"Did you know there are two types of butt?"

This wasn't a normal conversation Marinette would have at one in the afternoon but she decided to bite.

"Really?" She asked Alya, faking excitement. What would she care about butts?

"Yeah, you see, there's a magazine article here and it says you ever have a pepper butt or a peach butt. They've even compared some celebrities."

As soon as Alya mentioned celebrities, Marinette's attention increased tenfold.

"What celebrities?" She asks, leaning her head over her friend's arm to look at the magazine.

"Oh, you know ... Jagged Stone, Clara Nightingale, Alec Cataldi, who would you believe is a peach, Adrien Agreste ..."

"Where?" Marinette grabbed the magazine and began to flick through it. Alya leaned her elbow on the school desk, and watched as Marinette manically searched for Adrien's butt pic.

The class was still quiet as people flirted back in after lunch. Alya had been out in the morning, a doctor's appointment or something, but she was back now. Magazine in tow.

"A peach?" Marinette questioned, reading the label on Adrien's butt. "I think pepper."

Alya looked at the magazine again and turned her head to the side. "I don't know Marinette, it does look more peachy than peppery."

"Please, I've stared at it enough to know what Adrien's butt looks like."

"Pass it here," Alya slid the magazine into the centre of their desk, each of them twisting and turning their heads to look at the picture.

"Naa, it's a peach."

"Nope, disagree, pepper."

"Peach!"

"Pepper!"

"Marinette, look there's clearly a heart shape. It's a peach!"

"Give me a pen," Marinette grabbed the pen Alya handed over to her and started to draw on the photo of Adrien's back.

She began by drawing the peach, and low and behold it didn't fit. She smiled at Alya, before getting to work on drawing the pepper, tongue sticking out at the side of her mouth, and Marinette unsure herself whether it was from concentration or the want to drool. "And voila!" She announced, "a pepper!"

"What are you guys doing?"

Marinette looked up with a flourish of embarrassment as Adrien and Nino looked onto the girls desk. Nino was first to notice what Marinette's chaotic hands had covered.

"Have you drawn on my dudes ass?" Adrien turned a luscious shade of pink and Marinette wanted to steal the colour and use it to paint her walls.

"Nope," she stated, "we found it with some of the younger students! How dare they objectify one of our friends? Our best friend? The boy with the golden butt - smile - the boy with the golden smile." Marinette mentally kicked herself. She wasn't lying ... he did have a golden butt, but she had no place to say it.

"What does it say?" Adrien asked, walking up to Marinette and leaning over her to see the magazine.

The young teen girl almost fainted from the smell of Adrien. God, he was glorious. She tried to move away from him so she could at least think straight but it was too late. She was already considering how she could lean a couple of inches forward and place her lips against his neck.

"Who else is in there?" He asked, flicking through the pages.

"I was just telling Marinette, there is Jagged Stone, Clara Nightingale, Alec Cataldi, you, Mayor Bourgeois, Gabriel Agreste ..." the foursome all shuddered at the thought and Adrien quickly skipped past the picture of his fathers butt, "and, of course, Ladybug and Chat Noir."

"What?" Two voices said in sync, one in excitement and one in everything but. Adrien continued to skim through the pages until he found what he was looking for.

In all their fine glory, there were Chat Noir and Ladybug's butts.

"No way is Chat a peach! He's definitely a pepper!"

"Ladybug isn't a pepper, she's a peach! Who the hell did they ask?"

Marinette and Adrien looked at the two pages as they began the butt characterisation of the local superheroes.

"Wow!" Exclaimed Nino, "you're both highly passionate about this."

"Because we're right!" The two shouted at the same time causing Nino to recoil back a little bit. Who knew his friends were so passionate about butts.

"Marinette, calm down," Alya giggled, pulling the magazine away from her friends and slotting it in her bag. Her movement didn't show she was scared they were going to hurt her, but she was scared were going to hurt her.

"How can I calm down when they've disrespected Chat's butt! I mean it's obvious he works out a lot to keep in shape! You too, Adrien! Whoever was on the butt committee needed glasses."

All her friends moved away, allowing the smaller girl to air out her frustrations.

"Woah, Marinette. Don't let it upset you, I'm fine with being labelled a peach."

"But you're a pepper!" She said, exasperated, "Nino and Alya are peachies, but you're a pepper."

"And what are you?" Adrien asked, amusement on his face.

"She's a pepper! Have you seen that toned tush?" Alya's comment set a nuclear reaction off on Marinette's face, as Nino firmly agreed. She wanted to sink six feet under right there and then.

"No way! She's a peach, like Ladybug." Marinette malfunctioned. Adrien had just called her butt a peach. He'd looked at her butt, and she couldn't help but wonder if he liked it.

Before Marinette could answer, alarms simultaneously went off in the classroom.

"Akuma alert!" Alya stated, "obviously someone is not happy with their butt choice."

Low and behold, the news alert appeared of one Alec Cataldi charging around the city turning everyone's butts into fruit.

"I am 'Rumpous', and this is what you get for disrespecting my pepper!" The Akuma was heard saying, sending off a ray and hitting Nadja Chamack. The foursome watched as her backside turned into a peach.

"I'm a peach, that's nice to know." Nadja said,

"Oh this is going to be good," Alya switched her phone from the news report to the camera and raced out the classroom, Nino hot on her tail.

"Marinette, you need to hide." Adrien grabbed her hand, pulling her out onto the landing of the school and waved through the crowds into the locker room.

Marinette couldn't take her eyes off their joined hands. He was touching her, willingly. Adrien Agreste was willingly touching her hand.

Before she knew what was happening, Adrien opened his locker and pushed her in.

"Stay here," he said, shutting the door and leaving her in the dark.

"I'm in Adrien's locker," her voice came out jumpier than intended, and her eyes were glassy with realisation of where she was. She wondered if there was anything in here he wouldn't mind missing, and started to feel along the walls.

"Marinette?" A small, hushed voice whispered. "Marinette," it called again. She continued the search, patting down the sides of the locker and finally finding something. From the feel of it, it was a spare overshirt.

Grabbing it she placed it to her nose and took in a big sniff. She'd recognise the smell of Adrien anywhere. His self named cologne, something that was essences of pure Adrien and expensive cheese, more precisely camembert.

"Marinette," the voice whispered again. This time a little louder and matched with an aggressive tug. The shirt flew out of her hands and Tikki flew into her face. "Snap out of it Marinette. Chat Noir's waiting for you."

A sudden realisation kicked in.

The Akuma.

Yes!

Calling on her transformation, Marinette quietly made her way out of the locker, now in complete superhero costume, and located where Chat was on her communicator before launching away and into battle.

"Bonjour, M'Lady," Chat greeted, knocking a beam of light at a lamppost. "Are we going to need 'second chance' today? I don't want my butt giving my identity away." He winked at his partner, before hooking an arm around her waist and pulling her flush against him. His baton continued to turn in his hands, knocking any potential strike from hitting its target.

"Not today, kitty. I can already spot your rear a mile off." Ladybug suddenly realised what she said and covered her mouth with her hand.

He smirked and turned towards her. "Looked a lot then, have you?"

"Well you know, you do like to make an ass out yourself."

"Hey," he exclaimed, tossing her over to one side while he rolled away to the other. Just another unspoken synchronised movement. They regained their stance and prepared to advance on 'Rumpous', trying to find where the Akuma had made its home. "Stop making fun of my peach."

"You're not a peach!" Ladybug groaned for the second time today. "You're a pepper!"

"Seem pretty sure there, Bugaboo."

'Rumpous' stepped forward and spun what looked like a fake bum lift insert in the air, before firing it at Ladybug. The defence of the knock caused her to fall off balance and stumble a little in getting up.

"Woah, there, peachy! No need to take it out on the lady."

"My butt is not a peach," he swung again sending the beam at Ladybug,

"LB look out!" Chat Noir dived forward, pushing Ladybug out the way and taking the hit to his rear end. Slowly, his black supersuited behind began to grow into a perfect green pepper.

"Well, would you look at that?" He said, twisting left and right for a better view. "It's seems by butt has become a hot seat."

Ladybug groaned, placing her hand to her head as she stood up. Looking towards her partner, she noticed the new addition on the back of his body and punched the air in victory.

"That's rather seedy of you," Chat said, following her gaze to his pepper.

"Sorry," she giggled, "I was having a debate with my friends and told them your butt was a pepper, and I was right. Now I just need to get Adrien Agreste's correct and that's two for two."

Chat stopped and looked over at his Lady. Bluebell eyes, raven hair, smart, caring, sophisticated, peachy butt, knows his butt type ...

"Marinette?" He questioned. Stopping the hero in mid attack. She froze up and looked at her partner.

"What?" Suddenly, the beam of light hit her square in the chest, a perfect, peachy peach forming on her backside.

"My bad," Chat said, staring at Ladybug's new predicament. "Stay peachy?" His voice was high pitched as she stalked towards him, hitting every strike back at 'Rompus' without a glance.

Within minutes, the Akuma was defeated, no Lucky Charm, no cataclysm, just a lot of rage, and Chat knew he was about to have his butt served on a platter.

"The school rooftop," she said, "now!"

With her voice like that, she didn't need to ask him twice. As he landed next to her, both hidden from prying eyes, she dropped her transformation indicating for Adrien to do the same. The fear was taking over, as he watched her glare deepen at him. He was in serious trouble, or so he thought.

She stepped towards him and he attempted to stand his ground. Whatever she was about to serve him with, he'd take it like a man. Her hands enclosed his cheeks and she pulled him roughly to her. Lips pressing against lips. He was just getting into it when she pulled away.

"Woah, M'Lady, that was ..."

"You do realise you gave my identity away?" She stated, folding her arms over her chest.

"I - um - I'm sorry?" He questioned.

"Adrien,"

"Yes, my love, my life, my best friend," he clasped his hands in his chest and gave her the kitten eyes he knew worked so well.

"Run ..."

He didn't need to be told twice.

Turning around, him and his pepper butt cheeks pegged it from the roof and into the atrium.

Luckily, when Shadowmoth went for the big attack that evening they had a winning plan, even if it meant Chat's butt being served on a platter.