Good News, Bad News

Inspired by:

Good News, Bad News by David Wolstencroft

The Year of Secret Assignments by Jaclyn Moriarty

Disclaimer:

I did not write the above novels, nor did I write or create Naruto. So don't sue me.

Poverty is the schoolmaster of character.

– Antiphanes

If we were to wake up some morning and find that everyone was the same race, creed, and color, we would find some other cause for prejudice by noon.

– George Aiken

"'Scuse me! Coming through! Outta my way, punk!" Breathing heavily, a one Naruto Uzumaki, age sixteen, slammed open the door of his Literature class. Gasping for breath, he looked up at his teacher with pleading eyes. "It was those idiotic freshmen! It's not my fault both our passing periods are at the same time! Please don't give me another detention, I'll do anything!"

The teacher, a young man with a brown ponytail and a scar across his nose, looked over at Naruto in surprise. "Mr. Uzumaki, what a…surprise to see you so early." A few of the students chuckled.

Naruto lifted his head from where he had been kneeling on the floor, looking confused. "Huh?"

"You are only…" here the teacher checked his watch. "…one minute late. Congratulations, Mr. Uzumaki. You made it in time for roll call for the first time in the school year." He raised one eyebrow. "However, you should think of a new excuse. You've used that freshmen one many times before. Take a seat, please."

Grinning from ear to ear, Naruto stood up and bowed theatrically to the applause and whistles of his classmates. "Thank you, thank you," he repeated as he sauntered down the aisle.

Trying to hide a smile, their teacher turned back to the whiteboard and began to write something. Naruto finally reached his graffiti-covered, scratched-up desk in the back and plopped into the seat, expertly sliding his orange backpack off at the same time. Turning his head, he nodded to his best friend, who was slouching in the corner desk, a dark hoodie covering a mess of brown hair. "S'up, dogbreath?"

"Got some good news, bad news, foxface. And congrats on the record. First time since the first day of school, right?"

"Yep." Naruto peered at his friend's face. "Is it really that bad?"

Kiba looked up and nodded glumly. "It's so bad, that there is no good news. We should rename it 'Bad news, bad news'." With that comment, he began to slouch again.

Good News, Bad News, was a game that the two had played since they had been kids. It would start off with an innocent enough scenario, then escalate into violence or terror. The point was mostly to end up with the most favorable outcome.

"But there's gotta be some good news!" Naruto protested, not noticing that their teacher had stopped talking and was now walking towards their desks. "There's always good news!"

"Gentlemen!" Iruka yelled, slamming one hand down on Naruto's desk and the other on Kiba's. They both jumped. The scary face on their teacher vanished, replaced with an even creepier smile. "Normally, one must pay attention in class to learn."

"But Mr. Umino, we do pay attention!" Naruto protested earnestly, his face straight. "I've learned not to start food fights when the superintendents are visiting!"

"And I've learned that duct taping everything in the principle's office is not tolerated!" Kiba added solemnly.

Iruka smirked. "Very good, boys. Perhaps you would like to learn not to talk while your teacher is speaking this afternoon?"

"Oh, but Mr. Umino, we learned that last week! 'I will pay attention in math class and not shine a laser pointer on her butt'." Naruto told him. The class laughed, all but a girl with pink-dyed hair in the front that just huffed.

"Well, since you seem to have such a liking to quoting detention rather than the immortal works of Shakespeare or Aristotle, perhaps you would like spending another afternoon there. Both of you." Kiba turned pale and looked away. If he got another detention, his mom would kill him. Naruto, on the other hand, muttered something. "What was that, Mr. Uzumaki?"

"I said," Naruto raised his voice a little, blushing slightly at his words of submission. "I would rather not, Mr. Umino. Please."

Iruka was quiet for a moment, letting the class' eyes settle on Naruto. Maybe a little humiliation would make him act more appropriately. Then he sighed. "All right, Naruto. I'll let you off this time. But both of you pay attention, you hear me?"

They both nodded. "Yes, sir."

Their teacher sighed. Although he was the youngest teacher at Konoha Public High School, he was the only one that taught respect and manners. Although he didn't know it, he was one of the favorite teachers on the campus. He himself had gone to Public as a teenager, and had been one of the toughest kids around. With chains and attitude, he ruled the school. When he came back from college, however, it was apparent that he had traded in his leather and torn clothes for blue jeans and collar shirts. Iruka had been determined to help high school students to realize their true potential, as one of his teachers had shown him. This was his third year teaching, and already the students were more intelligent and respectful.

Well, at least they were respectful to the one who respected them, and who had taught them to respect themselves.

"Alright, then. Where was I?" Iruka noticed the bowl-cut boy in a green sweatshirt waving his hand around. "Yes, Mr. Lee?"

"You were about to tell us of our semester project!" exclaimed the youth, his eyes shining with excitement.

"Ah, yes. Thank you." He cleared his voice. "As I was saying, I have arranged a project for you. It's a- yes, Miss Haruno?"

Sakura put her hand down and, while twirling a piece of her hair with one finger, she popped her bubble gum and asked, "Like, how big of an effect will this have on our grades?"

"About one fourth of your semester grade, It's a letter exchange called the Secret Student Pen Pal Project! We will be exchanging letters with students from another school. You won't know who you're writing to, and neither will they. Ah, a question, Tenten?"

"Yeah." Today the rebellious teen had blue streaks in her auburn hair, with pieces of what looked like tinsel tied around her hairbuns. She pursed her blue-lipsticked lips. "What's this school we're going to be writing to? I'm not gonna talk to any of those Dirt Devils." As she leaned back in her chair to fold her arms across her chest, a chorus of boos and hoots of agreement greeted her statement.

Iruka rubbed his head in mock-frustration. "Oh ye of little faith! Did you already forget that I was once a student here? I don't think the school would let me." Dirt Devils was a common (and considered slanderous) nickname for the Sand Demons, the mascot of Kaze High School. Public (which was what the students called Konoha Public High) had never forgiven the Sand Demons for breaking their star basketball player's knee in '79. Sure, they had forgotten the situation he had been in, and who actually got hurt, and who was personally responsible, as well as the details of the mishap; but they always remembered that the team had been the Sand Demons and that their chance at the championship for the first time in years had been ruined. They continued to remind Kaze High (just in case the bastards forgot) by playing harder and dirtier in every sport, and usually winning. Thus, a deadly rivalry was born.

Tenten, of course, had considerable reason for concern, since she was on the basketball, swim, and boy's baseball teams and was captain of the cross country team as well.

Iruka reassured them once again. "And as much as I would like you to be a little friendlier to Kaze High-" here he had to raise his hands to shush the class again- "-we will not be corresponding with them, much to your happiness, I'm sure. The school in question is much closer than Kaze City." Here he smiled as if to brace the class for impact. "You will be writing to the students of Konoha Academy."

Silence.

A total and complete silence met his words.

Eyes opened in disbelief and jaws went slack. Most looked like they were trying still to process what their teacher had just said."

Iruka took advantage of the moment and launched into his planned speech. "This program is not only a Literature assignment. It is also a way for you to reach out to people your age outside of this school! It's also a way to unite Konoha's youths! Whoever your pen pal is, he or she can become your confidant, and you theirs. They won't even have to know your real names, although all pseudonyms must be approved by me before you use them. I've made a list on the board of things you might like to tell your pen pal on the board, such as your appearance, your likes and dislikes, whatever you choose to-" He was beginning to get excited, hoping that his student's blank faces meant they would go along quietly with the project instead of complaining like they always-

"Are you crazy!" Naruto snapped out of his trance-like shock. "Those snobs don't even think we're worth to wipe the dust off their designer, perfectly polished black uniform shoes, let alone write letters to!"

Iruka sighed. Well, it was Public. When were they known to cooperate with any project? All he said, though, was, "Raise your hand before you speak, Mr. Uzumaki."

Naruto's outburst seemed to have woken the rest of the class. Many students promptly put their hands in the air impatiently.

"Yes, Mr. Lee?"

Lee waved his arms around in exasperation. "I for one normally would gladly participate in any challenge, but this is an insult! How can we form a- a system of trust with spoiled ingrates that think that everyone at Public is uneducated crack heads and gang members?"

Chouji leaned over. "Lee, we do have some uneducated crack heads and gang members."

"Yeah, but they think that all of us are, like, idiots!" Sakura declared, seemingly outraged. "Just last week one of those prissies hit on me, because he thought I was some 'loose tramp'! That's what he said!" she added to the girl sitting next to her, who shook her head in anger. "Can you believe the nerve of that prick?"

"Hand, Sakura," Iruka said calmly. He knew he had to let the class vent its anger before he could go anywhere. "Yes, Tenten?"

"Just because we dress differently and look different doesn't mean they can categorize us like that! I mean, sure, the majority of us don't turn up for class, and we mess around, but we're still intelligent! We're not stupid!"

"It's so prejudice for them to look down on us just because we're having fun!" Naruto burst out again, forgetting to raise his hand. "Just because we don't use thirteen letter words in each sentence and wear fancy clothes doesn't mean those stuck-up jerks have the right to look down on us like they do!"

Iruka nodded. "But aren't all of you also being prejudiced in thinking that all of the students at the Academy are selfish snobs? In a sense, Public is so used to having to defend itself that you don't even give those other students a chance to show who they really are!" Seeing that he had the class' attention, Iruka gave them his most pleading look. "Just give it a chance."

No one answered him.

Giving up on the nice solution, he tapped his chin in concentration. "Of course, I can always switch the projects and have you write a report on the themes and ideals portrayed in the great classic Crime and Punishment…"

"We'd be happy to do the Pen Pal Project, Mr. Umino!" Sakura piped up, her eyes bright and voice a little to peppy. "It'll be a great experience." She looked back threateningly at her classmates and uttered through gritted teeth, "Won't it, guys?"

The class added its most hasty agreements.

"Good." Iruka smiled his creepy smile again. "Now, who finished the reading for The Last of the Mohicans?"

A fresh chorus of groans filled the room.

"Don't you ever let up?" Kiba demanded, burying his head in his arms.

"I try not to. But you sound like you know the entire book from cover to back, Kiba. Mind giving us a total summary?"

"Was that the bad news, bad news?" Naruto asked Kiba as they pushed their way out into the shabby quad and trudged towards their normal lunch table.

"No, that was a surprise even to me. Yo, Ten! Nice outfit today!"

Tenten turned from her spot with the jocks (since she was one of the best female athletes they put up with her strange dressing habits) and winked, pointing at Kiba's hoodie that he wore almost every day. "Right back at 'cha!"

His friend scratched his head. "Wasn't she rave on Monday?"

"No," Kiba shook his head. "She was punk Monday."

"I thought she went grunge on Monday?" He asked, confused.

"No, she was grunge on Tuesday."

"What about Wednesday, then?"

"That was bohemian."

"Oh."

Kiba shook his head. "You know that she never wears the same style twice in a week! I wonder where she gets the money for the clothes and stuff, though…"

Naruto chortled as they sat down and explained, "Her family's pretty well off, but she refused to go to Academy. She says the uniforms contain individualism." He sighed. "Alright. Time for the Bad News, Bad News. And don't go easy."

Kiba held in his breath, then let it out slowly. "Bad news is, I'm switching schools."

"Is that it? Good news is, you still live close!"

"Bad news is, Mom's moving the family to Norko." ((AN: Just to clear things up, Norko is North Konoha))

"Wha..? But that's all the way across the city!" Naruto complained.

"And I transfer next week," Kiba said miserably.

Naruto sat there, speechless. What was he going to do without Kiba? His right-hand man? His partner in crime? His cohort of all things mischievous? "Is it because I've got you into so many detentions?"

Kiba shook his head. "No way, man! Mom doesn't care about that stuff- she was just as wild at out age and worse, remember the stories?" Then he stopped and looked Naruto straight in the eyes. "You don't think it's your fault I'm leaving, do you?"

Naruto didn't answer, just looked at him with his pitiful blue eyes.

Kiba groaned. "You're like a second son to my mom, y'know? We have to move because of hers and dad's jobs! And the only reason I'm changing schools is because they both got a huge raise, and since Sis' going with them I need to go to a school with a dorm!" He shook his head, laughing slightly, and punched Naruto lightly on the arm. "I can't believe you thought it's your fault!"

Happy to know that he wasn't the cause of this catastrophe, Naruto endured the punch and asked Kiba hestitantly, "Well, what school is it?"

Here Kiba's grin faded a little. "Um…" then he muttered something.

"What was that?"

"Konoha Academy," he mumbled. Then, hastily, he opened his brown paper bag and began to eat his sandwich.

Naruto felt horrible. Suddenly, an impulsive idea came to him. "You can come live with me! Then you can still go to Public!"

Kiba brightened for a moment, then sighed. "Naw. Mom would never let me. I mean, the dorms are free, and…" his voice trailed off.

Naruto knew what he was going to say but didn't. The blonde had to work two shifts, seven days a week just to pay the bills for himself. How could he pay for two people? He thought frantically for an upside to the situation. He so hated pessimism.

Then it struck him.

A wide grin spread across his face, and he nudged Kiba in the ribs. "Hey, good news is I can come and slum off you in that fancy shmancy dorm and relieve you from the posh-ness! And you can introduce me to all the hot, rich chicks!"

At this Kiba cracked a smile. "Nope. I'm keeping those to myself. You can have the guys, though."

"Shut up and eat, rich boy!"

"Make me, pauper!" Kiba said imperiously, grinning wildly now. He remembered why Naruto was his best friend.

Because no matter how dark it is, he always finds the silver lining in the clouds.

Coming Up:

To An Academy Student, From a Public Student:

I don't want to do this, but I have to, so whatever. I'll go first! (Haha, get it? I'm the first one writing the letters? You couldn't be first even if you wanted to!) You can call me Kabuki. I go to Public, and I'm the most kick-ass dude there, not to mention the sexiest! And the one thing I want to do the most in my life is to become what my mom was- one of the best performers in the world.

LINE

TBC