Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't own Sailor Moon, so please, don't sue! Amethysts Garnets are red, sapphires are blue, if you dare to plagiarize, I'll come after you! (Rhyme change suggestion by Dannika Bakker—you're right—it's does fit better.)
Warning: There are reasons this fic is rated PG-13. This chapter is one of them. It contains strong language and some innuendo. You have been warned.
OOOPS!
Chapter Two
-Not the Best Way to Pass the Time-
-Tsukino Usagi
5 Minutes Later; Closet-
"Motoki, I'm going to fuckin' kill you when we get out of here!" yelled a very angry Mamoru, as he banged his fists against the door.
"If we get out of here," I pointed out. He didn't reply, so I shrugged and set about ignoring him.
While Mamoru was attacking the door, I dropped my schoolbag into the cleanest corner I could find and sat down, taking in my surroundings. The closet was no bigger than two and one-fourth square meters (one and half by one and a half meters), and what a two point twenty-five square meters it was. A single bare light bulb hung lit from the poorly painted ceiling, casting eerie shadows on the room's inhabitants and making it seem even more unpleasant than it was. From what I could see, the walls were painted a light brown, but the paint had long ago started peeling away. The floor was covered in flowered tiles and more dust than my house's attic. All in all, it was a very pleasant place. Really.
"Just what do you mean by that?" asked Mamoru, stopping his tantrum for a moment to look at me.
I raised an eyebrow at the delayed reaction but answered nonetheless. "A week ago, Motoki told me that his father was going to sound-proof the arcade. Apparently he had been seriously considering it for some time, since the neighbors are always complaining about the noise. Didn't he tell you?"
"He mentioned it, but I didn't think he was serious," Mamoru told me, a little confused.
"Oh, well, I guess he was, then," I bit back, still smarting from his earlier comment.
(X)(X)(X)
-Chiba Mamoru-
An uncomfortable silence followed Usagi's statement. Finally, I got tired of it and decided to break the ice.
"So, uh Usagi, you wanna do something?" I asked.
"You know, that could so be taken the wrong way. But then, I suppose that wasn't what you meant." She raised her eyebrows.
"Right, Odango, you should get your head out of the gutter. I'd never try anything of the sort with you."
'Oh please, you'd do anything with legs.' I nearly choked at that comment.
I don't know what the hell you're on about—perhaps you're remembering what you did for fun back at the time of the Silver Millennium?
"Oh please, you'd do anything with legs."
I stared at her. "Where the hell did you get that idea?"
She made a noncommittal noise and turned to look at the wall.
And with that my attempt to make conversation went to the dogs, and silence reigned for the next ten minutes…and then:
"I'm bored," Usagi whined in typical, Odango Atama fashion.
"So? What do you expect me to do?"
"I don't know, but you better do something because a bored Usagi is not a happy Usagi, and when I'm unhappy, I get violent. Believe me, you do not want to know what I'm capable of when I get violent!"
I glared at her. "Why don't you find a way to entertain yourself, then?"
"Because it's your fault that I'm stuck in here in the first place."
"Oh yeah, how d'you figure that?"
"Simple: you drowned Motoki in scalding coffee, he got pissed off, and now we're here."
I shrugged, not wishing to get into a fight with her. "Fine. You have a pack of cards?"
Usagi scrunched up her nose in thought. "Probably," she said, grabbing her schoolbag and proceeding to rummage through it. "Found it," she grinned a minute later, pulling out the little box. "Wanna play B.S.?" Just like that the old Usagi was back.
"B.S.?"
"Bullshit," she told me, rolling her eyes.
'Doesn't she look really cute when she does that?'
"Oh would you just shut up, you sex-deprived pervert!"
Usagi's mouth dropped open. "Excuse me?"
I licked my lips and chuckled nervously. "I wasn't talking to you."
For a few minutes, she just stared at me, then:
"You know what, I don't want to know, let's just play best out of three."
"All right…"
(X)(X)(X)
-Tsukino Usagi-
"Mamoru-san," I whined, "How could you win every round?" It had been an hour since I'd pulled the deck of cards out of my subspace pocket, and we'd just finished our third game.
"Well, Usagi, that's what happens when you play against a master."
"Master? Yeah right! You didn't even know what B.S. stood for until I told you. You just got all the good cards," I told him. "Anyway, I don't want to play cards anymore, let's do something else."
"All right, how about instead, we take turns saying something about ourselves and then asking the other person to say something similar."
I raised an eyebrow. "Ya lost me."
"For example: My favorite food is chocolate; what's yours?"
"Oh I get it, ok, can I go first?"
"Go ahead."
"My favorite colors are pink and white; what are yours?"
"Black."
"Do you like green?"
"It's all right, why?"
"'Cause you always wear that ugly jacket."
"Hey! It's not ugly. It happens to be Armani, and very expensive Armani, at that."
"Well, maybe you should stick to black because Armani or not, that jacket should never see the light of day again."
"Whatever. My favorite food is chocolate; what's yours?"
"I like anything sweet! My least favorite food is carrots; what's yours?"
"Carrots? How can you hate carrots? They're so healthy!"
"That's exactly my point, you orange-and-green-loving weirdo."
"Hey at least my favorite color isn't pink, okay?"
"There is nothing wrong with pink!"
"There is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, is not, IS NOT!"
"Is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too, is too IS TOO!"
"Jerk," I muttered sticking out my tongue.
"Look, Usagi, this bickering is getting us nowhere. Let's just keep going."
"Fine."
"Okay, I don't have a least favorite food."
"Of course you don't, you're perfect," I grumbled. He ignored me.
"My favorite subject is physics, I don't have a least favorite subject."
"Wonderful. We know the conversation is going to hell when we have nothing left to talk about but school."
"I was just wondering if you have any favorite subjects."
"For your information, Mamoru, my favorite subjects are Home Ec. and Music, and unlike you, I also have subjects that I hate. They are Math and English. My turn: My favorite animal's a bunny; what's yours?"
"I don't have a favorite animal," Mamoru told me tensely.
"Jeez, Mr. Gloom & Doom!" He rolled his eyes at my assessment.
"I was born on 3 August, my blood type is A, and my astrological sign is Leo; you?"
"My birthday is 30 June, my blood type is O negative, and my astrological sign is Cancer. Hmm...I hate dentists, ghosts, and pop quizzes; your turn."
"I hate needles. My best friends are Furuhata Motoki and Ittou Asanuma; who are yours?"
She stared at me, her mouth wide open.
"What?"
"You have a minus-zero personality, and yet you manage to have two best friends. How is that possible?"
"I'm talented," Mamoru replied, grinning.
'I'm sure,' Serenity murmured suggestively.
Aware that my cheeks were quickly becoming the color of ripe strawberries, I hurried to answer Mamoru's question so that he wouldn't notice.
What to ask...what to ask...oh, I got it! Parents always make for good conversation.
"Mamoru, myfather's a magazine editor, and my mother is a professor at the Azubu Institute of Technology; where do your parents work?"
For a reason unknown to me, he tensed. "My parents are dead." he said in clipped tones, his eyes warning me not to push the matter.
'You would have been better off telling him you're Sailor Moon and asking if he perhaps has an alter ego as well.'
Oi, I think you're right.
"Oh Kami-sama, I'm so sorry!"
"Look," said Mamoru turning to me, "I don't need your or anybody else's pity."
"That's good, Mamoru, because you know what, I don't pity you. I never did. I just meant to say that nobody should have to go through something like that, but you did, and there's nothing either of us can do about it now. And, if you're planning on continuing being such a bad conversationalist, I might as well catch up on my sleep."
'Conversationalist? Rather big word for you, ne?'
Sod. Off.
"Great. I expect you schoolbag will make a suitable pillow," he told me, turning away.
"What the hell? I'm trying to be nice and—"
"Don't hurt yourself," he snapped at me.
"Fine, I give up!" I threw my hands up into the air.
"Good. It's about time you've realized what a hopeless case I am."
"You're right, Chiba, you are a hopeless case. You're nothing but a wimp who is scared shitless to open up to people, to let them care!"
"Good thing we agree, then."
"Oh, fuck you!" I exclaimed, my anger getting the best of me.
"It'd probably improve your mood!" he snarled.
I raised my eyebrows at the statement, momentarily forgetting what we had been fighting about in the first place. "Are you volunteering?" I asked impishly.
"Just name the time and place," he shot back.
I blushed. "Okay, getting weird."
He laughed. "Sorry."
"Me too."
"For what?" he asked, gazing into my eyes.
"For acting like—no, for being a jerk. I let my temper get the better of me and said a lot of things I didn't mean."
"About the volunteering…" he trailed off.
"No, that I meant," I told him briskly, trying not to laugh as he choked in response, and failing spectacularly.
"You're not serious," he managed.
"You don't know that." Wow, that had so been worth it, just to see the look on his face. It was too bad I didn't have my camera.
He laughed, and for the first time in my presence, he was laughing with me, not at me, and you know what? It felt good.
(X)(X)(X)
-Chiba Mamoru-
When the laughter died down, I glanced curiously at my watch. Seven forty-five? The hell? No way we'd been in there for two hours.
"Usagi, what time is it?" I heard myself ask.
"Oh, it's um…" She fumbled around for a minute until she could see her watch in the dim light. "Seven…forty-eight? We've been in here for more than two hours?"
"Shit," I muttered under my breath. Usagi was right, we had been in there for two hours, and we would get hungry soon enough, not to mention sore from sitting motionless for so long.
"You should probably get some sleep, we'll be stuck here for a while."
"Yeah, ok. Good night."
"'Night."
I watched as she turned over on her side and closed her eyes, leaning against the wall. She soon fell asleep. I supposed I should probably get some sleep too. Only problem, as I soon realized, was that I had been infected with a case of temporary insomnia. I stole a glance at the sleeping Odango. How could she be so nice to everyone? Always smiling at the world, even if not at me? How could she always be so...happy, so...optimistic, when the world was like it was? Just then, Usagi turned in her sleep so that she ended up facing me.
'KISS HER!
Go away.
'Look at her.'
What? Why?
'JUST LOOK AT HER, YOU DIMWIT!'
Ok, I'm looking, I'm looking.
'She's beautiful, isn't she?'
Well, she's not particularly bad looking.
'Good, now that we agree, kiss her.'
Why would I do a stupid thing like that?
'Because you want to.'
I do not.
'Yes you d- Look, just kiss her already.'
NO!
'It's not like she's gonna know.'
Uh-uh!
'Just kiss her! There's no harm in a little kiss.'
No! I have a bet going for 5500 yen, remember? Kissing her while she's asleep isn't the best way to win her over.
'In case you haven't noticed, smart-ass, you haven't exactly been winning her over. So, either you're gonna kiss her or you're not. I vote for you to kiss her.'
I can't believe I'm actually listening to you, I thought back, complying. Just as my lips brushed against Usagi's, her eyes fluttered open...
TBC
A/N # 2: You may notice that Usagi's personality seesaws between chapters, but this is mostly because she has matured more than she'd like people to know and sometimes, her mature side slips through. Towards the end, expect a fight between Usagi and Mamoru regarding her character where she blows up like you wouldn't believe and reveals a lot more than she ever meant to.
And before someone jumps down my throat for making poor, innocent Mamo-chan so slutty, he's not. See, Usagi says he is because to Serenity (you know, that voice in her head) Mamoru and Endymion are one and the same and I imagine Endymion was a tad promiscuous before he met Serenity—I mean really—think of the time period. And Endymion, who's the voice in Mamoru's head, likes to think Mamoru's more like him than he really is. So don't worry, Mamoru in this fic is not the equivalent of fanon!Draco.
If you know what that means, leave a review. If you don't know what that means, leave a review anyway. :P
/Yes, the lectures are optional. Graduation is also optional./ -Bob Bickford