Teen Titans: Daydreams for a Solitary Walker

Part One

Chapter Four: Romance

Their faces flash by in my mind and it's like a mini-camera is going crazy in my brain. Maybe it is, who really knows? I cross the grounds of the inner-city park and admire the dark, earthy colors of the nature surrounding me, as well as the bright, seemingly unnatural pinks and purples of the sunrise in front of me. I groan to myself as I realize the obvious, at least to me, contradiction and my current predicament. I never thought that I would feel this way, let alone, just being able to feel in general.

I continue walking down the worn path of the park, my mind shifting to her dark hair, native, flawless complexion, and her authoritative demeanor. As soon as I picture her, the other one butts in with her pale moon-kissed face and her wild, unnaturally colored hair, streaking through my memory banks and stealing my thoughts away from her opponent. Never did I ever think I would fall, and fall hard, for two such complete opposites.

I've only told Dark Girl about these confusions and she's done exactly what I expected her to do: listen quietly and tell me to just follow my heart. Humph, what heart? That mass of nothing that just seems to beat rhythmically in my not-so-hollow chest? I scoffed when she told me that and I think I hurt her my making her feel ashamed for bringing it up, but it just made me laugh bitterly. I don't do body parts.

Except…..every time I see both of those fair ladies, I feel a flutter in my circuitry and, for a simple moment, I forget that there is not a real heart beneath my exterior. But it still hurts and swoons on occasion like a real one, whatever it really is in there.

I quickly move those ideas from my mind and get back to the matter at hand. Walking silently through the sunrise, every little thing reminds me of them. The bark on the tree reminds me of the rough exterior she exudes with her team, and the pale pink of the sky looks like the slight blush that rises on her cheeks when she is fighting. I laugh quietly as I see a very contrite sight—a few bees are attacking some pink and purple wildflowers in the distance, trying to get the life sustaining juice and pollen from them.

I don't really know when these feelings started, but they are something that I have to deny every single day. Battles are awful for me because I cannot stand to fight against her, it's just too hard. I'm falling in love with two of the most incredible women; one is my sworn enemy and the other is too busy and devoted to her team to see how much I care, let alone the very fact that I exist.

I look up and see the sun has now risen completely into the sky and I need to be heading back before breakfast or the others will start to wonder. I do enjoy these quiet walks by myself but sometimes, I hate having the time to process these files inside of me. The rush and the overdrive style of life is good because then I don't have to think about them. The busy atmosphere also keeps me from deciding which might actually be the right one for me….. And also, if I don't have another contestant from the past to divide my heart even further.