whisper. "We heard that some people are obsessed with these tv programs, but I just don't get it."
"Shh!" another one said, waving its claw in absent annoyance, "Jeanie is admitting her love for Brad- finally!"
"Haven't we been through this already?" one sighed in boredom.
"No, no! That was Brad and Nadia, last episode!"
The major crossed her arms, fixing the blue think tanks with a knowing glare. "Just how many of these have you watched today?" she asked suspiciously.
Batou's Tachikoma turned back to her, having gone back to the program after being shushed, and clicked it's claws in the tank's version of shame. "Well… we got the connection going sometime around oh-three-hundred hours… and it's eleven-hundred now… so eight hours worth."
Before she had a chance to voice her slight surprise and considerably less slight annoyance, the doors opened and Batou walked in with Togusa. As soon as they saw the monitor; now featuring 'Jeanie' and 'Brad' passionately kissing; they stopped dead.
Batou gave the major a thoroughly confused look. "Decided to take up American soap operas, Major?" he said, and grinned, "Never figured you for the type."
"Don't forget, Batou, I can still hack your brain in less than five seconds," the major replied flatly, and nodded to the Tachikomas- all still focused on the screen. "It's them."
"Them?" Togusa asked, and scratched his head, "my wife likes old soap operas… this one is from the turn of the century, but why would they like it?"
Batou and Motoko glanced at each other, and simultaneously looked away, Batou covering a grin and the major looking as if she were suppressing one of her own. Before Batou could make a comment though, the high pitched voice of one of the think tanks stood out against the dramatic background music of the show. "Hey! What the heck are they doing?"
The three members of section nine turned around to see more of Brad than any of them had ever cared to. "I think Togusa can handle this one," Motoko said with a straight face, and began to walk out.
"He is the resident expert after all," Batou quipped, clapping Togusa on the back hard enough to pitch him forward, and then following the Major.
Togusa straightened, looking rather dumbfounded. "You mean nobody programmed that in before?" he asked incredulously.
Motoko glanced back, giving the human a cat's smile, "Why would a combat tank need sex ed?" she asked.
"Have fun!" Batou said jovially, waving as he and the major walked out of the hanger, and the doors snapped shut behind them, leaving the natural man nine curious AI units and a touchy subject matter to contend with.
Enjoy torturing Togusa? Me? Never! Yes, the last line was an intended pun :-p