The walk to your house was calm. Completely peaceful.
You began to think, letting any thoughts run loose in your mind,
but then the topic of Bokuto came up.
How you felt about him.
How did you feel about him?
All this time, you'd wanted to be best friends, right?
But best friends don't want constant hugs.
Best friends don't want to be engulfed in the other's scent.
Best friends don't smile at each other the way you smiled at him.
Best friends don't care about each other the way you cared about him.
No.
This must be some... sickness.
Yeah!
Maybe there's something wrong with me!
...why am I so happy that there's something wrong with me?
So... What do I do?
Let's see.
My hands get sweaty when I talk to him. Is that anxiety? Do I think he'll hurt me? Yes, that must be it. But he's always protected me! Okay. So... Sweaty palms, getting lost in his eyes, wanting to hug him, my ears feel hot.
Do I just go to the doctor?!
Oh my gosh...
What am I supposed to do?!
Maybe he infected me with something. I could be sick. This all started when I met him. It must be his fault somehow!
You opened the door to your house and stepped in.
"Of course. My parents still aren't home..." You muttered with a heavy sigh.
All of the thoughts of Bokuto were gone with the wind as you slammed your door shut.
You couldn't believe them - your parents. They'd always leave. This time, they only left a note! A note.
All it said was, "We're going to Jamaica for a business trip. Don't bother us unless there's an emergency. We don't know when we'll be back."
The thoughts that roamed your mind so freely and peacefully now took over menacingly, turning your emotions into bloodthirsty traps.
Your eyebrows furrowed as your lip trembled. "This isn't fair." You whispered.
"THIS ISN'T FAIR!" You shouted into the darkness of your house. No response. Not a single sound could be heard, except your whimpering and soft crying.
"What did I do...?" You murmured.
You had friends. Positive friends! But you still felt so alone. How did you just change so quickly? You were thinking about happy thoughts, like Bokuto! But as soon as you were met with your empty home, you had burst into tears.
You fell to the floor and curled up in a ball, crying and wondering why. Why didn't your parents love you? Couldn't they just bring you along? Why wouldn't they even say bye?
You squeezed your eyes tight.
Did they ever love me?
You sniffled and rose to your feet shakily, still hiccupping and letting out quiet cries.
It's okay.
I have friends.
I'm not alone.
I don't need my parents.
I'm eighteen.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I have Bokuto.
I don't need to feel alone anymore.
I can learn to live without my parents.
I'm old enough to take care of myself.
It's okay.
Your thoughts drifted to him again as you mindlessly played on your phone. You slowly began to realize what happened last night.
He had put his arm around you.
He pulled you close.
His face was in your hair.
His hand was rubbing your back gently.
Every time there was thunder, you'd flinch but he'd squeeze you tighter, pulling you closer.
Your feet kicked around as a blush crept onto your face.
So... Do I like him?
"No. If I swoon over this boy, I'm going against my independent baddie reputation... right?" You asked yourself.
"Wait, I'm not! I can be an awesome independent baddie even if I have a boyfriend!"
"Still... Does Bokuto even like me?"
"GAAAAAHHH!"
"FWAAAAAAA!"
You threw your phone at the couch and groaned.
"I must look pretty pathetic, huh?" You grumbled.
Okay. I need to ask someone about this. I need to talk to someone!
Akaashi?
Nah, he's still at Bokuto's.
Kenma?
Nope. I barely know him.
Kuroo?
I could, but he hates me.
But he's also the only one I can talk about.
Well... Fuck.
You grabbed your phone off of the couch and texted him.
Rooster
Y/n
Hiiii
Rooster
...Hi?
Y/n
I need help
Rooster
I know
Y/n
and I know you don't like me and I don't like you
but I need someone to talk to and you're the only one I have
Rooster
talk to bokuto
Y/n
he's what I need help with
Rooster
what?
uhh
okay fine
d
o you remember where I live?
there's a small park right across from my house
go there and we can talk in
Y/n
AHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH
Rooster
yeah
You grinned and put your phone in your pocket.
Wow, today is an emotional roller-coaster!
Fun.
You jogged to the designated place and Kuroo was there, leaning against a fence. He wore his red Nekoma jacket and sweatpants.
"Make it quick." He grumbled.
"Rude, but okay." You responded, putting your hands in your pockets. The two of you began to walk around.
"So," You paused, trying to form whatever the hell you were feeling into words. "Let's say, hypothetically, one of Bokuto's friends begins getting this weird thing."
"A weird thing?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Yes. A weird thing where their palms get sweaty and their face gets all red and they can't get stupid Bokuto out of their head! So, is that a disease? Or is it some kind of... I dunno?" You groaned in frustration.
Kuroo rubbed his temples. "Seriously? Is this 'hypothetical friend' you?" He asked.
"...Let's say it is."
"So what I'm hearing is that you like Bokuto," Kuroo concluded.
You squeezed your eyes tight. "That's what I was afraid of." You whispered.
One of his eyebrows raised. "What? I thought you'd be happy to like him. You two have been screaming 'we have feelings for each other!' ever since I saw you."
"Huh? No. I haven't liked him since I met him! I've just wanted to be friends with him. But then he started hugging me and saying all these nice things and getting me flustered and-"
"Ah. Ew. Stop. God, you're so happy. There are several solutions to the-" He paused and his eyes widened.
You followed his gaze to...
Oh.
Kokoro.
"Oh my god!" She exclaimed. "If it isn't Ms. Fatty and Mr. Geeky! Are you two dating?! A couple of freaks!" She smiled a fake smile, making you cringe.
"You know her?!" You and Kuroo screeched at each other.
She walked closer to you, swinging her hips. "So, Y/n. Are you on a diet yet? Your thighs sure do look-"
"How's your nose?" You interrupted her.
"Well, my nose is great! My family is going to sue your ass pretty soon, fatty." She snapped.
"Oh, I can't wait! I bet you'll be shaking in your fucking Uggs at court!" You exclaimed.
Kuroo looked at both of you quizzically. "What the hell... What happened?"
"She was rude and I punched her in the nose." You muttered.
"Yeah. And this bitch broke my nose." She whined.
You looked up at Kuroo. "Wait, how do you know her?!"
"She's my uh... She's my ex." He muttered.
The ex that Bokuto told me about?!
The one that was mean to Kuroo?!
Oh... If he dated Kokoro, he has a reason for trust issues.
Just what did she do to him?
"Yeah. I dumped him."
You scowled. She was bragging about dumping Kuroo. You weren't a fan of Kuroo, but he didn't seem like a bad person.
You made a "tch." sound. "And just how many guys have dumped your ass? Spreading your legs isn't a fucking talent, Kokoro." You said.
Kuroo suppressed a laugh, and Kokoro stuck the middle finger up at you.
"Whatever. Go ahead and date this... man-baby. He's so fucking clingy, anyone would dump him in a matter of seconds." She gave you another fake smile and left.
Kuroo was staring at the floor. His eyebrows were furrowed.
Maybe he's thinking the same thing I was a moment ago.
"What did I do wrong?"
You growled and grabbed a fistful of Kokoro's hair (and hair extensions) and pulled it as hard as you could. She was dragged backward by the force.
You stared down at her in disgust. "Since nobody has the balls to tell you," You grumbled. "Stop being a bitch."
Kokoro tried to fight back but you walked away. She didn't even follow you. Maybe out of fear. Maybe out of pure fury. Maybe she was planning her next move. Who knows?
Kuroo chuckled a bit.
"Okay. I'll give you this, you're pretty cool."
"Wow really?" You laughed. "I had a feeling you didn't like me!"
"Yeah. I'm sorry for being a dick." He said.
"It's all forgiven. I understand what happened now - if Kokoro was my ex, I'd do the same." You mumbled.
"I can't believe I was with her." He responded.
"Y'know, you don't have to tell me if you don't want but... what exactly happened with you two?" You asked. He took a deep breath.
Kuroo's POV
"What exactly happened with you two?" She asked. I inhaled, trying to fathom what she did.
"Well," I started, closing my eyes.
Kuroo's Flashback
It was our first year in high school. Poor Kenma, I left him all alone in middle school... Hopefully, he can be like plasma and-
The scent of roses engulfed me. It was strong, and it seemed to be coming from:
A girl with wavy, light brown hair walked past. Her eyelashes were long and her face was beautiful. She must've had makeup on, but even so, she looked so perfect.
I found out her name was Kokoro, and from that day forward, I began to develop feelings for her. Sure, she was rude and bratty sometimes, but who isn't? Maybe she just needs someone to hold.
Maybe I could be that someone.
So, I asked her out.
And she said yes.
The start of our relationship was easy-going. She'd get jealous sometimes if I talked to another girl, but that was completely normal, right?
She told me it was.
So it must've been true!
She wouldn't lie to me.
Then, the real jealousy started. It wasn't against a girl though - it was against my best friend.
"...You're jealous of Kenma?" I asked.
She crossed her arms. "Yes! You're never paying any attention to me!" She whined.
"I only hang out with Kenma on the weekends and during volleyball practice now! Do you want me completely to yourself? Because I'm afraid I can't do that, Kokoro!"
"Fine! Drop volleyball. I want more attention! We need to go shopping!" She groaned.
"Wha- That's all we've ever done. Fancy restaurants and malls. And there's no way I'll stop playing volleyball."
"It's just a stupid game. And Kenma is just some stupid ass femboy."
"Kenma is not stupid." I was struggling to conceal my anger - how dare she insult my best friend?!
"Oh? Getting defensive? Is he your side hoe? I bet you love him, don't you? You're a gay bastard just like him, and you-"
"Kokoro, leave."
"Okay, whatever. You're just a geek. No wonder girls don't like you. You're such a fucking idiot."
As she walked out the door, she yelled, "OH, AND I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU, BY THE WAY!"
End of Kuroo's Flashback
Back to Normal POV
"Holy shit." You breathed. "I'm so sorry that happened."
Kuroo scratched the back of his head. "It's all good. What happened with you and her?" He asked.
"She's my childhood bully!" You laughed a bit.
"Why'd she keep calling you fat?"
"She wants me to feel ugly." You guessed.
"Then she should've called you ugly. Fat isn't equivalent to ugly, that equation doesn't add up. Fat is completely normal and human! It's a type of lipid with fatty acids and-"
You smiled as Kuroo went on and on. He was right, fat didn't mean ugly. No matter how much Kokoro tried to tell you otherwise, you'd know the truth.
Skinny wasn't ugly, either.
Was anything truly ugly?
When you finished your walk around the park, you looked up at Kuroo, who had now moved onto the topic of physics.
"Hey." You whispered.
He blinked. "Uh-huh?"
"Thanks for everything. You helped me a lot today! You're awesome, Kuroo!" You hugged him and waved as you began walking back to your home.
This time, you were positive.
You had feelings for Bokuto.
So what would you do?