To Crave Deliverance
An FMA Fanfic
Disclaimer: I do not own Fulllmetal Alchemist…it belongs to BONES and whoever else created it…Funimation too, I guess. Hell, I just know that I don't own it. This is my first attempt at an FMA fanfic, told from Lust's POV. She caught my interest as a character, and I grew to really like her. She fascinates me. She inspired me to do an introspective piece on her. I hope you like reviews are always appreciated. If this one turns out well and I get a few reviews, I might do a small anthology from the perspective all seven of the Homunculi. Or this might be just a stand-alone one-shot piece. And if I really get inspired, I might do more fics on the characters. Maybe an Ed and Winry pairing. I don't know.
Who am I? What am I? Why do I exist? Why was I created?
These were the questions I had asked myself countless times when I first came into being. I then posed them to my master, Dante, and her answer was simple. To become human. All of us. She promised us that we would be made truly human when we found the Philosopher's stone for her.
Human.
That is our greatest desire, to become human. To become of living flesh and blood. To live, to breathe, to cry, to love, to hope…to experience all the emotions. Perhaps our ultimate desire to become human is because we lack that one, quintessential thing that makes a human. A soul. A soul would make us complete, whole beings.
And yet if we became human, we would sacrifice our immortality, our preternatural strength and speed, our powers-everything. We would be nothing but weak mortals.
Many would question whether or not it's worth it. Is it, really? To give up our immortality and become creatures that experience age and decay, rather than remaining as we are, as eternal as we are unnatural?
My answer is…yes, it is worthwhile. It's worth it to find the Philosopher's Stone and become human once again. Because that is what I once was, long ago.
Memories come back to me, if only faintly. Memories of who I once was. I was a young Ishballan woman, deeply in love with a man. He was kind and gentle. I do not remember his name. I know that his younger brother, the one now known as Scar, loved me as well. He says I am not his brother's love. I am merely the shell of who she once was. I remember falling ill, and laying upon my deathbed, cradled in his arms. Then…blackness. There was a gate. And then I came back, resurrected. There was blood. There was pain. Screams of pain and madness. Agony. Chaos. I have now learned that what became of the man I once loved is that he was driven to madness by my death, and as a result, performed the forbidden arts of alchemy in an attempt to bring me back. That is the origin of all Homunculi.
All this, I remember. Except for my name. The only name I know is the one Dante gave to me. I am simply Lust.
These….these are my memories.
I am a thing that should not exist, should not be, and yet here I am, a creation from the sin and recklessness of man. And I have been named as such, for sin. I am sin. Us Homunculi are the tragic results of a human transmutation gone awry. We are perversions, accidents, freaks of nature, abominations. Call us what you will. We exist between the living and the dead. We are forever damned, living in our own personal purgatory, between heaven and hell.
Perhaps that is truly why I desire to become human, for maybe in regaining my soul, I can find deliverance at long last.
Until then, I will keep searching onward for the Philosopher's Stone until I find it at long last, and my search, and my suffering, will finally be over. I will at last know peace, and be released from this perdition.
Fin